Chapter 2
Tony almost chokes on his own heartbreak. Sigrid notices the change in Tony and fear strikes her little heart.
"Daddy, I'm sorry!" Sigrid suddenly cries. "I won't talk about it again! Just don't go away!"
"Sig, it's okay." Tony chokes. "You didn't do anything wrong."
"But, Daddy. You changed when I mentioned his name. I saw it and I felt it."
"Magni is a very hard topic for Mom and Dad."
"Why?"
Tony doesn't say anything for a while. Sigrid's mood doesn't get better. She watches Tony. Waits for him to say something. He reassured her but the fear in her heart doesn't disappear.
Finally, Tony takes a deep breath.
"Magni is your little brother." Tony says.
"No, my little brother is Magnus. Not Magni." Sigrid was confused.
"Magni is the little brother before Magnus."
"I don't get it, Daddy. Where is he?"
Tony stops for a moment before he continues.
"You see, Mom was pregnant one time before Magnus." Tony explained. "But Mom's body...let's say got sick."
"Miscarriage." Sigrid said.
"Hmm?"
"It's called a miscarriage."
"How do you know what that is?"
"Jane told me once. She was sad because while she was sick, she had to say bye bye to her baby. She said it was called..."
"Abortion."
"Yep. She said she had to and sometimes, people don't get to make that choice."
"Yeah. Mom didn't get to make that choice. Sometimes it just happens. Mom's body wasn't sick. It was just luck wasn't on our side."
Sigrid doesn't say anything for a while. She's only three years old and Tony was having a conversation that he didn't want but hoped she would have been much older when this conversation appeared. But like he has known his whole life, you don't get what you want sometimes.
"That's why Magni is sad when I see him." Sigrid breathes. "He's lonely and scared and little. He doesn't have you and Mama to make him happy and safe like me and Mag. He has never even seen your faces or heard your voices."
"You two don't even really have that." Tony said without thinking.
Tony is shocked at his own words. But Sigrid just has that same gentle look that Loki gives him. The look that makes him feel...peaceful. Even after everything that happened, Loki still gave Tony that look. It's the only reason he hasn't relapsed. He loves Loki and their children. Even if he's already screwed up.
"You're a good daddy." Sigrid holds Tony's hand. "Aunt Jane used to tell me it's okay to not be okay. Sometimes it's really bad but it's still okay. She used to say the only time it wasn't okay is when you don't do anything about it. That's why Uncle Thor was mad for a while. But he's happy you and Mama are getting better."
"You're too smart, Sig." Tony smiled.
"Mag and I have Mama and Uncle Thor and the Avengers but Daddy, Mag needs you now. Can you please come home? We miss you."
Tony picks Sigrid up and hugs her tight. That's his little girl.
"I want to but first, I need to say sorry." Tony explained.
"Okay, daddy." Sigrid hugged him back just as tight.