Legend

The next day when I drove into work, I have to admit that I white-knuckled it and it took conscious effort to release the steering wheel in the tower garage. But no psycho clowns leaped out at me, so I shook it off and was glad to go up to the training room. Bucky was there alone, and I updated him about McIver's call. He scowled.

"You're as safe as it's really possible to be, given that you won't stay in a secured place constantly--and I understand why you won't--but I wish the cops would get off their asses and catch this guy. And what's Wayne waiting for? I thought he was supposed to be a hot-shit detective."

"He is, but you know it's not easy to track somebody down, the Avengers haven't always been able to find their enemies quickly either," I chided gently. "They're having a meeting of the Justice League to determine what to do about the aliens. The possible alien approach. That takes priority because it's hard to coordinate that many schedules, but I'm sure he'll get back to the Joker once that's over." I was pretty sure because not only was the Joker his bete noir but Damian would be pushing him about it. Bucky just grunted and we used the time before Avengers started showing up for their training for practice.

"Sweetie, I know that you have an aversion to killing, but if it comes down to you or somebody else, I expect you to choose yourself and wrestle with your conscience later," he said at the conclusion. "You'd be safer if he was dead." I didn't have the time to reply before the elevator disgorged the first students of the day. He was right, and I know I thought that I could kill him, but down really deep I wondered if I really could. If I could live with blood on my hands.

I finished the morning with Hogun, who had a present for me today, two short, matched swords that were a hallmark of his people. They fought with both of them, one in each hand, and he offered to teach me the method. Never one to pass up an opportunity to learn, I agreed, and we carved out some time later in the week. Then I had time in the driving simulator and lunch with Aslyn. She listened to my news about the Joker and shook her head.

"Kick his ass good this time," she urged me, and I shrugged.

"I did last time, for all the good it did," I said moodily. She didn't really have a response for that, not that I expected one. I didn't have any answers either.

Tony was pissed when I told him. He expressed it differently than anybody else, though. He stuffed a cookie in his mouth and spoke around it. "It's a dick move to divert your attention just when we're getting somewhere with our research," he muttered, then swallowed. "Plan to stay here if you're at all uneasy," he directed me, sticking his hand back into the Cookie Star and feeling around. "You're out of cookies," he barked, then stomped out of the lab. Madison arrived then, accompanied by a strange boy.

"This is Lewis, one of the interns from IT," she introduced me. "He's going to fix a glitch on my computer." I didn't pay much attention as they chatted; it sounded like they were getting to know each other. Tony stomped back in with some coconut cookies from his own cookie jar, courtesy of Emma. He dropped a handful on my side of the desk and kicked back in his chair. This time we talked about the data we were generating with the algae and then he helped me set up for the evening's procedure with both the algae and bacteria.

That night when I got home, I had enough time with Damian to reassure him that everything was fine, then the Justice League went down to the bat cave to continue doing their thing. I waited for a bit to give Alfred some time to clear out so he could relax, then silently made my way to the kitchen to bake some cookies. I was using one of my grandma's recipes--sandwich cookies with jam. It was nice to do something for myself. Alfred caught me, though, when I was assembling the cookies from the first batch once they'd cooled. He offered to take over, but I refused and put the kettle on.

"I was raised to do things for myself," I said absently as I carefully spread a spoonful of jam on a bottom cookie, then placed the top one on carefully. "And that includes some things that are regarded as typically feminine, like cooking and cleaning. I feel childlike, having you do everything, especially since you're better at it than I am." I shot him a quick grin.

"I have been at it longer than you have, Miss Alex," he murmured. I poured some hot water into a tea pot, measured out the loose tea leaves, and placed the pot, a tea strainer, cup and saucer, and plate with a couple of cookies in front of him. He blinked in surprise and I went back to work.

"Whoops," I said, dashing over with a small sifter of powdered sugar to dust his cookies.

"These are delicious, Miss Alex," he said.

"Thank you. My mom's mom lives in Kent these days, but when she'd come over for a visit when I was younger, she always made these cookies; they were a special treat." We chatted about England for a bit; I'd only been once, when I was a kid, but it had made an impression on me.

