Youth

𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞, 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭
~
Peter stares at the room surrounding him. Sure, it’s been used time and time again, you know, after. But, today, it looks different. It feels like something’s missing. Because something is. It’s been gone for a long time. The problem is, Peter can still feel his ghost. The ghost of a person that once was.
~
𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬
~
The empty room suddenly feels smaller. Like the walls are closing in. He’s trapped by something that isn’t there. An invisible force. The known fact that his aunt will never see her lover again. The known fact that he would never see his uncle again. The man who raised him. The man who held him while he cried for the parents that never came back. He left the room and trudged down the hall to his own bedroom. He sat on the bed and picked up the picture frame he kept on his nightstand. Him, his aunt, his uncle, all smiling at the camera. How it should be.
~
𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞, 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞
𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞
~
He looked down at the smiling faces once again and couldn’t help but be filled with rage. He threw the frame at the ground. He watched the glass shatter and break into millions of tiny pieces. He covered his mouth with his hand.
~
𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬
'𝐂𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐮𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐬
~
He’d done it. He’d broken it. Of course he had he messed everything up. It was his fault and no one else’s. His breath caught in his throat, he let out a muted whimper. After that, silent tears rolled down his cheeks.
~
𝐒𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐮𝐧
~
He had let his anger get the best of him. He was angry at himself. For not trying harder to save him. For being dropped off at their door and expecting them to take him in. Sure, he was only a baby, but it didn’t matter. They’d never wanted a child. It was his fault. All of it. His parents’ deaths. His uncle’s death. Everything.
~
𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠
~
He stared at the shards of glass covering his floor. The picture still staring up at him. He not so carefully picked it up and out of the glass. He folded it neatly and placed it into his pocket. Not aware of the blood that now covered his hands.
~
𝐖𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬
𝐖𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡
~
Harley knew what day it was. He knew Peter would be freaking the fuck out. He needed to be there for his boyfriend. May had told him to check on Peter earlier that day as well.
Peter had given him the rundown about what had happened with his uncle a while ago. How he felt to blame. That was the night both of them had shared their awful pasts to the other.
He took out the key to the apartment and made his way in.
~
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐬
𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐰𝐞'𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡
𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞
~
“Peter. Hey darling.” Harley whispered.
Peter met his eyes, but didn’t move. So, Harley continued to softly speak to him.
“Baby, I’m going to get some stuff to clean off your hands, ok?”
He formed it like a question so Peter could refuse if he wanted to, but he did get a slight nod.
~
𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬
'𝐂𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐞
~
Harley came back to the room with a small first aid kit. He sat next to Peter and held out his hand. Peter laid his hand palm-up on top. Harley worked quickly and carefully on the glass pieces. And slowly cleaned each cut. When he was finished he turned Peter’s hand over and kissed his knuckles.
Harley smiled to himself a little when he realized that Peter was wearing one of his hoodies (which was slightly oversized on him). Okay, time to focus.
“I know baby. It’s hard. It’s really hard. But, it gets better. I promise it does.”
Peter laid his head on Harley’s chest.
~
𝐖𝐞'𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐮𝐧
~
But, Peter felt like he couldn’t cry. He couldn’t be weak. He was Spider-Man. He was a superhero with superpowers. He was strong. This was stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. Life was hard, he already knew that. What was the point of getting upset about this? It was in the past. He had to move on. He wouldn’t break.
~
𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞
𝐈𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬
𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭
𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭
𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭
~
Harley started to brush out Peter’s hair with his fingers.
“Peter please don’t do this to yourself.”
That was it, all it took. He shattered, just like the picture frame. All the emotions finally spilled over the top. He couldn’t help it. And Harley held him closer.
~
𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥, 𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞
𝐀 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭
~
“I’m sorry I can’t be strong.” Peter said through the tears.
Harley took his face between his hands.
“You don’t always have to be the hero Petey. I promise I’m not leaving you. I promise I’ll never forget you. You can be upset. You can be angry. You can do whatever makes you happy. And if that means leaving me I’ll do it in a heartbeat to make sure you are doing what you want to. Ok? You don’t have to be alone.”
~
𝐌𝐲 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐩 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭
𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝, 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐭
~
Hours later, Peter felt calmer then he had in years. Listening to his boyfriend’s steady heartbeat and feeling gentle fingers brush through his curly hair. He felt warm and pleased. He knew it would take time to help him, but time was relative. He’d take as much of it as he could.
~
𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞
~
He looked up at Harley.
“I love you, Harls.”

“And I love you, Petey.”
~

And who’s to say if May walked into the room and took a picture of them sleeping. Cause dammit, young love is a beautiful thing.