New Obsession

I wake up, nerves instantly filling my body. I start my internship at the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI today. It’s my last step towards graduating with a master's in criminology.

I walk into the offices at Quantico, my body vibrating with anxiety. I take in the various desks that scatter the main floor. People in suits are moving in all directions. My eyes are drawn to a commanding woman walking up steps. Her gray hair falls around her shoulders gracefully. My breath hitches in my throat at her beauty.

She’s wearing a simple white button-up with wide-legged dress pants. My focus is drawn to her cleavage and for a moment, I get lost in a fantasy. I snap out of it quickly as a blonde woman approaches me. “Hi, are you the new intern?” she asks in a perky voice.

“Yes,” I say with a large grin on my face. “I’m Y/F/N Y/L/N.”

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. I’m Jennifer, but you can call me JJ.”

I smile cordially. “I’m looking for Unit Chief Prentiss’s office.” JJ points at the door straight ahead where I saw the gray-haired woman enter.

“Thanks,” I say with an awkward wave as I make my way to her office. A mix of nerves and butterflies pool in my stomach.

I gently tap on the door and a woman on the other side says, “Come in.” I walk into the office. I notice that there are very few decorations on the walls. The wall behind her desk is covered entirely by a bookcase, filled to the brim. I stare at her for a moment, her dark brown eyes pulling me in.

“Hi, I’m-.”

She interrupts me. “Yes, Y/N. I was expecting you. I’m Emily Prentiss,” she says, extending her hand. I reach out and shake it, sparks shooting up my arm at the warmth of her touch. A slight blush rises on my cheeks. Emily’s eyes drag down my body. When she sees that I notice, she quickly looks away. “So, what’s the focus of your internship?”

“Mostly serial killers. I want to get inside their minds and figure out their thought processes and motivations.”

“Well, you came to the perfect place. The BAU has had a lot of experience with serial killers,” Emily says, sorting files on her desk. “Feel free to ask me any questions. I’m mostly in my office or in the round table room, depending on if we have a case. Obviously, you are not allowed in the field, but I’m willing to allow you to come on our cases and witness the process from the police station.”

“That sounds perfect. Thank you so much. I’m really grateful for this opportunity.”

Emily’s eyes linger on my hands as I fiddle with them out of anxiety. The image of her spread wide on top of the desk with me two fingers deep into her flashes across my mind. I clear my throat, attempting to get back to the matter at hand. “Ok, well we have a case so let me introduce you to the team.” I follow Emily out to the office and into a room filled with a large TV and a round table. “Y/N, this is JJ, but I believe you two have already met.” I nod and give a slight wave to the blonde sitting in a chair around the table. “That is Luke Alvez, Dr. Tara Lewis, Penelope Garcia, and David Rossi.”

“Nice to meet everybody.”

“It's so nice to meet you, beautiful sugar cup,” Garcia says. Her colorful outfit stands out against the bland room.

The team shares the details of the case, gory images flashing on the screen. The images don’t bother me; I’m rather intrigued. “Wheels up,” Emily says. The team gathers their files and grabs their go bags from their desks. I panic, having not brought a go bag. I didn’t expect to be leaving for a case so soon. Emily notices my panic. “I have extra clothes in my bag. We can share.”

Blush coats my face at the thought of wearing her clothes. “Thank you.”

“Come on. Stick with me the whole time so you don’t get too overwhelmed.” Emily sticks her hand out behind her back. I grab onto it as she leads me to the jet. Her hands are warm and smooth. As we load into the jet, I’m impressed by the luxury of it. I’ve never been on a private jet before. I take a seat beside Emily as the team fills the jet. “This case looks like it could get pretty rough so try to get some shut-eye,” Emily instructs.

I’m practically vibrating with excitement and nerves. There’s no way I’m going to be able to sleep in this new environment. Emily looks through the file again, trying to pick up as much information as possible. “How does one profile?” I ask curiously.

