Faith in Fear | A Regulus Black Story

June 19th, 1980

The house was already starting to stink. The smell only got worse if you got closer to the kitchen. It reeked of an old bog in there and every time Regulus even thought of entering the kitchen, he had to plug his nose and take a deep breath. Once in a while, he would enter and find Pandora in there, casually stirring away at the cauldron over the fire where the smell was emanating and she’d laugh at him for being disgusted.

“I never said this was going to smell good.” She said as he held his nose tight.

“Well, I’ve never had to brew polyjuice before. How was I supposed to know?” He said.

She shrugged.

Pandora had spent nearly everyday since the first day she showed up coming to check in on the potion, but she would often linger around a little longer even when Regulus knew she was done. He suspected that she wanted to check in on him too and make sure he was doing alright, but neither of them would ever say it out loud.

Ever since both of his parents had passed, no one ever seemed to stop by the house anymore. Bellatrix and Rodolphus never came for dinner anymore, Narcissa and Lucius never stopped by for tea, and Sirius was still too apprehensive about coming near the house at all. Some of the rooms in the house had become completely unused and Regulus was starting to wonder if living on his own in a house of its size was even necessary. It just felt too big, too empty, too alone. But that was not his concern for now. Not yet. At least Pandora stopped by, whether or not it was just for the potion, he didn’t mind. He was sure he’d always enjoy having her company around. 

It had crossed his mind too, that maybe he’d be safe to bring Kreacher back to the house seeing as how no one ever seemed to come by, but he was still thinking that over. There was always the off chance that someone could choose to surprise him.

“How much longer will this take to brew?” Regulus asked, still holding his nose. “At this rate, I’ll have to tear down the house to its bone if I ever want to get rid of the smell.”

“It’s still got to brew another two and a half weeks.” She replied, hanging the stirring rod back up above the cauldron.

Regulus let out a groan.

“Do you want my help or not, Reggie?”

“Of course I want your help. It just stinks.”

Pandora rolled her eyes and smirked at him.

“You are such a baby.” She said, “Oh and when the potion’s brewed, I’ll need some of your DNA. Like a hair or something.”

“I could spit into it for you.” Regulus grinned.

“You’re disgusting.”

“So is that potion.”

He could see her try to fight back a smile as she let out a single laugh and rolled her eyes again, walking past him and to the stairs that led back out of the kitchen. He followed after her, leaving the potion to brew and they both fell into spots on different couches in the living room as the sun was beginning to set through the windows. He could still smell the potion lingering around them, but he wasn’t sure if it was actually in the air or just remnants of it left on their clothes. 

Pandora laid across the couch she was on, kicking her feet up over one armrest, making herself comfortable as if she were already at home. Regulus sat back on his couch, taking a moment before deciding to kick his own feet up as well.

“Do you think this will really work?” Regulus asked.

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“No.”

Regulus frowned at her.

“Honestly Reg, I have no idea if this is really going to work or not, but do you have any better ideas?” Pandora said. “Besides, we both know the Death Eaters are a bunch of dimwitted followers. I’ll be surprised if any of them notice.”

Regulus let out a small laugh.

The plan was supposed to be simple. Well… as simple as it could be… Pandora was going to take Regulus’ place at the next meeting, pretending she was him, just long enough for him to search for the diary. He would have to enter through the servant’s door on the side of the manor and sneak his way in that way. Then, they could switch places again while she leaves with the diary and he pretends that nothing had happened at all. He would only have an hour to find the diary, but as she had said, this was the best plan he had. 

They had gone over every detail Regulus could think of in case she was asked anything by anyone, they still had more to go over, but she seemed to learn pretty quickly. In the best case scenario, not a single person would try to ask her anything and she could just quietly observe for an hour. 

