One Juncture to the Next

I like you best when you're starting to crack
Sit on your hands till they fall asleep
Sit in the mud until you start to weep
And when your body starts to decay
I'll say I always liked you better this way
Cause you were always too big for this world
Cause your stomachs filled with water and pearls

“Age of Information” - Evanora Unlimited

Panam pulled the Thorton over to the edge of a cliff, one trapped in my recent memory as I recalled admiring the view on my way to the lakeside bungalow Judy had invited me to some weeks back. Panam looked over her shoulder, smiling at me warmly.
“Heh, look at the city. Somewhere in there those bastards from Arasaka are wondering how they lost everything” She smirked some more, glancing over the cityscape in front of us.
She glanced over at me again, “They’ll figure it out one day, but we’ll be long gone.”
She glanced back over Night City, briefly shook her head, and then turned herself towards me fully.
“Gotta say, I didn’t expect things to end this way.” I muttered, leaning over the edge of the lookout.
Panam looked at me, curiously, awaiting my next words.
When they didn’t come, she asked, “You mean Mikoshi?”
I shook my head, keeping my eyes glued to the city in front of me.
“Oh, you mean Night City. Did you think you would stay forever?” She pondered.
I sighed, “No, not forever. I had kind of made loose plans to ditch this place with someone.”

Judy, I thought to myself. I glanced over in the direction of Watson, wondering what she was doing right now. Probably waiting by her apartment window, worried sick. The last words I had said to her over the holo were ominous at best.
“Would this ‘someone’ be that output of yours?” Panam asked, eyebrow raised.
I had briefly mentioned Judy to Panam a few times during our gigs together. Things had still been so new, I didn’t want to completely gush about her in the instance things with us didn’t pan out in my favor. I recall the morning after Laguna Bend, I had immediately accompanied Panam in securing the Panzer. She had noticed my “morning-after” glow, and after testing the Panzer’s dual-person sync together, she put the pieces together.
I remember after I had woken up from my relic-malfunction at the Aldecaldo camp, Panam made a sly remark along the lines of, “Is this because of your unspoken rendezvous last night?”
I had looked at her with confusion and shock, one with the revelation of her having felt my memories of Judy and me in the cabin, and the other being that I didn’t remember passing out after taking a sip of Broseph.
I remembered meekly asking, “Did you see my memories?”
Panam had chuckled and shook her head, “No, V, but I sure as hell felt them.”
After explaining the biochip to her, I admitted to Panam that I had gone on a date with Judy. I didn’t go into too much detail, purposely leaving out that I had another relic-malfunction, so as not to worry her of how serious my condition really was.

A warm blush filled my cheeks as I nodded my head, answering Panam’s inquiry.
“Ah, so you and the underwater braindance technician ended up really hitting it off after that, huh?” Panam mused, clearly entertained by seeing my embarrassment.
“Yeah, you could say that,” I let out a half laugh, shaking my head.
“Judy Alvarez, right?” Panam asked, tilting her head to the side.
I broke out of cityscape hypnosis and looked over at her, jaw slacking in shock at Judy’s name being spoken from Panam’s mouth. I had never told her Judy’s first name, let alone her last name.
My eyebrows furrowed together and I looked at Panam with my mouth open, wanting to ask how the hell she knew her name.
Panam cut me off, “C’mon kid, there’s a surprise waiting for you back home.”
She loosely wrapped her arm over my shoulder, gently tugging me back in the direction of her truck.
A surprise? I shook my head again. She couldn’t be talking about Judy, could she? There was no possible way she could have tracked her down, she had been by my side since she picked me up before our Arasaka extravaganza.
“...A surprise?” I breathed, opening the passenger door.
Panam burst out laughing, hopping swiftly in the driver’s seat.
“Precisely, a surprise. Therefore, you just need to sit your ass down and wait it out.” She winked at me as she turned on the engine.
I looked out the window, mouth still open in disbelief.
“Guess I’m about to find out.” I whispered, partially to myself.
Eyes glued to Night City, we raced our way down the road until the view panned out of my eye’s reach.
***