“Try to profile me.”

“What? I don’t even really know how to profile.”

“Just try it, Y/N. I won’t judge if you get anything wrong,” Emily says with a slight giggle.

“Ok….” my eyes search hers, on a quest for information. “Obviously, you are very smart and good at what you do. You don’t need a profile to see how much the team admires you and trusts you completely.” She smiles. “However, you find it hard to believe that they actually would look up to you. You have a deep-seated insecurity; you don’t let it show often.”

“And what might that insecurity be?”

I stare at her, thinking of all the interactions I had with her so far to build a profile. “Confidence. You portray it, but in reality, you lack it.”

“Yeah, I can agree with that. That’s all thanks to my mother,” Emily jokes, trying to lighten the mood. “Do you have anything else?”

“Umm…you’ve had girlfriends come and go, but your job is too demanding for most relationships and they left because of that.”

“Actually, all my friends are on the team so work never really gets in the way.”

“No, I mean girlfriends, like dating…relationships.”

A deep red blush appears on Emily’s face. She looks away, unable to make eye contact. “Oh no, I’m straight,” she whispers.

I study the way she is sitting with her legs spread wide and her arm resting on the back of the seat. I glance at her with my head tilted. I won’t argue with her about her sexuality, but everything about her right now is screaming homosexual. “Ok, my bad. I told you I don’t know how to profile.”

Emily relaxes again, glad I dismissed it. I make a mental note to avoid further discussion of sexuality.

The case drags on, the majority of the team staying up all hours to catch the unsub. Thanks to Garcia’s handiwork the unsub was caught after a four-day killing spree.

The team boards the jet home, exhaustion plaguing us. I toss and turn in my seat searching for sleep but I’m unable to find it. “Can’t sleep?” Emily asks, laying down on the couch.

“Yep, you too?”

“I keep playing the conversation we had on our way out of here.” My heart skips a beat wondering what she’s about to say. She looks around the jet, noticing that the rest of the team is asleep. “I just--I just never had time to deal with it because of how busy my work is. It's easier that way. It doesn’t complicate things.” I stare at her with a questioning look and she lowers her voice to say, “My sexuality.”

“Are you saying you don’t know what you are?”

She stares at me for a long time. Part of me wonders if I said something to offend her. After a minute she says, “I know. In my gut, I’ve always known.” She glances around the jet again, on edge with her confession. I don’t know why she’s so worried. The team is good enough to profile that she is queer in some way. I mean, it was so obvious to me and I’m not a profiler. Well, the fact that I’m gay definitely helps.

“It’s ok to be gay, Emily. It’s the 21st century. I’ve been out since I was 16,” I say, trying to encourage her to be herself.

“You don’t understand. I can’t be gay. I’ve had a hard enough time being a female Unit Chief in the FBI. It would be basically impossible to be lesbian too,” Emily says with a single tear drifting down her cheek. I brush my hand along her arm in sympathy. She looks me deep in my eyes, searching for something unknown. “I don’t know what I am anymore. I’ve pushed it down for so long I just don’t know.”

I wipe her tears away with my thumb. I lean in towards her. “Maybe this could help.” Emily’s breath hitches in her throat and I stop, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. She leans in the rest of the way, her lips a whisper on mine.

Our lips meet and goosebumps spread across my body. I place my hand on her cheek, deepening the kiss. The sound of someone shifting on the couch makes her pull away quickly. She walks to the bathroom, her hands visibly shaking.

I stay on the couch, unable to move. Shock and regret fill me, a tightness growing in my chest. I shouldn’t have done that. She’s my boss. She’s not sure of her sexuality. This was a terrible choice. I spiral as I sit, waiting anxiously for Emily to appear again. I start to craft my apology in my head.

After quite some time, Emily steps out of the bathroom, her eyes red. She sits on the far side of the plane, barely glancing at me. I stare at her, hoping she will look at me. I’m consumed by my guilt and I just want her to know how sorry I am.

