Jump
"What in the fuck, Tony?" Rhodey sighed.
"I know, I know." Tony groaned.
"Do you?"
"Yes."
"You've had a lot of issues in the past. Drinking. Sleeping around. Being a workaholic. Constantly making enemies. But this. This has to be your worst one of all time."
"Loki is a person; not a thing."
"I know that but your relationship with him is not."
Tony rubbed his temples. He has heard this conversation so many times now. But Rhodey was coming from the bottom of his heart. He was worried about Tony.
"Listen, I get it. Life fucked you guys up." Rhodey started his lecture. "And several curveballs got tossed at you."
"And one massive cancer..." Tony muttered.
"You mean two."
"Rest in peace, Foster."
"But it was terrible when Loki went into the depression. Then it got bad when...Magni died. And Tony, I know you're tired of hearing it but this isn't right. It definitely isn't healthy. But I might actually have to kill you."
"What for?"
"Don't be fucking stupid. You know why."
Tony frowned. He knew what Rhodey was getting at. The proposal. Tony wasn't sure what hurt more; how even he knew it was wrong or the fact Loki just left as soon as Tony was done talking.
"Rhodey, I love him." Tony sighed.
"I know, Tony. I really do." Rhodey nodded. "But this is going down a wrong and familiar path."
"You know me."
"I know but I also know you lived your dad's life for a long time."
"I broke the cycle though."
"Then you fell back into it because it was a familiar place in your darkest time."
"I never hit Loki. I never hit Sigrid. I never broke things. I never screamed in Sigrid's face. But Magnus scares me. Not because he's a baby or anything but because he's my son. And I did not have a good role model in the father department. I know what I did. God, I'm going to live with it the rest of my life like Barnes said. But I just need to break the cycle. I don't care if Sigrid will hate me for the rest of my life. I spent my whole life being angry at my dad. I just..."
"Tony, I know Loki loves you. If it was truly up to him, you know he'd never leave. Even now, the thought of it scares him to death. I know you are sleeping with him again. You guys may have hidden it well but I've known you a long ass time. I'm proud of your recovery. I really am. You're sober again. But Loki. It's like he's your greatest addiction and you were doing great. But not that much has changed. And something needs to improve."
+
Tony sat in his living room alone. Rhodey went home because he had duty in the morning. He was thinking long and hard about what Rhodey said to him. Really, he was thinking of what everyone has said to him. He knew he should have never brought up the proposal to Loki. They both still had a long way to go. And he hated that Barnes was right. This was never going to leave him. Even when things were better, Tony was always going to remember himself as a rapist. His thoughts disappeared when he heard a knock at his door. He arched an eyebrow.
He stood up and opened the door. He sighed. It was Loki.
"We need to talk." Loki looked like he was crying.
"I agree." Tony choked.