The First Four Years
September 1st, 1972
“Stand up straight, boy!”
He straightened his back out of instinct, raising his chin a little and staring straight forward - though his eyes wanted to fall to his feet.
Regulus Black had looked forward to going to Hogwarts all his life. A chance for him to escape the harsh regime of his parents for a while and finally be with his brother in a place where they could be happy. That dream was crushed though, just a year prior when Sirius was placed in Gryffindor.
Of course. It was always like Sirius to be the rebel - the black sheep of the family.
Why did he have to leave him behind? Why couldn’t he, just for once, go along with the family tradition and just be a Slytherin? Centuries of the Black family always in Slytherin, broken by the one rebellious child who refused to say yes. Maybe he needed to be more like Sirius… No… He mustn't disobey.
The train whistled, signaling five minutes until departure. Regulus hurried along, two steps behind his mother, Walburga, who was walking at a brisk pace. Walburga was a sharp faced woman, stern in every look she gave, anger in every word she spoke. She always had her jet black hair perfectly pulled back in a tight bun, not a single strand out of place and she always wore pristine, black and green robes which seemed to broaden her shoulders a little more - or maybe that was just from the constant, upright, perfect posture. Come to think of it, Regulus wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen her slouch in his life.
Walburga came to a sudden halt near the end of the train where Regulus’ cousin, Narcissa, was waiting at the door impatiently for them. Narcissa was just as sharp-faced and pale as the rest of the Black family, but she no longer had the long, jet black hair like the rest of them. She had begun dying her hair a pale, blonde colour to match the hair of her boyfriend, Lucius Malfoy, however the colour seemed to only blend to her skin making her appear a little sickly.
“Where’s Sirius?” Narcissa asked, looking past Walburga.
Walburga fiercely turned around, looking for her eldest son who had been with them only a moment ago. Regulus spotted him, stopped a little further back, talking to a boy with messy, black hair and round glasses who was hanging halfway out of the train door.
“Sirius!” Walburga shouted.
Sirius jumped at the sudden call from his mother and quickly said goodbye to the boy he had been talking to before breaking into a sprint towards them.
“Yes, mother?” He asked, puffing out his chest a little, but still avoiding eye contact.
“You and Regulus are to ride with your cousin, Narcissa, all the way to Hogwarts. Do I make myself clear?” Walburga demanded.
“But mum I-”
“Do I make myself clear!?” Walburga repeated sternly.
Sirius lowered his head. “Yes mother.”
“And if I see you speaking with that Potter boy again, I’ll be bringing you straight home.”
Sirius nodded once without another word and quickly pushed past Narcissa onto the train. Narcissa scoffed at him as he passed.
“Goodbye, mother.” Regulus said, following behind his brother onto the train.
The train’s whistle blew again and steam began to billow out of the engine as the wheels lurched forward and the train took off. The moment the train pulled out of the station, Sirius stood from his seat in the compartment and pulled the door open, stepping outside and walking away. Regulus stood from his seat and followed after him, no one seemed to stop either of them from leaving.
“Sirius! Wait!” Regulus called after him.
Sirius stopped in his tracks and turned back to his little brother. He had a small smile on his face as his little brother ran to catch him.
“Where are you going? We’re supposed to stay with Narcissa.” Regulus reminded him.
“I’m going to sit with the Potter boy.” Sirius grinned. “You didn’t really think I was going to stay with them, did you? Besides, they don’t want me in there. Not like any of them came rushing for me.”
“I did.” Regulus said.
“Well Reg, I’m honoured and you are free to go back and join them if you’d like, but I’m going to sit with my friends.” Sirius said. He gave Regulus a pat on the shoulder, then turned away from him again, continuing down the train cars until he was no longer in sight.
~~~
“Gryffindor!”
