A squire to the dark prince
Chapter 31: A squire to the dark prince
You didn’t see much of prince Loki after the rite of passage and when you did, he was rather cold and distant. You didn’t understand why he was being like this, but then again you hardly ever knew what was going on inside his head. It didn’t matter really, for you were too distracted with your work at the archives to think about anything else. The book you were copying wasn’t getting any more interesting the more you read about it, but at least Asgard would soon have their own copy of the records on the Silverwood available in the library for prosperity. It was a week after the rite of passage and even tough your friendship with prince Frey had ended on a bad note, he had send you a letter which still laid unopened in the top drawer of your desk. It was when you found yourself copying your book, that prince Loki descended the stairs with an agitated Egil following after him.
“What is the meaning of this?” Lord Blekk asked as he shot out of his chair by his writing desk.
“Good morning to you too, Blekk.” Prince Loki said with his trademark smirk that you hadn’t seen for a while now. Lord Blekk didn’t say anything to the prince’s words even though it was clear prince Loki had intended him to respond to it in some way. He and lord Blekk simply stared at one another with such intensity for a few uncomfortable moments before prince Loki gave a short laugh. “Very well, I have come to collect your help.” You felt yourself suck in a breath before you even knew you had done anything. Lord Blekk must have heard you do so for he snapped his head to glare at you.
“Whatever for?” Lord Blekk eventually asked prince Loki as he turned his head to him once more.
“Where to begin?” Prince Loki started as he walked over to your desk to sit himself down upon it. “You see, your little help has a problem with authority, it would seem. When my dearest brother, the crown prince, demanded for everyone to not stray from the camping ground, she decided to go against his expressive order.” Lord Blekk’s head snapped back to you and the way his eyes burned with such anger made you cower. “When I found out about her little adventure, I saw it as my duty to have her punished.” Prince Loki then paused and grabbed the apple you had placed next to your pot of ink, to eat later when you would take a break from your copying. He rubbed it on the cloth of his shirt before taking a bite.
“Punish her how?” Lord Blekk asked after a few minutes in which prince Loki did nothing more than chew, take another bite and chew that down as well before repeating the process all over again.
“I made her my squire.” Both Lord Blekk and Egil flinched at his words before they looked at you as if they were asking you with their eyes if any of this had any truth to it and above all, why you hadn’t told them any of this. “It was most amusing to me for the time it lasted. You see, I had planned on releasing her from her duties to me when we returned to Asgard, but now that my real squire has gone, you must forgive me for stealing her away from your side.” He didn’t seem very sorry about it. In fact he seemed rather pleased with himself which only angered you more. You knew he was bound to do this, given that you had agreed to let him teach you in the guise of serving him as a punishment, but never would you have thought that he would use Forni’s death to accomplish your plan. It was disgusting to say the least and absolutely uncalled for. He’s known as a man with a silvertongue! Surely he could have come up with a better excuse than Forni’s death?
“She’s needed here.” You heard lord Blekks say after a while.
“Yes, I’m sure you will all miss her dearly.” The smug air he had about him only a moment ago, disappeared in an instant as he glared at Egil with hard and icy eyes. “You will have her back as soon as I find a suitable replacement.” That shocked Lord Blekk, Egil and you. This wasn’t what you had agreed upon! You were only supposed to go to him thrice a week or every other week, but now he was making you stay for however long he pleased! “You’re awfully quiet, Blekk. Have you heard what I said or should I write it down?”
“There is no reason to be rude.” For a split second you were confused as to who had spoken, until you realised all eyes were fixed on you. You were searching your mind for words to say, when prince Loki beat you to it as he began to laugh.
“You see what I mean when I say she has a problem with authority?” You pressed your lips together, not wishing to let any words escape your mouth that were burning on your tongue. “Come, girl. It is time I teach you some manners.” Your chest was heaving with anger, but there was nothing you could do to stop him. That was until a thought came to you. Instead of following prince Loki’s order, you turned your eyes to lord Blekk.
“Am I excused for the day, my lord?” In the corner of your eye, you saw Loki’s smirk fade into a thin line. Lord Blekk seemed to be a little taken aback by your question as his eyes kept darting between you and the prince.
“Yes. You are excused for however long it takes, but as soon as you are relieved of your other duties, you will come straight back to me, understand?”
“Yes, my lord.” You then gave lord Blekk a curtsy, something you hadn’t done in a long while, and only then did you turn to prince Loki to follow him out. He huffed at you, but said or did nothing else, as he brushed passed you to ascend the stairs and leave the archives behind him. You only followed behind him after you had given both lord Blekk and Egil a pleading and remorseful look. Once you had reached the top of the stairs and found prince Loki leaning against the wall, waiting for you, you followed his long strides in silence all the way to his chambers.
“Make yourself at home.” He told you with as much amusement as a dead worm. You couldn’t take this anymore, so once he had shut the door of his reception room, you pretty much exploded.
“What in the nine was that?!”
“I beg your pardon?” You were even too angry to roll your eyes.
“You don’t speak to me for days and all of a sudden you appear at the archives and demand lord Blekk to give me to you as your squire, because your old one is gone?! How dare you?!”