The main issue he had with the whole plan was involving Pandora in it at all. Sure, she could definitely handle herself, Merlin knows he learned that very quickly about her, but he still found himself struggling with the idea. He really didn’t want to put her in any harm’s way, he knew what the Death Eaters were like firsthand, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t know too. He had told her plenty and he had learned of her own endeavours, one that included a Death Eater being flung 20 feet into the air. She could manage herself, but that didn’t make him any less worried about her.

~~~

July 10th, 1980

The sun had started to set once again and Regulus and Pandora had decided to spend some time lounging in the back garden. It was secluded and hidden along with the rest of the house so they wouldn’t have to worry about anyone accidentally spotting them, but best of all, the back garden lacked the rotting smell that the potion had been increasingly spewing. Pandora was insistent that it meant the potion had brewed correctly, but he didn’t care. He just couldn’t wait to get it out of the house.

Pandora had bottled as much of it up as she could, making sure there was some extra if it became necessary, but even after vanishing the potion, the smell still seemed to waft out of the kitchen every time the door was opened. He had half the mind to simply just lock the room and ban anyone from ever opening its doors again.

Now, they were simply just waiting - waiting for the next meeting to be called, but when that would be, he had no way of knowing. The Dark Lord was not one for “scheduled” meetings, rather he would just call on you when you could be of service to him and you were always expected to respond. However, it made planning for such events incredibly difficult. 

For two days now, they had been ready, just waiting for any moment they would get the excuse to go to Malfoy Manor. Then finally, as the two of them both laid in the garden, Regulus reading a new book she had found for him and her trying to work out a new charm she had thought of, he felt his arm sting again.

“Agh!” He hissed, nearly dropping his book. It had been a while since he last felt it sting and just from being on edge and waiting for it to happen, the sting only felt worse.

“What’s the matter? Is it time?” Pandora asked, sitting up.

Regulus nodded. “It’s time.”

A smile grew on Pandora’s face. She seemed far too eager to finally enact their plan. She quickly got up from where she was, holding out her hand to pull Regulus up as well which he gratefully accepted. 

The two had pulled out some of Regulus’ clothes, deciding what looked the most like him and they could both wear, but also wouldn’t draw too much attention and have them prepared and ready for her to put on as soon as she took the potion. They were just simple black robes he would have normally worn, proper attire for a proper wizard, and he had plenty that looked just the same.

“You really do have plenty of variety in your wardrobe, Reggie.” Pandora had laughed, staring into the void of hanging, black clothes Regulus had. “Oh wait, here you go!” And she had pulled out the black robes detailed with emerald green he had worn when he had been made the heir. “A little small, but it could work.”

“Not unless you’re trying to get caught.” He had said.

The pair stood in the kitchen now as Pandora sorted the potions. Regulus wanted nothing more than to plug his nose, but he wouldn’t give Pandora anything more to tease him about. As he waited for her to figure out which potion she was going to use and which to save for later, he continued to anxiously watch the mark on his arm that seemed to be bolder in colour. 

“I still need your DNA for this to work.” She said, popping the cork from a vial.

“Wha- Oh right.”

Regulus thought for a second about what he could actually give to her to use in the potion, but he clearly had taken too long as she quickly reached up and plucked a hair from the side of his head, making him wince. As he rubbed at his temple, he watched as she dropped the hair into the potion and it sizzled, dissolving the hair. The potion then began to fade to a dark red wine colour and slowly stopped sizzling. Pandora gave Regulus a quick smirk as she held up the vial. Suddenly, his doubts came rushing back.

“Are you sure you still want to-”

“No time like the present!” She said as she quickly threw back the potion, downing everything in the vial.

As soon as she swallowed everything from the vial, her hand let go of it, letting it fall to the counter in front of her and roll away. The smirk that had been on her face was quickly wiped away as she clutched at her stomach and stumbled back, then doubled over.

“Panda! Are you-”

Pandora held up a hand to his face as if to tell him to shut it and he quickly did. He continued to watch her as her limbs began to lengthen and her near white hair began to fade through shades of grey until it darkened into the signature jet black hair. It was incredibly off putting watching someone transform under the polyjuice potion and it looked excruciating, but seeing someone go through that just to look like him, was even worse.

Her breathing had grown heavy until finally she took one great breath in and then stood up straight again, looking Regulus in the eyes only for him to see his own eyes staring back. It was like looking into a carnival mirror - it looked like him, it was definitely him, but something was off, something wasn’t right. The clothes… She was him, but in her long, yellow, summer dress. It was a little funny to look at.

