Breakfast Talk
At exactly seven am Steve woke up, the sun shining through his window and onto his face. Steve blinked and rubbed his eyes, slowly sitting up. Despite the fact that Steve woke up early every morning, he didn’t jump out of bed straight away, wide awake and ready to do all his Captain duties. It still took him a few minutes to gather his thoughts.
After getting out of bed, and going to the bathroom, Steve went to the kids room, knowing they would be awake.
“Good morning sweethearts” Steve grinned, seeing both of his kids standing in their cribs. It was tricky dealing with both of them in the morning; both wanted his immediate attention, and he couldn’t change and dress both of them at the same time, meaning someone had to wait. And the thing about one year olds, is you can’t explain that to them. So, they usually end up crying.
“I went to you first yesterday Maria, it’s James turn to be first”
“Thankfully I’m awake” Steve looked over his shoulder to see Tony leaning against the doorframe, running a hand through his hair to push it out of his face. It only resulted in it getting messy, and causing inappropriate thoughts to run through Steve’s mind. Feeling himself flush over picturing other reasons Tony’s hair sometimes looked like that, he turned away from the man and focused on their son.
“Am I witnessing the Tony Stark waking up without being told to?” Steve hid how happy he felt over Tony actually waking up to help, with sarcasm.
“Don’t get used to this. These babies will not change me. I’m still going to sleep till noon everyday” but even as Tony said this, Steve, and probably Tony himself, knew it was a lie. The impact their kids were already having on him was noticeable.
“Sure. Grab Maria, if she sees me grab James without grabbing her she’ll throw a fit” Steve bent down to pick up James, who’s whimpers had risen in volume.
“Hello my handsome boy” Steve nuzzled into his neck, his beard tickling James, causing the boy to let out giggles. Maria whined when she saw the attention her daddy was giving her brother, not yet used to Tony also being her caretaker.
“I’ll be right with you baby” Steve called over to her, setting James down on his change table to take care of his diaper.
“Looks like your rash has gotten better” Steve told James happily, as if he could understand. The past few days James had been battling a harsh diaper rash, that had left the boy crying in pain when it first started. Thankfully, T’Challa had the best rash cream ever brought in just for James. And if he did have a part of Steve’s healing factor, that would help as well.
“All done” Steve blew a raspberry onto his stomach. He could never get enough of the sound of his kids laughter. Picking James back up, he turned to face Maria and Tony. The little girl had calmed down as Tony started to rock her, but she was still staring at Steve intently, as if saying ‘my turn’ .
“Swap kids?” Steve asked approaching, Maria’s hands already outstretched, making grabbing motions. James, sensing what was about to happen, curled into Steve’s neck, not wanting to go.
“Come on now James, be a good boy” Steve handed him to Tony, while taking Maria into his arms. Tony was being unusually quiet, seeming content to just observe. James started to whimper, but Tony started the rocking motion he had been doing earlier.
“Hello my beautiful girl” Steve said to Maria after she was on the table. She cooed at him, reaching up with her hands to try and grab his beard. In retaliation he playfully bit at her fingers, making sure to use his lips and not his teeth. After her diaper change, he lifted her into his arms and cuddled her close, just like he had done with James. It was all a part of their morning traditions.
“You’re really great with them” Tony told him, his voice soft as he spoke.
“You should have seen me in the beginning. I was a mess” Steve laughed at some of the memories that surfaced. “I used to always dress them in the wrong clothes. Maria would be in overalls, and James in a bright pink dress. Or I would mix them up sometimes, like put James in the overalls but give him the jeweled flower headband, and Maria in the dress paired with a blue baby baseball cap”
“I was going to defend the mixing up of the clothes, but Steve, how do you pair pink and blue items? How did you not realize?” Tony laughed, following Steve out of the room, who was leading them to the kitchen.
“I honestly couldn’t tell you. Thank god for Wanda, she always caught the mistake before I could bring them to the palace” Steve put Maria into her high chair, Tony copying with James.
“She uh, she really seems close to the kids” Tony said, keeping his gaze centered on James and not on Steve.
“She took it hard in the beginning. When I told her I was having twins. She still thinks about Pietro a lot, misses him everyday. But, her connection to the twins is deeper than that. It’s the same reason Nat is so good with them. They never really had that growing up. That sense of comfort, of belonging, of home. I guess in a way Wanda is re-enacting what she wished her childhood would have been like, while ensuring the twins have it. Plus, she makes an awesome older sister to them” The kids would grow up viewing Wanda as their older sister. They may not be blood, but they were family.
