Avengers Family

“I don’t know if I should give any to a traitor.” Clint pretended to think deeply, one hand on his chin, the other holding a pitcher of hot chocolate. “It may be against my principles.”

“But you’re such a kind and merciful person, wouldn’t not feeding him go against your principles?” Bucky countered and then winked at Peter.

“You’re right. I’m just such a wonderful person, I couldn’t let a child go without.” Clint shamelessly complimented himself more as he poured some of the brown liquid into Peter’s cup.

“Thank you! Your hot chocolate is the best!” Peter exclaimed as he excitedly raised the Santa-shaped mug to his lips. “It makes me want to watch The Polar Express.”

“That’s because he just uses melted chocolate bars and heavy whipping cream. You all are going to have diabetes by January.” Bruce chimed in, still grabbing a mug for himself.

“Worth it.” Peter grinned, sporting a liquid mustache.

“I don’t think Buck has seen The Polar Express movie. Should we watch it now?” Steve asked, wiping Peter’s mouth with a napkin for him.

“That sounds like a great idea.” Tony announced, going to grab a giant handful of blankets. “JARVIS?”

Within seconds, everyone was cuddled up with blankets and hot chocolate and the movie was starting up.

About half way through, the door to the room opened, and the super soliders could hear footsteps behind them.

“Natasha!” Peter exclaimed while Bruce grabbed the remote to pause the movie. “Do you want to join us? We’re watching a Christmas movie.”

Natasha just shook her head. “I just want to go get some rest.” With that, she left.

The Avengers looked at each other, concerned. “Should one of us follow her up?” Steve made a move to get up.

“No, if the mission went wrong she’ll want some alone time.” Clint informed them, still looking at the doorway Natasha left from. Everyone nodded and agreed to give her some space.

Her bad mood didn’t seem to wear off, and from the reports, her mission only had a slight hiccup, but it was nothing drastic so the mission was still successful.

“Did it involve kids?” Tony wondered aloud. If something happened to kids, no matter how many times each of them had seen the situation, they still fell into a melancholy mood.

“Nope.” Steve flipped the page in the file. “From what I can tell, she just had to go to a Christmas party at a rich man’s house and determine where his storehouse or black market weapons was located. Her cover was almost blown, but she covered it up smoothly.”

From then on, the Avengers made more of an effort to talk to her and invite her out. She wasn’t nearly as upset as the first day, but there was still something off about her.

—————

Peter noticed immediately when he came over for the next weekend with Tony. He had chosen to go with Natasha to pick up some food items that the ravenous heroes had already plowed through.

“Can we get stuff for Christmas cookies?” Peter’s attention was grabbed by the festive section of the baking aisle. He excited grabbed a container of snowflake sprinkles.

“I’m sure Tony won’t mind.” Natasha said absent-mindedly, shifting the cart toward Peter so he could easily pile in his goods. She tried to smile, but even though it looked genuine, Peter could tell when she was putting up a mask.

“Is it Christmas?”

“What?”

“Well, you’ve just seemed down lately, and it seems like you don’t like Christmas stuff.”

“It’s not that I don’t like Christmas. I’m just not feeling it this year.” Natasha ended the chance for further conversation by moving toward the check-out.

“Is it something specific? Like were you attacked by a guy in a Santa suit or something?” Peter brought it up again as they walked through a park on their way back from the store.

Natasha snorted. “Attacked by Santa? No.”

Just like everyone else, Natasha wouldn’t open up on the subject. Unlike everyone else, Peter pushed way harder.

That evening, Natasha retreated to her room again. She’d had a few glasses of wine with Pepper, but made herself scarce as soon as Clint said he wanted to watch The Grinch.

—————-

“Tap. Tap. Tap.” There was a noise from her window and then a blast of cold air. Peter stepped in, covering his eyes with one hand. He had switched his ugly Christmas sweater for a plain blue one.

Natasha was already in a defensive position. Even tipsy, she was not someone to mess with. “You can open your eyes Peter. I’m decent. You shouldn’t barge into other people’s rooms unannounced though.” She relaxed and sat down on her bed.