“So? How do I look?” Pandora asked, doing a little spin.

“Weird…” He said back.

“So I look perfect then.” She teased.

“Go put the clothes on… yellow’s not my colour.” He shook his head as he tossed the black clothes at her.

She quickly got changed into his clothes and then both left for the front door. Regulus stopped just in front of it and turned to Pandora again.

“You know where to go?” Regulus asked.

“Yes.”

“And what do you need to do?”

“Talk to no one and act how you would act.”

“And-”
“Reg! I’ve got this. I just have to be quiet, cold, and condescending and they’ll all believe I’m you.” She teased. “Besides, if I need backup, you’ll hear me.”

Regulus opened the door for her as he stepped aside.

“I’ll see you in an hour.” He said.

She stepped outside and looked back at him once more before she apparated away. He felt a jolt in his stomach as she disappeared. If their plan didn’t work, he was never going to forgive himself for this.

He waited for a couple minutes before he left too, wanting to be sure no one would be around when he appeared. Apparating a little further down the road than he normally would have, he tried to remain unnoticed as he approached Malfoy Manor - a large, grey palace of a building, surrounded in tall hedges and an iron gate.

No one seemed to be around as he grew closer, most likely already inside and he hoped that Pandora had gotten in without any issue. He quietly moved along the tall hedges and to the left side of the building where the side entrance was, keeping his hood over his head and trying to make himself as small as he could. When he reached the path up to the side door, he quickly crept his way up to it, looking every which way for any potential threats, but it was quiet. 

He reached for the door, slowly cracking it open and peeking inside, seeing no one around inside the kitchen. He slipped in through the door and did his best to tiptoe around the large island counter in the centre of the room, trying to reach the door out of the room.

“A guest not at the meeting?” A small voice said as he reached for the door handle.

He instantly froze, unsure of what to do. He could turn around and stun them right there, he could just pull open the door and run for it and pretend he was never there, or he could face them and put on the performance of his life. 

He stood for a moment, staring at the door, then finally let out a sigh and turned around. He expected to see someone maybe a little shorter than him, someone meek and quiet, but at first he saw no one until he looked down and saw a skinny and big-eared house elf looking up at him. He looked scared and a little sad and his hands were wrapped in old bandages. The only clothes he had on was an old potato sack with a couple holes cut into it.

“Mr. Black?” The house elf asked.

“Uh… yes…” He nodded hesitantly. “Who are you? I’ve never seen you before.”

“Oh, sorry sir. I’m Dobby, Master Malfoy’s house elf, sir.” He bowed. “Dobby’s seen you plenty of times sir, but Master Malfoy does not like for me to be seen. I knew your house elf, Kreacher… he was a good elf…”

Dobby’s eyes began to well up as he stared at Regulus until he finally broke down and started to smack his head into the counter next to him.

“Dobby! Stop it, Dobby!” Regulus pleaded, trying to stop the house elf from making more noise. The elf eventually stopped, rubbing his head. “Kreacher is still alive, I promise, but no one can know that and no one can know that you saw me down here, okay? It’s important that you don’t say a word.”

Dobby nodded, but he seemed a little confused.

“Kreacher is alive, sir?”

“Yes, but he’s in hiding to stay safe for now.”

“But sir, Dobby sees you here all the time, are you not family?” He asked.

“I am, but they think I’m here for the meeting… but I need to retrieve something and they cannot know it was me.” Regulus explained. “If they find out, the Dark Lord will hurt a lot of people.”

Dobby shuttered at that, but nodded again. His eyes looked a little more hopeful now, but still red and teary. He wiped his face.

“What is it Mr. Black is looking for? Dobby can help sir!” The house elf said. “Dobby can’t say what he thinks of the You Know Who, but he can help!”

Regulus stared at the house elf for a moment, deciding whether or not it was a trick, but he seemed eager to help and his sadness for Kreacher’s fake death, genuine. Regulus crouched down so he and Dobby were eye to eye. 

“Lucius would have been given a book or a journal or a diary of some sort a few months ago. He would have been very secretive and very protective of it and it may have had the initials T.M.R. written somewhere on it. Does that sound familiar at all?” Regulus asked.

Dobby’s eyes searched around the room, deep in thought, like he was trying his very best to remember anything like that. He scrunched up his face as he thought harder.

“Dobby might remember Master Malfoy having something like that… sometime in January Dobby thinks.” The house elf said.

“Yes! It would have been around then. Do you know where it is?”

“No.”

Regulus sighed.

“But,” the house elf continued, “if Dobby had to guess where Master Malfoy would have hidden it, Dobby would guess in his study on the third floor.”

Regulus felt a little more hopeful at the idea that he may not have to search the entire manor in what little time he had left. He looked down at his leather strapped watch, checking how much time he had left. Just a little under 40 minutes.

“Thank you, Dobby. You’ve been a great help.” Regulus stood up again and moved back to the door out of the kitchen, pulling it open, taking a quick look around and leaving the house elf alone in the kitchen. 

