The first time Tony really noticed Peter’s potty dance was pretty early on, but not as early on as one might think. Well, that wasn’t quite true, he had seen it pretty often actually- it just took one specific incident to realise, retrospectively, that Peter ended up desperate practically every time he set foot in the lab.
They were a few weeks into their working relationship and Peter was just starting to come out of his shell ever so slightly; and Tony was just starting to determine certain things about the kids personality. He already had Peter’s routine down to a T, noticing all his weird quirks, but he was still at the beginning of the lengthy process of finding out why Peter behaved the way he did.
See, the kid went from being hyper, chatty and talkative when he first arrived, to shy and reserved by the time he left whenever he visited the lab; but that seemed to be a daily cycle with him. He’d always show up to the lab excited and bursting with energy, before he’d slowly mellow out and tone it down. Sometimes, Tony felt he toned down too much and he’d often be completely silent for a majority of the afternoon. It worried him a little but it wasn’t until much later that the man would realise that Peter was deliberately altering his behaviour; the teenager thought that Tony found his excitement annoying, and he’d get so down on himself about it he’d end up making himself upset and hence why he’d go quiet. Which was quite upsetting to hear and quite on the contrary.
Still, Tony didn’t know that at the time, he just figured it was the boys ADHD causing the hyperactivity; and that he calmed down once he had something to focus on, which was in part true but a lot of it was Peter’s anxiety issues.
It was one of the quieter times and Tony had Peter working on a project in the corner. The boy was testing a new blend of metal for him, seeing how the surface would react to various chemicals; whether it would corrode or become brittle and the like. The chemicals themselves were extremely diluted and the surface of the metal had been altered to make it ultra reactive. Tony did this as not only would it make the testing process quicker but Peter would be at less risk of injuring himself. He thought the risk was reduced enough to the point where the boy didn’t need to wear gloves but he had underestimated just how clumsy the kid was (and how his skin would stick to things and at times make it difficult to control just how much solution he was pouring- but in fairness Tony didn’t know about the whole Spider thing yet). It was a rookie mistake on his part, not Peter’s, but that didn’t make it any less stressful when he heard the clinking of glass tubes and a splashing sound; that was soon accompanied by slight hissing as Peter’s skin started to fizz. Ah fuck.
Tony turned to see Peter attempting to catch a vials worth of dualities sulfuric acid that was dripping off of the table in his bare hands. “Kid stop- leave the mess go rinse your hands!”
But the teenager was in panic mode and clearly more concerned about having just made a mess in the lab; and having his mentor yell at him, even if it was out of concern, didn’t help. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to-“
“It’s fine- I’m more concerned about you not burning yourself. Sink. Now.” Tony said lowly, making an effort to keep his voice steady instead of panicking like he wanted to. If he lost his shit too the kid would likely just freak out more and they didn’t have time to deal with a panic attack along with everything else; not when Tony was worried about the kid getting chemical burns.
“Uhh-o-Okay..” Peter said nervously and walked over to the sink, a lot slower than someone whose hands must have been itching up a storm- if not burning- would walk. Even when the teenager got up to the sink he paused for a long time before turning on the faucet and when he did he yelped loudly and jumped, before the water even made contact with his skin.
As soon as Peter turned the tap on Tony realised why the boy was so hesitant. The second the water came out of the faucet the boys knees locked together and he bounced slightly. He must’ve assumed that Tony wasn’t looking in his direction because he continued bouncing the entire time the water was running, even going so far as to cross his legs a step back and forth a couple times before he built up the courage to stick his hands under the water. As soon as he did, it was undeniably obvious that the boy wasn’t just having some kind of weird reaction to his hands being irritated. He had to pee. And badly by the looks of it.
How hadn’t Tony realised it before? Looking back on it, the boy had been shifting around uncomfortably for a while now- but again, he’d just chalked it up to boredom or the fact that the ADHD riddled kid found it difficult to sit still for long periods of time. Come to think of it, Tony couldn’t remember the boy using the bathroom at reception as he usually did before heading down to the lab.
