Chapter 4
“And- and they just ignored me the whole way home Papa. Mama doesn’t want to spend any time with me at all because Harley is here. Do you think Mama likes Harley better than me?”
Peter didn’t want to sound like a cry baby but he couldn’t help it. He was sick of Mama and Harley always ignoring him and spending the weekend trying to get his Dad’s attention. “Does he want Harley because he’s bigger?”
Peter was well aware he was treated younger than others his age, even if he was younger than his class. Contrary to popular belief Peter did know that he was more sheltered than the average teenager. He couldn’t say he minded it though, his parents loved him and that’s what counted. They usually went off his mood anyway. Peter had often sat up later than his bedtime talking to his Dad about engineering projects he was doing along with discussing new scientific papers that came out. He might act younger but he was still his Mama’s son.
Steve was in his and Tony’s room, sitting on the rocking chair they had in there, with Peter on his lap. Peter loved the comfort of rocking on it.
“No baby. Why would you think that? You know Mama loves you more than anything in the world.”
Peter shrugged. “I know he loves me but does he like me? I think he likes Harley better. They’re going to go down to Mama’s lab and leave me up here like they always do.”
Steve cringed. Peter wasn’t wrong. The first night Harley came over it was always him and Tony in the lab together with Peter upstairs with him. They didn’t think Peter noticed it but they obviously didn’t give him enough credit. He was way better at hiding his emotions that he let on if it was only coming out now how upset he was.
“That’s because Mama wants to show him everything the both of you are working on and doesn’t want you to be bored while he does. You know Mama can’t keep an eye on you while he’s showing Harley things.”
Peter sighed, not happy with the answer at all. “Can I just stay with you this weekend Papa? Let Harley and Mama do what they want. I’m used to people not wanting me around. It happens enough in school so I don’t care. Mama can spend time with me if he wants when Harley goes home I suppose.”
The utter defeat in Peter’s tone broke Steve’s heart. He and his husband would be having very strong words tonight. Steve knew Peter sometimes had a hard time in school. He was younger and smarter than his class. The usually bred resentment. He was lucky he had good friends in MJ and Ned. His decathlon team were pretty protective of him as well.
“Peter if you’re not liking school you know we can go back to private tutors?” Steve hated sending him to school and would be more than happy to have him at home all day. Peter just shook his head though.
“No thank you, Papa. I like school. Can we get food?” Peter just wanted to stop talking about this. He knew he’d end up crying.
“Okay. Let’s go have some food. I’m sure Harley and Mama are already there.” Steve said standing Peter up before hopping up himself. He was watching Peter closely enough to see him stiffen.
“Actually Papa I’m suddenly not very hungry. I might just go take a shower.” Steve didn’t do much more than blink at him. Peter was always hungry so him saying he wasn’t was cause for alarm. Then add that he was willingly having a shower over a bath and Steve knew that Peter was feeling a lot worse than he let on. Steve decided to not force Peter to see them.
“Okay. Let’s head into your room and I’ll get the shower ready for you. I’ll leave fresh pyjamas ready for you on your bed as well. Make sure to clean behind those ears.” Steve teased, earning a small laugh out of Peter. It wasn’t the usual happy giggle he was used to but it would have to do. He could see Peter was trying.
He handed Peter a towel while he set the shower to the temperature Peter liked it, putting his favourite shampoo and body wash close.
Peter nodded his thanks before he closed the door quietly behind him. Steve was sure Peter was going to cry in the shower. He looked a hair breath away from it. Steve nearly went back into the bathroom to comfort him when he heard the first small sob but let Peter have his privacy. He laid out his favourite pyjamas and a fresh pair of underpants and socks on his bed before he made his way back down the hall to where he knew Tony had been listening to his and Peter’s conversation.
***
Tony felt sick. His own baby thought he didn’t want him around. Thought he preferred Harley over him. Thought he ignored him because he wasn’t as big as Harley. Tony sat at the kitchen table with Harley silently. Both of them had listened to Peter quietly telling Steve that he was okay with Harley and Tony ignoring him. Heard him not wanting to eat because he might have to see them. That tore Tony apart more than anything else. His own child, not wanting to see him. They also heard Peter’s muffled crying. How could this go so wrong? Tony always thought it was cute how clingy Peter would get. Never saw it as something to be worried about something to look deeper into. Apparently he was wrong though because Peter’s clinginess was him thinking Tony didn’t want him around and wanted to assure himself he hadn’t lost one of his parents.
Tony knew Peter loved Harley. Loved having him around. Peter had never given any inclination that he didn’t. Now Tony had to wonder if every time Harley came around he was jealous, not because Harley was bigger than him, but because he felt like Harley would come one day and just take Tony away from him. His poor baby was living with that fear every time he saw Harley. It was no wonder he asked Tony to sleep with him every night. Now he didn’t even want to see him. By the look on Harley’s face, he felt just as bad as Tony did. Both of them looked up when they heard Steve’s footsteps.
Steve took one look at the sorry pair at the table and sighed. “Anyone care to explain to me why I have a crying child in the shower?” Was all he said.
Harley opened his mouth and closed it again, shaking his head. He didn’t know what to say. Tony got that. He wasn’t sure himself.
