Life and death
Chapter 4
Life and death
Two months in and Tony was still missing. Everyone else was just carrying on with their lives.
Steve never thought that what he learned in an English poetry or literacy class would apply to his actual life.
‘ At one point, people just forget and move on. That's just life.'
He couldn't remember the poet who said that but that short sentence described his life perfectly. People at SI were moving on. Even though Steve was indispensable he knew that at some point he was just going to be a ‘dead weight'. Without his boss, without Tony, he really had no purpose at SI. He could see the wheels turning in Obadiah's mind. Even though he was working with Allison ( Obadiah's assistant ), helping her since Obadiah took over the CEO's position as the interim CEO, Steve knew that it was officially time to do some job hunting.
He hated job hunting.
It was time-consuming, beyond tedious, torturous and lastly depressing. Job hunting was the first step that Steve had to take in his ‘moving on period', it hurt… but it had to be done. He got calls from all types of businesses. Most of the businesses wanted him to have the position of a business analyst since they knew about the role he played at Stark Industries.
The most surprising call came from Hammer.
Justin Hammer.
If Tony were with him, he would most probably have taken the phone from his hand and disconnect the phone call… with a cheeky smile on his face.
It happened when Steve was sitting in his office, drinking his grande iced coffee cold brew with almond milk, his cellphone ringed. He looked at the caller ID he assumed that it would be Rhodey, he called once a week to update Steve on their search mission, but instead saw the words ‘Private Number'. Thinking that it could have been his bank he answered, only to be put through to the to Mr. Hammer.
"Steve!," he heard the boisterous voice that belonged Hammer.
‘fuck’ Steve screamed mentally.
" Mr. Hammer," Steve said with the utmost politeness that he could muster, " This is truly unexpected. According to the news outlets you were splashed on the cover of, you not even in America. To what do I have the honour of receiving this phone call?"
"Well Steve", he began, " It's a sad thing and it always will be that Tony is not here with us any longer ,however as the saying goes ‘life move on'," he said with fake sad and sarcasm dripping from his voice, "and in the spirit of moving on and letting go, I have the perfect proposition for you. Why don't you work for me as my head of research analysis team? Unfortunately, the pay won't be 100 % like your one at SI but we are willing to pay around 95% of it, with an added benefit of a large bonus!. So what do you say, Steve ?"
"First of all, Mr. Hammer," Steve stated heatedly, " My name to you is Mr Rogers, not ‘Steve'. I am not your friend, never have been and I never will be. The audacity that you have too even fake sympathize as a way to try to convince me that you even care about the fact that Mr. Stark is missing says a lot. I will not! I repeat I will never, ever, ever in the considerable future even fathom the thought of working your operations as my first or second… hell, even my third choice. If that hasn't made it clear to you, then I think this will, I decline."
And with that Steve slammed the phone down on the counter after hung up on Justin Hammer.
If he was honest, he truly enjoyed that. It allowed him to release whatever pent up energy he had store away. He hasn't had any sexual contact since this whole incident happened. He was always too busy or too stressed out by the work that Obadiah threw at him.
There was also the time that he was able to make that impromptu trip to the camp base where Rhodey was situated. He tried to help as much as he could, with his brainpower of course, but alas that had also can to a dead-end -much to Steves dismay- but he knew that the army was working as hard as they could. However, at some point, the order of priorities would change and other things would then become more important.
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It was going on to three months and whatever hope Steve had was beginning to fade out slowly.
He decided it was about time to take a vacation and choose to see his parents, back in New York. When he arrived at the airport and exited from the ‘arrival’ area, the first this he saw was the giant of a man that his father was. Standing at 6 ft 4, Steve was always made fun of due to the fact that he did not take after his father’s height and favoured his mothers, but that was perfectly fine with him.
As he sat in the back of his parents Range Rover Sport, lost in his thoughts, Steve thought back onto the words ‘move on' and that he should maybe use the opportunity that was placed in front of him by visiting his parent to finally accept that maybe Tony was not going to return. He would always have that small glimmer of hope that would stay with him until it was final, with the act of a body in a casket, that would be returning to the State, but until then, that glimmer of hope would never disappear. He was just… carrying on.
Okay... trying to carry on.
Arriving at the townhouse that he grew up in, allowed him to have a sense of nostalgia. It reminded him that he was home. Los Angeles was just a place for him to stay in while he did his work. Yes, he was able to meet new people and have fun, but New York would always be home. The smell of freshly baked cinnamon rolls gained the widest smile from Steve.
Putting his bags in the hallway and his keys and phone on the console, Steve made his way to the kitchen saying hello to Olga, his parent's housekeeper and his nanny while growing up, he grabbed a side plate and snatched one… okay, two cinnamon rolls and put it on the table that was situated in front of an empty bar chair. He began making small talk to both his mom and Olga when his dad walked in with Steves phone in his hand saying that it was ringing three or four times.
Steve took his phone, unlocking it, and saw that there were six missed calls from James ‘Rhodey' Rhodes.
Frowning, Steve immediately asked to be excused as he had an important call to make. He told them it was a matter of ‘life and death' when his mother tried to remind him that he was on holiday and that his work should not be bothering him.
Slowly he made his way out of the kitchen into the living room, that was the closest room to the kitchen yet had enough privacy.
He ‘woke' his phone and went to his contacts and searched for Rhodey's contact. When he found it he pressed the ‘call’ button. Not ever a second late he was connected to Rhodey, he knew that it would be mid-evening around 7 or 8 pm there so it wouldn't be that bad.
"Hey Rhodey, how are things that side?" He began.
"Well," said an extremely familiar voice, "last time I checked in the mirror I definitely did not look like Rhodey. and he without a doubt does not have my dashing good looks and charm."
Speechless Steve replied "T…Ton… Tony? Is that you? Please, I beg of you… please say that it is you?" as he felt his legs begin to feel as if they were on the edge of giving out.
He heard a chuckle, " I missed you too Stevie."
Steve grabbed a hold of the armchair and responded, " I hate that nickname. I still hate the fact that Bucky came to work that one day and called me that and on top of that you heard him." Taking a deep breath he continued, " I've honestly never been so grateful to hear your voice. You were terribly missed, Mr. Stark."
"You don't say," Tony said cheekily.
“Hey Tony, can you please hand the phone over to Rhodey quickly please?," He asked.
“Hey Steve," came the quick response from Rhodey.
Allowing his voice to officially crack Steve whispered, “ Thank you. I know that he is your friend… your best friend, but I just want to thank you for never giving up. I… no we… Stark Industries will forever be grateful to you and your servicemen, Rhodey.
"It was no problem. I'd do it over and over again." came the reply.
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Steve grabbed his coat and decided to go for a walk.
He loved walking during the time of the fall, it was not too hot yet not too cold. Passing the tranquil café, that was on the corner of his parents street, he bought himself a tall Earl Grey tea with almond milk and began to make his journey to a place that he saw last around 10 years ago.
His old church.
He just sat in the pews and with a deep sigh he placed his tea on the ground and took out the Rosary Bead that he had been carrying since he first found out the dreaded news that surrounded Tony, he placed his knees on the hassock that was attached to the pew.
He went into the ‘praying' position and wrapped the beads around his hands, with the cross hanging loose, and began to recite the ‘Hail Mary' prayer again, however this time it wasn't out of somberness and desperation.
It was out of thankfulness.