It was a rumble of thunder storming the night... Inside Culver City was a Sony Pictures building riddled with bodies all over the floor... Maybe the ceiling... Whatever the attacker wanted to do as gunfire was heard inside of an office. And then a man's waist was cut in half, causing him to go falling down the floor with blood dripping all over.
Then as we peer inside, we see it is none other than Deadpool attacking the entire building as he cut an armed guard's head off, kicking it onto the table right in front of CEO Tony Vinciquerra.
"Tony! Deadpool quipped, walking over to the man. "What... The..." He then grabbed a knife and stabbed it onto the table, right in front of the CEO while staring at him hard. "FUCK?"
Tony raised his hands up. "Please! Take whatever you want! Take my phone for christ's sakes!"
"I don't give a fuck about your damn money!" He shouted, throwing Vinciquerra's wallet away. "I only give a fuck about how it's been one month since Spider-Man was out of the MCU, and you still didn't bring him back!"
"Wha..." Tony stuttered his words. "But the door is closed!"
"Then reopen the damn door! Nobody gives a fuck about your shitty, fuck turd Spidey movies anyway!"
"But, I'd have to have a board meeting and everything!"
"Oh, you mean the same ones that I had to cut their arms off with a chainsaw five weeks ago? Yeah, good luck with that."
"But-!"
"BUT NOTHING, YOU LITTLE BITCH!" Deadpool grabbed Vinciquerra by the collar, holding a gun on him. "One month and my boi's still not home yet! One motherfucking month, and instead, you dicks like to show off plans for a Princess Bride reboot! Worst idea ever, by the way, the fuck's the matter with you people?"
"But people love the Princess Bride!"
"The ORIGINAL! Not your twisted, franchise destroying bullshit!"
"But-!"
"But nothing!" Deadpool shoved the CEO onto the table, pointing his sword onto the man. "I gave you plenty of chances to make a deal with Disney! Plenty of chances! And you keep on fucking it all up!" He then turns to you, the Reader. "So it may just seem like I'll have to fictionally torture another rich Sony executive to bring Spider-Man back to the MCU! I mean, some of you are probably wondering, "Why are you attacking Sony? Disney's part of the problem!" And yeah, they normally are the cause of the problem, but uh... Disney's actually been behaving a lot lately. Haven't you guys noticed?"
"Who the fuck are you talking to?!" Tony asked.
"Oh, the audiences of Fanfiction, ArchiveofourOwn, anyone who'd bother to read this crap. Anyhow, since they like to play Princess Bride for the moment, I am going to oblige and start playing their game! And boy, they're gonna fucking hate this shit, so leave a Review/Comment down to let the author know your thoughts about this lovely, peaceful chat!"
"For fuck's sakes! Didn't you hear, Wilson?! Apple is wanting to acquire Sony Pictures for some time now, and-!"
"My name is Inigo Montoya." He said, quoting the movie while pointing his sword at Vinciquerra.
"What?!"
"You killed my father..." He got closer to Tony, creeping him out. "Prepare to die."
"Okay, Wade!" He chuckled, raising his hands. "Okay, I get it now! Joke's over, put the sword down-AHH!"
He barely avoided getting cut open like sausage as Deadpool flung his blade over to the CEO, running over to the other side of the room as Deadpool continued the quotes.
"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
"For god's sakes, enough of this!" He reasoned, only to get stabbed lightly on the shoulder. "AHH"
"My name is Inigo Montoya!" He kicked Vinciquerra onto the floor, leaning closer to the CEO. "You killed my father!"
"Oh god, please! Don't do this, pleaHHHHHH!"
Deadpool cut Vinciquerra's face each inch at a time while reciting the last quote. "Prepare... To... DIE!"