Regulus dreaded the sorting hat ceremony. He didn’t think it would have been so bad if it weren’t for his brother being in Gryffindor. Their whole lives they were told that Gryffindors were just bumbling idiots with no real vision of their own futures. To be a Gryffindor in the Black family was to be a great disappointment. Sirius seemed to enjoy it though. He seemed quite proud to be a Gryffindor, though that could have been just because of how much it upset their mother.
Maybe the idea of being a Gryffindor wasn’t so bad. Sirius had told him what Hogwarts had been like for his first year in Gryffindor. It actually sounded a little fun… but he couldn’t disappoint his family the way that Sirius had no problem doing. He had a duty to withstand and expectations that he would be on the right path - whatever that was supposed to be.
As each name was called to sit on the stool and have the hat placed on their head, Regulus could feel his insides twisting. He thought maybe he was going to be sick, but he did his best to maintain his composure, looking around the room at anything else.
There to his left was the Slytherin table where Narcissa was sitting with her friends. They were all intently watching the sorting ceremony and whispering to each other, giggling every so often. To his right, the Gryffindor table where his brother, Sirius, was sitting with his friends - the Potter boy that their mother despised, a plump and skittish looking boy he knew was a Pettigrew, and a tall and skinny boy with dirty blonde hair and scars all over his face who he assumed was Remus, the boy Sirius had been talking about all summer. They were all laughing together, barely paying attention to the sorting ceremony. Regulus caught his eye for a second, but Sirius turned back to his friends without another glance.
“Regulus Black!” Professor McGonagall called.
Regulus almost jumped again at the sound of his name being called, then pushed through the other first years up to the stool where the hat Professor McGonagall held patiently waited.
Professor McGonagall was very similar to Walburga in the way that she had her hair tied back in a tight bun and how she wore emerald green robes, but she had a warmth to her. Something Walburga had never seemed to know.
Regulus sat on the stool and Professor McGonagall placed the hat on his head.
“Ah yes… another Black I see…” He heard a voice say, though no one else seemed to hear it. Was it reading his thoughts?
“You have many worries and a great deal of expectancy on your shoulders. They all want you to be one way, but you’re not sure if it’s the way to be… You could be in Gryffindor like your brother…” Regulus felt his stomach turn at that. “Hmm… interesting… better be… SLYTHERIN!”
McGonagall pulled the hat off of Regulus’ head and it took him a second to stand back up. His eyes immediately shot over to his brother who was now staring daggers at him. Regulus dropped his eyes down to his feet as he dragged himself over to the Slytherin table and sat down next to a few other first years.
Everyone was patting him on the back, congratulating him on making it into his family’s house, but he was sad… disappointed. Why was he disappointed? This was what he wanted, wasn’t it? This was where he was meant to be. The hat had decided that for him. It was his fate to be a Slytherin just like every other Black family member. Except for Sirius… black sheep, outcast, rebellious, Sirius Black - the family disappointment.
~~~
November 3rd, 1973
It was Sirius’ birthday. He was turning fourteen years old and Regulus had heard some rumours that there would be a party for him at Gryffindor tower. He knew there was no way he would be invited.
For the entirety of his first year at Hogwarts, Sirius had barely spoken to Regulus unless it was absolutely necessary. When they would pass each other in the halls, Sirius would continue walking without even batting an eyelash as if Regulus were just another ghost floating by.
He was always with that group of friends of his that called themselves “The Marauders” and Regulus learned quite quickly that they were rather well liked by most of the students, though the Slytherins would disagree. Regulus, however, did not seem to gain the same sort of popularity his brother had.
People knew him, of course, he was a Black afterall, but they didn’t seem to show him the same attention Sirius received. Regulus would hear girls whispering to each other when Sirius and James passed by, giggling and fawning over them. Even Remus seemed to attract some attention, though he didn’t carry himself in the way that Sirius and James did. He didn’t seem so cocky, but he wasn’t as meek as Peter. It seemed almost as if he just didn’t care too much for the attention.
