Chapter 1
Lisa will not know this for a very long time, but she exists because of young love, young lust, and a broken condom.
“What are we going to do?” Maria cried on Frank’s shoulder.
Frank hasn’t had a real family in a long time, his old man died last winter after finally drinking himself to death and his mom’s been gone since he was ten.
God help him, Frank loves Maria and the little life inside of her even if it scares the shit out of him. So, he does the only thing he knows to do.
“Marry me.” He whispers into her hair. She stiffens.
He can tell she’s ashamed it’s happening this way, but she still whispers, “Yes.”
“It’s not just because of the, uh-”
“The baby, Frank?” She almost sounds amused underneath all the fear.
“Yes, the baby.” He takes a deep breath. “I never really thought of having kids, but if they had to be with anyone, I would want them with you.”
It’s a messy confession of his affection and really not all he wants to say, but Frank is the product of a Vietnam vet. Needless to say, he’s not good talking about his feelings.
“Please,” He whispers, afraid to say it too loud. “marry me.”
His words hang in the air, Frank feels like time stops just for those few moments.
“Okay,” Maria says. “Okay.”
Maybe it’s not the joyful confirmation that Frank wanted to hear, but it’s enough.
Under the circumstances, it’s more than enough.
Frank sells the guitar his father left him when he died.
He feels like he should cry, but some things can’t be helped. There’s not enough room in the shitty apartment he has for the instrument and a family. He hasn’t even touched the thing since his old man died.
Still, he remembers the feeling of watching his old man play it. He remembers a soft smile and a lightness Frank only saw when Dad looked at Mom.
His Dad was a music teacher before the war, he remembers suddenly.
It’s stupid, but he feels like he’s lost his dad for the third time when he watches someone haul it away.
Maria marries him in a small church ceremony a month after he proposed.
She’s wearing her mother’s dress, so beautiful he can’t breathe when he sees her. He ignores her stone-faced father and her mother’s sad eyes. He knows they think he’s ruined her life, that he’s doomed her to poverty and struggle, but Frank is going to do whatever it takes to take care of her.
It’s a catholic ceremony and it makes him think of his mother.
She was a gentle soul, his mother. He used to help her in the garden, pulling weeds and stones.
“Sometimes things just need a gentle touch.” She used to tell him with a smile.
As he takes Maria’s hand, he can’t help but think his mom would like her.
From day one, they work until their fingers bleed.
Frank works for a crew in construction, gets two hours of sleep, and then goes to work a night shift at the docks.
Maria works in an office during the morning, then works a shift at a 24-hour diner.
They are fucking exhausted after three months, but at least rent is paid and there’s food in the fridge.
Frank’s shift ends early one night, and he heads home so early in the morning there’s no sunlight yet. He’s looking forward to an extra hour of sleep and to be able to wish Maria a good morning before she leaves for work.
He enters their apartment and makes his way to the bedroom door when he stills.
Maria is crying.
He quickly enters the room.
“What’s wrong?” He asks, anxious. “Is it the baby?”
Maria is halfway dressed, just sitting on the bed.
“The baby’s okay.” She sobs out.
He approaches her slowly and kneels in front of her. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m just so tired.” She cries. “I’m just so fucking tired.”
Frank has a fucking revelation.
He sees, like a veil has been lifted, the circles under Maria’s eyes. He sees the paleness of her skin and the way she looks like she will shatter at any minute.
He did this to her.
“I’m gonna fix this, okay?” He manages to breathe out. “You lie back down, I’m going to call your jobs.”
“But what about-” she protests.
“Don’t worry about the bills, I’ll take care of it.” He interrupts her.
Frank comes back and lies down beside her. She rolls over and tucks herself under his chin.
“It’s gonna be okay, Sweetheart.” He kisses her forehead.
That evening Frank goes to the nearest recruitment station and joins the Marines.
He feels something like fate settling on his shoulders.
Maria cries when he tells her.
“It’s alright, Sweetheart.” He soothes her. “Everything’s gonna be fine.”
He goes to basic for twelve weeks of Hell.
He powers through with phone calls and pictures of ultrasounds.
“Look at my baby girl!” He calls to the boys around him. They all clap him on the back with cheers and bright smiles on their faces.
Frank will think back on that moment years later and ache at how young they were.
Too young for what was coming.
They have a ten-day leave before he’s supposed to report SOI.
Maria lies in his arms resting peacefully. She’s due any second and the thought makes it hard for Frank to sleep.
“What’s got you thinking so hard over there, Soldier Boy.” He startles, he hadn’t noticed her waking up.
“I’ve got a lot on my mind.” He admits. “Worried.”
“About being a dad?” She questions, a knowing look in her eyes.
“Yeah.” He responds, his brow furrows. “What if I drop her?”
The question is a very serious one and he doesn’t appreciate the laughter that escapes from her mouth.
“You’re gonna be just fine, Frank.” She smiles up at him. “I promise.”
All of a sudden, a feeling of wetness spreads throughout their sheets.
