Tony was more selfish than Thanos
No one is questioning that Thanos did more damage, but I can understand where the person who suggested this is coming from. It has to do with intent. Thanos was wrong to do all of the harm he committed, but he was not selfish about its application. He didn't know who was going to be Snapped and who wasn't. Tony on the other hand held the universe hostage. Instead of reversing the Snap--which would have saved people all the deaths, trauma, and suffering in the wake of it--he only agreed to share his technology if he could keep his perfect lakeside life.
***
Tony shook his head. He opened his eyes and saw a rocky shoreline stretching in either direction. A purple sea rushed towards him.
A voice behind Tony said, “So it seems we meet again.”
Tony turned and was shocked to see Thanos standing on the shore. He asked, “Where is this and why the hell are we here?”
Thanos shrugged and said, “I don't know. All I can tell you is I have been here since the Asgardian struck me with his axe. I don't know how much time has passed, but I know there is nothing but this and it never changes."
Tony shook his head and said, “No, that doesn’t make sense. I did everything RIGHT.”
Thanos said, “You can believe that if you wish. I only tell you what I know.”
Suddenly a figure floated before them. It wore a black cloak with a hood. When the hood fell back, a man with blistering red skin stared at them. He said, “I trust you are comfortable.”
Tony crossed his arms and said, “No way in hell! Now what's going on here, Lobster Face?”
The floating man said, “I was once called Johann Schmidt. I was later known as the Red Skull. Later the Guardian of the Soul Stone. As to what is going on here--nothing.”
Thanos stepped forward and said, “Explain.”
The guardian said, “This is the resting place for those whose actions produce harm on a universal scale.”
He continued, “You wanted the universe to bow to your vision, regardless of how its participants may react. You died for that privilege. This is where you contemplate those actions and their effects.”
Thanos said, “I know what I did. I tried to save the universe from its own destruction.”
Tony said, “I fixed what he broke.”
The figure looked at Tony and frowned. He asked, “By what action do you make that claim? You were not the one who returned the Snapped. The one called Banner summoned the missing back to life--and suffered the consequences.You denied him the chance to remake the universe as it was. THAT would have fixed the damage. Instead, you forced a condition on your help--one that did NOT fix all that was broken, but instead pushed the missing back upon planets unready for their return. Upon survivors weighed down by the tragedies of pointless deaths and depravation in the wake of the Snap.”
Tony said, “Well I stopped it from happening again. You’re saying what I did doesn’t count?”
The guardian said, “I am not your judge. I am simply the one who tells you of your fate.”
Thanos asked, “Then who decided that fate?”
The guardian looked at Thanos and replied, “The ones you used to inflict your will upon the universe.”
Then he looked at Tony and continued, “The ones you refused to allow to set things truly right.”
The guardian disappeared. Thanos and Tony looked at each other.