“Oh, yes, I forgot how much you wish to remain with your books and trinkets!” He hissed in your face.
“What on Asgard are you talking about?!” All it took was one step for him to pin you against the wall.
“What is the real reason you wanted to stay there?”
“I told you-“
“No! It was because of that boy, wasn’t it?” You were absolutely sure that prince Loki had gone mad by this point.
“What boy? Forni?”
“Forget about Forni for one bloody minute! It’s Egil! Fandral’s brother! I saw how he held you in his arms, how he never let go of your hand!”
“What exactly are you accusing me of? For seeking comfort at a sad occasion?”
“You should have come to me!” He snarled at you.
“You told me you couldn’t stay with me! You left me on my own! So don’t you dare accuse me of finding comfort elsewhere!”
“Why can’t you admit it?”
“Admit what?!”
“That you are affiliated with him!” Yes, prince Loki had truly lost his mind.
“What are you talking about? Why are we even having this conversation? Egil has nothing to do with any of this. What matters is that you used Forni’s death as an excuse to trap me here with you.”
“Why does it even matter?”
“Why?” Even though your whole body was trembling with anger, your voice sounded broken. “Forni died because of me, Loki and I can’t…” You couldn’t finish that sentence nor were you even sure what you would have said. All strength seemed to have left your body as sob after sob broke free from your throat.
“Ssh, it’s alright.” You heard Loki whisper as his arms came around you to hold you close. “Let’s stop our strife.” He said softly and then slightly pulled you out of his embrace to look at you. “Listen to me. You are not at fault here. You couldn’t have known about the saddle, Svinnr.”
“But he’s still dead, Loki.”
“I knew you were going to be hurting. That’s why I thought it best to keep it from you.”
“I would be angrier with you if you had done so.” Loki’s arms came back around you as he stroked your back soothingly.
“I don’t want to anger you, little spitfire, but the thought of you having secrets for me, …. Just tell me the truth.”
“I have no secrets, Loki. Not for you.” You whispered and you felt his arms tighten around you.
“Good.” He whispered back and then let go of you completely apart from your hand that he kept clutched in his. He tugged on it to take you to a green, comfortable coach where he urged you to sit with him. “Forni’s death was awful and I know it was heartless of me to use it to get you here with me, but I have become so used to your presence. However annoying you are, you have become… indispensable in a way. I need you by my side, Svinnr.”
“You could have just told me that, you know? I had already agreed on you teaching me seidr, didn’t I? I need you to trust me, Loki and if something is bothering you, you should tell me. If I am not to have any secrets from you, then the same applies to you.” Prince Loki flinched and lowered his eyes to stare at your intertwined hands.
“No secrets?” He asked after a while and you were surprised at the sad tone you could hear sounding through his voice.
“No secrets.” You repeated and squeezed his hand for good measure. He seemed to be struggling as his eyes kept staring at your hands while his thumb stroked over your knuckles. You had never seen Loki like this, as a beaten dog left by the very people who were supposed to love him. “You don’t have to tell me now if you don’t feel ready yet. Just know that I will be here for you, will offer no judgement and will listen to every word you wish to tell me.” The look he gave you when he lifted his eyes to meet yours, broke your heart. He looked so small and vulnerable. Everything prince Loki was not, or at least, what the whole world thought he never was.
“Thank you.” He whispered and you had never heard so much emotion coming from so little words. You nodded your head and this time, it was you who brought your arms around him to hold him close. He laid his head onto your chest and inhaled deeply while he closed his eyes. Nothing else was said.
You didn’t know when you had fallen asleep nor how you had gotten under the soft covers of a bed without waking up, but you did quickly find out that you were in a bedroom that was larger in size than the house you had grown up in back on Vanaheim. You sat up in the bed, resting your back against the wooden headboard before you rubbed your eyes. Once the blurriness of your vision had gone, you could see that the room was decorated in green, gold and black. Prince Loki’s colours. You had been awed by lord Blekk’s apartments before, but this bedroom was clearly made for someone with royal blood. Tapestries hung on the walls, but instead of them showcasing the art of hunting, they made the room look as if it were in the middle of a mystical forest. No show of strength, no gory scenes of creatures getting slaughtered by spears, arrows or swords and no signs of vanity as the prince was clearly missing in all of them. They made the room feel so serene as if nothing could ever disturb the calmness. You stretched your limbs and hopped out of bed, only then realising that prince Loki’s bed was carved out of a golden long ship that nearly took up the entirety of the room.
“Look who has finally decided to wake up.” You heard a voice speak that you were all too familiar with. Prince Loki was leaning against the open doorframe as he regarded you with his trademark smirk. “I must say, dear, that you are by far the worst squire I have ever had.” You couldn’t help but grin at that.
“It’s not my fault my liege has forgotten that he needs to give his subjects commands in order for them to perform admirably.” He laughed loudly at that.
“Oh, how amusing it would be to see the entire Asgardian population watch you banter with me so carelessly, while they cower in fear at the mere thought of me.”
