Failure was a concept he was well acquainted with. It followed him, haunted him his whole life. It was the way he was kicked out of school in the third grade for fighting, even though it hadn’t even been his fault to begin with. It was the way he jumped from job to job when he should have been in high school, never finding one that stuck and having to rely on Bucky and his family to stay alive during the depression. It was the way he was rejected time after time from enlisting simply because of who he was. It was the way he had to change, just to be accepted by the population. It was the way he lost Bucky, and then Peggy. The way he almost lost New York, and then he did lose the new life he created for himself. It was the way he lost Bucky again. And then Pietro, and Peggy again. It was the way he lost half of his family to protect the one who protected him so long ago. It was the way they lost Stark during the second invasion of New York.
It was the way the world lost everything with a snap because he hadn’t been able to stop Thanos.
“It’s not your fault,” Bucky would say. “None of it’s your fault.” And for a moment, Steve would believe him. It was unreasonable to put all of the blame onto himself, but then he’d remember the legacy he created. Captain America was not a failure. For seventy years he was an American hero, a legend talked about in history class. And then he was a modern hero, an Avenger of the world. They saved New York, they saved Sokovia, but they couldn’t save the world.
Failure.
Steve wondered if Tony was still out there somewhere. It had been two weeks since the snap, two weeks since Tony’s disappearance into space. They were holding out a miracle. Pepper always reminded them that Tony was full of surprises but every night Nat was having to lead her back inside when the temperature dropped and she couldn’t sit outside staring at the sky any longer.
“He’s out there,” she said to Steve one night. Natasha wasn’t there, she had left earlier in the day to look for any more allies who might have survived the snap, leaving Steve to be the one to corral her back inside. “I’d know if he was gone.” Her eyes were red and puffy from crying. Steve knew even she was starting to question whether or not Tony was still alive. He went face to face with Thanos and he didn’t come back. That didn’t have to mean anything negative, but Thanos also had the time stone Tony had been protecting. Even if he survived that, would he have survived the snap?
“I know,” Steve said to her. Steve had a feeling, just like Pepper, that Tony wasn’t gone. He was resourceful and if anyone was going to survive a one-on-one encounter with Thanos, it was Tony Stark.
That night, long after the world around them had gone to bed, Steve sat outside staring up at the sky. There were millions of planets, any one of them could be housing Tony. Rocket said that without the proper equipment they would never find him. Thor tried. Every day he searched a different planet for their missing friend and every day he came back defeated.
“It will take years to find the right planet.” Thor landed next to Steve outside of the compound. He followed Steve’s gaze up to the sky. “I fear we won’t be finding Stark anytime soon.”
“Is there still a chance?”
“If we can somehow find where they went, but without the raccoon's ship to narrow it down, it very well could be impossible.”
“We owe it to Pepper to keep trying.”
Thor dropped to the stairs next to him. “Has the pager brought any results?”
“Not yet, but Nat’s keeping it charged. We’re going to find whoever’s on the other end. Fury trusted them for a reason.”
Carol Danvers appeared with a burning vengeance and a power they couldn’t begin to understand. “Fury was my friend,” she said. They didn’t question it because long before the Avengers initiative, before he was the Director, Fury was just a S.H.I.E.L.D agent with a hidden past deeper than the released files reached.
“Ours too.”
“Then we’ll avenge him. That’s what you guys say, right?” Carol smiled. “The Avengers are known throughout the galaxy. It’s not every day you hear of a Terran single-handedly blowing up hundreds of Chitauri ships and stopping an invasion.”
“Stark,” Steve said. Carol nodded.
“His heroics have echoed throughout the far reaches of the galaxy. Survivors spoke harshly of him and the five who stood with him. I have to say, it’s hard imagining Tony Stark as anything other than the Playboy he once was, but I’ve been gone for many years.”
“Tony was,” Natasha paused. “Is the greatest one of us,” she finished.
“Where is he?”
“Two weeks ago Thanos had his men enter New York to acquire Stephen Strange and one of the infinity stones. Tony, along with Peter Parker, boarded an untraceable ship and have been MIA since.”
“Do we know where they were going?”
“They were taking Strange to Thanos, but other than that we’re lost.” They had been lost for two weeks. Thor’s countless excursions and Pepper’s hopeful staring into the sky hadn’t brought Tony home.
“I might have an idea on how to find them,” Rocket said as he climbed onto the table. “It’s a pretty bad idea, but it’s an idea.”
“You’re just telling us now?” Natasha accused. Though he didn’t vocalize it, Steve felt the same. They had been searching for two weeks and raccoon hadn’t spoken up.
“It never woulda worked with just us, but she,” Rocket pointed at Carol. “might be able to help.”
Steve turned to Carol. He had always been good at reading faces. It was a talent that proved worthwhile during the War and again during his time at S.H.I.E.L.D. “Would you help us?” Steve couldn’t tell what she was thinking.
“Tell me what I need to do.” She was on their side, and Steve was grateful for it.
“After we rescued Thor over there my team split up. Groot and I went with him to make his new ax-thing while Quill and the others went to get the reality stone from Knowhere. I don’t know what happened there, but I do know the Milano’s connection was online up until an hour before the snap. If we can find the Milano then we might be able to find your Iron Man.”
“Where was the last signal?”
“That’s where it gets complicated. The signal came from Titan.”
Carol and Thor were the only ones concerned by this news. Steve and the other’s shared a look of confusion. “Titan?” Natasha questioned.
“Are you sure?”
“One hundred percent. Well, ninety-eight percent,” Rocket said to Carol.
“What’s Titan?”
“A wasteland. It used to thrive but life slowly died off due to overpopulation. It’s Thanos’ home planet. He wiped out half the population, and I’m willing to bet that’s why.”
“Do you think you can find him?”
“I’ll do my best.”
They didn’t tell Pepper. Natasha said it was best not to get her hopes up, not when there was no guarantee they would even find Tony. It was a shock for all of them when Carol returned carrying a ship on her back. Rocket was the first one to speak.
“That’s the Milano, that’s Quill’s ship.”
Stark looked terrible, and he brought another with him. Rocket knew who she was and the bad news she brought. The two of them left while Steve, Natasha, and Bruce followed Pepper and Tony inside. “He needs medical,” Bruce said, pushing ahead of everyone.
Steve didn’t go into the ward. Neither did Natasha. This was a private moment between Tony and Pepper and the medical staff that began swarming around them. The two stepped back to join the others.
“Nebula says the other guardians are gone,” Rocket said. He sat on the couch while the woman, Nebula, leaned against the wall. She adopted the same position Natasha would, the position of someone who was trained to be a killer.
“Thanos did exactly what he said he would. Half the population is gone.” Natasha went to her back to the screens of the missing. “What comes next?”
“Thanos used the infinity stones to kill them,” Steve said. “What if we used them to bring them back?”
“Bring everyone back, just like that?”
“Just like that.”
“Would it even work?”
“The infinity stones can alter reality. They’re used to create whatever you wanted, theoretically we’d if we were to use them we could bring everyone back,” Carol said. “But first we need to find them.”
“I can help with that.” Rocket pulled up one of the many holograms. “I added some of our tech to make this easier for you Terrans to understand. The infinity stones use a lot of power, right? Well, this right here is what Earth looked like after the snap. There’s energy everywhere, so,”
“So we followed it,” Carol said moving the hologram. “There’s only one other reading like in the universe.”
“Thanos used the stones again.”
“But now we know where he is.”
“It’ll take a day or so to get the Milano up and running, but we should all be able to travel together.”
“Then we will, and we’ll bring everyone back.” For the first time since Wakanda, Steve felt hope for the future.
And then, failure.