Mutiny

“Why are you doing this?” He asked again. “Or do you make a habit of taking in waifs and strays and lost puppies?”

Maya looked over at the tall broad shouldered man now relaxing in her kitchen, sitting in Carinas chair. It was a valid question. Beckett had made her life hell. He’d bullied her, harassed her, demeaned her. He was a pig at times, a misogynistic sexist pig. He was rude to Carina. He disrespected her wife.

He made bad call after bad call at work.
Putting them in danger more than once.
And then there was the day Dean died and Vic was electrocuted.
Was that his fault? Technically no.
But Maya would have handled that call differently, had tried to have him see things her way.
Had she been Captain would Dean Miller still be alive?
Maybe or maybe the fates had already determined his death.

At times over the last 20 months or so she had truly hated this man. This man who’d made perfect espresso this morning with Carina’s Moka pot and was now sitting in Carina’s chair in Carina’s kitchen.
Where Carina should be, where Carina chose to no longer be.

“I gave you that bottle.”

Was that it? Was it guilt that had her wait for him as he attended an AA meeting across town last night.
Had her go for dinner with him after.
Had her bring him home last night when it was clear he shouldn’t be alone.

“Less than one block away from the station there is a Liquor store, Bishop. And at least two more on my way from the Station to my place. And countless bars. You think I drink because you gave me a bottle of whiskey?”

“You weren’t drinking, you have alcohol issues and I gave you a bottle in the hope you’d start drinking and wreck your career.” She exhaled loudly. She’d said it and felt marginally better before immediately thinking of Carina. Of how disappointed Carina would be if she knew. Just another disappointment to her. But this she’d not be surprised. Not any more.

“ I was impressed. It was ice cold and ruthless. You impressed me.”

She just shook her head. That wasn’t her, not the her she wanted to be. Not the her the sweet 3 year old should grow up to be. Not the version of her that deserved to be happy, the version Carina loved.

“You want to know when I opened it?”

She shrugged her shoulders. Last night they’d talked about their lives, she’d talked about Carina a lot. He mentioned his ex wife, with bitterness that morphed into regret and what-ifs. Talked about their mothers, not their fathers. But they hadn’t really talked about his drinking on the job.

If there was to be an investigation the less she knew the better.

“The night you did a double somersault of the treadmill and ended up in Psych.”

“What?” On a scale of one to ice cold that was Antarctica.

“ I raised a glass to you, Bishop. Not sure if I was impressed or jealous or just amused.” And he stared across at her, brow furrowed as if he was still trying to gp figure it out.

“Impressed? Jealous? Amused?” She wanted to punch him

He laughed. “You don’t see the funny side? We run into burning buildings for a living, inhale more toxic fumes than can be good for us, prepare ourselves to be in physical danger every day and you end up almost killing yourself on a treadmill.”

“I almost died. Not one of my colleagues thought to check on why I’d missed a call for the first time in my career. Excuse me if I fail to see the humour.”

“I threw everything at you, Bishop, and you sucked it up. Like a robot. And then you fell off a treadmill and your wife had you sectioned. And then she left you. If you’re going to hit rock bottom, that is one helluva a way to do it.” He raised his coffee cup as if in salute.

She clenched her jaw. She knew what happened. But hearing it set out so casually wasn’t easy.

“Is she coming back?” The softness of the question surprised her juxtaposed as it was against the earlier sarcasm of his earlier remarks.

She had to come back, Maya had to believe that. She had to believe that after time and space her wife would come back.

She nodded. Fingers tightened around her cup.

“Then why are you offering me a place to stay? I’m pretty sure Italy hates me even more than you do.”

“Carina doesn’t hate anyone, she’s not..”

“She thinks I bullied her wife and..”

“You did.”

“Ok. Maybe I went too far on occasion and…” he paused, “…fair enough…I did go too far on occasion, I apologise.”

Maya just shook her head. It seemed so inconsequential now. He seemed so inconsequential now. All that mattered to her right now was Carina coming home. For her marriage to be ok, for them to be ok, no better than ok, magnifico again.

“ So you’re back at work, you seem to be…” he pointed his ginger at his head moving it in circles indicating craziness, “… not unstable anymore so…”

“ You really are a prick.”

