Diego. Mary had been thinking about that name the whole night, turns out she couldn't sleep, at all, so she stayed up the whole night thinking, feeling, regretting stuff; it was early in the morning when she reached for the little box where the letter's were, she just stared at them, she didn't take any letter out, she didn't even touch them, she just looked. She doesn't even know how long she stayed like that, or when had she started crying, she just noticed the tears on the box and the floor, but even then, she didn't move.
It was a little past noon when Mary was walking through the walls looking for Mother Superion, she found her in her office, talking with Beatrice; she looked at them confused before slowly leaving the room to wait out in the hall, it was a matter of a few minutes before Mother Superion told her she could come in.
"I won't take much of your time, do you know the orphanage or whatever the name is where Ava came from?" , she asked, looking around office like it was her first time there, "I do, but why do you want to know that?", questioned Mother Superion, looking at her confused with an eyebrow raised, Mary had no option but to show her the letter, "Ava left this, for a kid named Diego, I assume is the little kid she knew from that place, I have to deliver it to him; and I was also wondering if you'd come with me?", this took the older woman by surprise, so she just kept staring at her, waiting an explanation.
"I don't want to be questioned and, you're a nun, they won't make any questions", the oldest woman nodded after a few seconds, she grabbed the keys of the car that they could use and gave them to Mary, both women were about to leave when they heard Beatrice, "Can, can I come? I, I wanna, uh", she stayed quiet, not sure of what she needed to say, of what she wanted to say, she just knew that she needed to go with them, she needed to meet Diego. The older women looked at each other before nodding; the three of them left the place and got in the car in complete silence, Mary was the one in the driver seat while Mother Superion was next to her, leaving Beatrice on the back seat; the drive was mostly silent except for Mother Superion's instructions for Mary.
After a while, they reached the orphanage, and none of them could get out of the car, Mary held the letter so tight her knuckles went white; it took them some moments to get out of the car and walk to the door, they entered the place and looked around until a nun spotted them and talked to them, thanks to Mother Superion, not many questions were asked and they were led to the room where Diego was; of course, Mother Superion was the first one to enter the room, finding a little boy looking at her confused. The nun who led them was quickly sent away, leaving the three women and the boy a little nervous, the oldest woman walked towards him and offered him a smile, "We are friends of Ava", Diego's eyes lit up at the name, quickly looking at the three of them before staring at the door for a few moments, Mary also looked back to it, hoping to see Ava coming in, she held Shannon's necklace to try and calm down, feeling tears on the corner of her eyes.
"Where's Ava?", he asked after a few seconds, looking back at the women, Mother Superion looked at Mary and motioned her to give him the letter, which she did, Diego took the letter and stared at it, confused at the handwriting, "I'm sorry kid", that's all she could say, it seemed enough, because Diego quickly sniffed, holding back tears. He slowly opened the letter, and Mary couldn't see him, so she quickly left the room and sat outside in the hallway, once again holding Shannon's necklace tightly, trying to calm down.
Inside the room, Mother Superion and Beatrice looked around the room while Diego began reading the letter.
Hey bud,
If you're reading this, I'm sorry, but I'm not around anymore. I really don't know what to tell you except that I'm sorry, I really wanted things to be different, if I had had the opportunity to change what happened I would take it, because I really wanted things to be different. Diego I planned on coming back for you, my plan was to come back as soon as everything was fixed, as soon as I knew what happened to me, as soon as I was able to take care of you; I promise you that that was my plan, that's what I wanted to do because I wanted to take you out of this place.
And I'm sorry I didn't come back, I could give you a million excuses on why I didn't but they would be lies, because I don't know why I decided not to come back, maybe it was fear of the nuns finding out about me, or maybe everything was happening really fast and I didn't have time, or maybe I was afraid of coming back and not being able to take you with me, I don't know, but I regret it. You'd be amazed by how awesome life is outside this place, there are so many things out there, places, foods, everything is amazing, there are so many beautiful places, places you don't even know about that have this beauty that makes you fall in love with it.
Remember when you told me to make the most out of this? Well I did, I lived so many things, I got drunk, I danced, I learned to fight, and not to brag but I'm pretty cool at that, and I also learned to swim, and to write, and I found a family, but, it didn't feel complete, because you weren't in it, without you, my life felt incomplete, because I found many types of love, friend's love, sister's love, lover's love, but I still needed your love, I needed my little bro's love. And yes, I know that you're not going to ignore that lover's love I wrote, and the truth is that maybe it's not lover's love, because I don't know if that person loves me like that, but I fell in love pretty hard, with this girl, named Beatrice; now, I know what the nuns told us about this love, but know, that the love I feel for her is the purest form of love I've felt for another human being, of course next to the love I feel for you.
Beatrice gave me a reason to live the new life I had, but you Diego, you gave me a reason to live every day I lived in this place, you were the one that was with me in my darkest days, the one who always made me smile and the one who made me feel loved every day. Diego you're the reason why I did what I did, you heard about the angel that came our of the Vatican? Guess who beat his ass? That's right, I did, and I did it so you and everyone else I love could live happily, so I don't really regret doing it. But I still regret not coming back for you.
