Baba Yaga
And you’re almost like that card played by the magician
But, this time, you’re not coming back
And it’s slipping through my first, blurry at the edges
Leaving only legend
You go as a dream
“Go as a Dream” - Caroline Polachek
Judy’s silhouette fielded into vision, resting against a balcony. I stand beside her, trying my best not to make my staring obvious. Rain water coated her skin, leaving a glimmer of different hues as the lights of the city reflected off her.
She’s so fuckin’ gorgeous, I thought.
Suddenly her face was so close to mine as she pressed a soft kiss on my cheek. At that moment I wanted nothing more than to hold her in a tight hug, to assure her that everything would be okay. We had just overtaken Clouds, and I could tell Judy was disappointed in how the events progressed.
I remembered holding on to the feeling of her kiss up until the day she invited me on our first date. The date didn’t go as planned, since my brain had decided to short-circuit underwater. However, that didn’t stop the night all together. The feelings both of us had pent up for weeks were suddenly matched, bringing us together in an extremely emotional and intimate evening. Our first kiss… The hesitation of leaning towards one another, meeting our lips together for that resistance to finally be broken, bursting into a deep and gentle passion of neediness.
That next morning sitting on the dock, Judy’s smile of adoration had melted my insides, after I had told her I wanted to start a relationship with her.
Since that evening, Judy was always caring for me. Though she showed it in subtle ways, such as leaving me surprise gifts, or sending me a couple texts throughout the day; I always knew just how deep her affection was. Hell, the way she smiled when I would stop by her apartment was enough evidence. She deserves so much, so much more than I can give her.
“God, I love you.” I croaked.
My eyes suddenly snapped open, harsh lights stinging my vision. I squinted and blinked rapidly, trying to better adjust my sight in order to make out my surroundings. My head throbbed, a dull relentless ache.
“Uh...Glad you’re awake!” An unfamiliar voice responded.
I squinted in the direction of the voice. An unfamiliar man in a doctor’s coat stood beside me, IV bag in hand.
“…Sorry, I- uh…” I muttered, suddenly remembering the series of unfortunate events that likely brought me under this medical supervision.
“Can’t say I’ve heard worse, considering that was quite the adorable confession.” The doctor chuckled.
I laughed in response, only to be caught short by a sudden sharp pain in my abdomen. I winced and reached down, realizing that my torso was wrapped in gauze bandages.
“Easy there, lover. Try not to laugh too much for the time being.” The doctor teased as he began replacing my IV.
“Wha-what happened to me, exactly?” I asked.
I looked up at him and suddenly became aware of his physical features. A tall, thin man with tanned skin and short black hair. Fairly young, couldn’t be a day over 30.
He looked down at me and smiled warmly.
“Just typical car-crash related injuries. Couple fractured ribs, tons of bruises, mild concussion. None of which made any better by the beating you received.” He replied.
I nodded, shifting my gaze ahead of me. It had become night. We were in a large tent with a couple medical beds and surgical tables spread about. The medical equipment was top-tier, definitely not your standard nomad medical tent. I didn’t recognize this man as being part of the Aldecaldos, either.
“Are you with the Technomancers?” I asked, speculatively.
I wondered how Nate and Panam’s “conversation” had continued. Clearly, some kind of agreement must have been made. Otherwise, I would probably be waking up in the Aldecaldos’ ripper trailer.
“I guess you could say that. Think of me sort of as… a medical contractor. Name’s Sonny, by the way.” He replied.
“Gotcha. Nice to meet ya, Sonny. And uh, thanks for lookin’ after me.” I reached out my hand, offering a handshake.
Sonny grasped my hand in his, shaking gently.
“Not a problem, it’s my job. I’ll go inform Panam and Miss Alvarez that you’re awake, if that’s alright with you?” Sonny inquired after he released my grip.
I nodded and smiled.
The doctor exited the tent promptly. I suddenly heard excited voices and footsteps hurriedly approaching the tent. Judy popped into vision, standing briefly in the doorway and then bounded over in my direction. A smile involuntarily pressed into my cheeks as soon as I saw her.
“V!” Judy exclaimed.
She stood at my bedside and took my hands into hers. She squeezed them and looked at me, a large grin painting her face. Tears welled up in her eyes, she squeezed my hands a bit harder.
“Hey, you.” I murmured, winking.
“Oh gracias madre, you’re still a gonk!” She breathed, letting out a relieved chuckle.
She kneeled down, keeping her hands around mine. She gently rested her head on my forearm and smiled up at my face.
“I’m still a gonk.” I laughed, wincing from the action.
“Dios mio, V. Is everything okay? Doc only said you were up, nothin’ else.” Judy frowned.
I squeezed her hands, so as to reassure her sudden concern.
“I’m okay, really. Just some fractured ribs and bruises.” I released a hand from her grip and brought it to her head.
