Suddenly big brother

Bucky nibbles on his right thumb, walking up and down behind a couch and mumbles to himself. Now and then he groans, but he mostly just mumbles and fidgets with his other hand on his shirt or pants. He’s nervous. You don’t need to be a genius to tee that. Sam and Wanda sit on another couch and eye him confused. They asked him several times if he’s okay but Bucky didn’t answer. He didn’t even seem to register them. Steve and Y/N sit on the floor between all the couches. Wanda had moved the coffee table away to give them more room as play field. They both have taken it up to themselves to play with the stuffed she and elephant. Steve even sneaked Bucky’s bear out of the room and into the common area. They make funny noises and giggle when the other does something funny. Steve is totally invested in showing Y/N how the bear can ride on either the elephant or the sheep. She smiles and claps her hands together before she ties it herself. “Buck!” Sam calls suddenly but other than scaring Wanda and getting the kids to look up with confused expression he gets no reaction. He then takes a pillow and throws it at Bucky’s head, hitting him right I the face as he turns around again. “Wah- Hey!”

“I talk to you, Barnes.” Bucky grumbles something but places the pillow down on the couch in front of him. “What?” He looks at Sam with a slight scowl. “What is up with you, man? You’re making me nervous with your nervous walking.” Bucky raises an eyebrow at him but sighs and lets himself fall on the couch, rolling over the backrest. “I don’t know. It’s just…” He trails off and stares blankly at the ceiling. “Just?” Wanda asks and keeps herself from reaching out for his mind. Bucky sighs again and throws an arm over his eyes to shield himself from everything. He knows that Wanda and Sam look at each other with quizzical expressions while he listens to his two kids playing between them. He hears the door and glances briefly at it before he hides again but as soon as his arm is over his eyes, he takes him off again and shoots up into a sitting position. “Nat!” Nat jumps slightly but acts as if she doesn't and only glares at Bucky for a second before she looks at Sam and Wanda. “What's up with him?” She points at the brunette but only receives two pairs of shrugging shoulders. “Nat.” Bucky says again and this time Steve looks up. “Aunt Nat.” He jumps up and runs to her, hugging her legs. Y/N scrambles up with some huffing and waddles over to her too, mirroring Steve on the other lag. The spy laughs and picks them both up with no real struggle before she sits on the couch next to Bucky. “What do you want Barnes?”

“I need a favor. A big one.” Bucky watches as Nat squints her eyes at him with a slightly weary expression. “I’m listening.”

“Okay. How do I explain this? You know that Steve and I can somewhat control our droppings, right?”

“Yes.” She says it flatly as she starts to tickle Y/N’s tummy. “Okay. But sometimes we need to give in to the dropping even if we don’t want to. Mostly when we’re stressed.”

“I know. Can you just say what you want from me?”

“Okay, okay.” Bucky shuffles nervously on his seat, looking at his hands. “I know I’m not stressed. Not really. But there is this itch and it feels like I need to drop. I don’t want to until Stevie is big but this is just… It feels like a need. Like I can't hold it up any longer.”

“You need to drop?” Wanda asks and eyes him as Steve comes over to her to snuggle up to her. “Yes?” Bucky forms it as a question. Not really knowing if this is what makes him feel better, what the feeling is actually trying to tell him. He never had this itch without being stressed. “And you want me to look after you all.”

“Yeah.” Bucky nods at Nat's statement. His answer is a bit quieter than normal, and he fidgets with his fingers in his lap, keeping his gaze down to not meet any or the face that probably are facing him. “I don't know. We could be called to a mission any moment. And I'm not sure I’m a good choice for this.”

“I know but I saw you with Clint's kids and you’re great with them. I promise it won't be long. Four hours minimum a day at max. Please Nat. I don’t want to drop while sleeping and leaving us all without being watched. You know me and Steve well enough.” Bucky begs. He ever does. Not since Y/N had dropped and even before that he only did it with Y/N, and he was mostly a kid then. “Okay. Fine. A day max. You own me big one.”

“I know. Thank you.” Bucky kisses her cheek before he practically runs out of the room. Nat stays on the couch with Y/N in her lap and looks to Sam and Wanda. “That unusual.”

“That’s so not him.” Sam looks to Wanda but she shakes her head. “I’m not digging around in his head. He has the right to keep some secrets.”

