next best man
James Buchanan Barnes was an asshole in high school.
This shouldn’t really come as a shock — everyone’s an asshole in high school. Something about waking up early to learn about shit that won’t matter once you graduate makes teenagers into little monsters. Fortunately for him, Bucky was also fairly popular. He was good at football, a decent addition to the basketball team, dabbled in debate for a little while. He was an asshole, for sure, but not necessarily disliked by the masses. His home life was good. His parents were happy. He’d enlisted for the Marine Corps. His life was pretty much perfect.
And then the spring of senior year happened.
Every teenager can mark the moment where they changed. Adulthood is palpable — you can always feel the shift that makes you into a different person than you were before.
For Bucky, that shift was in the spring of his senior year, and that shift was named Steve Rogers.
Steve was the first boy that ever caught Bucky’s eye. Now, in time, he would realize that this crush was a beautiful and essential first step to blossoming into his sexuality, but at the time, poor Bucky was just more confused than anything.
Poor, stupid Bucky.
Poor, stupid Bucky was sheltered by his surroundings (read: rich white male privelege) and ignorant to the world around him. One thing he was not ignorant to, however, was that Steve was not always named Steve, and that once, he had a name that was more feminine, the name that his parents gave him when he was born. Steve grew up wearing frilly pink dresses and playing in his mom’s shoes until he realized that he hated the length of his hair and the color pink and the way that his breasts grew when he turned 11. So he changed his name and started taking hormones at 14. And soon, his body finally got the memo that he was a boy.
And that was great for Steve, really, but it gave Bucky more questions than anything. Because he liked Steve — a boy with full lips and soft eyes. And that meant that he wasn’t straight. There was no getting around it. So he did what any irrational teenager struggling with their sexuality would do.
He fucking lost his shit.
He panicked. How could he not? He was about to become a Marine. Marines were tough and gritty.
Marines were not gay.
~
Frank Castle is a creature of habit. It doesn’t take long for Bucky to remember this fact — Frank moves like there’s someone behind a computer screen giving him directions. The occasional falter in his step, even it follows a rhythm.
Castle is a military boy, through and through.
It shows constantly — even now, as they sit in a near empty diner, filling up on stale 3am coffee. Frank holds his cup out for the waitress, calls her ma’am and thanks her profusely even though it’s gotta be the worst cup of joe he’s had in his life. Once she’s out of earshot, Frank leans back, lifting out of the seat a bit to settle in more comfortably. He’s looking at Bucky with this confusion, this amusement.
Frank wants to hear a story.
“You just gonna sit there,” he asks eventually, his voice sounding like he eats gravel for dinner, “or you gonna start talkin, huh?”
Bucky snorts, taking a sip of his coffee — he keeps forgetting how nasty it is. “What, am I the enemy now?”
Frank shrugs, a little frown on his face as he takes a quick glance out the window. “I don’t know what you are.”
Barnes shakes his head, sighing. It makes sense, Castle’s wariness. Especially with the fairly recent events concerning one Billy Russo. But Bucky has questions of his own, some of which he knows Frank will never answer. That’s the most unfair thing about it all: this isn’t the same guy that Barnes is used to. Maybe that Frank died when his family did. Or maybe Bucky has it all wrong and shouldn’t be jumping to conclusions ten minutes after reconnecting with a man who’s legally dead.
But that doesn’t matter right now. Maybe it’s ridiculously one sided, and maybe Frank will walk right out of this diner the moment he gets the information he wants, but that isn’t what’s important. Bucky wouldn’t wish a life off the grid for anyone, especially not someone he served with, fought with, would have given his life for. Not to be annoying or anything, but at the very least, Bucky owes this to Frank. He knows that.
“Ask me anything,” Bucky says finally, leaning back and relaxing his arms. Trying to appear open, friendly.
“Who you workin’ for?” Frank’s voice still hasn’t lost that edge. He’s just not going to let his guard down, is he?
“Look,” Bucky starts, wanting to reassure Frank before anything else. This was going to sound worse than it really was. “I’m not gonna tell anyone where you are, okay? I need you to know that.” Frank makes a noise that sounds sarcastic, so Bucky takes in a breath and then confesses. “I work for the government.”
“Jesus fucking Christ—”
“It’s not like that,” Bucky says, holding his palms toward Frank. “I’m not a fed, okay? I’m a private gun under a CIA division. I work for the government, I’m not a part of it.”
Frank sits back, his eyes distrustful. “A fuckin’ hitman for the CIA, huh? Who signs your checks? Who do you work for?”
“Listen to me,” Bucky grunts, his voice straining. “Listen to me, okay? You’re not gonna touch her, alright? She sent me here for a reason, if you have a problem with me, that’s fine, but we’re just doing our jobs.”
Frank’s massive hand comes up to his face, index finger and thumb running down the corners of his mouth. “Who is she?”
“Her name is Dinah Madani, alright—” Before Bucky can finish, maybe threaten Frank with death if he dares hurt her, Frank is doing that scary ass laugh again (Bucky is not ever going to get used to that shit).
“Oh, you’re shittin’ me.” He trails off with a sigh. “Goddamnit, Barnes. She couldn’t have me so she took the next best man.”
Bucky doesn’t even have time to be offended, he’s too confused. This is not how he saw that reveal going, so excuse him for being a little discombobulated. “I’m sorry, did I miss something?”
Frank doesn’t bother answering, instead getting up and setting three crumpled five dollar bills on the table. “Next time you see your boss, tell her Frank asked how the new job’s going.”