He sits on the Stark couch, cocooned in one of Tony’s old sweatshirts and wrapped in the purple comforter from Morgan’s bed.
It’s been two weeks since the news of his alleged crime broke and his identity was leaked. He’s spent those fourteen days moping around the lakehouse and trying to deal with the overstimulation that came with his life going to hell. It isn’t terrible with Pepper doting on him and Morgan reading him stories from her fairy tale books but the situation isn’t ideal either. Peter wants to be back home, in Queens, where he used to feel safe. He wants Aunt May and the house they created. He wants Ned to come over with his newest Lego set for them to build and MJ to follow despite Legos being “childish” and “a waste of time”. He wants the three of them working together and talking about decathlon while listening to Aunt May in the background
He wants to do anything but sulk around the Stark residence.
“I called your Aunt this morning, she says there are still reporters outside your building,” Pepper says. She’s been handling this well. Peter guesses dealing with Tony, especially during his early Iron Man days, gave her plenty of practice when it comes to minimizing damages. Peter’s grateful but doesn’t deserve this. He isn’t close to Pepper, not like he was to Tony, but she had offered him a space in her home with open arms and no questions asked. He didn’t want her to feel obligated to care because of his relationship with Tony or Happy’s with May.
“Is she okay?” He speaks quietly, voice barely above a whisper. Anything louder hurts after not using his voice for days.
“Yes, Happy is still watching after her.” Pepper sits next to him. She touches his shoulder. Peter wonders if she used to try and comfort Tony this way. Maybe she uses it on Morgan now that Tony’s gone. He shifts closer. “They wanted to know how you’re doing.”
Peter tries to pull the comforter tighter. His hands are caught somewhere under the blanket and he can’t grab the edges. “I could be worse,” he finally says, giving up on the blanket. Peter’s lying completely slumped against Pepper now, she hasn’t pushed him away and he assumes it’s alright.
“Everyone could be worse, but we want to know how you’re feeling right now.”
“I feel…” How does he feel? It’s been two weeks but it still feels like it was just yesterday that he lost everything. It still feels like the world is watching him like they’re going to find him if he’s not careful. “I feel like I screwed up. Like everyone I care about is in danger because I trusted the wrong person.”
“Peter…They’re not in danger, we’ll make sure of it, alright?”
“How? Everyone knows who I am. I had enemies. They weren’t very powerful, but they still hated me. What if they go after May?” Peter struggles up into a sitting position, hands fighting the comforter. “Or Ned and MJ? This is all my fault. Oh god, I can’t lose them, Mrs. Stark.”
Pepper doesn’t say anything. She lets Peter struggle, she lets him cry, and then she holds him. No longer trapped by the comforter he’s curled up next to her. She strokes his hair as he sobs, whispering, “It’s not your fault.”
“Mr. St...Stark trusted me. He left me EDITH because he trusted me and then I go and give it away. Mysterio...Beck, he was gonna kill hundreds of people.”
“Peter,” Pepper pulls Peter so he’s lying against her. He tucks his head onto her shoulder. “Everyone makes mistakes. God knows Tony did but it didn’t make him any less of a hero.”
“He’d hate me.”
“Peter, look at me.” He tilts his head just enough to look in her eyes. “Tony would never hate you, he couldn’t. You were his kid. Figuring out time travel? He did it because of the slight chance he could bring you back. What Tony did was for you. It was for Morgan and Harley. It was so the three of you would have a chance to grow together.”
“Everyone was asking me if I was going to be the next Iron Man and I...I didn’t want to be the next Iron Man.” He looks up at Pepper, tears shining in his eyes. “I just wanted to be me. And Beck he…He ruined that. He told everyone who I was. He put a target on my family’s backs because I stopped him.”
“Nothing is going to happen to you or your friends.” Pepper wipes the tears from his eyes. It’s soft, the kind of thing Aunt May and Uncle Ben used to do when Peter had fallen or came home after a bad quiz. “I haven’t told you this yet because I didn’t want you to worry. It’s just a precaution, but everyone close to you currently has a guardian Avenger.”
“Huh?”
“We knew you would want your friends to be safe and the Avengers were all happy to help. Clint is currently working with Happy to ensure nothing happens to May. Wanda and Dr. Strange are watching over Ned and MJ. As we speak, T’challa and Shuri are working on a petition to the public to listen to reason.”
“Why? Why is everyone…Why?”
“For you. We all care about you and by association, your family. The Avengers, we protect our own.”
“But I’m…I’m not an Avenger? I don’t…I don’t understand.”
Pepper wraps her arms around him. “There’s not a single one of us who doesn’t regret not being there for you. You went through something alone that you shouldn’t have had to.”
And Peter doesn’t know what to say. Did they want to be there? Why weren’t they? Did they think he could handle it himself? Did he disappoint the Avengers?
Instead, he says, “The Avengers have gone through worse on their own.”
“But they’re not sixteen. Peter, what happened to you is horrible and we’re going to do our best to make sure nothing happens to anyone you care about.”
The Avengers are watching his friends because they cared. Peter wonders if they know. MJ, probably. She’s perceptive. Happy must have told May something. Ned probably has no idea he’s being watched. Peter trusts the Avengers. They’re safe. But…
“I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize for anything.”
“But that’s the thing. I do. I pulled you into this. I pulled Morgan into this. What if something happens to one of you?”
“Sam and Bucky have been patrolling the premises every day since you arrived. Rhodey’s on standby and so am I. Nothing’s going to happen to any of us and if something comes then you are going to take Morgan into the panic room and let us handle it.”
“…Panic room?”
“Tony insisted on it when we bought the house. We’ve never had to use it, but inside are suits. They’re meant for protection, not fighting.”
“Mr. Stark’s suits?”
“I know what you’re thinking, stop. Tony would want you to use the suits if it meant keeping you safe.”
“But do I have a right to? After everything I did.”
“You have just as much of a right to them as Rhodey and I do and I don’t want to hear you say anything otherwise.”
“Yes, ma'am.”
“Good. Now, I want you to go wake Morgan up while I get lunch started. Okay?”
“Okay,” Peter nods.
Pepper lets him go and leaves the couch. Peter stays, rewrapped up in the blanket and staring forward. Then he finally lets the blanket fall. He closes his eyes and can pick out two sets of footsteps in the surrounding woods.
Peter’s never been alone, not once in his life. There’s always been someone there looking after him, even now that’s he’s screwed they’re still there making sure he’s alright and Peter? Well, he’s not alright and won’t be for a long time, but he’ll get there.