god bucky loved tony so much. he'd been with him through all of his most recent relationships, even if tony doesn't remember him, he never payed much attention to him. but bucky was always there for him. he had to watch the train wreck of his toxic relationship with steve, the beginning and end of him dating rhodes though they're still as close as they were, the brief and not very good relationship with thor. bucky was a constant of sorts in tony's life. he'd been there for years, he'd tried his best to comfort him in his darker moments. tony knew exactly how bucky felt about him, he'd spilled his guts to him so many times to him about what he meant to him. he just never responded in the way bucky wanted. they flirt like madmen around each other, bucky has seen him in very compromising situations, most of which tony orchestrated. they also talked about having a possible sexual relationship but it never took off anywhere. bucky wished more than anything else he could monopolize tony's love and attention. he'd do anything for it, well, anything except pushing tony. he'd deal with every day of heartbreak if he could keep even tony's friendship. it hurts, knowing that he'll never have him, but when had anything in his life been anything other than pain. bucky would give up every sense of identity he gained for himself for tony's love. maybe one day he'll be happy. maybe not.