Finally, she looks my way, obvious shame on her face. “I’m sorry,” I mouth silently, sure not to disturb the sleeping team.

“Later,” Emily mouths back, sadness evident in her eyes. My heart breaks looking at her. I’m all too familiar with the feeling of uncertainty regarding sexuality. I know exactly what she’s going through and I can’t help but feel for her. I feel like I made the situation worse. I just want to explain everything to her and make her feel better. I haven’t known Emily for long, yet I feel the intense need to take care of her.

Rossi stirs on the couch, waking up from his nap. He glances around the jet, his eyes first landing on Emily and then scanning their way over to me, a confused look on his face. Looking at me, he sits up and pats the couch, beckoning for me to come over. I walk over to him, noticing Emily looking my way. “Hi bella,” Rossi says in a hushed tone. “We haven’t really had a chance to talk since the case. How are you doing?”

“I’m doing good,” I say, feigning a smile.

“Don’t do that to a profiler, Y/N. I know you know better than that.” I look at him like I’m clueless, not wanting to talk about anything that happened with Emily before I talk to her. Rossi looks over at Emily and then brings his focus back to me. “She just needs reassurance. She doesn’t let many people in. Show her that she can trust you.”

I stare at Emily as she bites her nails, clearly riddled with anxiety from everything that just happened. “Thank you,” I say. A hint of embarrassment floods my cheeks, but deep down, I know I can trust Rossi. After all, he has Emily’s best interest at heart.

“It was just all so overwhelming. It brought back all the feelings I repressed for so long. And it made me realize what I’ve been missing,” Emily says to me in her office. She pulled me into her office once we got back, not wanting to leave our issues unresolved.

“I’m sorry. I never wanted to make you uncomfortable or in a difficult position. I know there are protocols and stuff. Let’s just forget it ever happened.”

“I don’t want to do that,” Emily says, biting her lip, distracting me for a moment.

“Why?” I ask with a puzzled expression.

“Because it was incredible,” Emily whispers with a smile on her face. Heat rises in my cheeks. “I just—obviously nothing can happen between us. Not until your internship is over. I just want to make sure that’s clear.”

Hope fills my chest at the thought of something happening between us. “Yes, yes of course.”

“And I don’t want you to get hope about anything either.” My face drops slightly. “I have a lot of work to do on my own. I have to figure out my shit.”

I nod my head and say, “I totally understand. And if you need help or just someone to talk to, I’m here.”

“Thank you, Y/N. I appreciate it, but for now, I’m gonna need space.”

I smile at her as I walk out of her office. Giving her space will take all my willpower, but I hope it’s worth it. Even just getting her to figure out her sexuality will make it worth it. I’m overcome by the desire to make her happy, even if that means I’m sacrificing my happiness. I’ve never felt such a pull to a person and the need to protect them. I’ve only known Emily for a short time, but I feel like I’ve known her for much longer.

The week drags on, full of paperwork and two brutal cases. I’ve been keeping my distance from Emily, only working with her when I have to and keeping our conversations work related. It takes all my strength to maintain my professional composure. Every time I look at her I think about how soft her lips were on mine, the feeling of her beautiful gray hair threading through my fingers. My whole body is filled with want at just the sight of her. When she looks my way I find myself distracted by my fantasies.

“Y/N,” JJ says, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“Yes?”

“Prentiss would like to see you in her office.” My heart starts to race, my thoughts filling with all the possible things I could have done wrong. I slowly approach her office, anxiety overtaking me. I knock lightly on the door, waiting for a response.

“Come in,” Emily says in that beautiful voice of hers. I open the door cautiously. “Y/N, thank you for coming.”

“What can I do for you, Prentiss?” I ask formally.

“I’m ready to talk about the jet,” Emily says, her face softening.

“Oh, ok.” I take a seat on one of the chairs in front of her desk. She walks around her desk and sits beside me.