“I’m sorry. I just wanted to spend more time with you. I haven’t seen you lately.” Peter cuddled up next to her on the bed. “What’s wrong?”

And maybe it was the alcohol or Peter’s persistence or the fact that she had let herself be more vulnerable in her room. Maybe it was the reminder that people actually wanted to spend time with her instead of merely tolerating her, but Natasha started confessing.

“I feel so alone during the holidays.” She took a deep, shaky breath in. “It’s all about family, and I don’t have one. Bruce has Betty and all those orphan kids he’s practically adopted. Tony has Pepper and you. You have May and Tony. Clint has an entire family. Even Steve and Bucky have each other now.”

“You have us.”

Natasha flashed a weak smile. “You know that isn’t the same. When all of you leave the tower for your Christmas plans, I’ll be alone. I probably deserve it for all the bad things I’ve done. If Santa really had a naughty list, I’d be on it for a thousand years after I’m dead.” She chuckled dimly.

Peter frowned. He knew that if he tugged at this thread, much more than loneliness and guilt would come tumbling out. He didn’t want that though. He didn’t want to make Natasha discuss her insecurities if she didn’t want to. He didn’t want her to say something she’d regret later. So he chose to cuddle up to her some more. They watched a non-Christmas movie together until Natasha fell asleep.

“You’re invited to the Parker family Christmas.” A card slid under Natasha’s door. The curling edges of the photo of Peter and May wearing Santa hats clearly gave away the homemade nature of the card. Natasha smiled.

—————

“Peter, you didn’t have to-“ Natasha spoke up as she poured her coffee the next morning.

“-I want you there! Christmas is more fun with more people. I don’t have a lot of family either and I’d love to have a big Christmas!”

And how could Natasha refuse him anything after that?

—————

Christmas morning, Natasha headed over to the Parkers’ home bright and early in the morning. For the first time in a while, she was actually happy. She had gifts for May and Peter as well as some coffee cake to contribute for brunch.

The wreath on the door that Peter had clearly made in elementary school made her smile as she let herself in.

“Is it supposed to be that color?” Peter’s voice was audible in the foyer.

“I don’t think so... the picture doesn’t look like that.” Tony’s voice was uncharacteristically hesitant.

“Why is everything so sticky?”  “Do you boys want help?” Pepper and May also spoke up from the kitchen.

“Merry Christmas!” All four people in the kitchen jumped at Nat’s announcement, too distracted to notice her approaching.

“Merry Christmas! Welcome to our home!” May greeted Natasha warmly as Peter rushed over for a hug.

Tony raised his glass of eggnog and smiled. Pepper also wished her a Merry Christmas.

“So, what’s this?” Natasha honestly couldn’t tell what they had been trying to make. She hoped this wasn’t breakfast.

May whispered in her ear. “Don’t worry, breakfast is already ready. Peter wanted to make something and Tony tried to help while I showed Pepper around.”

Natasha let out a breath of relief.

“Um, I was trying to make Pryaniki. I thought it might be familiar to you.” Peter looked sheepishly at the mess on the table. Tony moved to reveal a cookbook open to a picture of the dish.

Natasha’s heart swelled at the gesture. “I haven’t had those in ages.”

“Well, I don’t know if you’ll be having any in the recent future either. These aren’t exactly.” Tony shot a disgusted glance at the odd smelling dough on the counter.

“I’ll help you guys after we eat. It’s more of an evening sweet anyway.”

Peter’s face lit up at her suggestion and he helpfully guided her to their dining room, which had festive garland all over.

—————

“What should we do while we wait?” Peter dusted the last of the flour from his palms. Tony and Pepper had to leave for other Christmas engagements, and Natasha and Peter had just plopped the tray of cookies in the oven. “I’m starting to look like a snowman with all this flour.”

“I think you’d need to eat a few more cookies to start looking like a snowman.”