He guffawed. “So where is she?”

“She just needs time. And Space. So I am giving her time and space.”
She spoke confidently. A confidence she didn’t truly feel.

“Hmmm….time to realise she doesn’t want you in her space or maybe wants someone else all up in her space instead.”

“Carina isn’t like that, Carina wouldn’t…” her reply interrupted by a smug “if you say so, Bishop.”

She was seething. She should have left him at that damned AA meeting last night. What was she thinking.

“It’s clinic day today. Maybe she’ll tell you all about the pretty little pregnant patient from last clinic day, the one who asked her out. Or maybe you could ask her?”

“I. Trust. My. Wife.” And she did. Carina wouldn’t. She just wouldn’t. Of that she was confident.

He looked at her then far less smugly than before added, “ I trusted my wife too until she took herself and our kids to Portland to live with her Pilates Instructor. Who by all accounts is a very nice man.

Take my advice, Bishop, if you want her back home, make sure she knows that.”

“She does.”

They both got their things ready to leave in silence.

A silence broken by Beckett.

“I got an email back from Ross earlier granting me my request. She’s going to be at Nineteen later today.”

Maya inwardly groaned. Today was going to be hard anyway even if yesterday hadn’t happened. Seeing Carina, having her close by all day was going to be amazing and excruciating simultaneously.

And now Ross would be there, no doubt to announce a new Captain. Would she be brazen enough to appoint Sullivan or was Andy finally going to emulate her father.

Or maybe Beckett had told her about the Mutiny anyway, one last parting shot. Or someone else did. Maybe today they’d all get sacked. Or she’d be transferred to a far flung Station where she’d not see Carina ever again. Unless she came home.

“I need to collect my stuff from Nineteen. You driving in?”

…………………………..

Maya liked to be early and so it was 35 minutes before the shift began when she and Beckett entered the Station. He went to his Office and she went upstairs to change.
Their arrival together and in the same car had not gone unobserved.

“Is Beckett still wearing his clothes from yesterday?” Travis noticed what a man wore and had noticed that, out of uniform, Beckett was quite the snazzy dresser.

“ Did they travel in together in Maya’s car?” Vic was more interested in that tidbit.

“No way!” They verbalised the same thought in stereo.

………………………

Carina arrived early too.

Last time she was almost late and she got all those looks of pity and sympathy hugs, thank you Gibson, and basically had her every move watched all day as if she was some fragile flower, thank you Gibson and Warren.

She was not a fragile flower. She was not! She was tough and strong and she had survived heart break before and she would survive this.

Her father had broken her heart too many times to attempt to recall.
Her mother died suddenly after a concealed illness, her brother was murdered in front of her.
She lost her Nonna and countless relatives in a damn pandemic for god sake and she had survived it all.

She would survive Maya Bishop extracting her heart from her body, quartering it and setting the four pieces on fire and ferociously stabbing them till they no longer pulsed. Because that’s what it felt like.

She would survive even that.

Or she thought she would. Until the voicemail. Until the brief encounter at home.
Until Maya tried to poison her with the easiest to bake dish of all time. She still felt nauseous thinking about it. Until Maya turned up at her Hotel, so kind so soft, so gentle. Until her Maya showed up.

And she’d given her space since. Yes she texted her twice a day. Good morning and Good night. Sometimes with a heart emoji other times with an actual I love you.
But then she gave her all the time ime and space between Good morning and Good night just as she’d asked.

Could she really survive losing Maya? Could she really follow up her words in the Hotel room of “ I’m done.” Or could she survive going home and finding her Maya was in fact the real imposter?

So this time she arrived early, wanted to set up for her day without interruption. If Maya wanted to say her Good Morning I love you then she could do it bright and early and then they could each get on with their day.

What if Maya had a patient that needed Carina’s assistance, what if someone came in with a stab wound and they had to ride in the aide car to Grey Sloan together, Maya astride the patient doing CPR, her desperate trying to stem a bleeder. Hands brushing off each other, shouting instructions together?

What if they didn’t need have any interaction. What if Maya got tired of her need for time and space. What if a cute guy asked Maya out within earshot or a hot woman.