The only attention Regulus ever seemed to receive were people staring at him as he quickly strolled by or jumping out of his way if they stepped into his path. He knew the only reason they feared him was because of his name. He didn’t like that people seemed to be afraid of him. The only people who didn’t show him that fear were his few friends he had made in Slytherin - Wulfric Mulciber and Severus Snape, both of which were a year ahead of him and Evan Rosier and Barty Crouch Jr., two boys in his year. There was also one girl from Ravenclaw who didn’t seem to fear him. Her name was Pandora Martou and she was a little strange, but Regulus quietly appreciated the friendliness she often showed to everyone.
By the time of his second year, everyone in Slytherin knew of Regulus Black. Whether they respected him or feared him, he didn’t really care anymore. Every step he took in that school, he began to hold his head a little higher. Every person that didn’t move out of his path in time, got shoulder checked and sneered at by his friends. He never once tried to stop them.
Narcissa had left Hogwarts at the end of his first year, leaving him as the only Black left in Slytherin. It gave him some sort of sense of superiority, a superiority that his friends only seemed to feed into.
A few times at the beginning of the year, he tried to speak to Sirius again, but once again he acted as if he had no brother. So, Regulus gave up.
“Honestly, it’s better this way.” Mulciber told him. “Do you really want to be associated with the blood traitors anyway?”
Did he?
~~~
September 13th, 1974
The Slytherin quidditch team was looking for a new seeker. Regulus had always wanted to be on a quidditch team. The closest he had ever come to really being able to play quidditch was when he and Sirius would go out to the garden and fly around on their training broomsticks as kids until Walburga scolded them for goofing around.
Sirius used to tell him that he thought he’d make a good seeker because of his smaller frame and how easily he could hide and sneak away when he wanted to.
“No, no, that’s not what I’m saying Reg! You’re quick… and- and you’re nimble! Besides, seekers have one of the most important jobs!” He had said to Regulus when he snuck them a late night snack after Walburga had sent Sirius to bed with no dinner again.
The Slytherin tryouts were booked on a cold and rainy day. Normally, rain would put off a tryout, but Regulus saw it as a better way for him to spot the golden snitch.
A few other Slytherins who were older and frankly more prepared than Regulus, came to the tryouts as well. None of them seemed too bothered by Regulus’ presence at the tryout, but that didn’t mean they didn’t show off when it was their turn to catch the snitch.
Regulus was the last of them to try out for the team. When they called his name, he swung his leg over his broom and kicked off the ground, soaring up into the air to join the rest of the team.
“On my mark, Black!” The team captain called out, raising the snitch up into the air in his hand. Then, he blew his whistle and released the snitch. The rest of the team began playing quidditch normally around him as he shot off in search for the snitch.
He had no problem swerving around the other flyers and avoiding the bludgers as he searched for the snitch and it didn’t take him much time at all before he spotted it and had it in his grasp.
When his feet hit the ground and he held out the snitch to the captain, everyone seemed to crowd around him, all of them patting him on the back and telling him just how great his tryout had been. He hadn’t thought it had been anything that special, he just did what he was supposed to do, but everyone assured him it had been graceful and quick.
“Welcome to the team, Black.” The captain said to him with a smirk. “It’s gonna be Black vs. Black, that’ll be interesting for sure.”
“What do you mean?” Regulus asked.
“Didn’t you hear? Your brother made it onto the Gryffindor team just the other day with Potter. He’s their new beater.” The captain explained, before shaking his head and leaving for the changerooms.
His brother had made it onto the Gryffindor team? He had no idea Sirius was even interested in trying out. He felt a surge of determination pulse through his veins. If Sirius was good enough to play for Gryffindor, then Regulus had to be better.
He was the better Black, the one the family counted on - the one that could never disappoint them.
~~~
December 24th, 1975
Sirius had gone too far this time. He always pushed things as far as he could with their parents, but never in all of his life did Regulus think he would cause something so horrible. He always knew his mother could be an exceptionally cruel woman, but it was on Christmas Eve when he learned just how cruel she could really be.