“Yes, well, they don’t know you like I know you, for if they did, they would all be happy to be in your presence.” Prince Loki snorted at that as he came closer to stand in front of you. The way he was looking you up and down in such a slow pace, made you slightly uncomfortable, so you cleared your throat and spoke again. “Do all the Asgardian royals sleep in a golden long ship?” As soon as the first letter had come out of your mouth, his eyes had stopped roving over your body as they locked with your own.
“My mother used to tell me a story when I was a mere boy, of a man who used a long ship to sail his way over a sea of dreams every night as he followed a bright light to guide him back home.”
“And so you made your very own long ship to sail over a sea of dreams every night?” Prince Loki gave you a smile and nodded softly. “I like that idea.”
“Well, now that you have judged my bedroom as likeable, I wish for you to begin your duties as my squire.” You couldn’t help but gulp as anxiety filled you up inside. Prince Loki seemed to read the sudden change of a carefree expression to one that was guarded and apprehensive as he grabbed hold of your hands and gave a squeeze.
“Don’t worry, my dear, I won’t be too hard on you. I simply wish you to stay by my side while I attend to my own duties as prince.” That seemed to calm you down a little as you let out a sigh. Then you raised an eyebrow in confusion. “What has you frowning so?” Prince Loki asked and you felt your cheeks redden at the mere thought of the question you were about to ask him.
“Forgive me, my prince, but what exactly do you do?” He seemed taken aback by your question, so you rushed to explain yourself further before he could feel offended. “I mean to say that I don’t really know what your duties as a prince entail.”
“Well, let me enlighten you then, darling. As a prince I attend lessons with several trusted lords and ladies on various subjects such as history, politics and math. As you are well aware of, I am also a wielder of seidr and therefor receive extra lessons to hone my talents. I am obligated to train in combat twice or even thrice a week with Thor and the warriors three. It is also expected of me to train the einherjar to become warriors themselves. I attend council meetings with both my brother and father and hold court whenever my father, mother and brother are otherwise occupied. Furthermore I am in charge of handling several disputes amongst the people whether they are common folk or of noble blood. Does this satisfy your curiosity?” You had to admit that you had not expected prince Loki to have so many duties or things to do.
You were a bit jealous, however, on the many lessons he received, given that you never had an education nor many of the people you had lived with at your village. “Now that we are on the subject of duties, do you wish to know what I expect of you?” You nodded your head. “I wish for you to handle my messages as I send them out to various people. I want you to bring them to the right people, so I suggest you learn a map of the palace for I am sure you’ll need it. I want you to accompany me to feasts, gatherings and dinner and serve me my wine. I want you to keep your eyes open to everything that happens around you and everyone you meet. Furthermore I expect you to keep my armour clean and in order by oiling the leather, changing the metal if you find rust and sharpening my daggers. I also want you to attend the lessons with me.” You breath hitched at that last statement. He was allowing you to learn? “Don’t get too excited, Svinnr. I want you to attend lessons with me, but you cannot say or do anything, understand?” You nodded your head quickly to indicated that you understood. “Let’s put that to the test, shall we. You have exactly five minutes to freshen up before I leave.” He said and you quickly shot towards his bathroom to wash your face and braid your hair. Once you were done you started your quest to find the location of your slippers which were apparently left by the bed. Before prince Loki’s five minutes had ran out, you were presentable and ready to go to his lessons.
“What lesson are we attending?” You asked him as you followed him down the corridor.
“Theories of war.” You furrowed your brow, not expecting your very first lesson to be so gruesome. “It’s not what you think it to be, little spitfire. Theories of war is about finding the perfect strategy in order to win or better yet, how to avoid a war all together.”
“That actually sounds very interesting.” You told him honestly as your excitement to learn grew even more.
“It is, but as I told you, you are not permitted to speak or do anything unless I tell you so.”
“I understand.” You then walked on in silence until Loki halted in front of a wooden door that was inlayed with iron. The door creaked loudly as Loki pushed it open to reveal a brightly lit room that resembled a wine cellar as the ceiling was low with stone arches.
“You’re late.” A raspy voice said as a lean man with a pink scar across his cheek stepped away from his desk.
“Apologies, master Týr.” Loki said as he approached a bench to sit down on. You didn’t really know what to do. Follow him and sit down next to him or simply remain standing as far away as possible? “Come here, girl.” Prince Loki eventually said, sounding irritated. You approached his bench and he pulled you down to sit next to him.
“Who might this be, Loki?” Master Týr asked and to your utter surprise you could now see that he was missing half of his right arm!
“My new temporary squire.” Master Týr’s eyebrows raised in confusion.
“Why did you bring her? You and Thor never take your squires to my lessons.”
“As I am sure you just witnessed, she has still a lot to learn. I thought it best to keep her by my side so she can educate herself on what is expected of her.”
“Well, as long as she does not disturb my lesson, I will allow her presence.”
“That’s very much appreciated. Thank you, master Týr.” You didn’t say anything, but for some reason you were convinced that you were definitely not going to get along with this master Týr as he started to give out various ancient battles and asked what went wrong with each of them.