What if, what if.

Walking into the Beanery to make herself a coffee Maya wasn’t about but Andy, Travis and Vic were having what seemed like a good gossip. She walked over unseen, her sneakers making little sound.

“I’m telling you what we saw, Andy!”

“Vic, there’s absolutely no way Maya would..”

“Beckett and Maya did the walk of shame in here not less than 10 minutes ago, I’m telling you.” Travis nodded.

“What did Maya do?” Carina couldn’t help but ask, “What is Walk of Shame?”

All three looked liked bunny rabbits caught in the glare of an oncoming car. She was pretty sure that’s how the idiom went.

“Dr. de Luca…” Travis stuttered, “I’ve to go, be somewhere, Mayor thing important thing, must be somewhere else” and he literally ran down the stairs.

Andy said “ Actually speaking of Maya, I need to go discuss the… fundraising for hungry orphans in, in…Toronto appeal with her right now.” and she headed to the shower room at some speed

Orphans in Toronto?

“So Vic,what is Walk of Shame?”

Vic Hughes was a terrible liar, she should never play poker so when she said “ Who knows, now that Travis is a politician he talks in riddles” then fled even faster than Andy and Travis had, Carina knew she was lying.

She shrugged her shoulders and sighed. It was probably just some more Station drama Maya had got involved in, not even a week back on active duty. She took her coffee and headed to the barn to get ready for her day.

She was there about 5 minutes before she sensed another presence arrive. Maya. Standing about 6 feet away, looking a little nervous.Fingers interlaced, her thumbs circling each other.

“Hi, I..I just came over to say Good Morning and to say have a good day.”

“Buongiorno, Bella.” The term of affection just couldn’t be silenced, especially with Maya looking so…so cute..and beautiful…and healthy. She couldn’t but help notice the quick smile on Maya’s face when the word was spoken.

“So I just wanted you to know that even though we’ll both be working the Clinic…I know you want time and, and space and I will respect…”

“Lieutenant Bishop, I need a quick word.” It was the Chief. She’d strode into the Barn moments before.

“I’ll be with you in a few, Chief Ross, I’m having a conversation with my wife and when we are done, I’ll come find you.”

“Actually Lieutenant I’m having a meeting with all the Lieutenants in the Captains office at start of shift and I wish to discuss something with you before that.” Ross had come straight over to them and was standing equidistant between them.

“Chief, I’m having a private conversation with Dr de Luca, who is my wife and my shift doesn’t start for 15 minutes so unless it’s a matter of life and death our conversation will have to wait, my wife takes priority.” It wasn’t said with any apparent animosity but it was said authoritatively all the same.

Ross backed away, jaw clenched with a cool “As you wish, Lieutenant” and neither of the wives missed the emphasis on her rank.

“Maya, you can’t speak to her like that, she’s your boss.”

“You’re my wife.”

Carina just stared then remembered, “Maya, what is ‘Walk of Shame’?”

Maya laughed, “Oh my God, Carina…” she wasn’t expecting that and for a moment she forgot, forgot their estrangement, forgot time and space, “…who’s been doing the Walk of Shame? Oh is it Amelia, again? Or is it Jo and Lincoln? because really…

“No, Maya, I heard it here earlier, what is a Walk of Shame?” Carina smiled now. This was so them, so easy, time and space suddenly seemed less important.

“Well usually when someone is seen sneaking out the door of somewhere they shouldn’t have been over night or…or comes in wearing yesterday’s clothes..so basically someone has been sleeping with someone they shouldn’t have been sleeping with. So you heard it here? Oh, oh, was it Andy? Because that guy Eli was sniffing around and…”

“It was you, You and Beckett, doing…” Carina stopped and shook her head, she knew, Maya would not. No.

Maya’s face had scrunched up in confusion, before breaking into a smile and then a loud laugh escaped, “ Beckett and me? Me and Beckett? And she laughed once again until the laugh stuck in her throat,

“Carina, you know that’s not…you know I wouldn’t…please say you know that. You, it’s you, only you that I want to be doing the Walk of Shame with, now, ever and…” she was just barely muttering now “… there would be no shame, we’d just be walking really so…” and of course she knew how this had started, “… God damn it it I hate this place sometimes.”