“I’m sorry I made this so difficult. I’m not really good with expressing my feelings and seeing you brought up so many I wasn’t ready to confront.” I rest my hand on her thigh, comforting her as she continues to talk. “I’m a lesbian,” she confesses, taking a deep breath. I squeeze her thigh lightly.

“So am I,” I say with a proud smile.

“I remember always being hyper-aware around my friends when I was younger. Always stiffening up if they played with my hair or touched me. I remember with a few of my friends how I would constantly think that I was so lucky they chose to be friends with me. Looking back now it seems so obvious but I was so deep in denial. I just couldn’t confront it at all. My mom was always so focused on creating this perfect life. I had to fit exactly what she wanted which left no room to question myself.”

Emily stares off, deep in thought. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.” Emily turns to me, something indiscernible in her eyes. Without saying anything, she leans in, lightly pressing her lips to mine. I shudder at the warmth of her hand as she runs it up my arm.

She pulls away quickly, not giving in to her desires. “There are so many reasons we shouldn’t be doing this. I’m so much older than you, you’re an intern for me. But there’s just something about you that I can resist. You make me feel like all of the hurt in my past doesn’t matter. You make me feel like myself. And I’ve never felt that before. But we can’t.” Tears start to well up in my eyes. “We have to wait until your internship is over and even then we have to take it slow. I’ve—I’ve never done anything like this before.”

I nod, completely understanding where she’s coming from. “I feel the same way. And I’ll wait for you, however long you need.”

Emily smiles gratefully. She leans in and wraps her arms around me, embracing me in a strong hug. I lean into her shoulder. Her hair smells of vanilla and lavender. I inhale deeply, savoring her scent.

I walk out of her office feeling refreshed. I’m glad that she opened up to me. And I’m glad I could help her in that aspect.

My phone rings, startling me. I glance over at my clock and see that it’s 10 pm. “Hi Emily,” I say, answering the phone in a slightly flirtatious tone. We have been getting closer over the past few weeks, although there has been no romantic interaction between us.

“Come here.”

“Emily, have you been drinking?”

“I’ve only had one glass of wine. And I want you here. Please.”

“Well since you were so polite,” I say with a laugh. “But drink some water. I’ll be there shortly.” There is no way in hell that I would turn her down.

I knock on her door and she opens it almost instantly. Emily is dressed in a low-cut white T-shirt, my eyes are drawn to her cleavage. I look up and there’s a smirk on Emily’s face along with a lustful gleam in her eyes.

Emily leans in and wraps her arms around my waist, pulling me flush against her body. She takes my lips in hers, the kiss full of need. “I thought we were supposed to wait,” I say, pulling back momentarily.

She presses her lips to mine, this time more intense and passionate. “I can’t wait anymore. I need you, Y/N,” Emily says, breathless from our kiss.

I meet her kiss with as much passion and intensity as her, getting lost in the softness of her lips and the heat radiating off her body. A whimper escapes my mouth, encouraging Emily. She pushes me up against the wall, putting her thigh between my slightly spread legs. I moan as I start to grind, the friction between our jeans shooting right to my core.

I pull Emily’s shirt off, revealing a red lacy bra that makes my breath hitch in my throat. My thumbs trace over her budding nipples through the thin material. Emily leans into me, her lips parted. I bend down and take a nipple in my mouth, sucking and nipping, as Emily pants.

Taking back control, I lead Emily over to the couch. I sit down and start to pull her pants down. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Emily says hungrily and she pulls my pants off. She takes off her matching bra and panties set, leaving her standing naked in front of me. My jaw drops at her beauty. I use my hand to trace her natural curves, hypnotized by her beauty.

Below a neatly trimmed patch of hair, her arousal glistens in the light. I lick my lips in anticipation. Emily takes a seat on my lap, wrapping her arms around my shoulders in another bruising kiss. Electricity crackles down my entire body. The anticipation of this day alone is enough to get me off. I’m suddenly aware of the uncomfortable wetness of my panties. I lean up, quickly slipping them over my hips and down to my ankles.

