The Start of The End
JAKES POV.
I sighed, "They didn't even let me explain! I heard Lia out before jumping to conclusions but they didn't and I've known Lia for YEARS!!" I thought to myself laying in bed. My clock read ' 2:35 AM ', I couldn't sleep not after the nightmares I've been having.
I thought about the razor I have in the bathroom. "Should I..? It's been about 6 months since I last cut.. I mean it would be nice.." I thought. I sat up out of bed turning my phone off and walked over to the bathroom.
I opened the bathroom door and walked in, opening the little drawer I took out the everything in it while trying to be quite. "There it is" I whispered. Taking out the blade I ran it under the sinks warm water the puting soap on it so its washed properly.
After fully washing the blade I gently brought it to my skin. Before washing the blade I made sure that my bedroom door was locked so no one could come in. I got lost in thought practically zoning out and just letting the blade cut my skin. I didn't care if I re-opened old cuts at this point.
After I finished I looked to my arm to see how bad it was. It was pretty bad, I would say this was the worse I've ever done. Most of my old cuts had re-opened. I got some bandages and wrapped them around my arm, leaving them to rest i went to my leg. I repeated this process for around 15-20 minutes before I had almost nowhere to cut.
After I had wrapped everything with bandages I cleaned up the mess I had made and my way back to my room. Unlocking my door I decided to try and eat something. Once I got to the kitchen I decided to grab a poptart. It was the quietest and quickest thing I could make. I didn't want to wake Milo or Mum up. I put the poptart into the toaster and waited for it to finish.
While I was waiting I was wondering how tomorrow would go. "I'm not on good terms with the club, and the Jomies? I'm not even sure. Maybe I should just-" *ding!* "Ah the poptarts done. Though I should just stick to myself for now." I thought. Now that I had tomorrow sorted I could just think absout something else.
I tried to wat the poptart though I was able to eat around half of it before throwing it up, but hey at least I tried! I decided to draw, not anything in particular just let my mind and hands flow. I didn't like the end result but it passed at least 45 minutes. After that I had decided to go on my phone for a bit. Just listening to music and scrolling through my phone.
"Maybe I should use my notes app to write out my feelings and shit." I thought. With that in mind I opened up notes and created a new note. I just wrote and wrote until I had noticed I was crying. I didn't even notice it had been 2 hours. I liked writing it was a nice escape but I don't think it will always work.
Now that the sun was rising I should start to get ready for school. I threw on some clothes not caring if they where dirty or not. I put my phone in my pocket along with my earbuds. I walked out of my room to wake Milo up, Mum already went off to work.
After waking Milo up I went to go pack my bag, I put in a notebook, a pencil case, unfinished homework, and a paper bag with some ziplock bags with food inside. Food I wouldn't eat. I put that all in and then zipped it up. I stood up grabbing my bag and brpught it to the door. Then, I went to pack Milo's lunch. It was a Thursday so I didn't have to pack much. On Thursdays Milo's school gives out pizza.
I packed all of Milos stuff up and we walked out the door. I walked Milo to his bus stop, his school wasn't walking distance. "Bye, I'll see you after school." I said to my younger brother. He waved back at me. I started to walk to school.
"Today won't go well, I'm sure of it." I thought to myself walking into the school. I had walked to my locker to put my bag inside, someone hugged my from behind. i looked over my should and saw Drew.
"Hi Jake!" Drew said, acting like our fight never happened. I was confused. "Why was he talling to me? That fight would have ended our friendship right?" I thought. "Hello Drew.." I said almodt mumbling. A few minutes later he told me he had to go to his locker because class was starting soon.
I sighed and walked out of the hall towards the stairs. I sat down on one of the steps. I had been lost in thought but it had broke by the bell starting to ring. I had class.
TIME SKIP : LUNCH BREAK
The bell rang meaning it was lunch. I hated lunch, it was loud and one of the most unsanitary places in the school. I walked into the cafeteria trying to find a table with nobody at it, it was already packed. I had spotted a table in the back with nobody at it so I made my way over.
I sat down and pulled out my phone and earbuds I put in my earbuds and started to play some music. I didn't care if I would get in trouble. I put my head down on the table and just sat there.
I thought about what I should do once I got home. Calling or talking to people was immediately off the list. "Maybe I could go on a walk?" I thought. I wasn't too sure on what to do so I decided to go with that. A few minutes later the bell went, I had a free period now.
For my free period I decided to go to the roof, nobody went up there. I had sat by one of the benches close to the railings. The temptation to jump was high. Without me realizing I had walked over to the railing.
I think I was about to jump, I couldn't remember it clearly. Dasiy had stopped me before I could jump Daisy had stopped me she said something along the lines of, "Jake what are you doing?"