First Confession
1933
Steve wandered out of his room at around 10 am. It was late, he knew; but rationed no one would know. His mom had left for work before sunrise— like she did every morning— and Bucky wasn’t coming around until noon. He had plenty of time to be alone. Plenty of time to worry.
His room was getting stuffy though and hoped the rest of the house would be better.
Steve jumped when he saw Bucky laying across the living room couch. The newspaper rested on top of his face. He had probably fallen asleep.
“Bucky?” Steve asked, poking his shoulder.
“Oh, hey Pal,” Bucky said, sitting up, “Look who finally woke up.”
“Thought we were meeting at noon.”
Bucky shrugged, “Got too loud at my place. Knew it would be nice and quiet here. Should probably find a new place for that spare key before somebody kicks it into the dirt by accident.”
“You could’a knocked,” Steve suggested, “I was up.”
“Then why was I alone for two hours?” Bucky chuckled.
“Was thinking ‘bout something.”
Bucky raised an eyebrow, “Something or someone?” Bucky brought this up often, trying to coax Steve into the world of teenage girls that Bucky had been drooling over for a few years
Steve felt his cheeks heat up and immediately looked away from Bucky.
“Finally found a dame, huh?” Bucky teased.
“Yeah, something like that.”
“You gonna tell me about her? I mean, I always tell you about the dames I see. You might as well return the favor.”
“All those stories are unprompted, Buck. I’ll share what I want to share.”
“Then sit next to me and tell me all about her!” Bucky grabbed Steve’s hand and pulled him to the couch.
Steve looked down at his lap and took a deep breath, “Great hair. Beautiful eyes. Amazing lips. The works, y’know?”
“So how long have you been going out?” Bucky asked.
“Haven’t exactly gone out yet…”
“Oh good. Killed me thinking my best pal went on his first date without telling me. This dame know you exist?”
“Yeah,” Steve nodded, “Pretty fond of me too, it seems. Just not sure if it’s in, that way.”
“Any one would be lucky to have ya. You’re a catch, trust me.”
“It’s just. I’m not sure how to do it. I’m afraid I’ll mess something up. I always do. You’ve done this before. Have any advice?”
Bucky took a deep breath and put his hand on Steve’s shoulder, “Listen, Steve. You’re always gonna be you. There is nothing in the world that would change that. I know no matter what I tell you, you’re gonna do your own thing. You’ve got a big heart. So just follow your heart, buddy. You’re gonna be alright.”
“You sure?” Steve needed to double check.
“Yeah. But if things don’t go as planned, just know that I will be right here. You will always have me, you punk. Until the end of the line.”
“Until the end of the line,” Steve nodded.
“Now go out and do what you do best, Steve.”
“Which is…?”
“Being an honest, good man.”
Steve smiled at Bucky before disappearing back in his own room to fix his hair, his clothes, and hopefully but not likely, his height.
“You look great pal,” Bucky called at Steve, giving a thumbs up. Steve chuckled, noticing that Bucky hadn’t even bothered to look up from his paper.
He opened the door but before leaving he asked Bucky, “Why don’t you have a girl if you’re so good at asking them out?”
Bucky put down the paper and looked over to Steve. He couldn’t help but notice he was wearing his picture-perfect church clothes and had combed his hair. He looked good. “I have someone in mind. Just waiting for the right time.”
“Don’t do anything stupid ‘til I get back,” Steve warned before closing the door behind him.
Bucky leaned back to the couch; happy to hold all the stupid until his friend returned.
All of ten minutes later, Bucky heard a brick being kicked against the metal railing. He smiled to himself and then immediately worried that Steve was back too soon. If a girl says yes, Steve would have stuck around with her.
When the door finally opened he stood up, “You put the key back?”
“Yeah,” Steve smiled, “I may be forgetful but I’m not as stupid as you think.” He seemed pretty cheery so Bucky knew nothing too bad had happened.
“So… how did it go?”
“Didn’t do it,” Steve confessed with a grin on his lips.
“How come?” Bucky was so confused.
“Didn’t see ‘em out there.”
“Did you even bother look?” This was getting frustrating.
“Nope. Didn’t have to.”
“Why?”
Steve didn’t answer. He held his hand out and Bucky took it without thought. He felt Steve’s thumb gently rubbing over the back of his hand. He wanted to ask a million things but couldn’t. Not when he was looking deep into Steve’s blue-green eyes. He could drown in those eyes and still never get enough.
“James Barnes…” Steve began softly.
Uh oh, Bucky thought. Steve never called him James. He was never James to Steve. Only Bucky. What had he done wrong? He could feel his heart racing.
“...will you go out with me?”
And then he went numb. He couldn’t feel anything. Not his heart. Not Steve holding his hand. Only the slight movement of his head as he nodded yes.
Steve broke into the biggest smile possible. Bucky had never seen anything more beautiful.
He reached out pulled Steve into a hug, cradling Steve’s head against his chest. Bucky buried his face in Steve’s hair.
“I love you,” he choked out, “I love you Stevie. So much.”
“I love you, too Buck,” Steve replied. “Always have.”
“Until the end of the line, right?”
“’Till the end of the line, and then some.”