Peter Parker is Not a Superhero and That’s Okay. (Platonic Steve and Peter Centric)
It’d been months since the events of homecoming. Tony had returned the suit and apologized for his actions. He made sure Peter knew he was just worried for his safety. He’d invited him to stay with the Avengers in the tower whenever he wanted and had FRIDAY give him full access. He was officially an ‘Unofficial Avenger’.
So why did these thoughts still swirl in his mind? You’re nothing without the suit. You couldn’t save anyone you loved. You’re not good enough.
Peter sat on the couch with his head cradled in his hands. Tears streamed down his cheeks and dripped down to his lap. He didn’t belong here in the tower. He wasn’t an Avenger. He was nothing.
“Peter?”
Peter jumped and spun around at his name. He’d been too emotional to even hear the person approach, which almost never happened since his enhanced hearing.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I was coming up from....Peter? Are you okay?” In an instant Steve was at Peter’s side, acting like a mother hen.
“You’re not injured right? What happened?”
Peter looked away and tried to wipe away his tears. “Nothing.” Despite his best efforts, his voice sounded broken. He didn’t want to seem weak in front of his hero.
Steve gave him a disappointed stare which seemed to see through Peter’s soul. His resolve gave out and he admitted his feelings. “Tony said that I was nothing without the Spiderman suit-“
“-He did WHAT?”
Peter frantically waved his hands “No it was a long while ago and I didn’t know him as well and he apologized and said that he was just worried about me.”
Steve’s shoulders slumped back in relief, but he made an expression like he was planning to have a talk with Tony later anyway.
“What if he’s right?” Peter’s voice came out garbled as he held back another round of tears.
“He wasn’t. He admitted that he wasn’t - which is a huge feat kid. Tony Stark does not apologize so he must’ve realized he was really wrong.” Steve sat next to Peter and stared directly into his eyes. He sounded so confident, so sincere, Peter couldn’t help but believe him a little bit.
“But without the bite. I’m nothing. I’m a poor kid from Queens who couldn’t save his uncle and...”
“You’re not nothing without your Spider Powers. You’re Peter Parker. And that’s an amazing person to be.”
Peter stared at the man with confusion. Hadn’t he just been explaining why Peter Parker wasn’t good enough?
“Peter Parker is incredibly smart. He’s kind hearted. He’s loyal. He’s got a whole lot of integrity. If everyone in the world was half as good as Peter Parker, we’d live in a much better place. You’re amazing kid.”
“But-“
“Have you seen how happy Tony is when you tinker with him in the lab? The fact that you can keep up with him is already unfathomable, but that you also convinced Tony to let you into his safe space is incredible. Did you see how Bruce’s face lit up when you met him and gushed about his work and not the Hulk? Have you seen the appreciation in Thor’s eyes when you patiently explain human things to him? Do you know how excited Bucky was when you were the second person to actually make contact with him without acting scared or flinching? That compassion and curiosity comes from the man inside, not the spider bite.”
Steve gave Peter a sad smile.
“I know what you’re going through.”
Peter tilted his head. How could the man who embodied American perfection with his perfect body, polite nature, and boyish charm feel like he did? The man fought freaking Nazi’s. Peter couldn’t imagine him doing anything wrong in his entire life.
“Before the serum I was Steve Rogers, skinny asthmatic who couldn’t serve his country. I regularly got beaten up and stood up on dates. On top of that, I was a poor, fatherless kid from Brooklyn.”
Steve’s eyes glazed over with remembrance.
“After the serum, I became Steve Rogers, super solider. I was paraded around as the ideal solider, encouraging men to enlist. I fought Nazi’s alongside my fellow soliders. I had a purpose. I was glad the serum had given me a way to fight against injustice and cruelty. But even with the serum, I failed to save my best friend. I crashed a plane in the ocean.”
Steve’s voice trembled a little.
“Then, I wake up seventy years in the future and everything has changed. I’ve been immortalized and idealized all over the U.S. Immediately, I was expected to pick up all the culture and get back to fighting. Everyone expected a perfect Captain America. No one cared about Steve Rogers. I was competent on the battlefield, but off it I suffered from flashbacks, depression, and PTSD. I thought I was weak.”
“You couldn’t never be weak.”
“Thanks.” Steve grinned at Peter. “So I took the trip around the country. I started to go to a therapist. I moved into the tower and became family with all you guys. Things started looking up. The trick is, you’ve gotta separate them. Spiderman is for fights, for patrols. He’s a part of you, but he can’t exist without Peter Parker, not the other way around. He may seem perfect, but that’s only because of what you’ve given him. Am I making sense?”
“Like how Steve Rogers is the man who makes soup when one of us gets sick or carries us to our bedroom when we fall asleep on the couch? How he draws funny comic strips and sucks at Instagram? Captain America isn’t those things.”
“Right. Captain America is my job. I don’t need to let it define me though. I like Steve Rogers without Captain America. You should try to like Peter Parker without Spiderman.”
“Okay.” Peter sat in silence for a moment, contemplating Steve’s words. “Thanks.” He was sincere as he wrapped his arms around his friend.
“Are Iron Man and Tony Stark different?”
“Nah.”
“What? Why not?”
“He created Iron Man. He never needs to worry if he doesn’t deserve it or if he’s any good without it. Although our powers are built into our bodies, they were given to us by someone else. His power isn’t exactly from his body, but he made it so he can sure as hell claim it as his very own.”
“Bruce Banner and the Hulk?”
“I think Bruce would rather forget the Hulk. He sees it as a weakness if anything.”
Hmm. Peter’s brain was now churning, distracted from his previous insecurities. He wanted something to stump Steve.
“Sam! Sam didn’t make his armor.”
“Yeah, but he can take it off if he feel undeserving. Plus, he was the only one who could fly it. That’s pretty worthy.”
Their conversation got lighter as they started to jokingly chat about all the others powers.
The next day, after school, Peter noticed a sticky note on his door. It read “Peter makes the best scrambled eggs in the world - Clint” He grinned.
He threw his backpack down on the bed and noticed another note on the nightstand. “Peter always cleans up after he uses gym equipment, unlike some animals who live here - Natasha”
There were more, in the bathroom, on his dresser, all over the walls.
“Peter plays with the robots and makes sure they aren’t ever lonely - Tony”
“Peter taught me about LEGOS and I’ve found them very therapeutic when I’m feeling anxious - Bucky.”
“Peter always offers to help me when I’m baking something in the kitchen. It’s very much appreciated - Sam.”
“Peter stands up to the Avenger haters online even when we insist it’s fine. It’s good to know he has our back. - Bruce.”
“Peter fixes our weapons and machines when Tony’s too busy even though he sometimes has homework or other responsibilities. He’s so selfless. - Clint”
“Peter shows and explains funny internet jokes when a team member’s in a bad mood or after a depressing mission. It brightens up my day every time - Steve.”
When he opened the closet door, hundreds more papers fluttered out. Peter felt warm all over and he was beaming as he read all of the compliments. His team - no his family loved him for him, not for his powers.
He kept every single one in a photo book and read them whenever he had a bad day. Occasionally, he would find new ones. Specific or silly - they always improved his mood.
That’s how ever Avenger ended up with multiple colorful stacks of sticky notes in their rooms.