Legend

A few nights later, we had another fundraiser to go to, for which I got to wear one of my new dresses, a fantastic sangria Monique Lhuillier, and my pearls. Damian surprised me with new earrings, small pearls on sprays of white gold and tiny diamonds. There was also a ring, an enormous silky pale blue star sapphire surrounded by little diamonds. I gave him a look as he was sliding the ring onto my right ring finger. It fit perfectly. He was unrepentant. "You need jewelry at these things," he said. "And I like giving you pretty things." He kissed my shoulder, then put a finger across my lips carefully. "Nope. It's part of the world you're getting into with me, and I'm going to make sure that you appropriately outfitted. Most of the people at these things are nice, but it only takes one rude person to ruin your fun. Plus it's fun to watch other people look at you, how beautiful you are, and know that you've chosen me." He handed me my clutch. "Ready?"

I gave up the fight and took his arm. "It's not that I don't love the pretty things, but they're so expensive," I explained. He just shrugged, unmoved. "You always look so handsome, but especially in a tuxedo," I said. He preened a bit and I smiled, placing my hand on his chest briefly. At the party, he made several introductions, then we were separated. Some of the women oohed over my jewelry and dress, and several men asked me to dance. The skirt of my dress was beautiful but not really conducive to dancing, unfortunately. I was talking to a group of older people who were fascinated to hear that I worked with Tony in new energy when Tony himself showed up. I listened with some amusement as he charmed the cynics in the group and departed with them to talk about business. I turned, intending to seek out more canapes, and came face to face with Selena Kyle. She was wearing a black column dress, very chic, with a diamond and moonstone necklace that was spectacular. She kissed my cheek and lightly drew her finger over my pearls. I gave her a look, and she laughed.

"I'm mostly retired, darling, and Bruce would have my head if I liberated them. The boy does have a good eye for quality, though. I taught him some things." My eyebrows rose. One thing that you must always say about Selena was that she was impeccably stylish and wore only the best. And of course, Damian is a quick study.

"Your necklace is gorgeous," I complimented her, and she nodded.

"Bruce gave it to me," she said. "It was to keep me from paying your auntie's old business a visit one night." She smiled. "Not that I didn't drop by periodically. She used to make me little pretties as a bribe so that I wouldn't help myself to her other sparkly things." I laughed. It seemed like a very Emma thing to do.

Damian stepped up to my side, kissed my temple in greeting, then smiled at Selena. They talked for a moment, then her usual teasing demeanor slid away. "I wanted to tell you that I had to have Qitta put to sleep," she told him compassionately, and his face went blank. He nodded brusquely as his eyes developed a sheen. "She had cancer," she told me, and I looked puzzled.

"Damian was always bringing home stray cats," Bruce said, appearing by Selena's side. "We rehomed most of them with Selena."

"She was eighteen or so," Selena said a little anxiously. "She had a good life." I laced my fingers with Damian's and patted his hand.

He managed a cursory smile. "I know she did," he told her. "She was one of my favorites."

"They were all your favorites," his dad sighed. "But it was unfair to ask Alfred to take care of all of them."

"How many did you bring home?" I asked.

"Eleven," he said promptly.

"He brought a cow home once," his father said, still a little pained by the memory, apparently. "Turned him into a vegetarian."

"What did you do with it?" I asked, fascinated.

"Kept it," he said. "She ended up on the dairy farm, content to the last."

"I've seen you eat meat, though," I said to Damian, puzzled. He nodded.

"I relapsed some," he said. "But I do try to limit myself."

"What changed your mind?"

"Bacon," he sighed. "It's my gateway drug." I laughed. "It was still unfair to limit me to one cat and one dog. And the cow," he said to his dad

"I can't believe we're still having this conversation after all these years, son," Bruce said, slightly cross. "If you want to move back home, then you can have all the pets you want, as long as you clean up after them," Bruce said craftily, and Damian and I laughed.

"As a bribe, that's not half bad," he told his dad. "Remember that it was your idea," he said, and his laugh was loud enough that people nearby turned to see what was so amusing. Bruce started to look faintly worried, and Selena drew him away before he could make any more promises he might not like to remember.