Everyone from the Black family had been invited to their home for a Christmas Eve dinner which they held every year. It was expected that everyone was dressed properly and if you put so much as a toe out of line, it meant a beating afterwards. Regulus and Sirius had to greet each family member with grace as they arrived and when dinner was served, they were expected to have manners and stay quiet unless spoken to, but Sirius couldn’t even manage that.
Regulus knew that their family could be incredibly horrible. They often said appalling things, usually something about the sanctity of being purebloods and how the mudbloods were going to ruin the wizarding world. Even their own house elf, Kreacher, often said hateful things about anyone who wasn’t a pureblood, but he still tried to show the old house elf some kindness. He was getting a little old afterall.
Sirius couldn’t stand it, he couldn’t hold his tongue. He was far braver than Regulus would ever be.
During their dinner, their cousin Bellatrix kept going on about how she was grateful to be serving the “Dark Lord” and how he was going to be the one that purified the wizarding world. She just kept going on and Regulus could see the fury that was bubbling in Sirius. His face had grown red and his hands were grasping his utensils so tightly, he was surprised they didn’t break.
Then, Bellatrix said something completely awful that he didn’t care to repeat which lit the fuse and that was that.
Sirius had shot up from his seat, screaming at Bellatrix and most of the people that sat around them, calling them all monsters and pure evil.
“Sit down this instant!” Walburga yelled at him, but he continued on.
“No! You are all disgusting! Vile! All of you! How can you sit here and listen to this and nod your heads like you agree?” He screamed, then he said it. “If I ever become anything like any of you, if I ever join you, then kill me! End my suffering then and there because that’s the day that I-”
“ENOUGH!” Walburga screamed, standing so furiously from her chair that it flew back.
Sirius didn’t say another word, but stormed off, slamming the door behind him. Walburga did not move, but Bellatrix stood from her seat and followed after him with a malicious smile. Not too long later, she had called for Walburga and she and his father, Orion, both left the table.
Most people had gotten up and left the table to mingle in another room, that was when Regulus went to find Sirius. He was sure he knew which room he would have gone to first and headed straight towards the library. As he walked down the hallway, a blood-curdling scream echoed down the corridor. Regulus broke into a sprint and when he reached the door to the library, it had been magically locked.
He pounded his fists on the door, yelling “LET ME IN!” over and over again, but no one opened the door. Tears began swelling in his eyes as he banged and kicked at the door that wouldn’t so much as budge. He could hear the screams over and over again, he knew they were Sirius, but what was he to do?
The Potters. They would help.
Regulus bolted straight for his room and grabbed the first piece of parchment and quill he could find and scribbled out a note that would quickly get the message across.
Sirius is in trouble. Please help.
- R.A.B.
It was all he could think to write, but it didn’t matter. He ran for the family owls and sent one off as quickly as possible before running back to the library to try once again to get in. When he reached the door, it swung open and Bellatrix came strolling out, laughing with the same malicious smile from before and leaving the door wide open as Walburga and Orion followed out behind her.
“Stay out of it or you’ll have some too.” Walburga warned him as she passed by, heading back to the guests all in the living room. His father slammed the door to the library behind him saying nothing but shooting him a warning glare.
Once they were all out of sight, Regulus cracked the door open, looking around for Sirius. In front of their fireplace, he was laying on the floor, breathing heavily and trying to pull himself closer to the fireplace. He looked as if he was inches away from death, but he was still so determined to reach the fireplace. Regulus wasn’t sure what for until he saw the dust in his hand. He had just managed to pull himself up enough to step into the fireplace.
“Wait Sirius! I-” Regulus called after him, but with a flash of emerald flames, he was gone.
Regulus didn’t see him again until the holidays were over and his parents acted as if they had only ever had one son.