“Steve. I-“ Tony couldn’t finish the sentence without choking up. Peter thought that while Tony loved him, he didn’t like him as much as Harley.
Steve shook his head. “You both messed up big time. Enough that Peter can’t bear to face the two of you. What are you going to do about it?”
Steve refused to help them. They made their beds.
Tony stood up suddenly. “I’m going to talk to him. Now. No way am I letting him go any further thinking I don’t like him.”
Harley looked at Steve with red-rimmed eyes. “I can go. I didn’t know he felt that way.”
Steve sighed again, pulling Harley into a hug. “Harls, Peter loves you. He just thinks that you and Tony don’t like him back. He likes you being here and loves to spend time with you. He just doesn’t see why you ignore him all the time,” Steve held up a hand when Harley went to open his mouth to protest, “I know what you did wasn’t intentional but to Peter it was devastating. Let Tony talk to him and after we know Peter knows that both of you love spending time with him then talk to him.”
Steve cut a look at Tony that sent him racing down to Peter’s room. Tony knew he was in the dog house with Steve. That was one protective Papa. He knocked quietly on Peter’s door and poked his head in when he didn’t receive an answer.
Peter was sitting on the bed in his pyjamas, knees up against his chest, hair dripping with excess water and eyes red-rimmed.
“Hey, baby. Mind if we talk?” Tony asked softly, not wanting up upset him further.
Peter just jerked his head once. Not saying anything else, just staring with a wariness that Tony hated. He didn’t want Peter to ever look at him that way.
“I heard what you said to Papa about me loving you but not liking you.” Tony stepped further into the room, sitting on the side of Peter’s bed so that he was facing him. From this close, he could see Peter was trembling slightly.
“I need you to know Pete that you are the most important person in my life. More than anyone else. I’m sorry. No matter if I didn’t realise I was doing it, I’m still sorry I made you feel that way. You have to know that I love spending time with you. Being with you and Papa and Harley is the best part of my days. I’m sorry if we ignored you today in the car and any other time we did it. I promise that I’ll try my best to never do it again and if I slip up I want you to call me out for it straight away.”
Tony finished his little speech, looking at the now crying child before him and his fingers itched to pull him close. He waited until Peter responded though.
“B-but you always laugh more with Harley and never spank him and joke more with him.” Peter listed off everything that was bothering him.
Tony sighed. “Petey, Harley is like a big brother to him. We all consider him family and he is our family where it matters but the difference is that Harley has a Mom back in Tennessee that deals with his discipline and all the rules. That leaves me to be able to joke more as a friend with him than a Dad. I am your Dad though which means my first priority is your safety and happiness. That sometimes means that you’ll get in trouble with me quicker than Harley would. Harley is old enough to be afforded a bit of leeway with that stuff. You’re still young enough that I have to give you a bit more structure. Do you understand?” Tony took Peter’s shaking hands and began to rub some heat back into them.
“So- it’s cause you love me that you give out to me? Do you not love Harley?” Peter was devastated to think that Harley wasn’t as loved.
“Of course I love Harley. Our relationship is just a small bit different than mine and yours. That’s not a bad thing. Think of it this way. Harley is more like one of the adults than one of the kids. So even though he plays with you and watches movies with you he’s still an adult and he’s treated like one. You’re a kid and will be treated like one. There’s no need to compete for my time Pete because I’m always 100% focussed on you, even when I’m talking to someone else.”
“Oh. Harley’s an adult. Why didn’t you just say so?” Peter asked, taking back one of his hands and wiping his damp eyes. Harley being an adult changed everything. Peter never saw him like that but he got it. Adults had more freedoms than kids did. It made sense. “Does Harley hate me now?” He asked, worried that Harley really wouldn’t like him anymore.
Tony let out a little sigh of relief, opening his arms for Peter to cuddle into him, smiling when a damp head hit his chest. “Of course not. He’s devastated thinking you don’t like him anymore. He asked Steve would it be better if he went.”
Peter reared back, his eyes wide. “No! I don’t want him to go!” Before Tony could say anything else Peter was up and gone, screaming for Harley not to leave him. Tony didn’t have it in him to give out to Peter for running and shouting in the house. He followed at a more sedate pace and got to the living room in time to see Harley tearily hugging Peter back.
“You know you’re my favourite person right? Even more than your Mama and Papa? Even more than my friends. I love coming here because of you?” Harley asked, nearly choking on his cries.
Peter nodded against his chest. “Uh-huh. Mama told me. You’re an adult. The rules are different. I just didn’t know. I’m sorry Harley.”
Harley squeezed him tighter. “Don’t be silly Peter. I’m sorry for ignoring you, even if I didn’t know I should have been aware of how sad you were. How about this? Tomorrow we can go to that ice cream place you like and get some? I’m sure your Mama and Papa won’t mind coming as well.” Harley knew full well they wouldn’t let Harley take him all the way to Queens himself. Peter might have said that Harley was an adult but Harley knew that was Tony’s only way of explaining why he had more freedoms.
“What about your friends?” Peter asked quietly.
Harley shrugged. “I cancelled on them. I’m extended my trip to a week instead of the weekend so I’ll go see them when you’re in school. I’d rather hang out with you.”
Peter beamed. “Okay! I love you, Harley.”
Harley hugged him tighter. “Love you too buddy.”