Phone Call
Nicholas J. Fury was a dead man the next time he offered Carol Danvers an easy job. The next time he said any assignment was going to be easy she would fly through the nearest S.W.O.R.D. ship and tell him in person.
It wasn't likely to happen, she admitted to herself but it was a nicer thought than yet another security meeting.
Carol's presence on Earth namely New Asgard was technically valid. Valkyrie was such a (in)famous intergalactic figure that bringing in an expert on that front was reasonable.
Plus it wasn't like she wanted to leave the safety of one of her best friends in the Guardian's hands.
As things tended to do to Carol things spiraled from there. One expert after another was soon reassigned for perfectly good reasons, of course. Apparently nobody on the staff of S.H.I.E.L.D or S.W.O.R.D. wanted to impinge on Captain Marvel's expertise.
They were just scared of her. She only called that one so-called expert a useless waste of oxygen and they act like it’s a trend.
It was all bullshit of course. She had been unfailingly polite. Until they started fucking up. She probably could have phrased things better but one by one the other experts fled and soon she was solely in charge of all security for the wedding.
Fine, this time, she did it all to herself…
Even so there was no reason the personal hell of her own making was currently making seating charts when none of the guests had responded to the invitation yet.
She was considering photoning the chart and starting from scratch when her phone started to ring.
She almost let it go to voicemail but at least messing with someone on the other end of a prank call or wrong number was better than this.
"This had better be good," she announced in a bored but commanding voice, "Danvers speaking."
The line was quiet but Carol could hear a male voice as it squeaked out a muttered "Oh Shit,"
"Oh Shit's isn’t what I normally answer to, but I am feeling generous. Before I trace this call, who the hell is this?"
"Peter Parker ma'am , Carol it's Peter you know Spiderman," the squeak ended a pitch higher hope hanging on the end of it.
Peter Parker, of course she remembered Peter. The kid has been young when they first met, absolutely not voting age on any world she knew of. In her mind's eye Parker would always be that awed and terrified mass of brown hair and puppy dog eyes that she had claimed the Gauntlet from.
Nice kid. They had worked tangentially since then but they weren't buddies like that. Why was the Spider-kid calling?
"Okay, Peter Parker," she said, leaning back in her chair smirking "What can I do for you?"
“Do for me, nothing, nothing I am totally fine,” the boy responded faster than a Chitaurai Speeder, “Like, you are totally going to laugh about this later, or maybe you won’t. But I meant to call Peter Quill instead and my finger slipped, which is weird, I know. B-But all of my space people are on a seperate list than my Earth people. And so because of that You and Quill just happen to sit next to each other on the phone, so i went to hit Quill’s name but you know i hit you since M comes before Q..I can just hang up now and we can forget this ever happened..”
The kid trailed off as soon as he processed what he had actually been saying.
Carol couldn’t hold back the laughter in her voice as her smirk became a full blown grin. “Sorry kid, it doesn’t work that way; you butt dialed me.” She put her feet firmly on the desk, “That means you don’t get off the phone until you tell me why you needed Quill. You aren’t off planet or something right?”
“No, No, I’m very much on Earth, but I appreciate it, it’s not a big deal really. I just was going to call him about something personal.” Carol could almost feel the kid pulling away from the phone in embarrassment.
Carol snorted, “If you want to call Quill about personal stuff, that’s obviously your right Parker; but what about Quill makes you think he has his shit together to the point one of his answers would be useful to you?”
“You’re right,” Parker admitted with a sigh, “I just couldn’t think of anyone else who might be able to help me. It’s really personal.”
“Okay, look kid,” Carol sighed straightening herself up into a sitting position again, he voice pitched lower and softer “Obviously I’m not Quill, but I’ve seen a lot on a lot of different worlds. I don’t think there is a personal question I haven’t answered or dealt with myself. I could try to help you out if you really want some objective advice.”
“I appreciate it Captain, I mean I really do, but you are probably way too busy for this, it’s nowhere in your league.”
“Peter Parker,” Carol corrected automatically “Before you called I was falling asleep at my desk, if you want help I am available, consider it a one time special...spill kid.”
“Alright,” Parker took a deep breath,”You know the wedding coming up in a few months?”
“I’m vaguely aware of it,” Carol said non committedly, darting her eyes around her makeshift office
“Well, yeah, I got an invitation, which is awesome, but there is the whole issue of my guest for the wedding,”
“Hold on, you are worried about your guest?,” Carol snorted, “Weren’t you dating that brunette that works for Mrs. Stark, the straightforward one?”
“MJ,” Parker confirmed, “Yeah we’ve been dating for a few years now,”
“That’s good, but hold on,” Carol continued without much of a pause, “Wilson said you were dating that guy who does a lot of the Avenger’s tech, what happened with that?”
“Nothing happened,” Parker said annoyed now, “Harley and I are still together…”
“Oh,” Carol’s eyes widened in realization, “Oh!”
“Yup,” Parker added flatly.
“And they know about each other?”
“Yup”
“SO” she said drawing out the vowel, “What’s the problem?”
“What do you mean what’s the problem!?” Parker half yelled his frustration clear now, “The invitation says I can only bring ONE of them.”
“Earth,” Carol muttered in despair, “Peter believe me, I know this feels complicated but it’s not entirely your fault.”
“What do you mean, ‘not entirely my fault’?” Parker said his frustration now on full display
“Nevermind that,” Carol said breezily, while glancing at the guest list for the wedding “Do you have a favorite local bar?”
“Yeah, McRary’s why?” Parker answered distractedly,
“Because in twenty minutes you are going to meet me there and we are going to talk about this face to face like sane people.” Carol said decisively already putting paperwork away.
‘I can’t let you do that,” Parker protested, “There is zero reason for you to fly out here just to hear me complain.”
“Trust me, it’s no big deal.” Carol assured him, “Believe it or not, you are doing me a favor here.”
“If you say so,” Parker said doubtfully then sighed, ‘There’s no way I can talk you out of this?”
“Not unless the world is ending,” Cariol said, course already plotted
“Okay fine, see you in twenty.”
“See ya, Parker.”
Carol ended the call and looked up to see Valkyrie dressed casually holding her bridle and a sword at her belt. Val was playing idly with the bridle and leaning against the doorframe looking directly at Carol, “And where exactly do you think you are going? ”
“To go make things right,” Carol admitted, “I screwed up things for the Spiderkid, Val.”
“It sounded like it,” Valkyrie acknowledged with a small grin, “I did not mean to listen in but Jane wanted to know where we were with the whole Selvig thing.”
“It’ll be fine,” Carol said waving off the question, “If we need to I can bully Strange into pulling him out of whatever side dimension he ended up in, I’m actually more worried about the kid.”
“Then it is not just an excuse to blow all of this off and go drinking then?” Valkyrie said skeptically.
“A little bit of that,” Carol admitted then sighed, “I fucked up Val,”
“Sounds like it,” Valkyrie agreed with a small smile, “That is why I am going with you, All-fathers know if I let you go off by yourself you are going to make it worse.”
“That’s not true,” Carol protested,
Valkyrie raised an eyebrow,
“Ok fine, I think I could use the help If I am being honest.”
“I thought so,” Valkyrie acknowledged, “Let me grab Jane and we will be off.”