As the last of the sandwich cookies were cooling, I made the chocolate crinkle dough. Cookies are easy to make, they just take time. Alfred told me where to find some baker's boxes to pack my cookies for transport, and I tried hard to make it neat and tidy, like I was demonstrating my competency. At that point, Damian appeared with coffee carafes, and Alfred sprung into action. Damian stole some cookies, complimented me, and went back downstairs with the coffee.

Alfred inquired about the quantity of cookies I was making, knowing the capacity of the Cookie Star. "I'm stress eating, I think," I said ruefully. "My waistband is getting tight. And my boss eats a lot, and my friend Aslyn knows about my stash, and we have a new lab assistant. I don't feel right about not offering some to her when we're all stuffing our faces." Alfred smiled.

"You seem very indulgent toward Mr Stark," he observed.

"I am," I said, rolling the chocolate dough first in granulated sugar, then in powdered sugar. "I feel kind of sorry for him."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, no mistake, he's brought a lot of trouble on himself, but I see something else. He's insanely smart, but his brain also works so fast that it's difficult to keep up with him. I wonder what that's like; it has to be isolating. He tries hard, but he has trouble relating to people, who look at all the things he has and thinks that material things compensate for everything. He's not going to have a flesh-and-blood heir, so he's grooming the most competent person he knows to run the business, but Peter doesn't have his flair or ability, and I think he's disappointed about that." I sighed. "Sometimes I think the best analogy for Tony is that he's running around in the dark, hitting things and wondering why it hurts. With the Avengers, it looks to me like he's paying to play. He cares so much and tries so hard to do the right thing, but he doesn't always know what that is and he can be too impulsive. And the others on that team, the senior members at least, kind of look down on him for his mistakes. Some of them have sure been been whoppers." I slide the sheet into the oven and go back to assembling the first cookies. "But at least he tried, most of them just follow along. They're happy to accept the gear, the weapons, the transport, the luxury housing, but they don't always seem to respect him, and that pisses me off, pardon my language. He's made a lot of progress as a person since I've known him, but he doesn't seem to get credit for it. I can't change how anybody else feels, but I can show my respect, and it doesn't hurt to just show a little kindness, even if it's just with cookies."

"You're very perceptive, Miss Alex," Alfred murmured, pressing the crumbs on the plate with his finger and inconspicuously licking them off. I grinned and brought over a couple more cookies. "I thought Mr Barnes got along with him well."

"He does," I said, nodding. "Uncle Bucky respects his abilities even if they're not ever going to be friends. Emma kind of normalized the bad behavior. Although they're friendly, she takes his money because she likes the freedom of research, but she doesn't always hide her contempt. I think that's wrong. If she thinks that little of him, she's got enough money to fund her own research. I think it's like biting the hand that feeds you. Tony's done some things that affected me negatively, but he's apologized for it and tried to make it better. He still backslides into bad behavior at times, but he tries more. And he's turned out to be a really good boss." I shrug.

"It is more difficult for old dogs to learn new tricks," Alfred observed. I smiled at him.

"I don't know about that, you don't seem to have trouble." We smiled at each other. He emptied the last of the tea into his cup and waved off the offer of another pot.

"I have always enjoyed tinkering and order," he said, sipping. "But I am not trying to change my basic behavior." I brought him over some of the chocolate cookies, straight from the oven. We talked a little more, I refused his offer to clean up, and he retired. I had to make two boxes of cookies, but that was ok, I was sure we'd make a dent in them the next day. I left some for the family as well, and started the dishwasher before going up to bed. I fell right to sleep and slept hard; I didn't even notice when Damian came up.

The next day, Tony was thrilled that I'd restocked the cookies, and Aslyn came up before lunch to grab some too. The Justice League took a few more days to work on their proposals, then most of them went back to whatever they did when they weren't working on League business. Superman and Wonder Woman stuck around and they met with senior members of the Avengers. I got Damian back but lost my boss for a week. I took over all the training for that time since Bucky was in on the discussions too. Lewis seemed to have taken a shine to Madison; he dropped in to flirt a little with more frequency.

