the truth
“I’m sorry.” They’re laying in Stiles’ bed now that he was finally allowed to go home – it took a lot of convincing Pepper to even let him out of her sight.
“For what?” Isaac asks.
When they got back to the apartment John had to go back to work so the five of them all collapsed into one big puppy pile where he let himself be scented to the point that it was kind of ridiculous – he would have protested if he hadn’t missed it so much.
“Everything.” His voice cracks audibly. “Scaring you like that. Leaving. I never said goodbye.”
“Stiles,” Lydia takes his hand, “If you had stopped to tell us you were leaving, would you have actually been able to do it? To look us in the eye, tell us goodbye, and then leave Beacon Hills?”
“No.”
“Then why are you apologizing?”
“All we have ever wanted for you is to be happy and safe.” Erica tells him softly. “You couldn’t have that back home. Not with Scoot and Theo and all of the bad memories. You can have that here.”
“But I left you guys.”
Isaac whimpers and shakes his head where it’s buried in Stiles’ neck. Isaac doesn’t like it when he cries, he never has.
He runs his fingers through Isaac’s hair to calm him.
“The only way you could have made us angry with you, Stiles, is if you had stayed because of us.” Boyd surprises him with that. “We couldn’t live with ourselves if you had continued putting yourself hell because you couldn’t bear to leave us.”
Okay, wow. Big tears now. Yep, that got him.
Isaac whimpers again and Stiles decides to leave the subject alone for his sake. He accepts more hugs and reassuring hand-squeezes before they drift off to sleep.
About an hour later, everyone but Stiles is asleep, so he gets up and slips away to the bathroom to wash the tears off his face.
It’s the first moment he’s had alone since he woke up, so naturally he falls apart. He sits on the floor with his head between his knees as the fear sets in.
What if it’s not gone? What if a small part of it is still alive inside him?
He can’t control the powers. Hell, he doesn’t even want them. But is that because he’s afraid of them, or because it’s not him controlling them at all? What if he hurts someone?
Why can’t this shit just be over already? They’ve suffered enough at the hands of the Nogitsune – his hands, his brain unhelpfully reminds him – to last a lifetime.
“Stiles?” A soft knock on the door snaps him out of his head in a heartbeat. “Are you okay?”
He gets up and opens the door and is immediately pulled into a tight embrace. He wraps his arms around the other boy reassuringly. “I’m okay, Isaac.”
“No you’re not.”
“No, I’m not.” He agrees resignedly. “Come on, I’ll make something to eat.”
“I didn’t me to wake you.” Stiles says once they’re in the kitchen.
“I wasn’t asleep.” Isaac says as he hops up onto the counter adorably. Stiles surveys the circles under his eyes with a frown.
“How are you doing?”
“I’m okay.”
Wow. What a pair they make.
Isaac is even less convincing than Stiles was two minutes ago.
“I miss Derek.” Isaac looks down at his hands in his lap as he says it. “I can’t help but feel like if he were here, this wouldn’t have happened – you wouldn’t have had to leave because he would have kept Scott and Theo in check.”
“Sometimes I feel that way too.” He admits.
“It’s good to see you though. I feel like I’ve been going crazy back home.”
“I know the feeling. So what did you think of Thor?”
“Oh my God! I’m so mad at you for not telling me you knew the Avengers!”
He can’t help but throw his head back and laugh at that. I may have only been a temporary fix to get Isaac to smile, but it’s enough for right now.
Soon the rest of them find them, roused by the laughter, and they all join in. Stiles serves them food as he listens to them freak out over meeting the Avengers and they demand to know every detail of awesomeness that has happened since meeting them.
He keeps it light so that the smiles will say on their faces just a little longer.
“Do you have anything else we should know?” Lydia demands, but it’s in good nature. “Because I still think I should skin you and chop you up into bits for not telling me you knew Pepper Potts and Natasha Romanov. They’re only two of the most powerful and intelligent women in the world!”