I'm really sorry buddy, I wanted to live this new life with you and I'm sorry I had to leave you in this hell of a place. And I love you, I feel like I never said it, and if I said it then it wasn't enough because I love you so much I would give the world for you; Diego I want you to know that I love you more than you can think about, and that I would always give my life so you could live yours.
With all the love I can offer, your big sis Ava.
Diego finished reading the letter and immediately looked up to the women who couldn't look back at him, he stayed quiet for a few moments before trying to talk, "Is any of you Beatrice?", he questioned, his voice a bit shaky by the knot in the throat he felt, Beatrice looked at him and nodded, seeing Diego smile almost instantly before it disappeared, a look of confusion taking it's place, "Did, did you make Ava happy?", he asked, concerned in his eyes, Beatrice stayed still for a few seconds before nodding her head slowly, thinking if she truly made Ava happy the time they spent together, but these thoughts were quickly destroyed as soon as she remembered Ava's smile and eyes every time they were together.
The young boy simply smiled once more before putting the letter in a small drawer next to his bed, Beatrice couldn't help but look at the bed next to the boy's bed, Diego quicky pointed out that it was Ava's old bed, as soon as Beatrice heard those words, she quickly left the room, once again feeling that pain in her chest at the memories of Ava. The boy looked at Mother Superion, who was walking towards the door, "Madre (Mother)", he said, gaining the older woman's attention, who looked back to him "¿Puedo hacerle una pregunta? (Can I ask you something?)", he asked, fidgeting with his fingers to try and calm down his nerves; "Dime (Tell me)", she answered, walking towards him and sitting on the edge of his bed, "La noche que Ava revivió, vino a verme, yo le pedí que aprovechara esta oportunidad y viviera, ella me prometió que lo haría, que viviría, ¿cumplió con su promesa? (The night that Ava came back to life, she came to see me, I ase=ked her to make the most out of this and live, she promised she would, that she would live, did she keep her promise?), he asked, not sure if he really wanted to know the answer. Mother Superion simply smiled and nodded her head, "En sus circunstancias, si, cumplió con su promesa (In her circunstances, yes, she did keep her promise); Diego seemed to feel better after hearing it, he nodded and Mother Superion got up to leave the room, not before saying goodbye.
Mary was no longer in the hallway, she was outside, standing next to the car, and Beatrice was pacing around the hallway, taking deep breathes to calm down. As soon as Beatrice saw Mother Superion, she followed her back to the car, the three women got inside of it and stayed completely silent on their way back to the Cat's Cradle. Beatrice was the first one to get out of the car, quickly going inside, straight to her room, Mother Superion was next, she started to walk slowly, she stopped walking when she heard a loud thump coming from behind her, Mary was on the floor, a full stream of tears falling to the floor as she tired to stop them, getting frustrated when she realized she couldn't stop them. She began hitting the floor, her knuckles slowly starting to bleed. Mother Superion didn't stop her until there was a small puddle of blood on the floor.
She helped Mary stand up before hugging her tight, her hands shaking from the pain, they didn't pull away until Mary wanted to, the older woman just looked at her and motioned her to follow her, they both went to the office, where Mother Superion told Mary to sit while she grabbed a first-aid kit, and gently began cleaning up the blood from Mary's knuckles. "Want to tell me why you did that?", she asked, not looking up, her eyes focused on the blood, "I, I say the pictures, that were on the wall of Ava's side, there were so many things she, she wanted to do, so- so many places she wanted to visit and- and she couldn't and I can't help but- fuck- but think of Shannon, I can't help but think of all the things we wanted to do together and we couldn't because she was the Halo bearer, and- and Ava, she had just- started a life, and she couldn't live, she couldn't because she was the Halo bearer and now she's gone and it hurts-", she said, more tears coming down her cheek.
The older woman started bandaging the younger girl's knuckles, making sure to be as gentle as possible to not cause more pain. She knew how Mary felt, and she knew she needed this, she needed to let out stamina, she needed to hit things so she could feel other type of pain that didn't bother her, a pain that she knew would go away after some weeks. And loss isn't one of those pains. So the older woman understood Mary, that's why she wasn't mad, nor disappointed at her for showing her pain in such a violent way. "Mary, Ava isn't really gone, okay? We'll bring her back, I promise. And please, next time you feel like hitting something, come to see me after you're done so I can treat any wounds you might have", she said gently, the younger woman just nodded, slowly and quietly leaving the room.
She went straight to her bedroom, deciding to skip training day, she sat down on her bed and looked at the box, realizing whose letter was next. She took a shaky breath before laying down on bed and looking at the ceiling. "Ava, you're an asshole", she once again looked back at the box. The next person in the list was Mother Superion, and Mary had no fucking idea on how to give it to her.