REALITY
Tony looked around in distaste.
Turned out, Svartalfhiem was kind of ugly. Not really because there was a lot of ugly stuff to see, but more because of the lack of stuff.
As far as he could see there was only dirt, a slim smattering of dead trees, and a few randomly stacked rock formations framed by a gray, sunless sky.
Turning his gaze back around, he couldn’t help the shudder that ran through him at the sight of the dark entrance of the cave, wide open and pitch black and practically screaming do not come in here .
“Perhaps you should wait out here, my love,” Loki murmured, resting a hand against the small of his back, concern shining brightly in his eyes.
Tony thought about it for a moment, really truly thought , eyeing the cave warily even as he leaned into the warmth of Loki’s hand against his back.
Okay, so it was a cave. Anyone who even kind of knew him knew about his issue with caves. They were damp, dark, cold and oh yeah , he was kidnapped and tortured in one for three very long months. On his bad days, those memories could still drive him into a panic at the very least, and render him completely unaware and incoherent at the worst. On his good ones, he didn’t even think about it anymore and only occasionally felt a vague sense of discomfort because of the weight of the reactor that used to reside in his chest.
So no, they weren’t his favorite place to be.
But in the end, the fear of letting Loki go in there alone far outweighed the fear of the cave itself, and he found himself shaking his head before he’d even fully comprehended that.
“No. We go in together or we don’t go in at all,” Tony said resolutely.
Loki watched him for a moment, eyes narrowed and intense, searching his face. He seemed to be having some sort of internal debate- and if Loki tried to leave him out here alone, Tony would withhold blowjobs for a year - before nodding to himself and saying tersely,
“Very well. Should you change your mind, you must tell me before we enter. My magic will not allow me to teleport you out once we are inside.”
And that was just all well and dandy, but Tony had no intentions of changing his mind.
However, he couldn’t help but find his curiosity piqued at the new knowledge.
“Not that I plan on leaving you in there alone, but why won’t it?” He asked.
“The cave will neutralize it. As soon as we step past the threshold, it will bind my magic within me so I cannot use it.”
Tony hummed and nodded in understanding before another thought occurred to him.
“So...how, exactly, will we get it? I don’t imagine we can just waltz inside and take it.”
“I am...unaware of the specifications of this journey. Only two others have attempted this journey. Only one returned, severely lacking in sanity and coherency.”
Tony felt the beginnings of dread curl unpleasantly in his stomach, thoughts racing faster than he could sort them out, a cold sweat breaking out on his palms.
“Well that sounds...unpleasant,” he offered weakly.
“Oh, I have no doubt it will be,” Loki nodded grimly. “But...if we stand any chance against Thanos, this is the only choice we have.”
Tony nodded and then took a deep breath, steeling himself before he waltzed forward with a bravado he didn’t feel, stopping at the mouth of the cave before looking over his shoulder at Loki, who stood frozen a few paces behind him in surprise.
“Well then,” Tony grinned broadly. “What are we waiting for?”
And then he stepped inside.
Some irrational part of him expected something terrible to happen- maybe his feet would find nothing but air and he would fall for an eternity; maybe some huge monster with a thousand teeth would pop out and try to eat him; maybe he would just spontaneously explode and that would be the end of it.
But, none of that happened.
No, he just found himself...standing in the dark cavern, feet on solid ground and eyes struggling to adjust.
He turned back around, waiting, eyes settling on Loki, who hesitated for a brief moment before stepping inside with him.
A faint red shimmer washed over him, and Loki looked distinctly uncomfortable, going stiff and tense, before it faded into nothingness, leaving them alone in the dark once more.
Tony felt unease shiver down his spine as Loki stared down at his hand like he expected something to happen, before the god said tensely,
“My magic has been bound.”
And they’d both been expecting it, they had, but that didn’t make the knowledge any easier to cope with. Now, they were completely unarmed in a dark, possibly magical cave.
Tony nodded to himself, pulled in a deep breath and reached backwards, knowing Loki’s hand would find his, and didn’t move forward again until his boyfriends fingers were twined firmly with his own, locking them together.
Staring into the darkness, only vaguely able to make out the shadowy blobs that made out the walls of the cave, he took one step forward, and then another and another until they were both moving steadily forward.