It was just something that Tony noticed as he watched peter enter the building over the security cameras; that he ritualistically visited the washrooms there before he came downstairs and again on his way out. He figured that Peter was too shy to ask for a break when he was working, he was shy about everything else so it only made sense; or just simply that the boy needed to go after his commute and wanted to go before the drive home. None of those things seemed unusual for a kid his age so Tony had never questioned it, but now he was. Now he was questioning everything, especially why the kid didn’t just go to the bathroom sooner when he clearly actively needed to.
Tony glanced at the clock. It was almost time for Peter to be going home, he’d already been there for nearly two hours and he’d been quiet for some time...just like every other time he visited..did the..did the boy go quiet because he had to pee? Again, Tony went through all of their other meetings in his head, connecting the dots; it was around the same time every evening. Peter would come in, having just used the bathroom down stairs, friendly and chatty then he’d progressively get quieter and quieter- now, assumedly, because his bladder was filling up and he was counting down the minutes before he could go home and relieve himself. That would make sense. But if that was the case, why didn’t he just say so?
He already knew the kid was bad at asking for anything. If it wasn’t a direct question about work Peter wouldn’t ask- like the first time he came over and Tony had lost track of time, Peter didn’t mention the fact that his aunt was texting him asking where the hell he was, because he was too nervous to bring it up to the man. A lot of little things like that had happened, a lot, so Tony wouldn’t have put it past the kid to be shy about asking for a break. Hell, maybe the kid had some kind of OCD and didn’t want to use any other bathroom than the one downstairs- he’d read up a lot on ADHD because, well he was trying to be a responsible adult and he wanted to know how to help the kid out, and that had been a common thing he’d seen so maybe it was that. There was a lot of reasons why the kid might’ve decided to hold it instead of asking, but it became very clear very quickly that he wouldn’t be able to hold it for much longer.
While Tony was thinking, it was obvious that the water running over the teenagers skin was absolutely torturous, as one would imagine it would be with a full bladder. Tony had ran through all those possibilities in his head in less than a minute but it was clear that was enough time from Peter to go from ‘kinda desperate’ to ‘about to pee his pants’.
He felt kind of awkward doing so but Tony couldn’t let the boy disgrace himself, he had to say something. He knew it wasn’t normal for an adult to have to prompt a fourteen year old to go to the bathroom (at least he didn’t think it was, but again he didn’t have much experience with kids)- but that didn’t matter. Fuck social conventions; Peter clearly wasn’t confident enough to step out from under the spray in case his mentor yelled at him (like he would? But again it was still the early days, Peter was still learning about Tony just as much as the man was learning about him), but if he didn’t he was going to end up spraying down the floor. It was obvious the boy was still waiting for permission to move but was too scared to ask for it.
So Tony was going to relieve him of the burden of having to ask, in ways of apology for not noticing sooner. “Have your hands stopped burning?”
“Uh-uh huh- mm!” It was obvious that Peter hadn’t meant to let that little squeak out at the end, so Tony didn’t comment on it.
“Then go. Just put some gloves on before because- well you know.” Tony said casually, not wanting to dwell on the subject too much knowing the kid would be uncomfortable.
“Huh?” Peter asked confusedly. God he was going to make it difficult for Tony wasn’t he?
“The bathroom, kid.”
“Oh uh- o-okay..sorry.” Instead of looking relieved that he didn’t have to verbalise it, the kid looked embarrassed; understandably, his mentor had just basically called him out for pee dancing like a little kid but there was something else about his expression that Tony didn’t understand right away. Though he’d soon understand it.
Tony just figured the kid was saying sorry because- well he always did, but when he watched Peter walk towards the exit instead of towards the bathroom; and then go to pick up his bag despite the fact that he could barely walk to steps without having to stop and cross his legs- Tony got worried.
“Peter what are you doing?” The man asked, allowing genuine concern to show in his voice for once. And using the boys first name which certainly got his attention.