“Si, lo so. I know Maya.” And she did.

Chief Ross popped her head back in “Bishop?”

And Maya, without turning around, simply stretched out her arm, palm upright facing toward Ross in the universal sign for stop with an audible hiss and turned her full attention back to Carina.

“Beckett had a bad day yesterday, he needed a place to crash, so he stayed at ours. In the guest bedroom.”

“Why?”

“What why?”

“He had a bad day why did he have to stay at ours?”

“I didn’t think he should be alone. It’s a lonely place to be, where he was yesterday and..I..”

“You hate him, I hate him, he has been so awful to you, bambina? Why should it be you that has to take him in? Why is it always you? Always you that takes them in, Andy, Vic, now Beckett?” Carina was angry and she didn’t really know why.

“That’s different, Andy and Vic were my friends.”

“Si. And Captain Beckett is the opposite of that. He is not your friend and I don’t want that man in my home.”

Maya sighed. “I kind of told him he could stay longer if he needed to but…I can…”

“Why on Earth would you offer…why, Maya? Have you forgotten what he , how he treated you… the fake blood, the toilets, the misogyny, the..”

“Carina he pretty much hit rock bottom yesterday and I didn’t want him…it’s a bad place to be alone.” Maya toed at an invisible spot on the Barn floor, staring at the spot too “And I kinda owed him…”

Carina stared at her, waited till Maya looked upwards again, “How?”

Maya knew that this would be the moment she lost Carina. Maybe she’d already mentally checked out of their marriage. Maybe the pretty pregnant woman was what she wanted. Or a different pretty pregnant woman or a man who could make her that woman.

Or maybe it was just Maya she needed time and space from, for infinity.
If she was furious about the blackmail, scared about her accident, bitter about all else then the Bottle of Whiskey would put the tin hat on it.

Maybe in a sick coincidence she’d lose her wife and her job today. It would make sense. Ross would see the logic, if she knew about the Mutiny, others would be disciplined but she’d be dismissed for a second offence. A logic that somehow would not be applied to Ruiz or Sullivan.

“I have to go to this meeting but… afterwards can we talk? I’ll tell you about the meeting, about yesterday – as much as I can of it - I’ll tell you about… can you just promise me that you’ll listen? And if you hear stuff before our talk can you not just leap to assumptions and give me a chance to explain, to hear it from me.

And then I promise I’ll give you all the time and space you want.”

She sounded defeated. The nervousness from earlier gone, replaced by resignation.
It was all Carina could do to manage a “Si, ok.”

Maya still managed to give her her Good Morning I love you as she left.

…………………………..

She needed air. The clinic didn’t open till 8.30 and Jack , Ben and some of the others were busy getting booths set up, counting syringes, vials etc… she wasn’t needed.
So she stepped outside and immediately regretted it.

Beckett was filling his trunk with boxes and strode over to her when he saw her.

“Italy.”

“You know my name, Captain Beckett.”

He did that smug smile of his and she wanted to rip his stupido lips off his ugly face. She hated him. She’d seen him routinely humiliate her wife and even after he told her why she hated him more. She was so angry at Maya for giving this pathetic bully an excuse to torment her.

And that’s what he had done.

Her beautiful wife who made a stupid stupid mistake and these people just persecuted her for months. If only Maya had told her about the blackmail, then she would not have been so angry.

So many things could have been different if only Maya had told her.

And she knew there was something else now. And she wasn’t sure if she could take anymore.

“Doctor de Luca, you have such a lovely home.” And he was still smiling.

“Yes, and you slept in our guest room before you try to make some disgusting innuendo about my wife.”

“You should go home to your beautiful home and your beautiful wife.”

“ I am not going to talk about my wife or my marriage with you.” The man was so unbelievably insolent.

Beckett laughed, “ Your wife said the same thing, before talking and talking and talking about you. Time and space won’t make you happy, Dr de Luca. That woman loves you.”

“She said she owed you, what does that mean? “

“She doesn’t owe me a damn thing.”