I gently ran my fingers through her hair. Judy leaned into my touch, closing her eyes with satisfaction.
She opened them back up and looked up at me, “I was so scared, V.” Judy murmured.
“I’m sorry, Judy. I wish you didn’t have to see that.” I said softly.
Judy pulled her head off my lap and looked me dead in the eye. She shook her head and brought a hand up to cup my cheek.
“Do not apologize, calabacita. None of this is your fault, you understand?” Judy replied, a sudden stern tone.
I shook my head and sighed, meeting her gaze with an equal seriousness.
“No, Jude, I am sorry. You don’t deserve this, any of this… You deserve to be with someone who isn’t dyin’ for starters… But here you are, with me. And not only am I a ticking time bomb, I apparently got iron held to my back at all times. This ain’t this ‘life’ you were lookin’ for when we left NC. It is my fault, and I’m sorry.” I declared.
I wanted Judy to be aware of how I felt, how I was constantly combatting feelings of selfishness and guilt, knowing I was willingly putting her in harm's way. Selfishly, because I needed her. To be honest, she completes me. She made me feel safe, even under the most treacherous circumstances.
Judy’s brows furrowed together. Her look at me was at first confused, which then slowly transformed into frustration. She pulled herself back from the bed and shook her head at me, scowling a bit before looking off to the side.
“V, seriously? You think you have any right to tell me what I do and don’t deserve? You’re sayin’ this shit as if I never had a say in it. I knew what I was signin’ up for as soon as you told me ‘bout the relic that night before Clouds.” Her voice was hot with anger, similar to the times she had snapped at me when we first met in Lizzie’s basement.
“Goddammit, V. Why can’t you realize that I might wanna be here?” A sudden sorrow changed her tone.
I reached out, pulling her hands back into mine. I looked down, perhaps out of frustration, but mostly out of embarrassment. I guess I hadn’t considered that she fully knew the consequences to her decisions. I guess I hadn’t considered that she cared enough to want to stay despite those consequences.
“Judy, I’m sorry I just…” I gulped, swallowing my tears.
“I’m just not used to someone caring about me like that, I guess.” I muttered, my voice small.
Judy squeezed my hands and opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by Panam’s sudden entrance into the space.
“V! Holy shit!” Panam exclaimed, smiling as she made her way over to us.
I smiled at the Aldecaldo leader as she stood next to Judy, hands resting on her hips.
“Damn, am I glad to see that face of yours.” Panam added.
“Hi, Pan.” I smirked.
“You good, feeling okay? Nothing broken?” Panam asked, shifting her weight from one foot to the next.
I could tell she was impatient to tell me about her conversation with Nate.
“Ya know, just some scratches.” I responded cockily.
Judy scoffed and rolled her eyes, lifting herself up from her knees.
“Glad to hear it. So, as Judy already knows, we unfortunately had to trade you for the Basilisk.”
“Unfortunately?” Judy muttered, shooting a deadly look at Panam.
Panam grasped Judy’s shoulder and shook her head.
“No, V’s rescue is entirely fortunate. The circumstances; however, are not.” Panam explained.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
Panam sighed and proceeded to pull up two chairs for her and Judy. They took their respective seats and Panam proceeded to explain that Nate wasn’t working for any corporation, despite what I had originally assumed. Instead, the Technomancers were working to sabotage Kang Tao and needed a panzer in order to assist with their plans. Apparently Pablo has some deep seeded beef with K.T. and the only way he agreed to meet was for Nate to “deal with the problem”. Ultimately, this worked out best for the ‘Mancers too, since they’d been itching to get their hands on some military-grade cybernetics. Panam stated that Nate knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t willingly sacrifice the tank without a threat, though the threat was seemingly extreme. She was clearly angry with him, but something deep within her eyes showed a sense of admiration for the Technomancer. Panam said that Nate wasn’t intending on actually killing me, since he knew that the threat alone would be enough leverage to get what his clan wanted.
“Still wanna kill that asshole.” Judy muttered.
Her hands were crossed across her body. She turned away, glancing off at the door. I could tell her angry mind was plotting an assassination.
Panam rested her hand on Judy’s shoulder and gave it a strong squeeze.
“I did too, at first. But he really didn’t plan on causing any harm.” She sighed, “I still think we could have just had a conversation about it… But, wouldn’t expect anything less from him, if I’m being honest.”
I scoffed, “You’re not tellin’ me you actually forgive this gonk?”
Panam looked at her feet.
“We have… A history. I’m pissed, but I’ve forgiven him.” She muttered.
I burst into laughter, immediately understanding what she meant by “history”.
“Pan… You mean to tell me you actually-“
“SHUT IT, V.” Panam snarled.