"What did you name your pets?" I asked Damian as we started to make our way to the door.

"The cat was black and white, so I named him Alfred." I looked at him funny. "What? Alfred gave him to me. It was a compliment. The dog was half German Shepard, half Great Dane, looked mostly Great Dane, his name was Titus. Then there was Bat-cow."

"No," I chortled. He grinned.

"Yes. She had a marking like a bat across her forehead, and a star brand on her flank. I rescued her from a slaughterhouse, and good thing, too. She'd been weaponized, had a mind-controlling radiation. That's why she didn't live as long as a regular cow." He paused as we went through to the street to wait for the valet. "Do you like cats? Or dogs?"

"Both," I said. "But let's not go nuts here. Remember, the condition was that you clean up after them, and cats really should be indoor pets, especially with so many predators in the country, so that means litterboxes. One per cat, plus one extra is what the vet told us when we had cats at home."

"Hmm." He held the car door for me then sauntered over to the other side.

The next day we hit a wall at work and after deducing that we couldn't break through immediately, Tony told me to take the afternoon off and we'd tackle it again the next day.

So I went shopping. Then I lurked at Wayne Enterprises until Damian came out with his father, sauntering over for a kiss. "Hi, Sweet Pea," Damian said, happy to provide the kiss. "Did I forget that we had a thing or something?"

"Nope," I said. "I've been shopping."

"What did you get?" Bruce asked. I waved my hand at the curb like a game show hostess to the gleaming Caldera Red F-Type Jaguar roadster.

"Wow," Bruce said.

"Fuck," Damian said, then flushed a little at the look his dad gave him. I grinned. They beelined over for a look.

"I like a stick shift," I said, and they both agreed. The fit was a little too tight for Bruce, who looked disappointed, and Damian just fit. There wasn't a lot of room to move the seats at all, the cost of a roadster. A victory for the short.

"I'd offer to take it to Alfred to get it set up to access the .... restricted areas of the property," Bruce said, struggling to extricate himself. "But I might be stuck. And you should definitely have that access." I leaned in from the passenger side and put the top down, which gave him a little more room to maneuver.

"It's a good idea, though," Damian said immediately. "We can go out tonight, drop it off, if you don't mind," he said to me.

"The temptation is there to drive it everywhere," I acknowledged, "but that would be fine. Thank you."

Bruce patted my shoulder. "Of course."

"We can come pick you up in the FossilMobile tomorrow night," Damian said, referring to the Rolls, "And we can come back to the city after we pick up the car. I bet Alfred will have dinner for us too."

Bruce looked a little disgruntled at his son's characterization of the Rolls, but we agreed it was a good plan, and I followed the Rolls and Damian's BMW to the estate. Alfred came out when we pulled up to the porch, and his attention was immediately arrested by the Jag.

"Miss Alex," he greeted me. "So lovely to see you, and in such a nice vehicle. A triumph of British coachmaking." I didn't want to smack his national pride by noting that an Indian company, Tata, had bought Jaguar from Ford. We talked about horsepower and torque (he was impressed with the 340 ft/lbs of torque, quite decent) and the engine (I sent mental thanks to the saleswoman who had told me all these things), and nodded regally when Bruce said he wanted it outfitted so I could get to the back entrance of the Bat cave as well as through the public main gate without having to call up to the house. "It will be no trouble," he assured me. "My pleasure, in fact, to work on such a fine automobile, Miss Alex. Would you and Master Damian like to stay for dinner?"

We stayed for dinner, then Damian drove us back home. "Maybe it's time for an upgrade," he mused. "I've had this car for over a decade now."

"Alfred keeps it beautifully, though," I said, baiting him a little. He chortled.

"Why'd you go with Jaguar?" he asked.

"When I was a kid, I loved the cars with the sleek hood ornaments. Unfortunately they don't have hood ornaments anymore, but I still like the cars. And it's a roadster!"

"What's the big deal about that?"

"Nancy Drew always drove roadsters, and I thought that was the coolest thing ever. I'm not Nancy Drew, girl detective, but at least I can afford the roadster on my new salary."

He laughed, then squeezed my hand. "I'd have gotten it for you, but I understand why you'd want to buy it yourself."

