Accept it and move on
Chapter 8
Accept it and move on
On his drive towards his apartment in Studio City, Steve could not help but to reminisce over Tony's words.
"I don't have anyone but you."
‘Fuck' he thought.
How could he not help but wonder why, why did those words made such a big impact on him? He always knew that he had some sort of attraction towards Tony… but this was taking things to a new level.
Even though he knew that he should never... ever express some kind of emotional or physical attraction the direction of his boss, but he could not help but feel a hint of flattering.
He always found Tony attractive, hell he had been Peoples Sexiest Man alive 3 times, but he knew that Tony would never even fathom the thought to spare him a second glance at work, let alone look at him in that way. He was the personal assistant, and that is how it would remain.
Growing up Steve never had the ‘it factor' that most people wanted. He even made a list of reasons why most people looked the other way and not at him.
Firstly, his height.
Being 5 ft 5, even at the age of 30, people saw this as a joke. Compared to his father, who was 6 ft 4, he was comically short.
The fact that his mother gave birth to him at the tender age of 20.
She always told him that when she met his father she instantly knew that he was ‘the one' and it got even better when she found out that she was pregnant. His parent's friends had a ‘Friendsgiving' dinner party and while they were making their way there an accident occurred that caused Steves mother to go into early childbirth where Steve ended up being born prematurely at 28 weeks.
His IQ.
His IQ might have contributed to the fact that he was able to get the job at SI, due to it being slightly above average at 115. However, Steve never thought of that score as great or fantastic. It allowed him to start university at the age of 16 and to finish his MBA at the age of 22, during which he already secured an immediate job placement due to his internship at SI.
And lastly, his sexuality.
Accepting that he was gay was the single hardest thing that Steve had to go through. Nevertheless, growing up in the flamboyant neighbourhood of Greenwich Village, and his father being a well-known humans rights lawyer. Joseph, his father, told him ‘that it was okay to be who you are, its not something that can be changed. All you can do is accept it and move on'.
So he did.
Yes, he was bullied for coming out at 15 but he knew that he had the support of his parents behind him and that's all that mattered.
As he turned into his apartment parking lot, Steve knew that Bucky was right, however, whatever crush or infatuation he had developed towards Tony over the last 10 years, had to disappear as soon as possible. However, he knew that that was a moot point, as he gazed upon the Arc Reactor that sat comfortably on the passenger seat of his Audi A5. He knew that his feelings toward Tony would not go anywhere anytime soon.
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Descending the staircase that leads to Tony's garage, with the Arc Reactor gift that Steve held in his hand that had a cup of steaming coffee perched on top of it, Steve entered his code onto the glass touchpad and approached Tony. He halted mid-step once he saw the device that was on Tony's left arm.
" I thought you said that you were done with making weapons?" Steve voiced
"This thing" Tony started as he peered at his arm, "mmm, well it isn't. This is just a flight stabilizer. It's completely harmless."
Steve raised his right eyebrow and let out a sarcastic chuckle "Harmless? Like that mini-game of operation that you made me play, as your highly under-qualified doctor, which spoiler alert, I could have killed you in. That kind of harmless?"
Tony smirked, "Well fun fact, I think that you are perhaps the best instant doctor I've ever had."
"That honestly sounds like a story that's meant to be told over an unnecessarily large glass of wine," Steve snickered
"Maybe a whole bottle," Tony joked, "So over what kind of glass will it be? Chardonnay, Merlot, Sauvignon blanc or Cabernet Sauvignon?"
"Funny enough, I'm actually into Rosé's at the moment," Steve replied cheekily as he placed the package down on the table nearest to him when Tony decided to do a test run of the flight stabilizer.
It resulted in him being blasted back with a harsh force that looked as if it caused a mini tornado inside the workshop.
Steve could not help the tug of a smile that was forcing its way onto his face as Tony had a shocked yet pleased look on his face and said, " I honestly did not expect that to happen and wipe that smile off of your face, smug does not suit you."
Steve rolled his eyes, " And it does on you? The hypocrisy of it all." He turned to make his way back to the glass door but before he opened the door the made eye contact with Tony, " You might want to hurry up and make your way upstairs Obadiah is his way here and you definitely do not want him finding his way down here," he said with a hint of worry.