Trusting the god of mischief
Chapter 15: Trusting the god of mischief
With the group of maids all punished, you felt a little safer regarding possible attacks, but it changed nothing for the anxiety you still felt. Prince Loki knew and that kept plaguing your mind. As soon as the trial was over and you were escorted back to your chambers and left alone, the sobbing began. How did he even find out? You had been so careful not to show anything, even refrained from using it when you were attacked in the corridor, but still he found out. You had no idea what to do now. It wasn’t as if you could escape your room and make a run for it, get your family and find some place safe. You were still in bed with a stupid fractured leg, broken ribs, a broken arm and a smashed-in eye socket.
They were healing fine and soon you would be able to walk around freely again, but would that be soon enough? There was nowhere to run and you knew that too. You were angry, angry beyond measure at the prince and more so at yourself, but for some reason the emotion that was the strongest was that of raw hurt. You felt utterly betrayed and you didn’t understand why you were feeling so. It wasn’t as if prince Loki and you had been friends, but for what it was worth, you had felt relatively safe with him for a while. You had tried to be scared of him, especially after everyone had warned you of him, but for some reason he had never given you a reason to really mistrust him, but now you just felt like an absolute fool.
He didn’t save you that day, because he was being chivalrous, no, it simply was his duty as a prince to protect his people. Those dances at the wedding also meant nothing. If you even recalled correctly he had demanded it of you, rather than ask you. Prince Frey had been right about that. Then there was the rivalry between prince Loki and prince Frey and you didn’t even want to know what prince Loki’s motives for that were. It all came to the same conclusion, once again you hadn’t listened to anyone and got hurt. You felt tears welling up in your eyes again and the first sob broke loose when the door opened and there he stood, the man of your nightmares, prince Loki.
“You’re sad.” He simply stated with his cold voice and you couldn’t help but huff. “Why?” He asked after a long moment of silence in which you were pretty sure he was waiting for you to say something. Again you pursed your lips together. Honestly, the nerve of this man. He knew exactly why you were crying. The prince sighed and approached your bed. When he simply stood there at the edge, you sneaked a peek at him and saw that he seemed to be struggling with himself. Eventually he plopped down next to your injured leg and a shot of anxiety crept inside your heart.
“I haven’t told the allfather if that is what upsets you so.” He stated and you kept feeling his gaze burning holes into you, but you stubbornly kept your eyes focused on the wrinkles of the sheets in your lap. He sighed once again and his hand shot up to rank it through his hair, you assumed. “Please, Svinnr, I don’t… I don’t want you to be afraid of me.” Again you said nothing while you felt the prince shift uncomfortably on the bed.
“You intrigued me when I first saw you. A lonely maid propped up on a windowsill with a heavy book in her hands. Servants, let alone maids, who can read are very rare here. Once that was different, when lesser nobles were servants of the royal family, but my mother thought it would be better to create jobs for the people who needed them and send out application forms all over Asgard. When I saw you sitting there, I thought you were just trying to make sense of the runes or images in the book, but your eyes were darting over the pages as if you truly knew what they meant. I decided to scare you a little, because that’s who I am, the god of mischief and a maid is always an easy target. Yet you held your ground without any fear. Such stupidity and bravery, but yet there had to be intelligence as well for you to spend your free day in the library, reading.” He snorted, but after a moment he turned serious again.
“I could have had you punished for your cheek, but I refrained from that. I wanted to see how far you were willing to go, so I decided to make you my little test subject. And then when I saw you again and you were politely being rude to Fandral by giving him a piece of your mind, I admit I was… baffled. In my experience girls like you fawn over Fandral like bitches in heat, especially when he shows them some kind of attention. But not you. You defended your friend with grace and without a shadow of a doubt as if you had no care what it could cost you, you simply stood up for him because you wanted to and because it felt right.” He fell silent and when you lifted your eyes to look at him, you saw him scratching his palm while his eyes were no longer pointed at you, but at the door.
“No one ever did something like that for me and I wanted what that guard had. More importantly I wanted it from you. I didn’t really know how to proceed however, so I kept my distance. That was until that maid attacked you. I was filled with so much anger for someone to be attacking you, but when she told me you had Fandral’s favour, I turned it all against you. I thought I had terribly misjudged you and that you were just like all the others, but you surprised me once again by telling the truth with such a bite to your voice. At the wedding feast I wanted you all to myself, but Frey was keeping you from me and it angered me to see how easy it was for you to smile at him, when you hardly ever did that with me.” His head turned back to you and your eyes locked. You didn’t know what his eyes were telling you, but at least they weren’t cold.