Her sudden anger caused me to laugh harder, followed by a sharp hiss of pain from using my abdomen muscles. The pain wasn’t enough for me to stop finding this all too amusing.
“Baby stop hurting yourself.” Judy said while trying to keep a straight face.
“I’m not gonna hear the end of this, am I?” Panam whispered.
***
Sonny had allowed me to leave his care after a few extra tests and medication rounds. The top-tier medical tech had allowed my surface wounds to heal almost instantly; however, my ribs would take a day or two.
The Technomancers had an extensive layout of large tents and trailers. The Nevada heat was reaching next level heights, so the living quarters were strictly kept to trailers in order to accommodate air conditioners and air purifiers. Nate had been able to grant us a private trailer for the evening. It was extremely large and even had multiple bedrooms. Judy and I shared the same trailer with Panam, who was currently out discussing plans and business with other nomads. I laid myself down on the bed, which was surprisingly very clean and very comfortable.
I guess being a corpo scav can have its perks.
Judy sat beside me, she was in the midst of redressing my bandages.
“V, I’m still upset about what you said earlier.” She mumbled after a long, uncomfortable silence.
“Jude, I’m sorry. I’m seriously just not used to this… to any of it.” I sighed.
“Well you better get used to it, ‘cause I ain’t goin’ anywhere, okay?” Judy replied.
I nodded meekly as I observed her begin to apply antiseptic to a gash across my rib cage. The sting of the ointment caused me to wince. Judy gently placed a bandage over the wound and leaned down to press a soft kiss over it.
“What you were sayin’… Made me think you were tryna get rid of me, or somethin’.” She said softly, leaning back up and staring into my eyes.
“No! No, no. I just… I feel guilty. I don’t have a lot of time left and you’ve already lost so much…”
“V, stop. You’re gonna make it through this, okay? And even if you don’t… Well. Let’s not think about that.” Judy suddenly grabbed my face and kissed me.
I returned the kiss before shaking my head and pulling away.
“Jude, we gotta think about it, though.” I whispered.
“I have thought about it. Honestly, V, I think about it a lot. Doesn’t change how I feel.”
I didn’t know what to say. The amount of care and dedication Judy possessed was incredible.
“Heh, I may have confessed my undying love to Sonny earlier.” I joked in an attempt to brighten the mood.
“Sonny…? The doctor?” Judy smirked, cocking her head to the side.
“Yeah, when I first woke up. Heh, thought he was y-” I paused, realizing by saying this was basically outing my love for Judy.
My cheeks burned red, “Yaga Baba. Fuck- I mean, Baba Yaga, yeah. I thought he was Baba Yaga!” I stammered.
“Mhm… As in the mythical, hideous, cannibal from a million years ago?” Judy’s smile grew larger, she knew I was full of shit.
Fuck, she sees right through me, I thought.
I reached my hand behind my head and itched anxiously.
“Yeah, ya know, the old-timey folklore is really cool and stuff… Like, cannibals, wow! Ya know?” I was babbling, fuck.
Cannibals, “wow”? Seriously? I’m such a gonk.
“...mhm. That’s really cool, V.” Judy was holding in laughter.
My cheeks grew hotter and I took a deep breath. I didn’t know why I felt so nervous to tell Judy how I felt. She deserves to know the truth, and most importantly, she deserves to be loved. The guilt of having an expiration date was what was really causing my hesitance. How selfish would it be to have someone fall for you, knowing that you only had six more months on this Earth?
Suddenly, Judy was scooting herself closer to me, still wearing her shit-eating grin. I watched her carefully while trying my best to stay collected.
“Judy… I-” I began saying.
My words were interrupted by Judy’s lips as she leaned in for a long, passionate kiss. There was a certain lust fueling it, not the kind of lust I had grown familiar with. I kissed her back and brought my hands up to her waist. Her hands met mine as she laid them over my hold. We continued the same rhythm with our lips for a while before she pulled away, looking deeply into my eyes. Her cheeks had turned a lighter shade of red than mine, but nonetheless, she was indeed blushing. I grinned as her lips curled into a mischievous smirk, what is she plotting?
She lifted herself up onto her knees, bringing one up and over my abdomen to rest on the other side of me. She took her hands away from my own and rested one on each side of me. And just like that, she was straddling me. I looked up at her feverishly, knowing now what exactly she was “plotting”.
“So, do you want me to pretend I’m Baba Yaga?” She asked, winking at me.
“Hell no.” I replied as I pulled her hips down toward my own.
Judy leaned down and began kissing my neck. My grip on her hips tightened as the sudden stimulation from her kissing involuntary sent my hips up to hers, slightly grinding against her.
Judy brought her lips over to my ear and whispered, “So you don’t want me to eat you?”
“Oh, yes. Please, pretend away.”
And just like that, my love for Baba Yaga was no longer a lie.