“L-l-leaving?”
“Why?” Shit. Tony had scared him off, fuck he hadn’t meant to be too forward. He just didn’t want the boy to pee himself, but thinking about that now that was ridiculous. Surely Peter wouldn’t have let it go that far (no he totally would have, he’d sooner wet himself than say he had to pee- but again, Tony didn’t know that yet even if he was starting to realise) and he’d just made things awkward by pointing it out unnecessarily.
“B-b-b ‘cause you said t-to?” Peter stammered, looking at the floor as though he wanted it to swallow him whole. Or like he was scared that he was about to pee on it- either way he was looking at the floor and Tony didn’t like that.
What was the kid talking about? No, he didn’t. He said- wait a minute. Oh.
“I said go to the bathroom. It’s right there.” Tony said calmly pointing towards the door to the left of him.
“Oh..am..am I allowed to use that one?” Peter asked innocently.
Tony’s realisation had been right, and the man couldn’t kicked himself. But he remained calm outwardly, being very conscious of not making the boy feel any more awkward than he undoubtedly did. Though he couldn’t stop himself from shaking his head as he said; “Yes, of course you are.”
“Oh thank god- thank you sir.” Peter managed to squeak out as he ran back across the room and the second he thought his back was turned enough from Tony he grabbed himself between the legs.
The man just shook his head. Dumbfounded. Why would the kid think he wasn’t allowed to use the bathroom? Tony had never told him he couldn’t. Nor had he explicitly told him he could either- and that’s where Tony realised the problem lied. Peter had been waiting for expressed permission to use that room, he should’ve realised that ages ago- the kid had waited for permission to sit in a certain seat for fucksake-
The poor little kid, had he ended up bursting to pee every time they worked together? Why hadn’t the boy said anything? Why hadn’t he noticed?
He should have noticed. In hindsight looking at it, Tony should have noticed. Not in that bullshit ‘hindsight is 20/20’ way- no, it would have been obvious to anyone who saw the kid what was going on but Tony was so detached from other people at that point that he just hadn't. The notion that his little idea machine had normal bodily functions had completely slipped his mind and god that was so irresponsible of him- so unfair on the kid. Peter had been trying so hard to make a good impression and Tony had been so inconsiderate in return. Had the boy not been literally in the other room Tony would have verbally berated himself (among other things).
Peter was a child. Yes, a very smart, very mature child- who would have been insulted that Tony called him such- but he was only fourteen. He didn’t possess the necessary social skills or thinking processes that most of Tony’s adult colleges would have had; because he wasn’t one. The boy being so smart made Tony forget how young he was- of course he was shy about saying he had to go for a piss, who wouldn’t be in front of someone they’d literally described as their hero? As much as the thought made him cringe, it was understandable.
“Peter.” Tony stopped the kid just as he was about to go into the restroom, which he felt horrible for doing- but he wasn’t trying to deny the boy relief. He was just trying to avoid something even more uncomfortable happening to him.
“W-What is it sir?” It was obvious from the look on his face that he was praying that Tony hadn’t changed his mind about using the en-suite toilet- like Tony would, it was obvious that Peter was about to pee whether it be in the toilet or in his pants.
Tony cleared his throat looking briefly towards the boys hands, one of which was still hurried between his legs. “Gloves.”
“Oh.” If it was possible for the teens face to get redder it certainly would have done as he grabbed the gloves and sped into the bathroom.
Tony spent the time Peter took relieving himself to think over all of the fucky decisions he’d made leading up to that moment. He felt so unbelievably guilty and in all honesty the incident made him re-evaluate his entire relationship thus far with the kid. He needed to start treating him like a kid, not in a patronising way, but he had to be more aware of the fact that Peter couldn’t do everything he could; he couldn’t go hours without a break and he couldn’t always speak up (which again he’d later find out wasn’t quite a normal teenage thing, but an anxiety ridden Peter thing, but they’d get there) and that the kid needed a little..care.