A while later we arrived at camp. As we parked, Mitch hopped out of her car and strolled over to my window. I pressed the window down and smiled, seeing Mitch’s face made me realize not all was lost in our crusade.
“Hey, Mitch.” I greeted with enthusiasm.
“Hey! Let’s get the fuck out of here, shall we?” He replied, a smug smile on his face.
“Everything all ready to go?” Panam chimed in.
Mitch nodded, gingerly stepping away from the Thorton to let me exit the truck.
“Everything is laid and in place?” I asked, directed to the both of them as I started to step out of the vehicle.
“They are indeed.” Panam mused, then added “But, someone is supposedly waiting for you… Come see us later. We’ll talk about the who, what, and how.”
I shot my gaze over to Panam, excitement twinkling in my eyes.
“Your surprise, V. Just over there.” Panam winked and gestured behind me.
A smile tugged at my lips. I quickly shut the door of the Thorton and jogged over in the direction Panam had gestured to. I rounded a corner and spotted two figures leaning against a few storage crates, the first figure was that of Carol, glancing down at a data pad. The second figure was shrouded behind her, the only part visible was a black leathered pant leg and a black high top sneaker… Judy’s sneaker.
“V! You’re here!” Judy’s voice chimed out.
She pulled herself out from behind Carol, a large smile painted on her face. The golden sunset rays masked the side of her face, showering her skin in a wonderfully rich orange hue. A large smile met my lips, butterflies erupting in my chest as my eyes met hers.
“Jude! You made it.” I exclaimed, in disbelief.
I stepped closer to her, so as to assure myself that I wasn’t dreaming. Judy’s smile stayed plastered to her face as she opened her body language to me as I edged closer. I rubbed my eyes and let out a laugh of disbelief.
“I doubted you would come.” A disgruntled Carol remarked.
Still smiling, Judy briefly glanced at Carol and then back at me.
“Yeah, Carol gave me a ride. Never would’ve found this place otherwise.” Judy said, chuckling.
I laughed, rubbing my eyes again still in disbelief. Judy looked stunning, glowing even. Though the golden-hour rays may have been biasing my examination.
“Damn, I’m glad you’re here. So fuckin’ glad you didn’t change your mind.” I breathed, stepping closer in Judy’s direction.
I wanted so badly to pull her into my arms, to feel her heat against me, smell her familiar smell, to make sure this was really happening. My only inhibition were the growling stares coming from Carol, who was watching my every move.
Judy burst into laughter, the smile on her face the most genuine I had seen since I had told her I wanted to pursue a relationship with her. To be seeing her this happy was enough to bring tears to my eyes.
“Ha! I think I made up my mind about leaving before you did.” She teased through her laughter.
Suddenly her laughter dulled, she looked down at her feet.
“It’s just…Uh,” She murmured, glancing an unsaid desire over to Carol.
“Hm, seems like you guys got some things you need to hash out. Leave you girls to it.” Carol chortled, abruptly walking away from us.
Judy glanced back down, uncertainty clouding her expression.
Shit, I thought. Judy suddenly didn’t seem too happy anymore. The smile burning the sides of my cheeks faded.
I stepped closer to Judy’s side and glanced at her, meekly.
“Shit, is everything alright?” I asked, voice small suddenly.
Judy took a deep breath and looked back up at me, a warmness in her eyes. Reassurance quickly filled my heart, as I recognized the affection in her gaze.
“It’s just… Here, now, I think I realize I never felt right in Night City.” Judy replied, looking off into the distance. A sort of bitter nostalgia blanketed her gaze.
The desire for her physical tough overcame me. I gingerly took her hands into mine and rubbed my thumb along the backsides of her hands. They trembled slightly in mine, the realization that she was nervous suddenly dawned on me.
She looked into my eyes briefly, before glancing back out in the distance again.
“Used to be a time I’d think it would feel like home, maybe even feel comfortable,” She drawled, slowly glancing back over to me.
Instinctively, I wrapped my arm over her shoulder, gently pulling her close to me.
“You’ll find your home.” I whispered.
Goosebumps shivered over my skin at feeling her skin on mine. She looked at me, longingly, then a playful smirk lazily danced over her lips.
“You only say that because you’ve already found it.” She remarked, her grin flickering off her face like a faulty bulb.
“You’re not wrong,” I muttered weakly before pulling her body closer, “I’ve found it in you.”
Judy turned to me, suddenly, she looked deeply into my eyes. A glimmer of affection clouding her irises as her smile once again danced across her lips.
“Y’know V,” She replied quietly, “I used to mark time in stages, one juncture to the next. There was the megabuilding hole-in-the-wall phase, the group home phase, the Mox phase… Every time I thought I’d found a new home, and every damn time I came away disappointed.” She continued, breaking eye contact.
I looked at her quizzically, was she saying I was just going to leave her disappointed? My stomach dropped a bit. Of course she would think that. For starters, I’m a ticking time bomb. She knows deep down that our time together is a losing battle. My grip on her shoulders unconsciously loosened. Judy noticed the shift in my body language immediately, she quickly brought her hands to my face, cupping my cheeks. Her sudden eye contact burned into my eyes, an unspoken reassurance filled her gaze hoping to spill over into me. I fought tears as I looked back into her, feelings of hurt and confusion must have been palpable as she gestured a comforting stroke of her thumbs over my cheeks.
“V… All I’m saying is that I’m sick of running away. Sure, this could just be another phase, the ‘Aldecaldo and V’ phase, but I’m gonna take this one on fully. No doubts, no second guesses. I might not find a home per say with the clan, but y’know… I found one with you, too.” Judy murmured.
I smiled weakly, feeling overcome by the sudden happiness building up in my chest. I pulled my arms around her waist, wrapping her in a tight embrace. Judy draped her arms around my neck, pulling me close. I brushed my cheek against hers, breathing in her comforting smell.
“This will be the new beginning you’ve always wanted, Jude. I’ll make sure of it.” I whispered.
Judy pulled back, hands resting on my cheeks again. A small stream of tears rolling down her cheeks as a big grin met her lips. Her eyelids lowered and she leaned in, parting her lips as they brushed against mine. I kissed her softly, feeling a whirlwind of emotions dance between us.
Judy pulled away again, looking deeply into my eyes, “You’re too big for this world, V.” She breathed.
I reached my hand up and cupped her cheek, wiping away her tears with my thumb.
“No, Jude, you are. That’s why I’ll do everything I can to make this world a home for you.”