Chapter 4
Steve waits a beat, then asks gently, “what do you want to know?”
“You knew him when he was young. Was he - I mean, would I have liked him? Would he -”
Steve stares down at his hands, then looks up at Tony’s profile, his eyes are looking at the road ahead of him, but his jaw is tight, and his hands are gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles are white. “Yeah, I think he would have liked you very much, Tony. He was a pain in the ass, but he was brilliant and funny as hell. He was my friend and I still miss him.
When I watched you fall in New York, I froze. There was nothing I could do to help you, but Bruce caught you just before you hit the ground. And then, I thought you were dead, and then you weren’t. I’m not good at relationships, or trusting people. I keep losing everyone who is important to me, and I didn’t want you to be important to me, because it’s easier not to care too much. I know that sounds awful, and now I know I was wrong.”
“Wrong about what?” Tony whispers.
“I was wrong about you. You are a lot like your dad, but you are a decent person. You actually care about people. He cared as long as they could be of use to him. I know he liked me, but I was also a successful experiment. I was a specimen more than a person to him. What I said to you on that ship - that you wouldn’t sacrifice yourself - obviously I was wrong, and I’m sorry, Tony.”
“Hey. I know you don’t need to eat much, but there’s a Burger King. We’re ahead of schedule anyway.”
“Tony.”
Tony turns into the parking lot, parks the car, and rests his head on the steering wheel for a moment. “I’m not good at this stuff either. I flew that nuke up there because I couldn’t see any other option and I couldn't let all those people die, including you. I didn’t want to do it. I knew the odds were small, okay, they were fucking infinitesimal, that I would make it back. Alright? I still don’t know how and why I survived that fall. I’m a scientist, an engineer, a mathematician, Steve. I shouldn’t be here, but I am. And right now, I really need a cheeseburger. Coming?”
“Right behind you.”