The next day I had a hard time focusing on my work, I was so eager to pick up my new car. And I needed to keep my mind on work; Bucky was having me start training new Avengers Eli Bradley (Patriot) and Tommy Shepard (Speed). Additionally, to my surprise, Thor's BFF Hogun had requested training, and I agreed as a favor to Thor. It helped that he wasn't an Asgardian but from Vanaheim, wherever that was.

After that, Tony and I still didn't break through our problem, but we tried a couple of new things, which at least allowed us to do something rather than sit around and be cranky at our lack of insight. I was relieved when it was time to leave. Damian and Bruce were waiting for me and we drove out to the house. Alfred had dinner for us, delicious salmon with roasted potatoes and vegetables, after which Bruce had some business to attend to and Alfred insisted on bringing the car around. Because somehow I'd never gotten a full tour of the mansion, Damian decided that now was as good a time as any. The ground floor had most of the interesting rooms as there was the library, a couple of parlors, and a music room on this floor. There were suites on the second and third floors, with half of the third floor turned into a glassed-in conservatory. Bruce's mother had overseen this change; half the attic had been ripped out to accommodate the new construction and the floor heavily reinforced. There was also a turret that ran down one corner at the back of the house, which I'd somehow missed. It was Gothic in character, with tracery over the window panes, some of which were colored glass in a diamond pattern, and vaulted ribbing that spread out across the ceilings. The highest room in the turret was set with window seats and had the best view of the forest behind the house, but the two below that were empty.

"That's unfortunate," I said as we took the back stairs down. "If you should be blessed with a turret, you should use it." Dick came in with Alfred as we walked down the hall.

"Hey, Damian. Nice car, Alex," he said.

"I was just showing her around the heap," Damian told Dick, and Alfred managed to suppress an eye roll, settling for a more rigid posture instead.

"Has Bruce convinced you to move back?" Dick asked his brother.

"Not yet," Damian said.

"It's a near thing," I added. "He said Damian could have all the pets he can clean up after if he does." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Alfred's look of alarm. Dick guffawed.

"Clever to add that condition," he said, wiping his eyes. "Otherwise you'd be running a shelter, Alfred."

"It would be nice to have a dog or cat again," he allowed, and Damian smirked.

"Alex, you're an engineer. Maybe you could give some thought to the creation of an easy-clean litter box system," Damian said, stroking my hair away from my face.

"Dude, she's got better things to do," Dick said. "And so do we tonight. We've gotta hit the streets in search of information. Sorry, Alex."

I smiled. "Well, this way I'll be able to drive home guilt free. I was planning on letting Damian take it for a spin." Damian looked calculating, and his brother dragged him down to the bat cave after a hasty kiss goodbye. Alfred took me out and showed me where he'd hidden the electronic key to the backdoor entrance to the bat cave--all you had to do was press the Jaguar emblem on the steering wheel three times to engage it, which was much easier than having to fumble around for a hidden button in the console.

"That's so ingenious, Alfred," I said sincerely, and he looked pleased. He said that he'd also installed a remote for the main gate that would engage without any work on my part when I drove up, and also handed me a key to the house in case I came by when nobody was here. I was touched and gave him a hug before he held the car door for me.

"I appreciate your attempts to rein in Master Damian," he said. "Otherwise we'll be living eventually in a menagerie. I enjoy pets as much as the next person, but..."

"Nobody wants to live with a hoarder," I said, nodding, and he smiled. I thanked him again for the delicious dinner and the superior work on my car.

"It was my pleasure, Miss Alex. Drive safely." He closed the door and retreated a bit; I drove off slowly to avoid spraying him with any pebbles or twigs that might be on the driveway, waiting until I was on the road before opening up.

I came home with a speeding ticket, but it was so worth it.

I woke up around three am when Damian started stuffing clothing from the bureau into garbage bags. I clicked on the light and looked at him. "What's going on, honey?" I asked. He was still in his Robin costume.

"We're moving back to the manor. Immediately."

"What? What's going on?"

"The Joker broke out of Arkham a few hours ago."

On the night stand, my phone rattled as it vibrated with an incoming call.