“i hope you know, all the songs i write are about you.”
a gust of wind blew through the two women standing on the balcony of a wedding venue. it was all bad luck to be honest; this night was supposed to be a quick wedding, something aya could come home early from, but the universe had different plans. when their eyes found each other in the crowd of people, there was no other choice but for the two women to instantly gravitate towards each other. now, how they arrived to the ongoing conversation was unclear, maybe it was the booze, maybe it was the pent up emotions, nothing felt clear anymore. aya didn’t bother replying to the other girl’s pitiful statement either, she focused on the car park below, passively eyeing the vehicles that were uniformly lined up one by one. they were easier for her to understand.
“i… i mean it, oosawa. you’re like my muse, even now.”
it didn't make sense how the woman standing next to aya could say something like that after everything. how those words pulled at the pink haired woman's heartstrings, the same way they did when she was just a teenage girl, while also making her stomach feel violently sick. aya wished that mitsuki could realize how much of an affect she held on her.
"...i was your friend before i was your muse, wasn't i?" the question left a bitterness in the air.
"wh..." the other woman took a step back, "of course! you were my friend before anything or anyone else." aya wished she could believe that.
"then why didn't you act like i was? you...you never even visited me." it was true. aya waited in japan, in her city, in her town, wishing that someday she would wake up to find what she had been looking for her next to her, but that never happened.
"oosawa," long, skinny fingers reached for her, "i just... i got busy, carried away, i didn't have as much time as i thought." bullshit.
"you could've called, or texted, or something." aya's voice trembled; she hoped her words would spill faster than her tears would, "i thought that-... you were the first person to match my rhythm, ever, i guess i assumed you felt the same too." that was another fact. for a long time aya felt that she wouldn't find someone like her, someone that could connect with her beyond surface level. so when she did find that person, she clung on for dear life.
"no- i felt that way too!." aya could hear a small smile in the other's voice, "you helped me find myself, oosawa.. i think i loved you more than any other person i'd met." aya thought for a moment, how could she even reply to something like that? or... maybe this was her chance to finally get closure, she wished.
"then... why did you leave me, mitsuki?"
-
silence was the only thing that followed the dreaded words that escaped from aya's lips. god- how she wished knew how to disappear completely. come to think about it, she wished a lot of things; she wished mitsuki would actually say something of meaning, she wished she held onto mitsuki a little tighter all those years ago, she wished mitsuki would come back to japan. maybe she just wished for mitsuki in general.
"i..." was the first thing that broke the silence, "i dont know." of course. aya considered storming out right then and there, nothing in this conversation had amounted to anything.
"...but, i know that i was hoping i could make it up to you?" was what followed. maybe her wishes were coming true. cautiously, aya finally turned to face mitsuki. when she did, she was finally able to take it all in, all the years they were apart; it was evident on mitsuki's appearance, from her long sleek hair, to her tired eyes, to even how pale she had gotten. the only resembling part that was left from the mitsuki aya knew all those years ago was the mole underneath her right eye. it was kind of like mitsuki's signature feature, after all.
"... i'd like that" aya stared into mitsuki, taking each part of her and saving it in her memory- just in case.
maybe tonight was the last night aya would have to depend on wishes.