Peter-man & another Spider
"Hey look! There are children!" Captain America yells and they stumble into the little section of the hallway we claimed as our own.
"Hey don't run away like that! I wanted to talk to you guys!" Hawkeye (jeez he's persistent) says
"... you wanted to talk to us?" I ask, in a questioning tone
"OF COURSE! HAVE YOU SEEN YOURSELVES!?!" Hawkeye shouts, doing hand motions.
"Yeah, Shuri said you have a bright mind like hers I wanna see if that's true!" Ironman says with underlying excitement in his voice
Is... he really excited-
"Besides Bruce won't talk to me since I broke into his lab and accidentally destroyed one of the things he was working on."
Welp nevermind
"bitCH-" Dr. Banner started but was cut off.
"LaNgUaGe! There are kids here!" Captain America shouts holding us away from Dr. Banner.
I swear 90% of the things I've heard Captain America say is 'language'
"NO, STEVE, NO! HE BROKE THE PROJECT I'VE BEEN WORKING ON EVER SINCE I GOT BACK FROM SPACE!" Dr. Banner screamed, his voice filled to the brim with disdain and sadness.
"Why are all scientists drama queens," Captain America groans into his hands.
"ALL THE OLD MEN SHUT UP! I HAVE TO MEET THE CHILDREN WHO ARE FRIENDS WITH SHURI!" The Scarlet Witch yells pushing Ironman, Hawkeye, Dr. Banner and Captain America out of her way towards us.
... Are... are the Avengers always this chaotic?
The heroes were fighting so much about who was gonna hang out with us first they didn't see Black Widow approaching us.
"You four will come with me to the training room. I'm teaching you self defense," Black Widow says, cooly.
Omg.
Shuri squeals and whisper shouts to us, "Nat never lets anyone train with her!!!!!!"
"Yes well you guys are the exception," she says turning to face us before walking, expecting us to follow.
As we follow Black Widow all of us are pretty excited.
MJ is this close to losing her shit that the feminism icon Natasha Fucking Romanoff is about to train us.
You can't see but my index finger and thumb are touching.
Shuri is already pumped up.
She's 20 times more than her max and we haven't even got to the training room...I wonder what stuff Shuri's seen in there to be so exciting?
(the avengers fighting sound pretty cool when you're not on the receiving end of it)
I'm pretty sure Ned died from over-excitement but we drag his dead body with us anyway.
We take some (read: a lot) of turns and elevators to get there. It must be a safety thing.
When we walk into the training room, it's the biggest gym I've ever seen.
There's an entire section of punching bags and a pile of broken punching bags on the side of it, probably thrown there when it broke.
There's a bunch of little (I say little but there gigantic) of raised platforms used for, presumably, for sparing.
There's even a parkour section!
"Alright this is the gym, and when I'm done with you lot you'll be able to choke a 150-pound tall man with your pinky toe in heels," Black Widow says, putting her hands on her hips.
Holy fuck
"She's so cool," I murmur, undoubtedly with stars in my eyes
Black Widow chuckles, idk how she heard me but I think it has something to do with spies.
"So, first of all, I want you to get into ready position by bending your knees, and keeping your arms in front of you like so," She says showing us a perfect stance
(notice: I am not a Master Shifu TLDR; don't try this at home)
"Am I doing it right?" Ned asks but he's so excited his legitimately shaking
She gets out of stance and walks over to Ned, inspecting his stance.
"Put your elbows higher and bend your knees less. That way you'll be able to move faster in an actual fight," she instructs Ned
She walks over to Shuri, "Nice try Shuri but don't cover your face with your fists. It's problematic in an actual fight as it will make it hard to punch when you can't see you're opponent through your fists."
She helps Shuri get into the right stance before walking over to MJ.
"Michelle put your legs farther apart, and loosen up a little. You're to stiff. You can be kicked over easily," She says
She walks over to me and narrows her eyes.
"Have you done this before? You're too good to be a beginner," She asks looking at me with a strange sense of suspicion.
"Umm... uhh... Y-you're really too kind Miss. Widow.... I-" I start but thankfully MJ cuts in and saves me before I can out myself.
"He took Karate when he was little. He just acts way too humble," MJ says lying astoundingly well
(if only I had that kind of lying skills then we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place).
She looks at me as if judging me, for a few seconds before saying, "Alright then. You're good Parker."
"T-thanks," I say rubbing the back of my neck sheepishly
We continue like this for a little while before our time with Miss. Widow is interrupted.
"HELLO THERE KIDDIES," Yells the loud voice of Hawkeye as he jumps out of a vent.
"Clint what the fuck are you doing," Miss Widow says in her emotionless voice.
"Geeze don't look so mad! I just want my rightfully earned time with these children," Hawkeye says boastfully
"You have done literally nothing to earn anything," Miss Widow says in a cold voice
"Yowch," Hawkeye says holding his chest as if he had been shot in the heart.
Miss Widow shrugs and starts walking over to Hawkeye.
Apparently, that's a bad thing because Hawkeye yells "NOT AGAIN" and runs
He continues to run in a circle until he gets tased by a Widow Bot.
"It's my turn with these children," Miss Widow says before turning around and walking towards us again.
"OH NO! IT'S NOT YOUR TURN! IT HASN'T BEEN SINCE BUDAPEST!" Hawkeye gets up and yells.
What the heck with a double c is Budapest.
"Budapest was a mistake," Miss Widow murmurs
Hawkeye's hearing aids must be really sensitive because he somehow hears that and starts laughing. Or dying. Why not both? Yeah, he's laughing and dying. All over the floor. Rest in pease floor.
When Hawkeye finally manages to stop laughing after a couple of minutes he gets up and starts walking to the door before stopping.
"Hurry up kiddos! Before the Budapest effect stops working!" He yells before running out of the room.
Not knowing what to do we run with him.
Man what a wild ride this day has been. And it's barely gotten started.