“Did you just-” His eyes widen.
“Yep.” Her eyes meet his.
He scrambles out of bed and rushes for the duffle bag kept by the door. He rushes to find his car keys and wallet.
“Frank,” Maria calls for him.
“Where did I put those damn things?” He mumbles.
“Frank.” She tries again.
“Wallet, wallet, wallet.” He opens a drawer. “Ah-ha!”
“Frank!” She shouts.
He stumbles to a stop.
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” She raises an eyebrow.
He looks at her like she just spoke in tongues.
“Pants, Frank.” She sighs with a smile. “You need pants.”
He looks down and sees he’s still in his boxer shorts. “Probably a good idea.”
13 hours later, Lisa Barbara Castle is born at 8 lbs. and 11 oz.
She’s the most beautiful thing Frank has ever seen.
It’s March 10th, 2001 and a beautiful spring day.
Four months after Frank leaves Infantry school, Maria turns on her tv.
“What?” She gasps.
She looks out the window.
She is nowhere near the tower, but she can see the smoke.
She watches as one of them crumbles down on the tv screen and she clutches Lisa to her chest. Lisa starts to cry as Maria does her best to soothe her.
Her phone rings.
“We’re fine Frank, I promise.” A tear rolls down her cheek.
“All of those people.” She whispers. “What’s gonna happen?”
It is Tuesday, September 11, 2001.
Frank is shipped out to war not too long after.
The first time Frank kills a man is…it isn’t easy, but it’s acceptable.
There’s a need for violence that’s been living in his veins for as long as he can remember, he thrives in war.
Every man in his platoon knows that if Frank Castle is watching your back, then you’ll live to see another day.
A few paychecks are enough to move the Castle’s from a shitty apartment to a modest-sized house. It’s the kinda house that Maria grew up in, the kinda house she’s always wanted for her kids.
“Look around, Baby Girl,” She smiles brightly at Lisa. “We’re home.”
Moving is a little complicated at first, but a phone call and a promise of pizza and beer brings a few of her cousins and their friends over to move in the new furniture.
When the day ends there are still boxes everywhere, but it’s stuff Maria can unpack on her own.
She puts Lisa asleep in her new nursery, an actual nursery, and goes to sleep in a t-shirt that still smells like Frank.
Except she doesn’t sleep.
It’s been a mere year and a half since she was still sleeping alone in her own apartment, but at the moment it feels like forever.
“This is fucking ridiculous.” She mutters.
She lies still for a moment.
“I am a grown woman.”
She waits a second.
She sighs and gets out of bed. She pads down the hall and gently lifts Lisa out of her crib.
Only when Lisa is settled against her in the bed, does she manage to sleep.
The next day is Sunday and even though it’s not really convenient anymore, she gets up early enough to get to mass in the same church she’s been going to since she was a little girl.
Her mother holds Lisa during the service, eager to spend all the time she can with her first grandchild.
“Why don’t you have dinner at our house tonight?” Her father asks quietly, attempting to hide his eagerness. He, too, was under Lisa’s spell.
“I don’t know, Dad…” Maria drawls out. She can’t lie, she’s tempted.
“Come on, Kiddo. You can spend more time with the family now that you don’t have to work so much.” Her father responds.
There’s a hint of approval in his eyes now, even a hint of respect. It almost makes Maria want to lash out when she thinks of how her dad never thought she and Frank could last this long. They had fought terribly about it since she announced her pregnancy/up-coming marriage.
She takes a calming breath. “Alright, dad. I have been neglecting you and mom.”
Her father smiles bright and bumps her shoulder.
Maria smiles gently back, accepting his peace offering.
Maria writes to Frank once a week. She was tempted to do so every day, desperate to fill him in on every part of the time he was missing but reality had set in.
Instead, she keeps a constant growing stack of paper that she signs and sends off every Friday. She always includes a new picture of Lisa, knowing how hungry he was to hear about her.
She gets letters back. They’re not as frequent, understandable so, but Maria clutches to them. They’re little bits of Frank. They hold his dry humor, his commentary, and loving words she knows he’d never be able to speak aloud.
She knows she married the right man every time she reads, “Dear Sweetheart”.
Lisa looks so much like Frank it irritates her sometimes.
“It’s like I didn’t put anything at all into you.” She touches Lisa’s nose just to watch her giggle.
Her smile is a carbon copy of Frank’s, down to his dimples.
“Honestly, it’s not fair.” Her complaint comes out more like a coo.
Damn that man and his adorable kids.
Frank finishes his tour and comes back to a toddler.
Lisa cries when he first holds her again and it breaks his heart.
“Don’t cry, Baby Girl, it’s just Daddy.” He tells her gently.
She stops crying and peers into his face.
She smiles widely at him and gives a little laugh.
It’s beautiful.
He doesn’t even know he’s crying himself until a drop hits Lisa’s forehead.
Maria tucks herself under his arms and for a moment Frank Castle feels at peace.
Lisa takes her first steps toward him.
A wise man might call that a prophecy.