“Then why does she…”

“Did she tell you about yesterday?”

Carina shook her head.

“Effective as of this morning I am no longer the Captain of Nineteen. A vacancy now exists. Bishop was somewhat instrumental in my taking time away. I have recommended her to be Acting Captain.”

Even though she’d known it, said it to Maya’s face, hearing it confirmed hurt. As always it was about the job. When she dismissed Ross earlier, twice in fact, Carina thought that maybe, just maybe but no. She already had the Captaincy in the bag.

“She’ll be happy so.”

“Do you think so? She told me specifically not to recommend her. That she did not want to be Captain at this time. She’ll probably be quite pissed that I recommended her.”

“She said what?”

“It’s not the right time, apparently, she has other priorities apparently. I have to admit I was a bit disappointed in her. I thought she was tougher, hell bent on her career but apparently someone or something has deflected her focus. Any ideas, Doctor de Luca?”

She shook her head. This made no sense whatsoever.

He moved away, turning back to say only. “Tell her thanks for the kind offer of accommodation but that I’ll be fine. I will miss that fine Moka pot of yours, it makes great espresso, once you treat her gently and with finesse.”

“Maya let you touch my Coffee Pot?” Annoyance clear in her voice.

Beckett laughed as he walked away.

……………………………………………………….

“As some of you may already know, Captain Beckett is taking a leave of absence for at least a month but he has intimated that it may be longer.”

Natasha Ross had been hearing negative reports about Sean Beckett for some time, and the training day fiasco had been the final straw. It was with some relief therefore she received his email the day before.

She couldn’t help but notice the tension in the Air at the commencement of the meeting. Ruiz and Herrera looked very nervous, Robert was looking anywhere but at her. And whereas yes their relationship was on the downlow his avoidance today was almost cartoonish. She made a mental note to ask him why before immediately deciding to do no such thing.

Bishop was the only who who didn’t seem tense. She presumed it was because of Beckett’s recommendation. A recommendation that had truly floored her. Beckett had been almost effusive in praise of Bishop, or at least as effusive as that laconic man might get.

Still the rudeness earlier rankled, and she would make sure that the Acting nature of the role was impressed upon her.

And Natasha Ross also felt the relief too at her announcement of Beckett’s departure.

“So a new Acting Captain is needed until Beckett returns. Captain Beckett is of the view that the person should come from the ranks of the Lieutenants at the Station and I tend to agree.”

She had been a Spotter in the Marines and she’d been good at it. Herrera looked nervous, Ruiz relieved, Bishop disinterested and Robert? His smug resting face looked a lot like his hopeful face. He always was a conundrum.

“ This Station has had its troubles recently and possibly it is time for one of you to step up again. You have all had experience one way or another of Captaining.

Beckett strongly recommended one person over the rest and given that he has worked with you all I am going to effectively defer to his choice and announce that Lieutenant Bishop will be the Acting Captain for the present.”

She saw it all. Hererra looked disappointed but hurt and betrayal seemed to dominate.
Robert looked disgusted.
Ruiz seemed surprised but content.

But Bishop. Bishop looked incredulous. She’d been wrong, Bishop had not expected this, had not known he’d recommended her. That was interesting.

But there was more. She was annoyed, very obviously so and conflicted.

“That conniving little bastard…” Maya stopped in mid sentence, “..sorry I meant to just think that…” She shook her head.

“Chief Ross, as sorry as I am to say this, I cannot accept the Captaincy of Nineteen at this moment in time.” She looked both relieved and sad at the same time. Relief seemed to dominate.

And again the reactions were interesting. All three shocked that Bishop was turning it down. The two men also looked impressed at the decision and that too was fascinating. Hererra, who’d looked hurt and betrayed now looked appalled.

“Maya, don’t, you can’t turn this chance away…you deserve this…you didn’t deserve what happened to you, none of it.”

“Chief, permission to say something?” Maya suddenly felt relieved. Relieved of a burden so heavy that it had threatened to destroy her

Ross just nodded.

“I was unjustly demoted. That is a hill I am prepared to die on. The action that led to my demotion is one I would take again in those same circumstances. I took it as a knowledgeable experienced and levelheaded Captain and it was proven to be correct. A child survived that would otherwise not.