They didn’t speak, neither of them daring to break the heavy silence that had fallen around them; all there was for them to do was keep walking, and even that started to get difficult after a time, weariness starting to set in and quickly morphing into exhaustion the longer they walked.
What felt like days but could have only been a couple of hours later, Tony caught sight of a dimly lit door as they rounded a bend in the path.
Something like deja vu niggled at the back of his mind but he ignored it, letting his fingers slip from Loki’s as he rushed forward, fingers scrabbling at the metal handle to get it open; in his urgency, he didn’t even think to peer through the small rectangular slat in the door, too anxious to get in.
What he saw froze him in his tracks, fear like ice water and electricity shooting down his spine.
To the right was a flimsy cot with a small fire pit in front of it; directly in front of him was a multitude of metal tables and to the left, a large bucket of murky water.
Breath beginning to wheeze in his suddenly tight chest, he slowly made his way towards the table directly in front of him, steps slow and shuffling, completely empty except for a crudely made metal face mask; one he recognized all too well, one he remembered pounding into shape with a hammer and cooling in water, one he remembered dropping down in front of a thin doctor who eyed him with hope and pride.
With shaking hands, he reached out towards the face plate.
His trembling fingers had barely brushed the metal before he was assaulted with the sounds of screaming and gunfire, flames and burning coals and car batteries and missiles flashing violently across his vision and he couldn’t help but let out a startled yelp and scramble backwards so fast he fell ass first into the dirt, his heart pounding so hard in his chest he felt dizzy with it.
“Loki,” he gasped out, still crawling backwards, eyes squeezed shut against the dizzying array of images still plaguing him, the sounds still grating violently in his ears and leaving him so panicked, he could hardly draw a breath in past the vice of fear clenched around his chest. “Loki, Loki, plea-”
He was cut off as he fell backwards, the ground beneath him vanishing, and he wasn’t even aware what he had fallen into until the icy water was closing above his head, his breath trapped in his lungs as the water pressed oppressively against his chest.
He tried to claw his way upwards, to get up, to get out , but no matter how hard he swam, he couldn’t find the top.
Distantly, he could hear voices screaming at him in a language he didn’t understand but he knew them, he knew that language, those voices, and his vision was graying out, diming, his heart still pounding painfully, rapidly, but he couldn’t breathe and everything hurt, muscles spasming with phantom electricity and oh god, he can’t breathe , please, someone, please …
And just as suddenly as it was there, the water is gone but he still can’t fucking breathe.
His eyes flew open (when did he close them?) and there’s...nothing. He’s surrounded by absolute blackness , and the voices are gone, and the water is gone, and it’s so oppressively silent that he can’t even hear the blood rushing in his ears despite still feeling his heart pound in his chest.
He’s floating, he’s floating and there’s nothing, just darkness and pressure and silence and he thinks maybe he’s been here for days, months, years, decades, and just as he thinks he’s fading, that's it, he's dying , he’ll be safe and gone, he’s spat out onto solid ground.
He doesn’t even realize he’s not breathing until he’s heaving instead, folded onto his hands and knees on the hard rock of the cave, sobbing in between painful heaves.
The contents of his stomach are expelled onto the ground and he’s only saved from collapsing into the puddle of sick by clammy, shaking hands grasping at his shoulders and pulling him backwards against a familiar, trembling body.
His fingers curl in Loki’s shirt, refusing to let go, and he cries and cries until he’s too exhausted to cry anymore, to do anything but lie listlessly in Loki’s arms.
Loki sits with him, saying nothing until Tony has calmed and when he does speak, his voice is rough and raw sounding.
“Anthony,” he murmurs and Tony looks up at him with dry, swollen eyes, too numb to feel much of anything at all. “Anthony, Look.”
Distantly, he takes in Loki’s haggard, disheveled appearance, his red rimmed eyes, the sweat tracking clean trails through the dirt on his face, and wonders absently how he looks. It can’t be much better.
Slowly, Tony’s eyes travel from Loki’s face to his shoulder, following the line of his outstretched arm and finally lowering further to settle on his hand.
Nestled in the palm of Loki’s hand, trapped within a small glass container, rests a softly glowing red gem.