“He would have made an incredible avenger” Tony told him, standing up fully at the same time Steve did.
“He was a great avenger. But, that’s enough of this kind of talk. It’s quarter after seven, we don’t need this kind of attitude in the morning. What do you want for breakfast? We have a lot of food, pick whatever you want and I’ll cook it. I think we have stuff for breakfast sandwiches. And I can start on the coffee, you’ll probably want the entire thing” Steve told him, grabbing a box of cheerios for the kids. They didn’t eat them with milk and a spoon, but they were happy enough to eat them from their trays, while occasionally throwing them at each other.
It hadn’t occurred to him that he offered to make one of Tony’s favourite breakfast meals, but Tony did. He could only watch in awe as Steve went around the kitchen, grabbing everything he would need to make the food. Tony never used to be one for breakfast, truthfully he wasn’t one for eating in general, but when Steve introduced him to breakfast sandwiches he was hooked. It was like a cheeseburger, but for the morning!
Even after all this time, Steve still knew everything he loved.
“You ok? Did you want something else?” Steve asked, stopping when he saw the expression on Tony’s face.
“No, breakfast sandwiches are perfect” Tony couldn’t help the love filled smile that crossed his face. This was what he wanted his mornings to be like everyday. He would try and push the seven am morning thing back, but he would endure it if it meant this was what he woke up to.
Steve’s ears turned red at the look Tony gave him, but he smiled back and continued with what he was doing.
“What time does everyone else get up?”
“Nat, Bucky, and Sam are probably already up. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if they aren’t even here. They normally leave to go jog on some of the paths. Wanda likes to sleep in, seriously don’t even attempt to wake her up, and Vision will probably stay in her room until she wakes” he had received a hair brush to the head the one time he had tried to drag her out of bed. It was 8:30, that was late enough. At least, that’s what Steve thought.
“I bet Wanda doesn’t sleep in that late, you soldiers, spies, and assassins are just extremely early risers. Sleeping in for you guys is what, eight? That’s early for the rest of the world” Tony teased, smiling appreciatively as Tony put a cup of coffee in front of him.
“I’ve learned my lesson. Wanda sleeps in for as long as she wants, unless it’s after noon. That’s just ridiculous”
“Ok grandpa, we’ll all get up early and go bird watching with you. Maybe we’ll see something other than a cardinal or robin for once” Steve fixed him with his best bitch face, and Tony chuckled into his mug. The coffee was made perfectly, but was that really a surprise?
“Hilarious” he deadpanned, turning to the stove to make the eggs.
“So, any plans for the day?” Tony asked, trying to sound casual, but really, he was hoping that if Steve did have plans, Tony would be included.
“I don’t think so. Probably just hang out here for the day, read up on some things T’Challa sent me. Maybe, if you’re interested we could walk around Wakanda, and I could show you around? Rhodey could come to” Steve asked, not able to hide the hopefulness in his voice that Tony would say yes.
“I’d love to” they grinned at each other, only looking away when Maria threw a cheerio at James, who copied her.
“Brats” Steve smiled fondly, but left them to their devices. They were content, that’s all that mattered.
“I don’t mean to pry, well actually I do, but do I get to know what this important meeting was about yesterday?” the mood in the room shifted as Steve was reminded of the meeting. He hadn’t given it much thought, to busy with Tony, but it was something he would have to get a handle on.
“You really don’t have to concern yourself with it. You’re here enjoying your time away from meetings, you don’t need to get involved in this one” he brought Tony’s plate over to him, before turning back to start his own, but he was stopped by a hand on his wrist, forcing him back around.
“Steve, if it’s something important I want to help” I don’t want the kids OR you in danger, was left unsaid, but it was what Tony was thinking. Steve had seemed nervous when he met back up with Tony after the meeting, and Tony had assumed it was nerves due to talking to Tony. Maybe it was actually due to the meeting. Was Steve in trouble?
“Tony, it’s seven thirty, this is not breakfast talk” Steve sighed uselessly, knowing he was fighting a losing battle. When Tony gave him that concerned look he found himself caving.
“Tell me. Please Steve, no more secrets” Tony begged. He wasn’t above fighting dirty, and using his puppy dog eyes to get what he wanted.