Lieutenant Herrera backed me fully and bravely that day. She was reassigned for doing so. An action taken for no reason other than spite in my opinion.

The decisions taken against us were taken also to punish us and Nineteen for actions we took during the Race protests. Sullivan, Herrera and myself all stood up and were seen. As did the rest of Nineteen. It was not a popular decision in some quarters.

I was a good Captain and I hope one day to get the opportunity to be that again. But this is not the time. Everyone here knows my recent history on some level and right now my priority is to get better, fully better and my real priority is somewhere in this building right now.

I hope my refusal does not rule me out of future consideration?”

“It certainly will not, Lieutenant.” Natasha Ross knew in that moment that she would be reviewing Bishops entire career file in the coming weeks. She had underestimated her and possibly done her an injustice.

“One last thing, if I may. Ruiz and Sullivan will be good Captains, safe hands, but if you want to make this Station rise again, if you want a Captain to reunite us, to heal wounds it has to be Hererra. In my opinion.”

“I agree. 100%” Theo added emphatically.

Sullivan who was leaning against the window just smiled. His ambition remained as strong as ever, but if Bishop could be magnanimous then he could match that. Smiled and nodded his assent.

“Well, Lieutenant Hererra? Are you happy to accept the role of Acting Captain of Nineteen?”

“She is.” Maya answered for her

A few rounds of congratulations later Maya asked to be excused from the rest of the meeting on the somewhat flimsy basis that at least one Lieutenant was required at the Clinic.

…………………………..

“Hi.”

“Hey yourself. I’m just finished here, my friend Sebastian had a nasty fall from his tricycle and lacerated his knee. Maya looked at the little boy, he looked no more than Three, with tear tracks visible on his cheeks. His light brown hair, sallow skin and brown eyes couldn’t but send her thoughts in a plarticular direction.

“Well Doctor I bet Sebastian has been very brave and might get a lollipop or two for his troubles.”

After the little boy and his Dad was gone Maya asked to borrow her for 10 minutes.

“Maya…”

“Just ten minutes and I’ll leave you in peace, please Carina. Please.”

They sat at the quiet end of the empty beanery.

“Before everything goes pear shaped , before you get angry, I just.. I love you. I just need you to know that. I need you to really know that, to remember, whatever happens, ok?

“I know you do, Maya, I just need…”

“Time and space.” Maya’s most hated words now.

“I have to tell you something and I think maybe you might not need time and space after. The only reason you would need time and space in the first place is because you are trying to decide whether to leave me or not.”

“No, Maya…that’s…” was it true? She loved Maya. And she knew Maya loved her. But not the same way. She loved Maya with everything she had, Maya was first priority, she hoped she made it into Maya’s top 3. And that wasn’t enough. Not once she realised how deeply she desired to be a mother. Her child had to be the top priority in her life, in their other parents life. She wasn’t sure Maya could be that.

“Beckett is an alcoholic or at least is alcohol dependent. That’s why he’s gone, hopefully to get help. I took him to an AA meeting last night. Got him talking to Dr. Lewis too. We had dinner after and that’s why he crashed at ours. “

“Rock bottom?”

“Maybe.”

“ and you didn’t want him to be alone?”

Maya nodded.

“You were alone.”

“Only because I pushed you away, Carina.”

“You picked up everyone’s pieces, you picked up mine after Andrea, who picked up yours?”

She’d left her wife alone, she’d told herself Maya had made that choice, had told her they were done and she couldn’t stay. She realised now that maybe there was more than one read she had not gone home. Maybe her own guilt. Angry words when kinder words could have delivered the message just as effectively.

That as much as it was Maya to blame it was hers entirely.

“He was doing Cold Turkey? You know, giving up booze with no support system. I knew that and one night after a difficult call I…” Maya looked so ashamed.

“I’m sorry Carina, for everything, and I love you even if it’s not enough. Even if… I’m not the one you want anymore…”

“Maya, don’t.”

“I marched into his office, and I handed him an expensive bottle I knew he liked. A favoured whiskey. I’m a monster. And I hated him, at least partly, but Still what kind of person…I’m sorry.

