Rat Bastard
November 3rd, 1980
It was Sirius’ birthday today and surprisingly enough, Regulus hadn’t heard a single word about it. But with the war seemingly having no end and the Potters having to go into hiding recently, birthdays didn’t really seem like much of an issue at the moment.
The Potters were being moved around from safehouse to safehouse every few weeks it seemed like and each time they moved, Sirius was with them, seeing to their safety no matter who tried to persuade him not to go. Of course, Sirius cared about James and Lily more than anything, but since Harry had been born, Sirius had become just that much more protective of the young family.
In the last four months since they had destroyed the diary, Regulus had barely heard from his brother at all. It had become a rather common occurrence that they’d go days or even weeks without a word to each other, but with how preoccupied Sirius had become with the Order and the Potters, Regulus would have been surprised to see him anytime soon.
Not only had he barely seen his brother, but he also came to a dead end on any more horcruxes and he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. Pandora had suggested to him that maybe that meant he had gotten them all, but Regulus wasn’t sure. He felt like they were still missing some, that the Dark Lord wouldn’t have been so dumb to only make three and hide them all in places where at least one person knew of them. Something kept telling him that there had to be more, but he had no idea if he was even right and he had nothing to back up his opinion.
It didn’t help that Dumbledore had been almost no help as well. Regulus had tried to speak with him a few different times and it was starting to seem like he was ignoring him. He never seemed to have time to help him or even just have a quick chat with him. It was as if he offered up the fang as his way to help, then sent Regulus off to do all of his dirty work and completely forgot about him. So, he gave up on the old twat.
At least Pandora still wanted to help. However, she had worries of her own. The boy she had been seeing before, Xenophilius, had become more serious about their relationship and so had she. She had come bounding into Regulus’ house to show off the engagement ring he had proposed to her with. Obviously, Regulus was happy for her, who wouldn’t be? But it felt like such bad timing. He was trying to figure out if there were anymore horcruxes and now even she had become preoccupied, leaving him to work on his own most days.
The thought of asking Remus to help him had crossed his mind and he did consider it, but the one time he attempted to talk to him, he was nowhere to be found and Kreacher told him he was away on some secret Order mission and wasn’t sure when he’d be back. So, that plan went out the window and he was on his own again.
He had hit a wall and to be quite honest, he had no idea what he was doing. He didn’t think there had really been a single moment where he did actually know what he was doing. He had to improvise so often that improvising had become his plans. The fact that he had been doing this for nearly a year and no one had caught him yet only made him think that maybe he was a better liar than he thought.
The one thing that was really starting to bother him though, were the Death Eater meetings, especially with them being held at Malfoy Manor where Narcissa was taking care of her infant son, Draco. The thought hadn’t occurred to him before because he never saw the child when he was there, that was until a recent meeting when he was leaving and saw Narcissa heading up the stairs with a bottle of milk in her hand. No child should have to be raised around this… no child at all.
A part of him wanted to stop going to the meetings, maybe fake his death and go into hiding until it was all over. Every time his arm would start to sting and he knew he’d have to go again, he’d find himself in a battle with his own thoughts, being pulled back and forth on whether or not he should go, but every time he went and with each time that he went, he found himself listening less and less. He’d start to think of other things though he knew he should be listening, he just couldn’t seem to get himself to pay attention anymore. He felt like everyone around him had almost started to give up and maybe he was too. But he couldn’t - he wouldn’t let himself. No matter how much he may have wanted to, there were people depending on him, whether they knew it or not.
Then, he went to the next meeting and suddenly the idea of giving up seemed like the last thing he should be doing.
On the night of Sirius’ birthday, another meeting was called. Knowing that even if Sirius would have wanted to celebrate tonight, Regulus wouldn’t have been able to join him either way, he didn’t have much choice but to go to the meeting. He hadn’t expected much to happen, nor did he expect to learn anything useful so he found himself dragging his feet as he entered the manor and joined everyone at the table.
The beginning of the meeting was nothing special in particular, just more rambling about how much power they had and Bellatrix still gawking at the Dark Lord with unwavering loyalty even after all he had done to her. Then, what caught Regulus’ attention the most was the mention of a new member who would be joining them in the Dark Lord’s most trusted circle. It was not something Regulus had ever thought he would hear. No one ever joined the Death Eaters and immediately became one of his most trusted. It never happened. Ever. Whoever this person was would have had to have done something extraordinarily helpful to the Dark Lord, something that none of them had ever done for him.