“Oh, don’t even, Lys!” Stiles practically cackles. “Don’t think I didn’t see you and Natasha eye-fucking the whole time.” She blushes and mutters something under her breath that he doesn’t catch, but everyone else’s laughter is enough to make him laugh too.
“Like we didn’t notice the moment you and James had when you saw him.”
“There was no moment!” No one needs super-hearing to know he’s lying. “Okay, okay. Maybe I had a moment, but did you see him? Holy hell.”
“Why must you always pick the damaged ones?” Erica shakes her head. He frowns. “That’s James Barnes, Stiles. As in Bucky Barnes – the winter soldier.”
“Of course he is.” Stiles sighs and Isaac chuckles.
Fuck.
“Stiles, I’m home.” His dad calls.
“In here, Dad.” He calls. “You hungry?”
“Starving.” John says as he drops into the empty chair between Stiles and Lydia. “But I think that can wait for a minute, we need to talk. All of us.”
Fuck intensifies.
“Right.” He cringes.
“Why don’t you start at the beginning?” Lydia suggests. So much for smiles.
“So…I may have…accidentally…stumbled past SHIELD’s firewall while I was checking to see if any government agencies had proof that werewolves or anything existed and got kidnapped by Hawkeye.”
The fact that all his dad does is sigh resignedly and motion for him to go on really shows just how much crap Stiles has put him through over the years.
“I also…sort of…convinced him to wait until the next day to kidnap me so you wouldn’t find out?”
“Stiles…just…continue. I’ll yell at you when you’re done.”
Awesome.
“Well, you see, when we got there the Avengers were waiting because – apparently – me convincing Clint to wait is like a never-been-done-before rare. So then Tony offered me a job while Eye Patch Guy wanted to know how I got past the firewall and what I was looking for, and then there was Dude in the Suit 2 behind me that was going to try and put this thing on me – I asked Tony and he said it was a thing that made it to where I can’t get on any electronic devices while it’s on – but I shut that shit down real quick. So, yeah, I may have kind of gotten adopted by Tony Stark and the Avengers…surprise?”
“You are really bad at helping yourself out of sticky situations, you know that?” Isaac asks.
“No.” He sighs, dragging a hand over his face. “No, I am not.”
“Stiles, focus.”
“Right. So, after that there was…”
He tells them the whole thing. Or…almost the whole thing. He brushes over the Nogitsune with great care, because he’s one hundred percent sure his house is bugged and he doesn’t want to reveal anything – especially not the freaky powers that he hates – to people that he so does not trust. No, that’ll have to wait until later.
When he’s done, he waits in silence. He’s expecting a lecture. He doesn’t get one.
“Stiles, next time, you tell me.” His dad’s voice sounds completely wrecked. “I’ve been in the next room over all this time, son. I could have helped.”
“I’ve put you through enough, Dad. I’ve put all of you through enough with the real thing. You don’t need to suffer more just because of a few nightmares.”
“Stiles, we can help.” Lydia insists. “You’ve been there for all of us through everything, we want to be there for you.”
“It isn’t exactly like I can talk about this shit in therapy, Lyds.” He shakes his head. “They’d toss me in the loony bin and throw away the key, and I think the first time around was enough.” Everyone looks down at their hands. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t want today to be so sad and serious. We got the truth out of the way, now let’s just watch a movie and snuggle on the couch okay?”
“Yeah.” Isaac nods and Stiles can’t help but ruffle his blonde hair.
Clint and Natasha crash their movie night halfway through Mission Impossible 2. So, naturally, they all made way more spy jokes than what was even remotely acceptable.
The sadness does go away. For the first time in what feel like an eternity, they all feel like they’re home in a way that they haven’t since before the Nogitsune.
He lays practically on top of Isaac, more focused on how amazing it feels to just be around him again than watching Tom Cruise be a badass. He drifts off to sleep with the comforting scent of Isaac and Pack filling his head.