Chapter 4
After parking the car in the driveway, Edward used the vanity mirror to make sure his hair was smoothed down to a level he found satisfactory.
“How many times do I have to tell you I hate that look on us?” His other self said from his spot in the backseat.
“What are you doing here?” Edward growled at the reflection in the mirror. He had hoped, apparently in vain, that he wouldn’t join him tonight.
“I’m just here to help,” his other self said with a shrug. “If I thought you could manage this on your own, then I wouldn’t be here.”
“I can manage this on my own. I don’t need you.”
“Yeah, sure,” he said with a wry chuckle. “Can you guarantee that weird, jittery, socially awkward Ed won’t make an appearance tonight? Like he almost did on the phone, I might add.”
“Yes, I can,” Edward said with as much certainty as he could muster.
“I’ve got to admit that you’ve been doing better. You and I are almost one in the same all the time now. But, if anything can cause a relapse, it’s going to be her. I don’t think either one of us really wants that.”
“You don’t know what I want.”
With a smirk, the Edward in the backseat said, “Of course I do. I am you, remember? I’m just not afraid to do whatever it takes to get it….or her.”
“She hated what you did. She hated me for what you did. How is that helping?”
“Ugh, how many times do we have to have this conversation? Do you really think she preferred you the way you were before? When you were a nerd? A loser? Of course not. For some reason, she did find you oddly endearing. But, that’s a long way from what we want. A woman like that needs strength…power….confidence. Traits that I have, and you sorely lack.”
“I don’t trust you,” the Edward in the front seat muttered.
“I’m not asking you to.”
———————————
“Miss Y/n, there’s someone here to see you,” Alfred said when he entered the study. From the look on his face, he didn’t appear to be pleased.
“I’ll be right there,” you said, getting up from your chair.
“Who would be visiting you here?” Natasha asked. You could tell that she was already on high alert.
“Only one way to find out,” you replied as you exited the room.
When you made your way to the front hall, you found a tall, lean figure standing propped against the wall.
“Hey, Y/n,” Edward said with a grin.
“What are you doing here?” You asked, skipping the formalities.
“Just wanted to make sure you made it in alright.”
“A phone call would have sufficed.”
“Maybe, but then I wouldn’t have gotten to see you.”
“I’m seeing and hearing an awful lot of you, considering Oswald is the one doing this favor for me.”
“We decided it was best if he didn’t have contact, in case he’s being watched. So, I’m the go between.”
“Did you volunteer for the job?”
“Yeah,” he said, his grin broadening.
You crossed your arms protectively across your chest. You didn’t know how to handle him when he was like this. The Edward Nygma you had met at the GCPD years earlier was easy to talk to; he was open and honest. This side of him liked to play games, and dangerous games at that. It shouldn’t have made you uncomfortable. You had killed more people than Ed had. But, there was something behind his brown eyes that caused a certain uneasiness to arise inside of you.
“I guess you ought to meet my team,” you said, heading back to the study and the comfort of your friends. As you walked, you were aware of him right behind you.
When you reached the study, you made the introductions quickly. Once that was over, you walked over to the desk and leaned against it. Moments later, Edward was beside you, his eyes not leaving you.
“Thank you for your help with this,” Steve said politely. From his body stance, you were sure that the opinion he was forming of Nygma wasn’t positive, but it was Steve’s way to remain a gentleman until someone gave him reason not to be.
“Sure,” Edward said, not looking at Steve. “What do you need me to do?” He asked you.
“Just tell me whatever Penguin finds out.”
“I mean, beyond that.”
“Nothing. We’ve got a great team. We can handle it.”
He laughed in a way that could best be described as slightly sinister.
“Oh come on, you need me. When this guy sets a location for the meet up, you’re going to require my extensive knowledge of Gotham. Unless your plan is for Captain America here to walk around downtown drawing a map.”
“I’m familiar with Gotham,” you said with less confidence than you had hoped for.
“Not like I am.”
Turning to look at him, a small chill ran down your spine when your eyes met his.
“Can I trust you?” You asked quietly.
“Haven’t I already shown you what I’m willing to do for you?”
Averting your gaze, you said, “Don’t talk about that.”
“Why not? I’m not ashamed of it. This is who I really am. You helped me see it.”
“I did no such thing. I liked you the way you were.”
Leaning in closer, he whispered, “I did it for you, and you loved it. It’s time you stopped denying it.”
Then, he stood up straight and said in a normal voice, “I’ll let you know when I have an update. See you around.”
—————————
“Are you going to ask me if I’m sure I know what I’m doing? Everyone else has,” you asked Steve when he joined you outside.
“Nope.”
“Maybe you should. My confidence is starting to falter on this.”
