Chapter 3
Proposing at a party was a good, easy plan. Steve was good at easy plans, after all he was the dude who had entered several Hydra facilities by knocking on the door. He would take Tony in a private room, propose and then they could either go back to the party and sad-drink or announce all their friends the good news.
It was a nice party. Natasha and Bruce were exchanging pleasantries at the bar, Tony and Thor were discussing who had the best boyfriend, Maria was drinking champagne and complaining about the lack of ladies (Steve made a mental note of introducing her later to Helen Cho), Rhodes was trying to tell his new joke to everyone who would listen, a bunch of veterans were getting drunk somewhere, some young elegant women were chatting on a couch and even Sam was there, even though he still had no news on their “missing person case”.
But, and Steve should know that by now, plans never went as expected. There was always something to derail them. A tesseract, Red Skull, mad scientist saved on a computer, evil twins... This time, it was a robot. It peacefully wheeled inside the room while they were all trying to lift Mjolnir. It made a beeline to Thor and showed him something on a screen. Then the Asgardian smashed his glass on the floor, screaming “Victory !!” went to Bruce and tenderly wrapped him in his arms, whispering something. Tony sneaked up to the robot, typing and reading stuff and then made an excited face, almost immediately concealed. Steve felt a bit left out but also felt like this wasn't the right moment at all to propose. Whatever was going on would take precedence.
-Attention everyone ! called Thor
Silence fell upon the party, even the music stopping. Bruce tugged Thor's sleeve and whispered something to him.
-Uh, yeah, right. Could the Avengers...assemble...over here please ?
They lead them to an adjacent closed room, while the party resumed on the other side of the wall. Thor and Bruce were absolutely beaming with pure joice. So they probably weren't announcing an upcoming battle. In this case, only Thor would have been smiling. As soon as the door was closed Thor boomed :
-I am pregnant ! Bruce and I are going to have a baby !
-Hell yeah ! Project Green Bean is on tracks ! shouted Tony
-Please stop calling it that, asked Bruce, unable to keep himself from smiling
Steve had a brief moment of “what ? How ?” but Sarah Rogers had not raised her son to ask rude questions, so he decided that the “how” was none of his business and congratulated the pair along with everyone.
-I'm going to record this baby the best CD of lullabies there ever was, announced Natasha.
-I didn't know you could sing, remarked Tony.
-She has a very soothing voice, said Bruce.
-Let me know if you need baby clothes or something, offered Rhodes, we still have all the stuff from when my niece was a baby.
-So that's why Helen Cho was asking if Thor was coming to the party, started Clint. I mean, usually when people ask that it's because they want to stare at your muscles, since some people are attracted to that, but Helen's a lesbian, so it made no sense, even though some people say you're the god of lesbians, because you wear plaid...I guess ? But actually she was asking because she was concerned wether you'd drink or not, right ? I mean, she's been dropping by a lot these few months, I guess she was checking on you ?
-Helen Cho is a lesbian ?? exclaimed Maria right before exiting the room
-What was Maria doing there ? Asked Sam. Didn't we say “avengers only” ?
-You drunk ? Alcohol ? Tonight ? Asked Bruce and Tony at the same time
-Only a bit, sheepishly answered Thor, and I smashed down my glass as soon as the robot gave me the news. No more drinking for the following eight months, I promise !
-And, Clint, just so you know, Dr Cho was helping me with the robots I developed, they're the ones checking on Thor's health. Bruce helped too. With the robots, I mean, I assume he took a larger part in the conception, added Tony with a wink.
Bruce groaned and hid his face in his hands, probably blushing. Thor wrapped his arm around his boyfriend's shoulders and kissed the top of his head. Steve realized that Tony's mysterious project had been centered around helping their friends and he felt a huge wave of relief. Thhat was so much better than everything he had feared, like a bunch of sattelites building a shield around the world or an army of peace-keeping robots...
-I would like to apologize, resumed their asgardian friend, for my bersek moments these past six months. You might have noticed I had, once a month, a week where I was as intent on smashing things as Bruce when he gets all green and there's no cookies left in the kitchen. I had forgotten what it was like to have a period and these are very painful.
-There's no need to apologize, intervened Natasha, I remember having them and these can be nasty. I'd be mad with rage too if they came back...
-Thank you. In order to conceive I had to stop taking my magic potion... Wait, on Midgard you call it an hormonal injection. It's the same thing, it's just on Asgard we call it magic, and here on Midgard you call it medicine. But yeah it's the same stuff that midgardian trans men take, Bruce checked, same molecules, same formula, same syringe, just a different name. Anyway. Periods are painful, having them when you're trying to have a baby is upsetting and that's why I kept breaking stuff around here. But now, the asgardian green bean has been conceived !
-Don't call it that... How did you even find a worse nickname for our child ?
-Our child !!! Bruce, we're having a baby !!!
The happy couple embraced as their friends cheered and Steve exchanged a sappy smile with Tony. Maybe this wasn't their night yet but he was happy to share moments like this with him. They all rejoined the party and peacefully enjoyed the rest of the night.