“H.Y.D.R.A has started killing men that resemble me. They are trying to find me, and when they realize that they’ve gone after the wrong man they execute them” and really, it wasn’t anything new, H.Y.D.R.A was always looking for Steve, more importantly the serum, but it still caused fear and anger to swell inside Tony.
“Are they close? Have they narrowed it down to this area?” Tony was already itching to start tracking H.Y.D.R.A agents and take them down.
“They have it pieced together that I am not in America anymore. But I don’t think they are close to figuring out I’m in Wakanda, and even if they did, this is probably the safest place in the world to be” unless H.Y.D.R.A planned on storming Wakanda with undefeatable monsters, they weren’t going to get in.
“So you’ll be safe here?” Tony knew instantly from the way that Steve looked away that he wouldn’t like what Steve was about to respond with.
“They are killing innocent men when they realize it isn’t me” Steve protested, and Tony’s grip tightened.
“So you’re going to sacrifice yourself for these men? What about our kids, what if something happens to you?” What about me? Tony’s voice started to rise, only controlling the volume when Maria whined in protest.
“I am thinking about our kids. It’s why I’m not going to do anything stupid”, reckless maybe, but Tony didn’t need to know that, “but five men have been killed simply because they look like me. I can’t let them die Tony, I just can’t. These men have families, friends, lovers, maybe even kids of their own. They’ll never go home to them again, all because of me” he had already been lectured over how stupid this could turn out to be, and he didn’t need another one. This was something he had to do, and yes, it sucks because he has people he needs to live for, but so did those men. At least he can defend themselves, they can’t.
“And what happens if something goes wrong? What if you don’t come home?” and when Tony said home, he wasn’t referring to this place. He was referring to the tower, their actual home. The one filled with all of their memories, good and bad, that he wouldn’t trade for the world. If Steve was captured, or worse, what if he never came home? What if they never fixed themselves? No, Tony couldn’t let that happen.
“Tony, I’ve been dealing with H.Y.D.R.A since I was first given the serum. I can handle myself. Besides, if something goes wrong, I know I’ve got someone who won’t stop looking for me” he smiled, gently prying his wrist from Tony’s grip so that he could continue making breakfast.
“Damn straight”
“Language” Steve responded, voice quiet but teasing. Tony fondly rolled his eyes at the memory, but his gaze turned sharp shortly after.
“So what is your plan?” more importantly, when did he need to be available. If he couldn’t stop Steve, then Steve couldn’t stop him from joining.
“I was planning on waiting until after you had left to put a plan into motion. I was thinking I would try and go somewhere H.Y.D.R.A would most likely be, maybe Germany, or near Sokovia. They have bases along the Alps. The plan so far is that I’ll get spotted by them, I’ll make sure they confirm it’s me, and then I’ll get out. They’ll know what I look like, and they can stop killing innocent men”
“It’s risky. If you catch them off guard you have the upper hand. But, you don’t know what every H.Y.D.R.A agent looks like, and every H.Y.D.R.A agent knows what you look like. Most likely they’ll attack first, giving them the upper hand” Tony didn’t like it. This plan was to risky, to many mistakes could happen. And H.Y.D.R.A would capitalize on any mistake they could. Give them an opening, they take the shot.
“It’s the only plan. I can’t exactly post photos of me, the last thing I need is Ross figuring out where I am and what I look like, and sending his minions after me. Besides, I won’t be alone. I’ll have Nat, Bucky, and Sam”
“And me” Tony said seriously, but Steve shook his head.
“Absolutely not”
“Excuse me? You may be the Captain, but when have I ever listened to your orders?” who the hell did Steve think he was, to tell Tony he couldn’t be there when the man he loved most in the world was going to be in danger?
“Tony, you’re a distraction, and I can’t have you there” as soon as the words left his mouth, Steve knew he should have worded them differently. The way he said it made him sound like an asshole, like Tony was a liability.
“I’m a distraction? What the hell does that even mean? I’m so bad at following orders that you have to babysit me to keep me in line?” Tony hissed, standing and storming over to him.
“No, that’s not-” Steve tried to explain, but Tony kept going.