“Two days ago, when I approached you in the corridor to give you some advice on the trial, I was taken aback by your question. I was working so hard to win your trust, but that question made me believe that I would never have it. You simply couldn’t get over the reputation and names I have received throughout the years and it angered me. You were in no position to judge me and so I… I latched out and decided to hurt and frighten you simply because I could and wanted to.” He shifted a bit closer and to your surprise you could see something akin to apprehension in his eyes. “Svinnr, I have known about your seidr for a while now, but I will not tell another soul about it. I promise.” His eyes darted between yours as if he was waiting for an answer or a signal to show itself in them. A long moment passed in which you both remained quiet and after a while longer, prince Loki’s eyes turned sad as he retreated a bit.
“Please say something.” He all but pleaded and even though you had promised yourself to hold on to your anger and not let this get to you, it did and it made your heart bleed. You didn’t trust him, you couldn’t. You were simply too confused and hurt for it. He knew the secret that could mean your and your family’s ruin if he ever told anyone, you hardly knew him and he had a rotten reputation for being unreliable. You lifted your eyes once more and met his.
“How did you find out?” You asked, not wanting to delve into the whole trust-conversation. He kept looking at you and you swore you could feel him burning holes into your very soul.
“I suspected it when I healed that cut on your cheek. It felt as if my seidr was attaching itself to another magical source. And then when I heard that a maid was beaten to an inch from her life, I grew concerned that they might have spoken of you. And when I went down the healing wing and saw you there, incredibly pale and soaked in bloody rags, I took the healing with seidr upon myself. There was no mistaking that your seidr latched itself with mine then and helped heal your body quicker. It was weak, but it was clearly there.” He spoke ever so softly as if he was talking to a frightened or cornered animal. It did nothing good for your nerves, though.
“Why haven’t you told the allfather?” You asked next and again he started scratching his hand while looking away at the door with a sigh. It took him a while to speak again as well.
“Because I am a selfish being.” He admitted with a clenched jaw. “I wanted to know why you were hiding it. My theory is that your parents have never even reported your talent for it, for why else would you not be studying at the royal school of seidr to learn how to use and control it. It didn’t make sense for you to work as a maid here without anyone else knowing about it.” You nodded and took a few shallow breaths before asking your next question.
“What are you planning to do with this information?” You managed to get out without making your voice tremble. Prince Loki however looked a little shocked and even hurt at hearing your question.
“Nothing.” He said softly and leaned in a bit closer while his fingers brushed over yours. “I promise you, Svinnr, that your secret will be safe with me.” And then you couldn’t hold your tears back anymore as you started crying openly. “Oh, Svinnr.” The prince whispered and ever so slowly closed the gap so he could place his arms around you gently. His hold on you was not strong as if he was giving you the option to push him away if you felt uncomfortable in any way.
You couldn’t help but lean into him and burry your face in the fabric of his shirt, hoping to simply disappear. He smelled good, like leather and lemons and you gladly breathed it all in. You had felt so alone for such a long time and even though the thought frightened you, it also felt relieving to know you could share your secret with someone at the very least. The prince stroked your back soothingly as you continued to soak his shirt with your tears. When you had finally calmed down, he gently pushed you away a little so he could look at you.
“I wish to help you, Svinnr.” He said softly and then looked a little apprehensive. “If you would allow me to, that is.”
“Help me how?” He simply chuckled at that as he spread his arms wide.
“You are looking at the most powerful seidr-wielder in all of Asgard, possibly in all of the nine.” You gulped at him like a fish. Was he trying to tell you that he wanted to… teach you? He laughed after he had seen the expression on your face.
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying.”
“That depends on what you’re thinking, my dear.” And there it was again, his trademark smirk.
“Please don’t.” You mumbled. He might be able to change moods in a blink of an eye, but you couldn’t. He seemed to catch onto that, as he softened his expression and grabbed hold of your hand.
“Not using seidr is dangerous, as I’m sure you know. I can help you practise and perfect it, teach you some spells and help you with your concentration.” He offered and squeezed your hand for good measure. You looked at him with teary eyes.
“What if someone finds out?” You whispered. “I will only cause you trouble, my prince.”
“Are you forgetting who I am? I am trouble in the flesh and if I don’t want anyone to find out, then no one will. It’s as simple as that.”
“But-“
“No.” He whispered in your ear as he pulled you into another embrace. “No more questions. I have already decided to help you and I promise to protect you.” He squeezed you gently against him. “Do you trust me?” He whispered and all sense aside your mouth ran its course as it always did.