Emily runs her fingers through my slit. “Fuck, you’re so wet, Y/N.” I blush with embarrassment. She has barely touched me, but I’m already dripping.

“All for you, Emily,” I say, biting at her neck, surely leaving marks that she will have to cover tomorrow. Emily starts to grind into my thigh. I take in the sight of her naked body on mine. I feel Emily’s slick glide across my thigh, her head thrown back in silent pleasure. “Use me. Use me to cum,” I whisper in her ear. Her pace increases as a moan falls from her lips.

I lick a bead of sweat that travels down her neck. I’m intoxicated by her. The feel of her gliding across my thigh is heavenly. This is what pleasure is supposed to feel like, I think to myself. “I’m close,” Emily mumbles through moans.

“Cum for me, baby.” At my words, Emily stiffens. She squeezes my shoulder, digging in with her nails. The sting adds to my pleasure. Her body starts to tremble as her orgasm takes over. She pants and moans as she rides it out, completely overcome with pleasure. She stills, catching her breath for a moment. I stare at her, taking in her every feature. This woman is pure perfection and I can’t get enough.

“Your turn,” she says, dropping to her knees in front of me. At the sight, I clench around nothing.

“Fuck, Emily. You don’t have to do that.”

“I know. I want to,” she says as she spreads my legs open. She licks a hesitant stripe through my slit and I jerk towards her, searching for more friction. “I’ve never done this before,” Emily confesses.

I moan as she circles her tongue around my throbbing clit. “I–I would have never known,” I struggle to get out between whimpers. The flat of her tongue brushes my entrance. She is giving just enough pressure to torture me on the edge. “Emily, more. I need to cum. Please,” I beg.

Emily quickens her pace, focusing her tongue on my clit. She slides two fingers into me, my pussy sucking them in, desperate to cum. “God, you’re so tight.” I watch intently as Emily places her heel under her core, gently grinding into it.

“Fuck, I’m close.” I clench around Emily’s fingers, reveling in the feeling of her being inside of me. She increases the pressure on my clit and my orgasm consumes me. I shake, holding onto her shoulders for balance. She continues to lick me, extending my pleasure.

“God, that was so fucking good,” I say after catching my breath. Emily sits on my lap again, pulling me into a kiss. I moan at the taste of myself on her lips.

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” Emily whispers.

“Then why didn’t you do it sooner?” I ask teasingly.

“I was stupid,” Emily says, pulling me into another bruising kiss. I pull her closer to me by her waist. She can’t possibly be close enough to me. I want to be one with her. She is my new obsession. My new lifeline. Emily sighs contently into my shoulder. “Let’s go to the bedroom.”

Emily drags me by my hand, a sinful look in her eyes. I flop onto the bed, my legs still weak. She reaches into her bedside table and pulls out a pink vibrator. She turns it on the lowest setting and presses it lightly to my clit. I shudder, still sensitive. “I want to watch you squirm,” Emily demands, with an evil smirk.

“Fuck,” I moan. She wraps her lips around a nipple, still holding the vibrator in place. I moan as she nips at my swollen bud. “I’m already close.” She increases the pressure slightly, leaning back to take in my naked body, covered with sweat and filled with need. Without warning, my orgasm rips through me. My entire body shakes on the bed, Emily watching with a devilish grin.

“God, you are just incredible. I could do this all day.” I don’t respond, too out of breath, my thoughts incoherent.

After a moment, I string my thoughts together. “Just wait until I get my strap-on.”

“Is that a threat?”

“No, it’s a promise,” I say in a teasing tone. The thought of Emily at the other side of my strap-on fills my head and I bite my lip in anticipation.

“Good,” Emily whispers as she kisses me again. This time the kiss is soft and I melt into her touch.

Finally, I think to myself, she is mine.