Bravo
Tony jumped in his seat as Pepper’s hand collided with the back of his head, startling him out of a doze just as a new performance was about to begin. He quickly wiped the drool off his chin with the back of his hand. A glance at the others around his table showed mixed expressions of amusement and exasperation but none were surprised. The Captain and Pepper were the only ones shooting him disapproving looks. He just rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair. He hadn’t wanted to come to this fundraiser in the first place. They couldn’t expect him to stay awake the whole time as well.
With a sigh, he turned his attention back to the singer on stage. His brow furrowed in confusion as he tilted his head to the side. Was that…no…but…
Leaning to the side, he whispered to Bruce, “That’s a man, isn’t it?”
Bruce shook his head, “She’s wearing a dress, Tony.”
“So?”
He just rolled his eyes.
Tony leaned the other way toward Pepper.
“Shh,” she hissed before he could even open his mouth.
He pouted but backed off again, studying the she-man instead. No, it was definitely a cross-dresser. He was sure of it. He was much too buff to be a chick. When the performance finally ended, Tony stood with the rest of his table, applauding and calling out, “Bravo!”
Cap frowned at him, “It’s brava for women, Tony.”
“I’m aware,” he shrugged as everyone returned to their seats and dinner was served, much to Tony’s delight. “That’s why I said bravo.”
Steve sighed and rubbed his temple, “That was a woman, Tony.”
“You clearly were a Capsicle for too long if you thought that was a woman.”
“It was, Tony,” Clint chimed in, Natasha nodding enthusiastically beside him.
“I must agree, Man of Iron. That human was male,” Thor’s thundering voice echoed, making occupants of other tables glance over in alarm. Jane waved them off, used to having to apologize for her somewhat oblivious boyfriend, but she seemed intent to keep out of this argument.
Tony turned to Pepper but she just shook her head, “I’m not getting in the middle of this.”
“Neither am I,” Bruce said. “I’m not going to take sides.”
Tony rolled his eyes, “Whatever. I still say it was a man.”
Clint smirked, “If you’re so sure, how about putting some money on it?”
“Money? Nah, I have enough of that. How about…the one that loses has to…” He paused to think before leaning forward with a grin and whispering the terms of the bet to his fellow Avengers. The women rolled their eyes and, in tandem, stood to mingle with the crowd. Steve sighed and continued to rub his temple even as his lips twitched. Bruce looked up to the ceiling as if it would hold some sort of explanation to his friend’s craziness. Thor was chuckling loudly, thoroughly amused. Clint, however, was smirking as if he knew he was going to win. Tony reached across the table to shake his hand, smirking as well. “Let the best man win, Katniss.”
Clint rolled his eyes at the nickname. Glancing behind Tony, he grinned, “Perfect timing.”
Tony spun in his seat to see the she-man standing not so far away, chatting with a nice-looking elderly couple. Grinning, he waved him/her over when he/she happened to glance in their direction. A blush rose on the he/she’s cheeks but he/she came over anyway.
Tony gave his best million dollar smile, “We just wanted to say how much we loved your performance. We can’t stop talking about it.”
He/She blushed again and smiled, “Thanks, doll.” Another person called him away, leaving the Avengers gaping after him.
“Well, I’ll be damned,” Steve muttered, surprising everyone again. The Captain never swore. Tony couldn’t blame him for doing it now, though. That voice had been deeper than the Grand Canyon.
Grinning, he punched the air, “Ha! I win! I so told you!”
A week later, Fury could be seen storming through the halls of SHEILD, muttering under his breath about bets, idiotic children, she-males, and killing a hawk. Nobody mentioned his very pink, My Little Pony eye patch or the words “HAWKEYE WAS HERE” written in Sharpie across his forehead.