“I have faith in you. The plan isn’t foolproof, but they never are. All you can do is hope for the best and plan for the worst. I just came to see if you were alright. You seem shaken.”
“I am, at least a little bit.”
“Wanna tell me about it?”
“Nat will be mad if she’s not the first one to hear it,” you said, your voice trailing off.
A few silent moments passed before you decided to tell him anyway.
“Several years ago….before New York, before the Avengers….I came to Gotham on a mission for SHIELD. I was supposed to work it undercover, so I got a job with Penguin’s operation. I was good at undercover work, very convincing. One of the risks of that is that you might get busted, which I did. Gotham is a rough city…it always has been…and the GCPD was different back then. The cop that arrested me liked playing by his own set of rules. I had orders not to break cover unless I got word from my superior, so I had no choice but to keep going with it. He got rough during my interrogation….really rough. But, it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. If I couldn’t take a beating, I would never have made it through basic training. At some point though, this man came in and tried to intervene. He was most definitely not the hero type. He was skinny, with large glasses and a damn pocket protector. His efforts didn’t go well. He looked like he was more accustomed to being on the receiving end of a punch than the giving side.”
“It was Nygma?” Steve asked.
“Yeah…anyway, Gordon came in a minute later and broke everything up. I got my phone call, explained the situation, and was told to change tactics. Since the cops had ruined my operation, they offered to help me out as best as they could. I got to know Ed during that time. He was sweet, but nervous. It didn’t take long to notice that everyone there walked all over him. All it took was giving him your undivided attention for a few minutes and it seemed to make his whole day. He was completely fascinated by the details of my job, and since all of my friends were other agents, it was nice to get to know someone who still found it exciting. He’d rattle on about riddles and cases he was working on. Most of it was scientific jargon that I didn’t understand, but I found him entertaining when he got like that. Eventually, I wrapped everything up and went home. We’d talk on the phone, and he made a few surprise visits. It stayed like that for several months until I got a call from Gordon. The cop who beat me had been missing for weeks….Ed hadn’t told me about it….and they had just found his body. Somehow, the moment I heard that, I knew it was Edward. I couldn’t explain it. I didn’t tell Gordon because I didn’t have any proof, just a nagging suspicion. Besides, who turns in their own friend? What if he was innocent? Not too long afterward, I got another call from Jim. They had arrested Ed. They weren’t getting much out of him and hoped I’d come talk to him, so I did.”
“Edward, what happened?” You asked, reaching across the table to hold his shackled hand. “I know that guy was a prick, but what did he do to you after I left that made you decide to kill him?”
You watched as a large grin spread across his face. His hair was a mess and he didn’t look anything like your friend. It was almost as if the man across from you was now a different person. Had the first Edward just been an act? Or had life worn away at him until he had finally cracked, and this was what was now left?
“He didn’t do anything to me. At least, nothing that no one else around here doesn’t already do. I didn’t kill him for me. I killed him for you.”
“What?”
“I killed him for you. The first moment I saw you, you stirred to life a side of me I had been trying so hard to fight. You were so beautiful, so strong, so powerful....you’re everything HE wants. We both knew it that first day. I tried to protect you from that bastard; he had no right to lay his hands on you. He took your power away, and you had to let him. I hated him for it. So, I killed him.”
You let go of him and pulled your hand back.
“Tell me you didn’t mean that.”
“Of course I did.”
“What about the other body they found?”
“Oh, he stumbled across me dumping the remains. I didn’t have a choice.”
“Didn’t have a choice? Ed, you murdered two people. You made that choice.”
“I chose to become the kind of man you could love. I LOVE you. But, you would never have felt that way about the insignificant, overlooked, weak loser that I used to be. I had to change. I had to evolve. I had to find a way to become the smarter, stronger man that I have always felt lived somewhere deep inside me....and now, I am him.”
You were beginning to feel sick. Getting up, you started to rush to the door, but stopped when you heard Edward say your name.
“I know you can’t appreciate it right now because you think you should feel guilty. But, you will. I did what any man in love would have done, and one day you're going to love me, too."
"After that, Ed went to Arkham and I didn't see him again until the other day at Penguin's."
"You can't blame yourself for what he did," Steve said.
"I know. It's an unnerving feeling though....someone committing murder because of you. I mean, it's not like I've never killed anyone before. Almost everyone on our team has. But, when we do it, it's because they don't give us any other choice, and we certainly don't enjoy it. I know that Ed had never felt more alive than he did when he was taking those lives. That's what bothers me so much."
Steve wrapped his arm around your shoulders in a comforting gesture. The two of you stayed that way for quite some time just watching the night sky.
After awhile, you added quietly, "Gotham is a hell of a place. We better all be sure we're ready for it."