It was a late Sunday evening and Tony and Peter had been at a local shopping centre scouting for parts for a new project. They elected to go at that time in hopes they’d encounter less members of the general public; and it had worked, for the most part. The pair managed to avoid paparazzi thus far thanks to Happy keeping a watchful eye outside of the mall for any news vans. Luckily most of the people who did recognise Tony through his rudimentary disguise were polite enough to leave the pair alone; a few pictures surfaced on twitter but Tony’s PR crew were quick to have them taken down.
All in all it had been a successful outing. They’d picked up all the parts they needed as well as a few that inspired some future projects. Tony had even managed to convince Peter to let him buy a new phone- it was a fight but still, usually Peter would have fought him tooth and nail for a week. But now the mall would be closing soon and Tony had forgotten that it was near a certain little spider’s bedtime. The kid had been yawning for over an hour now and was starting to drag his feet, so Tony decided it was time to set off.
“Come on kid, time to go.” Tony smiled, wrapping an arm around the boy’s shoulders when he checked no one was around to see the affectionate display. They started making their way back to the parking lot but Tony paused; gesturing to the side of them. “You need to go to the bathroom before we leave?”
“Uhhhm-“ Peter thought for a moment, doing the little wiggly hip thing he did when he was trying to manually check if his bladder needed to be emptied; which Tony found adorable. The kid was so easily distracted he’d often forget his own bodily functions; but Tony already knew the answer. He’d seen the kid shifting on his feet in the check out line a few minutes before. After a second of jiggling Peter nodded. “Yeah.”
“Go on, I’ll wait here.” Tony nodded to the hallway just to the left of them, that lead to the public restrooms. Usually Tony would have followed and waited right outside the door but as they were in a public space he didn’t want to draw any suspicion. If someone spotted Tony Stark following a teenager into the bathroom, it might look a little weird.
That being said he was more concerned about Peter being safe, and had the mall been busy he would’ve gone with him; knowing that’s where they were their most vulnerable. Even if Peter could defend himself, a lot could happen and he’d much prefer if the kid didn’t get abducted..again.
So Tony stood watch, making sure no one went down the corridor after his kid and he was expecting to be waiting there for a minute or so; not thirty seconds.
“Nevermind.” Peter sighed quietly as he walked back, sticking his hands in his hoodie pocket. Apparently the prospect of using the bathroom had made his bladder pipe up quite a bit, so having that taken away had made the teen realise just how much soda he’d drank at lunch.
“Nevermind?” Tony questioned sceptically. That wasn’t enough time for the kid to get there and back; let alone to actually pee and wash his hands. “Did you go?”
Peter just shrugged and started to walk away, towards the exit. “It’s okay, I can hold it.”
But Tony didn't budge. It was clear the teen was trying to usher him away so that they could leave and get him to another bathroom quicker; but Tony was more interested in why the boy wasn’t using the ones that were readily available to him.
“Were all the stalls taken?” He asked gently. There weren’t that many people around but if the only receptacle available was a urinal Tony knew Peter wouldn’t be relieving himself any time soon.
“Uh uh. The boys are closed.” Peter mumbled, dragging his sneaker across the ground and watching himself do so. Because anything was more interesting than making eye contact with his mentor.
Ah of course. Logically the mall would use a Sunday evening to do repairs. And of course it would be the day Tony took Mr. Tiny Bladder to the mall.
“Then go in the women’s.” Tony said simply.
Peter looked up at the man, wide eyed like he’d just threatened to kick a dog. “I-I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“That- that’s illegal Mr. Stark!”
“No it’s not, not if there’s no other available restroom. Besides, you’re a minor and for all intents and purposes you have a medical condition; you have to go, so you’re going.” Tony said firmly. He knew there were other bathrooms in the building and they could take a detour if need be; but he was trying to make a point. He wanted to make sure in the future should he not be there and the kid was in the same situation, that he’d be able to make himself comfortable. What if it was an emergency? What if Peter was desperate and he ran into this hurdle? The kid struggled enough to use the men’s- sorry- the boy’s room, as Peter still called it (cute), if the situation wasn’t just right; i.e. no other people, it was clean and a stall was available. That was already a hard list of criteria to meet when using a public bathroom. Tony wanted to know his kid would have the confidence to use any available restroom.
The kid, however, was clearly not confident. In fact he looked quite the opposite, he looked petrified. “Peter you’re a kid, no one is gonna say anything-“
“It’s not right Mr. Stark! I- I can what if someone walks in and I and I-“
“Use your superhearing. I’ll watch the door. Go in while it’s empty and wait until it’s empty to come out- if anyone kicks up a fuss I can pull the Tony Stark card or simply explain you’re a child with bad kidneys now go. Before you have an accident.”
“I’m not going to have an accident.” Peter hissed through his teeth, clearly offended despite the fact that he was literally two minutes away from doing just that. “Can we just go.”
“Right. Okay.” Tony said shortly and started walking briskly away from his ward, quicker than Peter was initially able to keep up with. Instead of leading the boy out to the car like Peter had been hoping for, he walked right down into the corridor, pushing the kid along in front of him. “You wanna go? Let’s go.”
That wasn’t what Peter meant and he tried to protest; but he couldn’t exactly yell at the man in public without drawing attention- and that’s the last thing he wanted. “B-But Tony I-“
“No butts. Unless you gotta do that too, in which case I don’t mind waiting-“
“Ugh! Shut up!” Peter huffed, shrugging the man's hands off of him. “Quit shovin’ me!”
