Adoption

Lily was already waiting for them when they arrived at the address she gave them, she was smiling widely and came to greet them as Tony and Steve got out of the car; "Good morning." She said brightly, shaking both of their hands. 

"Morning Lily," Tony said, "How you doing?"

"I'm doing just fine, most importantly, how are you two doing? How we feeling?"

"Nervous," Steve admitted, putting his hand around Tony's waist, "Almost like I can't believe this is happening."

"It's a huge step, but you're ready for this," Lily smiled, "So, I'm going to take you to Mrs Parker's flat but before we meet little Penny she's requested a talk with just to two of you to explain what the situation is, is that okay with you two?"

"Of course."

"Excellent, let's go then." Lily turned around and led them to the apartment block, she pressed the buzzer and requested for Mrs Parker and as they were walking up the stairs it suddenly hit Tony how real this was. He could be meeting his future child right now, if this goes well he will be a dad and he didn't know whether to scream from fear or from excitement but he didn't have time to figure out because they were stopping in front of an apartment and Lily was knocking on the door. A woman around their own age opened the door, her smile was warm but she looked nervous.

"Hello, Mrs Parker," Lily stretched out her hand, "I spoke to you on the phone, my colleague was here the other day?"

"Yes, Henry, he was here, please come in," She opened the door wider and stepped aside to allow them all to walk through, "Sorry for the mess, Pens just loves to play with everything all at once."

"Sounds a lot like me," Tony said, "A million things to do all at once." Mrs Parker laughed at him, Tony felt more at ease.

"Mrs Parker, this is Steve and his husband Tony, we've all agreed to discuss everything before allowing them to meet Penny."

"Please, call me May," She said, shaking Steve and Tony's hands, "It's a pleasure to meet you." 

"It's nice to meet you too." Steve said, May took a step back and ran her fingers through her hair. 

"Oh wow, this is strange, it's not every day you get to say you've had the Stark-Rogers in your home." Her laughter was nervous and her hands were shaking and Tony could sympathise with her, he was terrified and he could only imagine that her fear was ten times worse.

"How about you guys go chat with each other and I can keep Penny entertained? You can come and get me once you've said all that needs to be said and I can come back to talk things through further?" Lily said, her voice was bright and cheery and Tony had to wonder whether she was always like that.

"Yeah, okay, uh... Pens is in their room, you can't miss it... Actually I'll show you," May seemed flustered, "Tony, Steve, um, if you wanna take a seat in the sitting room, I'll come back in, like, five minutes?"

"Of course, take you're time, don't stress, okay?" Steve put a hand on her shoulder and smiled, Tony could almost see some of the tension leave her body; Steve was always good at calming people down. May nodded, her smile small, as she guided Lily out of the room.

Steve and Tony walked over to the couch and sat down, Tony couldn't help but let his eyes look around as they moved from one family photo to another, the little girl was always present and she seemed so bubbly and happy and Tony couldn't be she may be their child. May walked in only a few minutes later and sat in the arm chair besides them, it was quiet for a few moments before she spoke.

"I bet you're wondering why I'm giving Pens up," She said, looking into her lap, "I love her, I do, I really love her."

"From the photos and the way you've spoken about her, we can tell." Tony said, May looked up and smiled but her eyes were full of tears.

"If it was up to me I wouldn't do this, I really wouldn't but she was so young when her parents died and I had help... I had a husband," May wiped her eyes, "He was amazing was Ben, he doted on Pens as if she was our own child but... He was murdered, a year ago."

"I'm so sorry," Steve leant over and rubbed her arm, she held his hand and squeezed it, "I can't begin to imagine how hard that must be."

"It's hard, it's even harder with a child and I can't cope, I want her in my life but I can't be the parent she needs, not right now and I need someone who can be."

"Are you thinking of short term parents and then taking her back because..." Tony was cut off before he could finish talking.

"No, nothing like that, the home she goes to will be the home she stays with... I just want to be Aunt May, she's all I got left but I know if I try and raise her I'm going to screw up, I can't be who she needs me to be."

"I understand, this must have been a difficult choice."

"It was, I've thought about it a lot but I knew I couldn't continue to be who she needs, she needs someone who has time to understand her because I know she's young but she's smart and sure of herself."

"Will you tell us more about her?"

"Of course, she's a bundle off energy and wants to know what everyone is doing, she absorbs knowledge like a sponge," May laughed, squeezing Steve's hand again, "She can light up any room and she's five years old, her birthday is in the summer and she loves being outside, she likes animals and... But, she hates being called Penny."

"What does she prefer?"

"I call her Pens, she keeps mentioning the name... Peter." Tony's eyes widened.

"Oh... Has she spoken about why she likes the name Peter?" He asked.

"She... She doesn't like being a girl, referring to Pens as 'her' is a little weird, I do my best to avoid the things that make her feel more like a girl, they've never outright said they want to be a boy but we've never spoken about it, they've only told me they don't like being a girl in the past six months since my husband died... It's... It's another thing I don't know how to deal with," May said, "I didn't contact the agency wanting to put her up for adoption because of this, Pens is the most important person in my life and if they choose to go down the same route as you Tony then that won't change my opinion on them or my love for them or anything, I just want them to be happy and I can't do that by myself."

"Okay," Tony nodded, "Okay, I understand, it's hard and I understand where you're coming from and I can see how much you love and support them and if we chose to go ahead with this adoption, you'd like it to be open? Right?" May nodded, "Okay."

"Tones?" Tony met Steve's eyes, his smile was nervous but Tony smile widely, "That smile seems promising."

"Do you need time to think?" May asked.

"Do we?" Tony moved closer to Steve, his husband shook his head.

"I think I'd like to meet them, make sure they're okay with us before we decide on anything final but..." Steve shrug, his smile wider and much more sure than before.

"Would you like me to bring Pens in?" May asked, her smile seemed brighter and she seemed happier than when they first started talking.

"Please." Tony said, May nodded and got up and walked out and although Tony felt nervous he was so excited that he was meeting their potential future child.

When Pens bounded down the hall and into the room Tony understood what May meant by the fact they could light up the room. Their smile was bright and they had this excited vibe that made Tony feel excited, there was nothing shy about this first meeting even when Pens got on the sofa and started climbing over Tony and Steve asking so many questions about anything and everything.

Tony realised that Pens must have understood why they were there, they kept asking about their friends and family and what their home looked like. Tony knew that they were making sure that Tony and Steve seemed like good people despite already knowing who they were.

As Tony laid in bed that night he could imagine how their home would feel having a child like Pens running around, but the more he thought the more he realised he didn't want a child like Pens, he wanted them. He wanted to learn everything about them, he wanted to know who they were and who they wanted to be. He wanted to be the dad that his father never was, Tony rolled over to face his sleeping husband, and he wanted all that with Steve.