As he sat in his place at the table, his full attention on the Dark Lord now, he listened to every word, soaking in more than he had in a long time.
“Our newest member has provided me with more information than I could have ever imagined and from inside of the Order itself.” Voldemort boasted.
Inside the Order? How long had they been passing information? What did they know?
Regulus felt his insides twist a little as he waited less and less patiently. He just wanted to know who the person was, it felt like it was killing him.
“He has proven himself more than enough to me and so today we initiate,” Voldemort stepped aside as a familiar, mousy looking man sheepishly stepped forward, “Peter Pettigrew.”
Oh… you son of a bitch.
Regulus’ face remained completely flat and unchanging as Peter stood next to the Dark Lord with that same terror behind his eyes that so many other Death Eaters always tried so hard to hide. He stared at him with a million words he’d like to have said flying through his head and for just a moment, Peter made eye contact with Regulus who remained unchanging. Peter’s eyes widened a little bit when he realized who he was looking at and immediately turned his gaze away from him, but Regulus continued to stare at him, refusing to look away.
“Please roll up your left sleeve, Peter.” Voldemort said and Peter quickly began to pull up the sleeve of his sweater, trying his best to push it all the way up his arm and fumbling as he went. The idiot…
The Dark Lord held out his want to Peter’s exposed arm, tapping the end of it down on his skin and pressing it down just as hard as he had on Regulus. From the end of the wand, lines began to pour out onto Peter’s arm, forming into the shape of a menacing skull with a serpent protruding from its mouth - the Dark Mark.
He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. At first, he was angry. He was angry that Peter could so easily turn on his own friends and stand there before them, being introduced into their side. But as if it had been delayed, the realization finally hit him that Peter Pettigrew, the skittish, quiet friend of James Potter, the one who seemed like he could never hurt a fly, was there, standing before them and allowing the Dark Lord to give him the mark.
Peter flinched once or twice as the mark grew on his arm, his face had gone red as he tried to hold in the pain that was surely searing through his arm. When it was finally over, he held his arm up in his other hand and stared at the branding now forever sealed into his skin and Regulus could see it in his face - he had no idea what he had just done.
After a while of staring at his arm, the Dark Lord directed him to take a seat at the table where Barty gave him a hard pat on the back. Peter shakily smiled back at him as he sank into his seat.
“Peter Pettigrew has been feeding me information from the Order for the past few months now, keeping me updated on their movements and plans to always keep us ahead.” Voldemort explained further. “Though he may not be much of a fighter, he has proven more than useful to me and for that, we shall all welcome him as an official Death Eater.”
Everyone applauded for a moment, mostly out of fear of the Dark Lord rather than any sort of admiration, then the meeting continued on as normal.
Regulus felt like he was bursting at this new information. He needed to tell someone now. The Order needed to know, but what would he have said? Who would believe him over Peter? What if this was all pretend and he was there as a spy for the Order? But why would they have sent Peter of all people? He needed to know more, so much more and he was going to pry it out of him if he had to. How the hell had the boy who was always following around James end up turning on him? What could have possibly happened that changed him?
At the end of the meeting, everyone filtered out as usual and Regulus made sure to wait where he’d be able to stop Peter from leaving. Standing by the doors to leave the dining hall, he watched as Peter followed behind everyone at the back of the ground and as he made it to the door, Regulus quickly linked his arm around Peter’s pulling him backwards from the crowd. He let out a little whimper as Regulus pulled him away from everyone.
“Didn’t think you would get away that easily, did ya, Petey?” Regulus said as he pulled him to a corner, backing him into the wall.
“H-hi Regulus. It’s been a long time.” He stuttered out. Regulus looked him up and down and watched as his hands shook. “C-can you believe I-I’m one of you n-now?”
“One of… us?” Regulus questioned, staring at his face.
“Well yeah… I’ve been helping Vol-”
“Never say his name. He is only to be referred to as the Dark Lord.”
“Sorry… I’ve been helping the Dark Lord for months.” Peter said, looking a little more proud of himself. “He’s been so grateful to me and he’s promised me so much.”