“I get I’m not a supersoldier, or a spy, or an assassin, but I’m not a liability! Is that what you think, that I’m so weak you’ll be distracted trying to keep me safe? Or are you going to be so busy looking over your shoulder, making sure I’m not about to shoot you, or to make sure I haven’t called Ross’s men in? Because you still don’t trust me? Is that why you were going to hide this? Because if that is what you think of me, then let me tell you-”
“NO!” Steve yelled, slamming his hand down on the counter and watched in horror as it cracked. Not enough for it to fall apart, but the entire counter top now looked like a spider web, lines going in every direction.
“Damn it” Steve hissed, rubbing a hand over his face. He could hear Maria and James crying, not expecting the loud and scary noise, and Steve wanted to beat himself up. He was just messing everything up this morning. He walked over to them to try and calm them down, but they flinched away from him, and Steve felt his heart break.
His kids were scared of him.
“What the hell is going on out here?” Rhodey exclaimed, walking into the kitchen to see the twins crying, Steve looking ready to cry, Tony starring in shock, the counter broken, and the frying pan starting to release black smoke as whatever was cooking was starting to burn.
“Can you” Steve waved his hand at the twins, knowing it should be him comforting his kids, but he couldn’t. Not when they were scared of him. Before Rhodey could answer Steve was already leaving the kitchen, heading to his bedroom.
“I heard a bang and a shout, is everything ok?” Wanda met him in the hallway followed by Vision, looking very intimidating with her fingers sparking red and her matching pj’s that were covered in hearts, paired with her bed head.
“Go help Rhodey” Steve walked past, finally reaching his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Was he over reacting? Maybe, but he was tired and stressed, and he exploded. Everyone was allowed to explode, right?
‘Not with their kids right there. Great parenting Rogers. Now your kids are scared of you’ his mind told him, and he sighed. His mind supplied him with his own childhood abuse. Hiding in closets and under the bed when his father came home drunk. It was all pointless, his father always knew where he was. And, if he was caught hiding the beating was worse. The first sign that his father wasn't ok was he started coming home angrier. Was this a sign that-
A faint knock on the door took him out of his head, and he was tempted to ignore it, but when he heard Tony’s quiet ‘can I come in?’ he knew he couldn’t.
“It’s open” he called, voice a little shaky as he tried to calm himself down. Tony walked in, and immediately sat down on the bed beside him, not bothering to tiptoe around him.
“They flinched” Steve whispered when Tony didn’t speak. They had never flinched from him before.
“You made a loud noise, and they got scared. They got scared of the situation, they aren’t scared of you” Tony tried to assure him, but he shook his head sadly. Tony grabbed Steve’s shoulder and forced him to look at him.
“Steve, they aren’t scared of you. They aren’t even going to remember this when they grow up. I promise”
“But what if I lose my temper when they are older? What if-”
“Don’t. Don’t even finish that sentence. You are nothing like either of our fathers, and you never will be” Steve stared into Tony’s eyes, and slowly found himself nodding. If Tony said so, then it must be so.
“I didn’t mean it in a bad way you know” Steve told him quietly.
“I know. I’m sorry I blew up like that. I know, well I hope, that you trust me”
“I do” Steve told him, and Tony must have believed him because he smiled softly.
“So what did you mean by the distraction comment?” Steve ran a hand through his hair, as he thought about how to answer, before saying fuck it, and deciding to just go for it.
“If you’re with me when we fight H.Y.D.R.A I won’t be focusing on my fight. I’m going to be watching you, I’m going to be making sure that they don’t even get five feet from you. I could jeopardize the entire mission because I won’t be able to concentrate. Because if anything happens to you, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I can’t lose you Tony. Not again. Not permanently” what was he supposed to do if H.Y.D.R.A got to Tony? He couldn’t protect his best friend from H.Y.D.R.A, and it still hurts him to know that he failed Bucky. He can’t lose Tony, not Tony. It will destroy him.
“Well guess what Steve? I can’t lose you either. I’m just getting you back” Tony stroked his cheek, and he leaned into the touch. “So if you’re fighting, I’m fighting. And I don’t give a damn if Ross sees Iron Man fighting alongside you, we can cross that bridge when it happens” and the way Tony said it, so determined, told Steve it would probably be easier to convince Bucky to cut his hair then it would be to stop Tony.
“Ok” Steve finally agreed, not wanting to fight any longer.
“So” Tony started when the silence had continued for a few minutes. “You still want to give me a tour of Wakanda?” And Steve smiled and found himself nodding his head.
“Let’s go find a bird other than a robin or a cardinal”