Jealousy
Bucky nodded slowly, “Guess I deserve that…”
“Would you…” You swallowed the lump in your throat, “Are you ready to meet Aspen?”
His eyes flashed to meet yours, “Yeah. Are you sure it’s okay with you?”
You could hear the nerves in his voice, the fingers on his metal arm fidgeting. Your hand twitched, reaching to grab and settle him, your body forgetting for a moment that you no longer had a claim to him, no reason to touch him.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure. Come on…”
He fell into step beside you as you lead him back to your suite. The two of you said nothing to each other, both too afraid to speak. You’d almost reached your room when you heard a quiet squeak behind you. You shoved Bucky to the side, catching a hard leather ball that flew right past where he’d been moments before.
You whirled, throwing the ball right back into the face of Volstagg. He snagged it out of the air with a laugh and you rolled your eyes as you stared down the Warriors Three, your hands on your hips. You did your best to look stern for a long moment before a grin split your face, forgetting for a moment that Bucky was with you.
“What’d we say about playing inside?” you asked, using what they called your ‘mom voice’.
“Sorry, [Y/N]. Couldn’t help it this time” his warm laugh echoed down the hall, “I was hoping you’d be too distracted.”
“Maybe you should focus on being a little quieter. Your shoe squeaked” you shrugged.
Volstagg cursed playfully and winked at you, “Maybe you should focus on your man there.”
You flinched slightly, turning to look at Bucky as they reminded you he was there. He was watching the Warriors Three, a look on his face that you couldn’t figure out. While you were distracted, trying to figure out Bucky’s face, Volstagg decided to take advantage of the situation again. You didn’t even notice the leather ball coming for you, but Bucky did. He snagged the ball out of the air and passed it back to you.
You shot him a small smile, turning back to the Warriors Three and tossing the ball to Hogun, “Sorry guys, but Bucky and I need to go. I won’t be at training later tonight either.”
You ignored their curious whispers and continued the walk to your suite, it took Bucky a moment to catch up to you. As soon as you were out of their sight, you let out a heavy sigh and a frown slipped back into place on your face. Bucky gently grabbed your arm, stopping.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, voice soft.
“Don’t worry about it” you sighed and he merely cocked an eyebrow, waiting. Finally, you continued, “It’s going to be all over that you’re here within the hour. Those three are not good at keeping secrets like that.”
Bucky frowned, “Is that a problem?”
You shook your head, “Nope. Just a bit of an inconvenience. I’m going to have to answer a lot of questions now.”
“Like what?”
“Look. I don’t exactly like talking about you, and the others didn’t want to spread that info without me. I think a lot of the people around here assumed Aspen’s dad was dead.” You muttered. You’d never agreed with the rumor, but you’d never outright denied it and it had taken on a life of its own over the years.
Bucky let out a low breath, and you stepped back, out of his grasp. The heartbreak was clear on his face, and you couldn’t stand to look at him. You looked down, studying your feet. You’d never intended for the lie to get out of hand, let alone for him to hear it. This time you set off towards your room at a quick pace, anxious to get out of the hall and into your suite.
You opened the door to find Thor and Sif sitting on the floor playing with Aspen. Bucky followed you in but stood just inside the door, his eyes snapping to the beautiful baby girl on the floor. Thor and Sif murmured goodbyes, and you leaned down, scooping Aspen up into your arms.
You turned to face Bucky, heart racing as you held your little girl close, “Bucky, this is Aspen.”
He didn’t dare move a muscle. You were smiling down at your baby girl and began to make a few funny faces. Her cheerful giggle lit up the room and you swayed back and forth with her slowly. Bucky watched the two of you, his heart breaking all over again as he realized everything he’d lost.
Seeing the devastation on Bucky’s face, you slowly walked up to him, giving him plenty of time to adjust. Aspen reached up towards Bucky’s hair when you were close and began to tug on it. Bucky stared down into Aspen’s little eyes, and she stared back up at him, her eyes the spitting image of his.
You smiled softly at Bucky and began to pass Aspen to him. He froze, unsure what to do and stared at you, eyes pleading for help. Quickly, you adjusted him to have a better grip on her so she was sitting comfortably in his arms. You squeezed his arm once in reassurance and watched as father and daughter studied each other for the first time.
~~~~~~
A few hours later, Bucky was laying on your floor playing with Aspen. You were sitting in your favorite chair, watching. It felt like someone had stabbed you in the heart, watching him with Aspen. He was still nervous around her, but it was clear he was a natural and the fact that you had kept them apart for so long was killing you.