“He’s promised people a lot of things.” Regulus shot back. “You’ll be eaten alive here.”
“Eaten alive?” Peter repeated, a tone of cockiness suddenly in his voice. “I-I’m going to be praised… worshipped! These people are going to love me!”
“Love you? None of these people know what that word even means.” Regulus said, hoping it might be enough to rile him up. “Why are you really here, Pettigrew?” His voice was cold again and he just hoped that he might get his answer.
Peter stared at him for a second as his mask began to slip, the sheepish persona was falling and with it Regulus began to see who Peter had become. Maybe the people in his life had made him that way or maybe this was who he had really always been, but it was not the Peter that Regulus had known in school.
Peter took a step closer to Regulus as a sly smile crept up on his face.
“Because Reg… I am going to be made a god.” Peter answered coolly. “Then they’ll all see me. They’ll have to… because what is a man when compared to a god? He’s promised me so much power… how could I turn that down?”
There it is.
In that moment, Regulus could say with full certainty that that was the first time Peter Pettigrew had ever come close to scaring him. Though he wouldn’t let it show and he held his chin high, remaining tall over Peter, he was scared, but he didn’t think it was necessarily Peter he was afraid of. No. He was afraid of what the Dark Lord had made him or what he had brought out of him. Just the idea that the Dark Lord could take someone as meek and scared as Peter and turn him into a monster lusting after promised power he would likely never receive, scared the shit out of him. How often was he doing this? How many of his followers had he done this to before? How many of them started off as decent people corrupted by the idea of power?
Regulus stared at Peter, fighting everything within himself to not strangle the traitor standing in front of him. Instead, he fed all of the anger in him into his stare and Peter seemed to revert back, pulling his mask back up as he took a step back again and gulped. Regulus raised his chin a little higher again then scoffed.
“Welcome to the other side then.” Regulus finally said coolly, holding out a hand to Peter.
Peter looked at his hand for a moment unsure if he should grab it, but he did anyway, taking Regulus’ hand to shake it. As he took his hand, Regulus held it firmly, pulling Peter towards him with another aggressive yank.
“Just know that if you put so much as a toe out of line, I will be watching you.” Regulus whispered. “Do not fuck with me, Pettigrew.”
Regulus pulled away from him again, letting go of his hand and Peter quickly pulled his hand away, staring at Regulus with the fear he was looking for. He could try to be as powerful as he wanted, but he was still Peter Pettigrew and he was never going to get past Regulus Black.
He watched Peter as he cowered in the corner again, having quickly backed down from trying anything at all and Regulus scoffed at him again as he shook his head and turned away from him. As he began to walk away, Peter asked one last thing.
“You aren’t going to tell anyone, are you?” Peter asked.
Regulus stopped where he was, then slowly turned around and faced Peter again with a nasty glare.
“Why the hell would I want to boast about someone like… you?” Regulus shot at him, hearing his mother’s icy tone coming out again. “You are nothing to be proud of.”
Peter stared back at him, his mouth agape and slowly his eyes fell down to the floor as he began to rub his hands. Regulus turned again, this time leaving without another word to him. He apparated back to Grimmauld Place, seriously needing a drink and to sleep for the next week, but when he entered the house and began to descend the stairs to the kitchen, he could hear noises coming from the room below. He figured it must be Pandora waiting for him, but his hand still found his wand quite quickly as he descended the stairs again.
“Panda, if that’s you, I’m really too tired to-”
“Hey Reg…”
Standing in his kitchen, holding a glass as he poured some firewhiskey into it, was Sirius. He leaned back against the counter as he put down the bottle.
“Oh sorry, did you want some?” He asked, holding up the glass.
“Wha- No! What are you doing here?” Regulus asked out of surprise. “I thought you never wanted to step foot in this place again.”
“Yeah well… It's my birthday and Remus is out on a mission and James and Lily have already passed out from taking care of Harry,” Sirius said as he took a swig from his glass, “and Merlin knows where Peter is right now.”
Regulus’ heart sank, but he said nothing.
“So, I thought I’d come visit my little brother!” Sirius smiled as he attempted to stand up straight again and walked over to Regulus, slapping his arm down on his shoulder. He reeked of alcohol. “But you weren’t here so I got into the old man’s drinks! He doesn’t need them anymore, right?”