On the way to the apartment Bucky thinks about his request. He knows it was awkward as fuck and that he probably confused the hell out of his teammates. But this is something new. He loves Steve and Y/N. But it was a while since he was able to drop and since he did it quite often when Y/N was big he kind of misses it now. He walks into the kids’ room and picks out some clothes before he walks back to his room. He looks at his bed but shakes his head before he heads over to Y/N’s room. He lies down on her bed and briefs in her familiar scent. He lets the scary tingly feeling wash over him and give himself in to the strange sensation of dropping. It takes only a few minutes. When he opens his eyes again, he notices immediately that he’s in his mommy’s room. And that he’s naked. The clothes that he picked out earlier lie beside him, so he puts them on and walks out of the room. “Mommy?” He listens but everything is silent. “Daddy?” He calls again but there again is no sound. “Stevie? Mommy!” He gets a bit frustrated and fear creeps up in his gut. “Mommy!” He runs around and looks in every room until there is no room left. A sob wracks through his body. “Mommy?”

“Y/N is currently not able to get you. But Wanda is on her way to get you.” FRIDAY answers with a kind and soft voice. Bucky nods at the ceiling before he sits down on the couch, drawing his legs up to his chest and rocking himself a bit until the door opens. “Buck?” Wanda calls his name and steps into the living room. “Here you are. You okay?” She crouches down in front of him and places her hands on each side of his hips. Bucky nods shakily and leans forward to wrap his arms around Wanda’s neck. She wraps her own around him but stays crouched in front of the couch. “Where’s mommy?”

“Oh.” Wanda swallows the lump in the throat down before she leans back a bit to look at the little boy. “There is something strange with your mommy. Your mommy is not big like you know her, she’s small now, even younger than you.”

“Mommy is small?” Bucky looks at her in confusion but Wanda nods. “Yes. Mommy needed some blood because she got hurt and your daddy gave her some of his. Uncle Bruce helped with that. But you know you and Steve have something that lets you drop, right?” Bucky nods and it’s almost like the time Bucky explained everything to Steve. “Your mommy has it too now and because of that she dropped.”

“So, mommy is not here?”

“Kind of. Your mommy is here. She’s just not mommy now but… your sister. Yours and Stevie’s little sister.” Bucky frowns at Wanda and says nothing. She looks at him for a few seconds before she smiles at him. “Do you want to meet her?” Bucky thinks for a moment. “Does she remember me?” “I- I don’t know. Probably not. I’m sorry, Bucky.” Bucky hums and looks kind of sad, but then he looks up at Wanda and smiles. “I want to see her.” Wanda smiles at him, takes his hand and walks back to the common room with him. Bucky can’t even look around because Sam grabs him and spins him around. He squeals in hysterical laughter. The spinning gets slower and slower until he’s only in Sam arms. Bucky looks around and soon finds his little brother on the ground with a little girl beside him. “Is that mommy?” he points at the girl and Sam turns to look at the two ids too. “Yeah.”

“She’s so small.” Bucky frowns and eyes her closely. “She comes back, right?” Sam looks serious at Bucky and sighs. “I don’t know, buddy. I hope so.”

“And Stevie?”

“Steve is definitely coming back.” But Bucky shakes his head. “Is Stevie okay?” Sam looks confused at him. “Eh, yeah, mostly. He’s confused.” Bucky nods and looks back over to Steve. “And you?” Sam raises an eyebrow and looks at Bucky. The boy turns his head to him and frowns. He doesn't look really happy, but he doesn't look really upset either. “I’m good. Can I go?” Sam nods and lets him down. Bucky doesn't run up to Steve like he usually does but goes to Nat first. He gives her big hug and a kiss, and she laughs. Just after that he walk over to Steve and hugs him from behind, lifting him up and spinning him around. Steve laughs and holds on tight to Bucky’s arms. “Buck!” Steve smiles after he’s safely on the ground and falls his brother around the arms. The brunette smiles and lets himself be dragged from Steve who pulls him over to Y/N. “That is mommy. But now she our sister.” Steve says proudly as if he hadn’t struggled with it beforehand. Bucky nods because he already knows and looks at the little girl. Y/N squeals and holds out her arms for him to get a hug too. And Bucky gives her a bear hug before he settles down and looks at Steve with bright eyes. They all fall back into their play rather quickly.

