Loki couldn't sleep. It was midnight when Loki decided to lay in Sigrid's bed with her, petting her hair like he used to when she was a baby. Everything has been hard lately. Sigrid has been his reason to remain sane but it's breaking him to know she's so angry and hurt. She doesn't understand why Tony is gone but she knows it's hurting Loki. His thoughts are interrupted when he hears a knock. It's midnight. Who would be knocking right now?
Loki gets up and closes Sigrid's door. He puts a charm around her bed. He couldn't help it. He was on alert. He slowly approached the door. He stood in front of the front door for a long time before he finally opened it.
"Hey." Tony whispered.
"Goddamn it, Tony." Loki hissed.
Loki holds his stomach with one hand and pushes Tony out the house, closing the door behind them with his other hand.
"What are you doing here?" Loki snapped.
"I need to talk." Tony practically begged.
"We already talked."
"No, you talked because I made a stupid decision. Now I talk because I made a stupid decision."
"What can you possibly say?"
"A lot of things but first of all, three months is not fair."
Loki sighed. Maybe he was being ridiculous about giving him a time limit.
"Secondly, please don't take my children from me." Tony took a deep breath. "I don't talk about my old man a lot. You know I have daddy issues. But goddamn it, Loki. I try. I really do."
"That doesn't mean anything." Loki was ice cold.
"I love you. God, I really love you. I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it. You're not teaching Sigrid to be a slut nor are you one. I didn't want you to get rid of Magnus and I'm glad you didn't. I know you'd never cheat or wander away. If you wanted to, you'd just leave. I know Bruce would never cross that line. I know my drinking was out of control. I understand your depression. I just love you so much. I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose Sigrid again. And god, I want to be a better father to Magnus than my father was to me. I want to break the cycle."
Loki doesn't say anything. He can't bring himself to. Tony, however, keeps talking.
"I'm not asking to come home or to let me back in our bed. I'm asking you to let me see Sigrid. Just once. I haven't seen her in months. Let me see an ultrasound of Magnus. Hell, tell me how pregnancy has been for you. Just give me one little thing and I won't come back until I'm all the way good." Tony begged.
"Tony.." Loki shook his head.
"Tell me you still love me."
"Tony. I'd still marry you."
"Let me kiss you one time and I'll leave right now. Sigrid will never know I was here."
"I can't."
"Please."
"No. If I do, then I won't let you leave. And we know it's for the best. Until we're both better."
"Did you mean it?"
"Mean what?"
"When you said you'd still marry me. Did you mean it or are you lying?"
"I haven't lied to you in a very long time, Tony."
Tony wants to cry. God, he wants to cry. Loki wasn't letting him see his own daughter. He was protecting his pregnant stomach as if Tony was going to hurt Magnus. Loki was right though. It's for the best until they both were better. Loki knew if Tony saw Sigrid, it would all be for nothing. It'd be worse if Sigrid woke up and saw Tony. He'd learn how complex her emotions towards him actually were. And it would break his heart. Loki knew Tony didn't need that. Didn't need to know his daughter hated his guts. But like Loki said, he hasn't lied to Tony in a long time.
"I'm not being cruel." Loki says in a soft voice. "I don't want you to hurt anymore."
"I'll always hurt for you." Tony replied. "You and the kids."
"Sigrid is angry. God, Tony. She's so angry but it's like your anger. It scares me sometimes. She says she hates you and it breaks my heart. She's a little goddess of magic. She sensed my sadness and through the seidr, she knew it was because you "hurt" me."
"What did you tell her?"
"I tell her Daddy loves her very much. I tell her Daddy works for us. I tell her Daddy is a little sick so he had to go away for a while."
"Let her hate me. I guess I still need to work on breaking the cycle. I hated my father for a long time and I really thought I was better with Sigrid. He never showed me any support. He wasn't there for me. When you gave me Sigrid, I wanted to cry. I was afraid I'd hurt her the way my father hurt me. I mean damn it, Loki. I survived childhood abuse. But I feel like I did so much worse to her than he ever did to me."
The conversation was done. Loki agreed to give Tony as much time as he needed just as long he was getting better. Just like Loki thought, Tony's heart shattered but he didn't blame anyone. Tony let Sigrid hate him. After all, Tony did do wrong. He didn't beg for forgiveness over the attempted rape. Tony accepted what he had done and knew begging for forgiveness would not be real forgiveness. Loki wanted to forgive him but Tony knew better. He knew if Loki forgave him right now, it would be too easy. Too easy to get back in his bed with Loki. Too easy to kiss Sigrid goodnight. Too easy to have Loki fall back in the darkness that Tony cast. Tony just knew if Loki forgave him, it would be too easy to kiss with everything they had in them. And it would all be for naught.
"Say it." Tony said. "Say it and I'll leave."
Loki knew what he wanted. And like always, he gave it to him.
"I love you, Anthony Edward Stark."