I had no indication that the Joker was trying to get at me and relaxed a little although I remained vigilant. April gave way to May and J called to let me know what his travel plans would be. I wrote down the details so I could pick him up; he was taking the train. "I didn't know you had a brother," Madison said after I hung up.

"Yeah, he's in med school," I said. "He's got a couple of weeks before the summer term and is stopping here first before going to our parents. They'll come down and pick him up." I shuddered. "I hate to ride in cars with him. When we were kids he always used to get car sick on trips. He's grown out of it, but I remember." Madison laughed.

Amidst all of this, I got a reminder from the clinic that my annual exam was overdue, and I had to sandwich that in during a lunch. I told my doctor what had changed since my last exam in terms of my job and physical activity, and she asked if I had any concerns. "Yeah, I'm stress eating," I grumbled. "There's a criminal out there the police think is stalking me and it makes me nervous. I eat a lot of cookies and my waistband is tight." She had other questions about my health as she performed the exam, and checked my records as she did the data entry.

She looked at me sharply. "Your IUD has passed its expiration date. It should have been replaced a couple of months ago." Right, that would have been the time my annual had originally been scheduled. Shit. "Given that you're sexually active, that your period is a little late, and your birth control might have failed, we need to perform a pregnancy test before replacing your IUD, if that's what you want."

I barely heard her, I was freaking out. Damian and I had stopped using condoms once it had been a couple of STI tests between each of us and our last partners. I'd always used condoms religiously up to that point. I wasn't ready to be a mother, especially right now.

"Ok, it's not time to be worried yet," she said soothingly. "You're under a lot of pressure at the moment which can explain the late period and weight gain. Regardless of the test results, you'll want to cut down on the cookies. Work some fruit or veggies in there." The nurse came back in and shook her head. They'd tested my urine already and discarded it, so either I had to come back to give another sample or they could do the blood test, which would take longer. We did the blood test, and I went up to work, no longer hungry for my delayed lunch.

At home, I barely saw Damian, back late from catching up at work and having to go out on patrol. I slept uneasily and on my way out to work the next morning, confirmed with Alfred that I was picking my brother up at the train station and would bring him home after work. I was on pins and needles all day; the blood work wasn't a priority for anyone but me. Finally I left for the train station, jittery and out of sorts. I'd done training that morning in such a way that I wasn't working one on one by improvising a tournament of sorts among the students. Everybody had enjoyed it and it was good for them to be exposed to different fighting styles, but I'd refereed rather than participated and I missed the workout. A lot.

The time for J's arrival came and went and my mood blackened. I called his cell phone to find out where he was, but he didn't pick up. Ten minutes later, there was an announcement over the station's intercom that there was trouble on the line and the train had been delayed. I sighed and settled back into the chair. I started to worry about the effect of my mutations on any fetus I might carry. To the best of my knowledge, that impact had never been evaluated. I both wanted a cookie and to throw up, but settled for a quick email to my doctor, asking about that. Enhanced muscle was less flexible than normal muscle, I'd been told when the mutation was diagnosed, and it had proven to be so over the years; I'd had to work very hard to retain my flexibility but it had still decreased a little from my dancing days. And the uterus is mostly composed of smooth muscle. I recollected that I hadn't been out to Arkham yet to see if Harley would talk to me, and sent myself a reminder to carve out some time. Once Tony's meetings were over, it would be easier to carve out the time. Almost twenty minutes after the announcement, the train pulled in and I stood up, eager to collect my brother.

The train emptied out but no J. I called his phone again. No answer. Pissed, I stomped over to the ticket counter, reined in my temper, and politely asked for information. Which they couldn't provide, unfortunately. Passenger manifests were not public access.

I thanked the agent and turned away, not sure what to do. I called J again and this time told the little putz that he had some explaining to do. I didn't know what else I could do after sweeping the terminal again. Still no J. I sighed and headed for the doors. I was about ten feet away when my phone rang. I glanced down. It was my doctor. Just before I accepted the call, an arm circled my waist. "Hello, pretty," a familiar voice said in my ear.