High
Steve had never gotten high. He’d never participated in any kind of drug. Bucky, having been a lot more adventurous, and healthy, than Steve, had done a few of them before he’d left for war. Rose had admitted to them that before Hydra had taken her, when she’d still been in high school, she’d been an avid smoker.
Bucky and Steve had been gone on a mission when she’d caved and visited her dealer. Just enough to get her through the last few days of their expected timeline. She sat at their kitchen table, smoking her second joint, when the elevator opened. Steve and Bucky stepped in, still clad in their uniforms, bloody and dirty, and immediately halted. The filtering system in the tower was the best, there wasn’t even a smell. But Rose was no doubt high. She squealed, dropping her joint, and hurried towards them.
“You’re back early!” She exclaimed, jumping into Bucky’s arms. He caught her, sniffing her hair. Steve frowned.
“You’re high.” He spoke sharply. Rose winced and stepped away, turning to him.
“I’m sorry.” She all but whispered, averting her eyes.
“You’re…high.” Steve spoke again, haltingly. Rose pursed her lips, her buzz fading minutely. “Do you always get high when we leave?” He asked, a little bit hurt. Her mouth opened in horror.
“No!” She exclaimed, waving her hands about. “No, not ever!” She assured.
“Not ever, except for this time.” Steve replied, lips falling into a flat line. Rose took another step back, blinking quickly.
“I just…it’s been a hard week.” She replied in a murmur. Steve pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger and closed his eyes.
“I’m too tired for this right now.” He announced decidedly, brushing past her without even a kiss. Bucky and Rose watched him go before the girl turned to the assassin.
“He’s mad at me.” She sighed miserably. Bucky pursed his lips and leaned forward, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek. He didn’t answer as he brushed past her to follow his lover. Rose turned to see the still-burning joint on the table, and suddenly felt sick. She swept the joint, and the few remaining buds, and hurried to the garbage chute. She dropped them, listening to the whir of the incinerator, and blinked tears from her eyes.
When she went to go to bed, the door was shut. The girl let a few tears slip down her cheeks. When the door was shut, it was a clear message. She wasn’t welcome in their room tonight. She turned towards her room, the one she hadn’t used since the first week she’d lived with them and entered it.
The bed was too big, too cold. She pressed her face into pillows that didn’t smell like her boys and cried herself to sleep.
Rose woke with a headache the next day. She always did, when she cried herself to sleep, which wasn’t a frequent occurrence in her life. She exited the room and shuffled to the kitchen. The boys’ door was still shut, but she could hear soft murmurs. Ignoring them, she went about making a large breakfast and brewing fresh coffee. She assumed it was the smell of bacon that roused them, the door opened and the two shuffled out in pajama pants and shirtless. Rose blushed. No matter how many times she’d seen them without their shirts, it still sent her heart racing.
“I made breakfast.” She offered, sliding two plates and two cups of coffee, made how they liked them, across the bar. The two sat on the stools and took their plates, eating ravenously as if they hadn’t eaten in days.
“This is my favorite part of coming home from a mission. When Rose makes us breakfast.” Bucky moaned, closing his eyes. Steve hummed.
“My favorite part is when we come into our girlfriend high off her ass.” Steve snapped. Rose flinched and looked down. She deserved that.
“Come on, Stevie. It was just some weed.” Bucky replied, reaching out to grip his lover’s shoulder.
“It’s illegal.” Steve commented, causing Bucky to snort loudly.
“Half of the things we do are illegal, pal.” He pointed out. “What’s really bothering you about this?” He questioned knowingly. “You never had any problem when I was doin’ these things in the 30’s.” Rose watched the interaction, lips pursed. Steve turned to look at her, fixing her with a disappointed glare.
“Why’d you do it?” He demanded. Rose inhaled sharply and looked away. She didn’t want them to know. “Rose?” Steve pressed relentlessly.
“Why do I owe you an explanation?” She countered, gritting her teeth. “I felt like it.”
“You haven’t felt like it before.” Steve plowed on.
“You don’t owe us anything, doll. But we’d like to know.” Bucky interrupted, turning to Steve. “Reign it back a bit.” He warned. Steve frowned and averted his gaze in shame.
“I just wanted to!” She shouted, throwing her hands up.
“Why?” Steve growled aggressively. Rose took a step back, eyes wide.
“Why does this bother you so much?” She asked in a shaky voice. Steve had never spoken to her like that. “Is it…do you not love me anymore?” Steve waited a beat too long and Rose’s heart plummeted to her toes. “Oh.” She murmured before rushing past them, slamming the door of her own room.
“Steve!” Bucky hissed, sending a slap at the man. Steve’s eyes widened in horror and he shook his head frantically.
“No! That’s not what I meant!” He exclaimed, reaching up to pull at his hair. “Shit!” He hissed. In this instant, Bucky decided not to snap at him in jest for his language.
“Come on, punk. Let’s fix this.” Bucky abandoned his breakfast and dragged Steve to Rose’s room. His heart broke at the muffled cries coming from inside. “Doll?” He knocked hesitantly on the door. “Can we come in?” He asked permission.
“Fine.” Rose’s wavering voice came. Bucky opened the door, shoving Steve in first and following after, closing the door behind them.
“Rose, that’s not what I meant. I love you so very much.” Steve whispered, frowning. “I just want to know what happened that you decided to smoke.” He stated. Rose emitted a whimper and she looked up.
“You still love me?” She asked shyly. Steve’s chin trembled and he clamored onto the bed, pulling her to him.
“I will never stop loving you.” He assured, fluttering a kiss to her forehead. She still smelled faintly of the drug. “What’s going on with you?” He murmured.
“My therapy session went bad.” She admitted in a choked voice. “And I had a nightmare. And then I couldn’t sleep so I thought the weed would make it better.” She admitted.
“Why did your session go badly?” Bucky asked, perching himself on her bed. She reached out for him and he joined their cuddle pile.
“I snapped at Sara. And then…I had an episode.” She muttered weakly. “I forgot where I was, who I was. I could have killed her.” She let out a shaky breath. “I missed my next appointment. I don’t think I can face her anymore.” She admitted. Bucky frowned.
“Sara’s used to it. She’s my therapist too, remember.” He reminded the girl. “I’ve had a lot of episodes with Sara.” He stated.
“But she was scared, Bucky! I scared her!” Rose wailed. Bucky hushed her, running a hand down the side of her face.
“She’s okay.” He assured her. “What was the nightmare about?”
“Ava.” Rose replied in a short tone. “She just…she’s always there, you know? In my head.” Her twin had been haunting her since she’d watched the life leave her eyes.
“I get it.” Bucky nodded sagely. Steve murmured his agreement.
“It was just a bad week. And you guys were gone. And I wanted to be happy again.” Rose whispered. Bucky closed his eyes and pulled her close. “I’m sorry I upset you.” She glanced at Steve.
“You didn’t, baby.” Steve shook his head. “I love you. I just want you to be okay.”
“I love you too.” The words always sent a thrill through her. “I’ll be okay.