“How much have you had?” Regulus asked, prying the glass out of Sirius’ hand.
“Just one!” Sirius answered defensively. Regulus shot him a look. “...bottle.”
“Bloody hell, Sirius. Are you ever gonna grow up?” Regulus asked.
“Are you ever going to be fun?” Sirius asked back, starting to slur his words.
Regulus rolled his eyes as he put the bottle back into the cabinet and drank the last of what was in the glass. It burned a little as it went down, but he needed it. Firewhiskey was never his favourite anyways. He turned back to Sirius and walked towards him, pulling him back towards the stairs.
“Where are we going?” Sirius asked as he stumbled up the stairs behind Regulus.
“I’m taking you home.” Regulus answered flatly.
“Well, buy me a drink first… wait…”
Regulus sighed as he continued to pull Sirius up the stairs who was now drunkenly laughing to himself. When they got outside, Regulus grabbed hold of Sirius’ arm tightly.
“Hold on and don’t let go.” Regulus ordered, letting go of his arm again.
“I am!” Sirius answered defensively again. He was not.
“Sirius, you’re drunk and you need to go home. Just hold my arm and don’t move.”
Sirius finally took hold of Regulus’ arm and he quickly apparated them back to Sirius’ flat and when they landed, it only took half a second before Sirius had fallen to his knees and was hurling in the alley next to his building. After a few minutes, Regulus finally managed to bring his brother up to his flat and get him inside where he very quickly ran to the toilet and let everything else he had drank come back up. Regulus stood at the door, watching Sirius as he dry heaved a few times, then fell back against the tub. His face was red and his eyes were watery as he looked back up at Regulus.
“They think it’s me, I bet.” Sirius slurred.
“What?”
“The traitor… the spy… the bad guy… the Order thinks someone might be a… a spy or something… they probably think it’s me… Sirius Black… the boy that just couldn’t outlive his name…” Sirius groaned. “I think I need another drink…” And then he passed out on the bathroom floor.
“Shit.” Regulus whispered to himself.
Just then, he heard the front door open and Remus’ voice called out for Sirius.
“Sirius, you home? I’m back!” He called. “Sirius?”
Regulus leaned out from the bathroom door as Remus entered the hallway and gave him a single wave with a “please don’t be mad” smile. Remus looked worn out, as if he hadn’t slept in days and his face had dirt smudges all over it.
“Hi Remus… could I get a hand?” Regulus asked, feeling a little bad.
Remus followed him into the bathroom and as soon as his eyes fell on Sirius, his shoulders sank and he sighed.
“I’ll get him to bed.” Remus said as he leaned down and pulled Sirius up as if this hadn’t been the first time he had done it.
Regulus waited for a little bit until Remus left the bedroom again, shutting the door behind him. He passed Regulus into the bathroom without a word and he heard the sink turn on for a minute before Remus came back out again, wiping his face with a towel.
“Sorry about him.” Remus apologized. “He hasn’t been doing great lately, y’know, with everything and all. I mean I don’t think any of us are, but he’s not been taking it great.”
“S’alright. I just wasn’t expecting to find him in my kitchen.” Regulus said.
“He was at Grimmauld Place?” Remus asked, surprised.
Regulus nodded his head. He thought that maybe he ought to tell Remus everything that had happened today, that one of their closest friends was actually a traitor, but he said nothing. He kept it to himself because it didn’t seem real. It had only been the first meeting Peter had ever been to. Regulus thought that maybe, someway, he could keep Peter in check or that the Death Eaters would kill him before he’d have a chance to cause any real damage. It wasn’t the right time.
“I was hoping to be back earlier today, it being his birthday and all, but Order missions have just been…”
“You don’t need to explain yourself, Remus.” Regulus affirmed. “I know you care about him and I’m sure he does too… You said it yourself… life is just hard right now.”
Remus solemnly nodded as he rubbed the back of his neck.
“Well, thank you for bringing him back in one piece.” Remus said.
“What are brothers for?” Regulus said with half a smile.
After that, Regulus left again, going back to Grimmauld Place for the night, thinking that maybe one more glass of firewhiskey couldn’t hurt.