“I don’t know. Snowmen are surprisingly hard. This one time, Ned and I built some and I accidentally ran into one. Man, my face was bruised for like three days. You probably make unbreakable ones.”

“I’ve actually never made a snowman before.”

“Never made a.... well I know what we’re doing.” Peter grabbed Natasha’s hand and dragged her out the front door, calling out to his aunt to inform her where he was going.

“So you start like this.” Peter made a snowball. “Then you just roll it around in this type of snow until it’s really big.”

“Yours kind of looks like Steve.” Peter giggled. “The chest one is way bigger than the bottom. It’s gonna fall.”

“No it isn’t.” Natasha stubbornly proclaimed, fighting back a smile.

“Well, Steve needs Bucky and Sam, right? And you and Tony.” Peter started working on another snowman. “This one can be Bruce. I’ll go get my old glasses.”

Soon, there was a whole army of snowmen in front of the apartment complex, each one bearing a vague resemblance to an Avenger. Natasha and Peter were laughing uncontrollably, fingers and noses red from the cold.

Before heading inside, they admired their work for a moment. “You were really good at that. Add it to the list of Black Widow’s special skills.”

“Oh yeah, bad guys beware.” Natasha rolled her eyes sarcastically, but her eyes crinkled in delight.

They were met inside by May, who had made them mugs of hot chocolate. She told Natasha embarrassing stories about Peter in Christmas’s past and offered them some of the cookies they had made.

Knock, knock.

Peter bounded toward the buzzer. “Who is it?”

“Harry and Marv.”

“What are you talking about Buck? No it isn’t. This is Bucky, Sam, and Steve.”

“It was a Home Alone reference. How is it that he’s been here for less time but knows more movie references.”

“Technically he’s been unfrozen for more time-“

“-Hydra was not making him watch Home Alone. You’re just lazy grandpa.”

Peter pressed the button to unlock the door, snorting at the bickering at the entrance.

“We made some desserts. These are tarts and this one is a trifle. Those are puddings and that’s cheesecake. Oh and this is gingerbread, but underneath it is a berry pie.”

Peter’s eyes widen as all three men walked in, loaded with trays and containers.

“For people who didn’t have sugar growing up, these guys sure know how to bake.” Sam admitted, carefully placing his load on the table.

“It was mostly Buck.” Steve blushed. “I’m not as-“

“-Nope he’s just as good as me. Try the pie - it was all him. Oh and it’s a pity but the wings on the Falcon snowman fell off. Must’ve been a strong wind or something.”

“They have security tapes here.”

“I don’t know what you’re implying.” Bucky continued to nonchalantly place platters on the counter. “It’s not my fault your snowman is weak. Maybe they’re just really reflective of the people they’re based on.”

“Wow. This is unexpected. Do you boys want some hot chocolate? Or eggnog?” May entered the room, immediately shocked.

“We don’t want to impose. We just wanted to drop in for a little bit.”

“It’s no trouble. The more the merrier! I’ll get you boys some of both.” She smiled and disappeared back to the kitchen for some more mugs.

“Why did you guys decide to come by?”

“Visiting family is a Christmas tradition right?” Steve flashed a genuine smile at Natasha and Peter before pulling them into a hug. “We brought a Christmas trivia game too. Do you guys want to play?”

Hours later, all six people sat cuddled against each other on the couches and chairs.

“I never thought there was so much information on Santa Claus, who could know all that?” Bucky whined as May spread her cards triumphantly.

“We need to get going - Sam’s mom invites us over for dinner.” Steve checked his watch. “Thank you for letting us into your wonderful home Ms. Parker. Merry Christmas.” There were hugs all around as the three men left.

May, Natasha, and Peter had a festive dinner, full of laughter and story-telling. Although it was small, it was the largest Christmas dinner Natasha had ever had and she savored every moment. Before the evening ended, the Stark’s dropped by again and watched some movies.

Natasha walked back out onto the driveway, completely content. Despite the cold, she felt warm and fuzzy. She had a family. A family who enjoyed spending the time with her and who wanted to include her in their celebrations. She never felt so full of love.