“Yes.” And even though everyone had warned you about him and you too had your doubts about him, this, for some reason, felt right.
You didn’t know how long you stayed there, trapped in prince Loki’s gentle embrace, but you did know how embarrassed you felt when prince Frey cleared his throat to announce his presence.
“I never took you for a sentimental soul, Loki.” He said as you and prince Loki let go of each other, even though the prince kept his hand on your arm.
“And I always thought that knocking on doors before entering was considered to be common decency.” That made prince Frey chuckle as he sat himself down in the chair next to the bed. “What do you want, Frey?”
“I came to say goodbye and see how Svinnr was doing.”
“Goodbye?” You said surprised.
“Yes, my sweet. I told you I was going back to Alfheim and that day has now come, but I didn’t want to leave you behind without saying goodbye and also without inviting you.”
“Invite me?”
“Ostara. It will be the greatest feast you have ever seen and before that there’s a hunt where friends from all over the nine will be present.”
“Prince Frey, I-“
“Please, dear, just call me Frey.” You felt prince Loki’s grip on your arm tighten. You were quiet for a long time while prince Frey kept burning holes into your head with his piercing gaze.
“Frey…, I don’t think I’m allowed to go even if I wanted to.”
“You have my royal permission.” He chuckled and then his face softened as he came closer to you, as if he just realised you had puffy red eyes and tearstained cheeks. “What’s wrong, darling?” He asked as he cupped your cheek, completely ignoring prince Loki who had flinched as soon as prince Frey had touched your skin.
“It’s nothing. I… I’m still overwhelmed by everything.” You said and even though you felt horrible for not telling the whole truth, you weren’t openly lying either.
“I see.” He said as he sat himself down on the other side of the bed and kept his hand on your cheek. “All the more reason for a break, hm?”
“What about lord Blekk? I can’t –“
“I will talk to him.” Prince Loki suddenly spoke up and when your eyes locked, the softness in his eyes had been replaced by an unreadable look. “Ostara is still a few weeks away.”
“See? And what better way to celebrate your birthday than with me?” Frey said with a big smile while stroking your cheek gently.
“Your birthday.” Loki whispered more to himself than anyone else in the room. He took a deep breath, grabbed hold of your hand and placed a soft kiss on your knuckles. “I must go now, I’m afraid.” He said as he got up from your bed and turned his back to you, but for some reason he remained still without making any move to leave. Eventually he turned back around. “I will speak to lord Blekk, Svinnr, not to worry.” And then he vanished in a puff of green smoke.
“What were you talking about earlier?” Prince Frey asked after a moment with a soft voice. You took a deep breath and shook your head.
“I… I don’t want to talk about it.” You said and then remembered that you had been ranting at him how you two could never be friends if you couldn’t openly talk to one another. “Not at the moment, I mean.” You added and cringed at the words. Really, what the hell were you doing? Your whole situation was getting way too complicated.
On one hand there was prince Frey, who for some reason wanted to be your friend while he kept looking awfully pained whenever you would talk to him. And then there was prince Loki who was the mere definition of complicated and in the centre of it all there was you, a little peasant girl who wasn’t even here out of her own volition. You didn’t want to lie to prince Frey, because you actually liked him and wanted to be his friend, but how could you ever? And prince Loki? Why in all the nine did he want to help you anyway? It couldn’t simply be because he wanted your defence of him, could it? You took another deep breath before lifting your eyes to meet Frey’s sky-blue ones that were, once again, filled with some kind of pain-stricken emotion.
“You really want to invite me to Alfheim?” You asked to completely switch topics.
“I do, Svinnr. I wish to show you the Silverwood and the dark lakes. I also know that you have been reading about the Dökkálfar and the Jötnar and have been dying to meet them. And of course some Ljósálfar never hurt, but then again the first light elf you ever met, was Skírnir, so I understand that the Ljósálfar might no longer be of interest to you.” That made you laugh and prince Frey’s face also lit up as he revelled at the sound of it. “There you go. I hated to leave Asgard without hearing your laugh once more.” He of course had to make it weird. He seemed to realise his mistake too late as you cleared your throat and continued the conversation.
“Are you planning on inviting any Dökkálfar or Jötnar?” You asked while fidgeting with the casket on your arm.
“I am. Two princes from Svartalheim and a noble brother and sister from Jotunheim. They will join us on the hunt as well.”
“Us? I can’t even ride a horse properly, let alone operate a bow and arrow.” Prince Frey only chuckled as he placed the hand that was originally on your cheek to the back of your neck to pull you a bit closer.
“I will teach you and I promise you, you will be safe at all times, my dear, never fret.”