He’d missed so much because of everything. He’d missed Aspen’s first smile, first words, first steps, first birthday. He’d missed so many milestones that he could never get back, and while you still were upset about the breakup, you resolved to make a friendship with him. If only for Aspen’s sake.
“How long are you here for?” you asked quietly. You’d changed back into your normal clothes, and you began to pick at the hem of your shirt, anxious.
He sat up, turning to you with a small frown“I don’t know. I didn’t really discuss anything before I made Thor bring me here.”
“Well, if you’re staying the night, Thor can have a guest room set up for you” you took a nervous breath before continuing, “Or you can sleep on my couch if you want to stay closer…”
“Are you sure you don’t mind?”
“It’s fine, Bucky. But if you wake Aspen when she’s asleep, I’ll kill you” you fell silent as six bells chimed through the castle and you got to your feet, turning to him, “Come on, it’s supper time.”
~~~~~~
Bucky followed you into the dining hall nervously. You’d let him carry Aspen, hoping that it would help him feel a bit better. So far, it seemed to be working as he only looked mildly panicked. You shot him a reassuring smile and led the way over to the table you always shared with Thor, Loki, Lady Sif, and the Warriors Three.
You caught Thor’s nervous glance at you, and you smiled softly at him. Bucky watched you curiously as you approached Thor, hoping you honestly weren’t mad at him for helping. You leaned over the sitting Thor and pecked him on the forehead once. He shot you a grateful grin in return.
You took your usual seat next to Loki and slowly conversation at the table returned to normal as everyone dug into the meal. Bucky sat there quietly watching you laugh and joke with the family you’d made here. He frowned deeply, his eyes narrowing, as you teased Loki, bumping him with a playful smirk.
During dinner, you spoke to Thor and Bucky and decided that in two days, you’d visit Midgard again with Aspen. It was time to stop hiding and face the team you’d left behind. Until then, Bucky would be staying in your room so he could spend more time with Aspen. You’d figure out a proper visitation schedule after your trip to Midgard, but you really wanted to try and be fair to Bucky.
~~~~~~
Later that evening, after you’d put Aspen down for the night, you and Bucky sat in your lounge. You poured him a cup of hot tea and grabbed your own, curling the fingers around the warm ceramic mug.
He murmured a small thank you, taking the mug from you, “You drink tea now?”
You grinned, “They don’t have coffee here, I’ve had to adjust. It’s a little bitter but if you add honey, it’s not half bad actually.”
A few moments passed, the quiet wasn’t uncomfortable this time. “It’s up to you what you want to do tomorrow. In the mornings, I train with Sif and the afternoons I train with the Warriors Three, Thor, or Loki. You’re welcome to join me or stay here with Aspen”
Part of you worried that he would take Aspen and run. Logically, you knew even if he did, he wouldn’t make it far since he couldn’t leave Asgard. While the man you’d known and fallen for would never do that, you weren’t quite sure about this guy in front of you now. The Bucky you knew would have never said he didn’t love you, would have never pushed you away, lied to you or hidden things from you.
“Would it be alright if I brought Aspen to watch you train? I don’t know who watches her or if she’s allowed or…” he trailed off, unsure.
You smiled softly, “That’s fine. Usually, Loki or Thor helps me watch her, sometimes Lady Sif if I’m desperate. Loki can help set up a corner of the arena completely safe, my shields still aren’t strong enough to last that long!”
He frowned, looking down at the mug in his hand, “Sounds like Loki and you are close…”
“Yeah, I don’t know where I’d be without him and Thor. They’ve been by my side since they found out I was pregnant. I swear Loki was more worried about my pregnancy than me” you chuckled.
“So, are you and Loki…” he trailed off and you sat up straight in your chair, eyebrows pulling together.
“Are family. Not that it is any of your business, but he is Aspen’s uncle.” your voice was hard, stubborn as you stared him down, waiting to hear what he would say next.
“[Y/N]...” Bucky began, but you cut him off with a quick raise of your hand as you got to feet.
Your voice was a deep growl as you spoke, “No, Bucky. You don’t get to come here and judge who I spend my time with, do you understand me? Thor was there, holding my hand when Aspen came into this world. He swears I broke his hand, but he stayed the entire time. When he had to leave to go check on you lot, Loki let me cry and sleep on his shoulder. Before you go assuming things? Maybe you should shut up and look at the situation. Good night.”