Making his way through the never ending hallways, he passed room after room, trying to find his way to the stairs. He was starting to get worried he might get lost in all of the twisting hallways even if he had been to their home plenty of times. Then, he heard the unmistakable muffled sound of the Dark Lord’s cold voice growing closer and he knew he was getting close to the stairs.

They had been meeting in their dining room that could have easily been made into a ballroom and while it was well equipped to house hundreds of people, its biggest flaw was that the main stairs of the house happened to be right outside the room. As he checked the foyer from around a corner, he spotted two Death Eaters who would easily recognize him, standing guard just outside the doors with a perfect view of the stairs. He needed a distraction. Something to get them away long enough to get up the stairs.

“Mr. Black?” Dobby suddenly whispered behind him, startling him. 

“Merlin, Dobby!” He said, “what do you need? I’m in a hurry.”

“Dobby might be able to help you if you don’t want to be spotted, sir.”

Then, with a snap of his fingers, Dobby vanished and within a moment, he heard a crash followed by some yelling and the two Death Eaters standing guard glanced at each other then turned to the doors and opened them. Regulus took his chance, sprinting towards the stairs as fast as he could and out of their sight. He had to only hope now, that nobody saw him sprint by.

When he was finally up on the third floor and panting outside of the doors he knew to be Lucius’ study, he took a second to catch his breath then quickly opened the door and slid inside.

The study was probably the largest of any Regulus had been in before, if he didn’t know any better, he would have just assumed it was their private library. There were bookshelves from floor to ceiling covering any wall that wasn’t left open for windows or portraits, packed full to the brim with books, old journals, and spell books Regulus hadn’t even heard of. His desk was in front of a grand fireplace with what appeared to be an enchanted fire crackling in it. The desk was neat and tidy with only one blank sheet of parchment perfectly straight and laying in the centre of the desk with an inkpot and quill to its right and a lamp hovering over it to its left. 

With the number of books in the room, he was sure he would have to spend at least a few hours going by every shelf in the room to find it, but he didn’t have a couple of hours. At this rate, he had about 30 minutes at best. 

Racing through the shelves, quickly glancing at each nook, he finally stopped, realizing he was getting nowhere. He could tear apart the entire room, make it obvious someone had been searching for something or he could continue scanning shelves though that would waste too much time. He began pacing back and forth in front of the desk, thinking if he had any other options.

Fuck. This was such a stupid plan. We were nowhere near ready to be able to execute this. Why did I let this happen? Where the hell is that bloody diary? Oh fuck it.

He was sick of waiting around and sick of being sneaky. He just wanted to find that damn diary and leave. So, he marched up to the nearest bookshelf, and as much as it pained him, he began ripping books off shelves, throwing them behind him as he dug for anything. He ripped apart the room, looking through everything, but to no avail.

That house elf better not have lied.

And as if someone had answered him, he suddenly had a thought that hadn’t occurred to him. It’s July… Why is there a fire going in the fireplace?

He walked around the desk, stepping closer to the fireplace and crouched down a little, looking closer at the flame. Then he thought he could barely make out a room just behind the flames. That had to be where it was. 

“Aguamenti.” He said, pointing his wand at the fire and a jet of water sprayed from his wand, but it simply evaporated when it hit the flames, leaving them unharmed.

Regulus stared through the fire, trying his best to make out any details from the hidden room, but he couldn’t see much. The fire continued to crackle and wave in front of him. He could tell it had been enchanted, but he thought that had just been to keep the fire maintained safely in the fireplace. He reached towards the fire as it crackled and his hand grew hotter, but when he finally touched it, the flame didn’t burn nor did his clothes catch fire. He pushed his hand a little further through and any part of him that touched the flame felt as though it were just passing through warm air. He pulled his hand back out again then tried his other hand - it felt about the same.

This was either going to be the worst or best idea he’s had all week.

Ducking down to avoid hitting his head, he took a step forward into the fireplace and when the flames only seemed to wave around him, he took another step and another until he was no longer in the flame and instead stood in a small, stone room that only had stairs leading back down. He had no idea that a room like this existed in the manor and he had never seen anything like this anywhere else he had been. 

With not much time left, he quickly descended the stairs only lit by a lantern on the wall of each flight. Eventually, he came to the end of the stairs where the room opened up again and he was met with what looked like another, much smaller, study. But it looked nothing like the one upstairs. The one he had been in looked like it was fit for a prominent politician, but this one, this looked like someone had built a dungeon, filled it with every bit of illegal dark magic they could find and then placed a desk in the middle to call it a study.