Nat sits still on the couch and watches them closely. Wanda and Sam say their goodbyes, having still some stuff to do and leave Nat alone with the three kids. She watches as they play with the stuffed animals, how Bucky walks around with Y/N and shows her things and make her giggle. But mostly she watches Steve. He doesn’t look happy anymore. He has a scowl on his face and lightly glares. He doesn’t even walk with Bucky and Y/N but sits on the ground, his sheep tightly wrapped in his arms. At some point, when Bucky helps her to dink some juice, Steve stands up and walks to sit beside Nat. He leans in on her shoulder, holds the sheep and sucks on his thumb. Nat wraps her arm around him and strokes his arm up and down. “You okay?” Steve hums but has his eyes still on Bucky who takes some blankets and pillows from the couches. “Steve. Come on.”

“Don’t like it.”

“What do you not like?”

“Buck.”

“You don’t like Bucky?”

“Stevie! Come. We build a fort!” Bucky calls with a bright smile but the smaller boy hides his face in Nat’s side. He doesn’t see Bucky’s frown. But Nat does. She feels herself sigh and keeps on stroking over Steve’s arm. Bucky tries it some more times over the next two Hours. “Stevie, we build a wall. Help me!”, “Steve, do you want to help with making juice?”, “Come we eat lunch.”, “Do you want to have a bed, too?” Everything gets unheard by Steve. He only lies on the couch and sucks on his thumb until Nat shoves a pacifier in his mouth.

Bucky looks at him, too and frowns. He wants to try to get Steve to play with them a last time. He doesn’t even come to open his mouth. Steve sees him coming, stands up and shoves him away to walk over to the bookshelf and gets a book that he holds out for Nat to read. She frowns at Bucky and Bucky looks sad at Steve before he trudges back to Y/N who sits patiently next to the pillow fort that Bucky had built. Bucky sits there and listens to Y/N’s babbles but doesn't really concentrates on her. He only has eyes for Steve who nestles closer to Nat and listens to the story she reads. Just as Steve is about to fall asleep, he stands up and walks over to his aunt. “Why is Steve not playing with me?” Natasha looks at Steve and then over to Bucky. She pats the space beside her and shares a small look over to Y/N who lies on the floor. Mostly asleep, too. “You know, Stevie was a big brother for a whole day. He liked it very much. I think it’s strange for him that you care for Y/N, too and not only for him.”

“Doesn't he like me anymore?”

“No. I think he likes you very much and because of that he’s confused why you care for Y/N and not for him. He only knows that you do everything for him and thinks that it is his duty to care for Y/N.”

“But that’s not true.”

“No, it isn’t. But Steve doesn't know that.” Bucky frowns again and look over to Steve. He runs his head through Steve’s hair and actually gets him to hum in his half-asleep state. “Aunt Nat? Can we have some snacks?”

“Snack? It’s almost naptime, Bucky.”

“Please?”

“What do you have planned?”

“Aunt Naat.” Bucky whines and bounces a bit on his seat. “Yeah, okay. I’ll look for some.” Bucky smiles and jumps down from the couch and runs over to the bookshelf. HE picks a few picture books and shoves them into the big fort. Then he picks Y/N up and places her on some pillows, right in the middle of it. Just then he runs over to Steve. “Stevie!” Steve opens his eyes to little slits and grumbles but Bucky has already grabbed his hands. He pulls on them and pulls Bucky over to the stuffed animals, shoves them into the blonde’s arms and shoves him over to the fort and pushes him inside. “Buck, stop! I don’t want your dumb pillow fort.” Bucky halters shortly but then ignores Steve and pushes him further inside. He climbs back out himself again and runs over to grab Tony’s fluffy blanket form his armchair and runs back to the fort. He quickly covers Y/N with it and pushes Steve as close to her as he can and covers him with the blanket too. Then he peeks outside of his fort and watches Nat come closer with a small bowl full of some cookies. He quickly takes it and shoves it into a corner of the fort. “Hey, stop. Bucky, can I come in, too?”

“NO! Only for kids!” Nat laughs and strolls back over to the couch where she sits down and waves at Tony and Bruce who come in. They whisper silently but Bucky ignores them. He only hears Tony grumble about his blanket but hears him laugh after Nat explains the situation.

Bucky crawls over to Steve and cuddles up to his back. “Buck, go away.”

“No.” Bucky says and pushes even closer to Steve. The blonde boy squirms a bit but stills after Bucky tightens his hug and covers himself. “I love you Stevie.” He kisses the blonde boy on the cheek and closes his eyes. Steve grumbles a bit but then tightens his own arms around Y/N and grabs one of Bucky’s hand. “Love you, too.”

It doesn't take more than a few minutes for them to fall asleep. They don’t even register Tony who peeks inside with a smile and silently crawls in to lie behind Bucky, his arm thrown over all three of them.