I’ll give you what you want now. I’ll try to stay out of your way for the rest of the shift.”

Maya was half way to the Barn before Carina could even react.

What Maya did was awful but Beckett recommended her for Captain.

She hated the man, was put through hell by him, but stood by his side at an AA meetIng. She brought a man she despised to her safe space, their home so that he would not be alone.

Maya did for Beckett what she couldnt do for Maya.

And she had told him she didn’t want to be Captain.

What Maya did was awful but the Maya she fell in love with was anything but.

What did Maya say, “…even if I’m not the one you want anymore” and earlier that she only wanted to do the shameful walk with Carina’s for ever.

Maya loved her and..

“Hey, Carina…where’s Maya? Did she tell you what she did? Are you angry at her because…”. Andy looked worried but mostly ecstatic which was a weird combination.

“ Cause Carina, I have to tell you I just want to kiss your wife right now and also apologise to her and slap her for being so stupid and thank her, oh my God, thank her.”

“What did she do?”

“She turned down the Captaincy. Told Ross she shouldn’t have been demoted, made this big impromptu speech about it…”

Carina smiled, she bet she’d heard at least some of it a 1000 times back before Maya’s world had darkened so much she no longer believed in speeches.

“Wait she turned it down?”

“Said she wanted to heal,or get better but also her priority was elsewhere in the building, you Carina. Gotta say that part was a bit romantic.”

“ I don’t want her to give up her career for me. I never asked her to…”

“She told Ross that she’d like to be considered again just not right now so she’s not giving up her career just…pausing it.. are you angry at her, cause you don’t look exactly happy that she did that.”

“ I need to find my wife.”

She was assisting Ben with a rather malodorous homeless man who had suffered a burn on his inner thigh. The man was rather charming even if he did stink of booze on top of everything thing else.

“ Maya, yes Doctor de Luca.”

“Come find me when you are done, Bambina, my patient has a heart issue. “

Warren perked up, “ You need me for that?”

“No, just Maya.”

“Okay. “

Twenty minutes later she found Carina sitting alone on a gurney, curtains closed around her.

“You got your patient sorted?”

“No.” Carina shook her head sadly.

“They died?”

“No. Just their heart is very sore right now. “

“Carina, I don’t..

“ I am the patient, Bambina and my heart is…”

“Oh.”

“Si. I have a wife and I love her very much.”

“Do you?” She’d not said it once not after Maya said it multiple times.

“Si, la amo cosi tanto , so much. And she loves me too.”

“She does, Carina, way more than you know, way more.”

Carina smiled.

“What you did to Beckett, it was wrong, but you are not a monster, you are good and kind and… I love you and I only want to do the shameful walk with you too.”

Maya just swallowed hard. Maybe today wasn’t the day she was going to lose it all.

“ thank you for telling me what you did.”

“ he told me not too that it wasn’t my fault that he started drinking again but I still did it.”

Andy told me about the meeting.

“Oh.”

“You are an extraordinary woman Maya Bishop.”

“I…I m I just want to be better….”

I still need time, Maya…”

“Sure, okay.” She’d wait she’d wait as long as it took.

“But maybe not so much space.” She reached out a hand, one Maya eagerly grasped and pulled her towards her into a tight embrace.

“This, this here, this heals my heart.

Then Carina added, “And maybe soon not so much time either.”

The clinic went on, they both got busy, but glances were plentiful, and as the day wore on the smiles they wore got broader.

……………………………..

As things got tidied away at days end Ross found Maya in the medical store counting boxes of ibuprofen.

“You and I may have somewhat got off on the wrong foot, Bishop.

Maya expected that was as close to an apology as she would get so she nodded.

“Let’s start again. Bishop, nice to met you Im your new Chief , Chief Ross. I hear good things about you, hear you might be on track for a Captain position down the road.

Maya nodded, “I hear good things about you too, Chief. “

……………………………

Maya wondered if Carina would like to get a coffee after the Clinic was over, Carina said that there was an Italian restaurant across from hotel she’d been meaning to try.

She wasn’t quite ready to move home yet but they both knew it wouldn’t be long before she was.