And Tony realised he did care. He did care a lot. The idea that Peter had been uncomfortable for any period of time in the lab made him feel physically sick, especially when he realised that it was due to his neglect. If he hadn’t been so careless-
He could get down on himself about that later, probably over a bottle of whiskey, but now the kid had shyly popped his head out of the restroom and he intended to fix this before it got worse. He gestured for Peter to come over to him, where he was seated at his bench. “Kid, come here.”
The kid obliged though he kept his head down, wringing his hands nervously the whole time. It was like he was expecting to get yelled at or fired or something- which only made Tony feel more awful about the whole ordeal. The boy looked so young, how could Tony ever forget that he was? “Y-Yes Mr. Stark?”
“For the record you’re allowed to use every single bathroom in this building.” Tony clarified, seeing the boys expression change. “You don’t need to ask for permission, just go.”
“I..I only knew where the ones in the lobby were sir..” Peter admitted with a small shrug, his face going redder than humanly possible. “They were the only ones you ever showed me; s-so I figured they were the only ones I was allowed to go in...”
Of course that made sense to the kid, Tony felt like such an asshole for not thinking of that sooner. Fuck he was an asshole- fuck-
But again he made a concerted effort to keep calm on the surface. Making sure to keep the conversation casual, like this was totally normal, so the kid didn’t get scared off. “Ah shit, sorry kid. Well I’ll walk you out tonight and point some more out, okay? You don’t have to ask unless we’re in the middle of something.”
“O-o-Okay, sir.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Tony asked gently. He already knew the answer but he was testing the waters with how open the kid would be with him.
“I didn’t wanna bother you, sir.” Peter said almost inaudibly as he looked back towards the ground.
“Is that why you go quiet before you leave the lab?” Tony asked and this time Peter’s eyes snapped up; clearly he hadn’t thought his mentor had noticed (and in fairness he hadn’t- not for the right reasons any way) and Tony could help but think the deer in headlights look was cute. Cute? God what was wrong with him, since when did he think anything was cute?
“Uhh..w-well uh..Uhm..”
“So yes.” Tony finished for him and Peter managed to bring himself to give a tiny nod. “That’s not healthy. You shouldn’t hold it for that long and certainly not that often.”
“Yeah I know..” Peter cringed, clearly he’d been told this more than once before- which Tony noted. Maybe this whole thing hadn’t been just his fault, maybe this was an ongoing issue with the boy too. He added that on a list of things to find out from the kids aunt at a later date but for now he wanted to make it very clear that he wasn’t going to tolerate Peter being uncomfortable in any capacity; and especially not over something as simple as having to pee, not something so easily fixable.
“Don’t do it again, okay?” Tony said, a little harshly than his future self would have liked. He wasn’t exactly the best at talking to Peter about emotional matters back then; but either way it seemed to get the message across as Peter gave another small nod.
Luckily, Peter recovered quickly once Tony stopped talking about the embarrassing situation; and the man noticed how Peter returned to being bubbly and chatty once his bladder was empty. Part of him was happy to have finally gotten to the bottom of why the kids mood would change but the rest of him felt awful for never noticing before. He ended up thinking about it a lot in private, about how inept he felt at dealing with a child let alone as one as complex as Peter (little did he know just how complex- hoo boy you’re in for a wild ride buddy); but other than using it as an opportunity to self deprecate he used the experience as a learning curve. There were positives to be had from it, other than the crippling guilt, and it certainly helped him to be more conscious of Peter and his needs in the future.
Now everytime he took Peter anywhere in the tower he pointed out every available bathroom; and he set up a strict set of rules in his lab regarding when to ask for things, all of which helped to avoid anymore unnecessary potty dances. There were still a fair few to be had, especially whilst he got Peter used to excusing himself, but they were a lot more manageable now. He was a lot more aware and present when the kid was around, making sure to stay in tune with him instead of just assuming he could do everything on his own. And Tony felt 1000 times better now he knew he was finally doing the right thing for his kid.