Along the shelves were shrunken heads and oddly shaped skulls and something floating in a thick, purple liquid that may have once been someone’s fingers. There wasn’t much light either, a few lanterns hung on the walls and a few spots where the floor and wall met that seemed to dimly glow? Maybe it was sunlight peeking through? Either way, this was certainly the type of room he would expect a Death Eater to have and hide and definitely where he’d expect to find a horcrux. 

With not much time left, maybe 15 minutes if he had to guess, he continued his search, looking everywhere, high and low for any sign of a diary. Nothing.

“Shit…” He whispered to himself in frustration.

He checked his watch again - 10 minutes left. He continued to scramble through the room, looking for anything that could potentially hide a book, but he couldn’t find anything. In a moment of frustration, he kicked the leg of the desk in the centre of the room and it made a thunk as if something had moved and bumped something inside the desk. Quickly, he dropped to his knees and looked under the desk, pulling out his wand and tracing the perimeter of the underside. Then, the tip of his wand collided with something small and a latch appeared. Feeling his heart begin to race again, he pulled it open and out fell an old, black, leather bound journal to the ground. He quickly snatched it from the ground and turned it over, seeing the gold “TMR” pressed into the bottom right corner of the front cover. 

Then, the sounds of people shuffling and chattering began to stir up. It sounded as though it were just outside of the room he was currently in. The meeting must have ended already. He quickly glanced at his watch again, 3 minutes left.

“Oh fuck.” He whispered again, shutting the little trap door and scrambling to his feet.

He needed somewhere to go now. He knew he wouldn’t be able to go back down the stairs in the foyer, there were too many people around and he knew he wouldn’t have enough time to make it all the way back around again. He glanced back at the spot where he had thought he noticed sunlight and ran over to it.

Please let this be a way out.

He tucked the journal away into the inside pocket of his robes then placed both hands on the wall and gave it a push. With a bit of force, it slid open enough to slip out and he took a quick look around, trying not to be seen. The door seemed to lead into their dining hall where the meeting had taken place, hidden behind one of the large, marble statues that lined the room. Most people had filed out of the room, except for a few who hadn’t seemed to notice Regulus suddenly reappear from behind the statue. Most were too preoccupied with their own conversations to even realize that the Regulus they had been with for the last hour and was now awkwardly shuffling away, was starting to sprout strands of blonde hair. 

Keeping his head down, he marched towards the fake Regulus, grabbing his arm…? Her arm…? Their arm…? It was all very confusing… He grabbed the arm of the fake Regulus and pulled them both out of sight as quickly as possible and into a bathroom nearby.

Her hair really started to prominently peek through as his black hair began to rapidly grow and fade into her white blonde colour. Slowly, her face began to morph, his high and sharp cheekbones softening into her blushed cheeks and her height began to shrink down a little so she was now a few inches shorter again.

“Took you long enough!” She whispered angrily, smacking his shoulder.

“I’m sorry! It took longer to look than I thought! It’s a manor for fuck’s sake!” He whispered back.

“Did you at least get it?” She asked.

He patted his chest where the diary was sitting in his pocket, making a soft thudding sound. Her eyes immediately lit up as she grabbed both of his arms trying to maintain her excitement.

“Now all that’s left is sneaking you out of here.” Regulus said.

“Oh, don’t worry about that. I have an idea.” She smirked. “Just go back out there and leave normally and I’ll meet you back at your house. Oh also, be careful of Lucius, he’s pretty cross with that house elf right now. He smashed one of those marble statues earlier.”

He wasn’t sure what Dobby had done earlier, but he couldn’t say that was what he had expected.

“Are you sure you can get out?”

“Don’t worry! I’ve got this just fine.” She said as she walked over to the bathroom window and glanced around outside. “Yeah, this’ll work. Just go!”

A little confused on what her plan was, but not even knowing where to begin to ask questions, he left the bathroom, closing the door behind him as he was sure he heard the bathroom window slide open. 

Walking back out to the main foyer as if he had been there the whole time, he raised his chin a little and straightened his back, then he watched as Severus began to walk past him. Severus looked him over once and paused for a moment. He furrowed his brow at him, he looked sad, maybe angry, but he was clearly thinking about something. Regulus desperately wanted to look down at whatever he thought Severus might have been looking at, but he maintained his eye contact, holding his glare at him. Severus rolled his eyes and dramatically turned away from him, stalking off towards the front door. Regulus waited a moment then did the same, leaving Malfoy Manor with the diary in his pocket, his heart running up again and hope that no one was any the wiser.