“Then go potty.” Tony smirked at the kid’s reddening face. There was no harm in teasing him when the boy was in no immediate danger of embarrassing himself. The shop floor was practically empty. “Now listen out- anyone in there?”
“N-no.” Peter mumbled shuffling on his feet.
“Then go.” Tony said lowly before pushing the boy through the door.
“But-“
“Go.”
The door swung shut and Peter was alone inside the women’s restroom; a place he hadn’t been since he was too young to go to the bathroom in public by himself and had to go in with May. Good god- it was so clean. He’d heard all the jokes about the difference between the two gendered spaces but he realised in that moment that it wasn’t just a joke. Wow. Had he not been so near a panic attack by merely stepping foot in there, he may have considered frequenting the women’s restroom more often.
Shaking his head at the thought Peter’s body reminded him why he was there in the first place; sending a rippling wave of desperation coursing through him and he rushed inside one of the open stalls. Quickly undoing his pants in a mad blur Peter readied himself in front of the toilet to- well, you know, use it.
And he waited for his body to relax.
But it didn’t.
Crap. He knew this was going to happen. Despite a bladder full of urine pulsing in his abdomen, that was screaming to get out, all of his muscles clenched; and it hurt. It was positively torturous to have to stand in front of the toilet but not be able to use it.
He tried for a minute or so to push it out, even going as far to press on his painfully full tummy but all that did was make it hurt more. He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t relax. The usual trick he used of closing his eyes and pretending he was at home didn’t work. Even humming to himself didn’t work. It was so deafeningly silent in the room and while that usually would’ve been a good thing, signifying to him that he was fully alone, right now it wasn’t. If anyone else was to enter the restroom- if a girl was to enter the restroom- it would be very obvious from the sound alone that there was a boy in the bathroom.
He couldn’t do it. It hurt too bad- Mr. Stark was just going to have to take him home. Or to the 7/11 down the street. Or into an alley so he could go behind a dumpster- wherever. They just had to leave now or he wasn’t going to make it out of the building.
Peter sulked out of the bathroom, hands shoved deep in his pocket though wasn’t holding onto his phone. He kept his head down, not even glancing up at Tony because he knew the man would question him again.
“Nope.” Peter said under his breath as he went to move past him.
“Nope?” Tony quirked an eyebrow questioningly, not that Peter could see that. He was too busy staring at the floor.
“Uh uh.” Tony sighed and stuck an arm out, stopping the boy from walking past.
“Tony please. We gotta go.” Peter hissed urgently, bouncing on the spot and twisting his legs together. He had to keep moving lest some urine leak out- and he cursed his stupid body for not letting anything leak out thirty seconds ago when he was in the stall.
“No. You’ve gotta go. Come on.” Tony said sternly as he pushed Peter once again, this time with a lot more force.
“What’re you doing?” Peter cried incredulously as Tony pushed them both inside the women’s restroom.
“Going to the bathroom. Obviously.” Tony deadpanned. He knew what the issue was, he’d expected it, hence why he already had a plan in place. “I’m gonna wash my hands while you do what you gotta do.”
“Tony this is so weird.” Peter whined as he crossed his legs and pressed his hand deeper into his crotch.
“It’ll be even weirder if you piss your pants inside of a bathroom.” Tony chuckled. “Go on.”
“I’m not doing it! That’s just so-“
Tony rolled his eyes and moved over to the sink, pushing the button that set of the faucets; knowing the kid wouldn’t be able to stick around to argue with him. The second the hiss of the tap filled the room Peter let out a whine and dashed back into the same stall he’d been in earlier.
“You’re mean!”
“Yeah I’m the worst.” Tony smirked.
Thank god, thank god, Tony’s plan worked. Not only did the ambient noise drown out all the anxious thoughts in Peter’s mind, the fact that it was the sound of rushing water practically forced his bladder to release. He was finally able to go without the painful sensation of his bladder locking up on him, and it was blissful.
That was until halfway through one of the best pees of his young life Peter heard the door creak open. Oh fuck-
“Oh.” It was a woman’s voice and she was clearly surprised to see- well, Tony fucking Stark in the women’s restroom.
But of course Tony was as cool as ever. “Excuse me ma’am. The men’s was out of order and it was a bit of an emergency.”
“Oh no its- it’s fine. No harm done.” The lady sounded flustered, but Peter surmised that was more likely due to who Tony was as opposed to the fact he was in the wrong restroom. Thankfully she didn’t scream or accuse the man of being some kind of pervert, which Peter was very grateful for. “We’ve all been there.”
He was also grateful that his tired kegel muscles were too overworked to clench up on him again, and he was able to continue peeing without another dose of searing pain. Even when the woman entered the stall next to him Peter managed to finish emptying his bladder; and he quickly rushed out to wash his hands before the lady re-emerged in hopes of her not knowing he was there.
“All good, kiddo?” Tony asked, a little louder than what was necessary, much to Peter’s embarrassment.
“Mhm.” Peter hummed quietly, trying to make his voice sound a little higher than usual in an attempt to masc his gender.
Which Tony found hysterical. “You know you don’t have to do that. You sound like a girl anyway.”
“Hey!”
“Come on.” Tony laughed as he held the door open for Peter; who stormed through it.