It was 1940 and a nineteen year old Steve Rogers had enlisted in the army so he could be with his best friend, James Barnes. Though he certainly had the right attitude, Steve wasn’t exactly built to be a soldier; he was small, relatively weak and had the immune system of a newborn infant. He was constantly sick and therefore constantly teased by his other troop members- teased was an understatement, he was downright bullied.
But not when Bucky was around. Anytime Bucky heard anyone say a word out of line to Steve he would put an immediate stop to it, just like he always had since they were little kids; but as much as Steve appreciated it and loved him for it, it was disastrous for his self esteem. Not only was he a target due to his stature and health, but he didn’t even have the strength to stick up for himself. He had tried to gently ask Bucky to tone down his protectiveness but the other man either didn’t understand or didn’t care- in his mind he was doing the right thing.
So when his platoon were given the weekend off after a month long intense training session (intense for some more than others) the opportunity for Steve to prove himself without Bucky's intervention arose. The twelve men who were camped out in tent B17 were all exhausted and in need of a well deserved break; a break that didn’t come very often, not in the army and certainly not in their current political climate. It was the middle of July and the weather was insanely hot, hitting 85 degrees on their cooler days and well into the hundreds on their hottest.
Today was one of their hottest, being 105 and the young men were all too hot to function. They were all laying on their cots trying desperately not to exert any more energy than necessary in fear it would raise their body temperature even more. Steve was suffering something fierce, he’d been sweating more out than he was able to drink and was severely dehydrated; he’d spent the majority of the morning fighting the dizziness and nausea, as Bucky desperately tried to deter him from getting heat stroke by force feeding him copious amounts of water.
“Are you sure I don’t need to get you to the medic tent?” Bucky grimaced as he pressed a palm to Steve’s forehead for the fortieth time that morning.
Steve huffed and slapped his hand away. “No for the last time no. I’m fine, Buck, quit fussing over me.”
“I just wanna make sure you’re okay, don’t get snappy with me.” Bucky rolled his eyes; he was perfectly used to Steve throwing a tantrum when he got embarrassed in front of the troops, so he didn’t care.
“I said I’m fine.” Steve grumbled through gritted teeth, though he softened his tone considerably. Bucky knew how much Steve appreciated the care and comfort he constantly provided, he appreciated it more than anything; but he didn’t appreciate the giggles and stares and the jabs he’d receive from the other privates in their tent when they witnessed those tender moments. The constant comments on his sexuality were enough to drive him crazy, so he really didn’t want Bucky showing him so much affection or being so attentive...at least in front of them. In private, Steve was more than happy to have Bucky baby him, just not right now.
“I’m gonna get you some more water, okay? I’ll be right back.” Bucky said gently, as he rose from where he was seated at the edge of Steve’s cot to go refill his canteen from the pump outside.
Now Steve was left alone, and unable to focus on his book, his attention was drawn to the conversation a few of the other men were having on the other side of the tent.
“Yeah, it’s only two miles that way, twenty minute walk tops.”
“I don’t know, I don’t wanna go out with the sun blazing like that, I’d rather stick to the shade.”
“The water will cool you off much quicker.”
Steve listened intently, understanding what the discussion was about without hearing the first part. The other men were talking about the quarry located a ways down the road from them. They’d all seen it on their way in and fantasised about going in the water, anything to escape the heat.
They inevitably all agreed to partake in the small trek and go diving off the cliff into the water; which sounded like great, ridiculously dangerous, fun. “You coming Rogers?”
Steve blinked in surprise. The other recruits barely so much as looked in his direction when they weren’t ridiculing him, save for a few of the nicer ones; the fact that he was being invited to join them on a leisure activity was rather..exciting- which he found unbelievably embarrassing. He knew he shouldn’t care so much; and even if he wanted to he couldn’t go. He’d only get sick, last time he and Bucky went swimming he ended up with an ear infection that left him laid up for days.
So Steve recovered from his shock quickly and nonchalantly shook his head. “No I think I’ll-“
“Nah he ain’t gonna come. Look at him- he wouldn’t even hit the water- he’d float down like a feather.” One of the guys quipped, and the rest laughed along. “He’d have to ask his boyfriend if you could come anyway, right Rogers? Can’t have Barnes worrying where you ran off to, or daddy might get mad-“
“I don’t need his permission.” Steve snapped. Usually he didn’t rise to it but he was getting sick of the constant teasing. A man can only take so much and this was Steve’s breaking point; weeks he’d been trying to prove himself worthy of being there, despite being half their size he kept up with the best of them but still they insisted on constantly berating him- usually for things he couldn’t control such as his height, weight, immune system and..nocturnal issues. But Steve could have handled all of that, all of it, if they didn’t bring Bucky into it. But no, they had to go and bad mouth him- now Steve was pissed. And he had something to prove. “I’m coming.”
“That’s the spirit!” The other private, Peterson, cheered Steve on as he stood up and began rummaging through his bunk for a towel and a spare pair of shorts. “Nice to see you’ve finally grown some balls, Rogers.”
But the jokes cut short and everyone shut their mouths when Bucky came back into the tent; canteen in hand. He looked ammusey around the small cloth-walled room to see everyone rushing around. “What’d I miss- hey, where’re you goin’?”
Bucky has turned to Steve just in time to see the smaller man changing. “Cliff diving.”
“No the hell you ain’t- Stevie what about your chest? We can’t have you getting another infection so soon the doctor said that-“
One of the other men was brave enough to chime in: “Yeah Stevie don’t want you getting sick again, poor wittle guy-“
“Shut up, Davis.” Bucky growled menacingly, making the other man now his head slightly.
“No you shut up, Barnes.” Steve said pointedly. Using his last name making Bucky's face fall and he immediately felt a stab of guilt; but he was too riled up to take it back. He’d told Bucky countless times not to call him Stevie in front of anyone else- so many times. He had enough nicknames mocking him, he didn’t need to add that personal one to the list. And he didn’t need to be labelled as a pansy either by chickening out of the diving deal; if that was one thing they could never pick on, it was his bravery and willing to try. “I’m going.”
But instead of rising to Steve’s tantrum, Bucky just sighed and sat back down on his bunk. “Fine. Don’t come crying to me when you get pneumonia. You can clean your own puke next time.”
Steve elected not to say anything, instead he just scowled at him as he jogged to keep up with the rest of the men. He’d apologise later, he conceded, knowing neither of them would stay mad at one another for long; and despite his words even if he did get sick from the water Bucky would nurse him back to health, just like he always did. Of course, in the back of Steve’s mind he was wary of trusting the other troops who had relentlessly teased him for the past few months; them inviting him could’ve been another ploy to tease him, especially since Bucky elected not to go with them. But Steve tried to brush that off, the bullying hadn’t been preemptive or systematic up until that point- just people being general dicks to him.
And either way, it was so hot. Steve would be wiling to endure some teasing if it meant he could cool off.
The walk to the quarry was surprisingly pleasant. Though Steve didn’t exactly join in on the various conversations being held amongst the group, he wasn’t completely segregated either; and he wasn’t subject to any mean spirited comments, which was a welcome change. Steve even found himself enjoying the company as opposed to worrying the entire time; though the anxiety came when they were nearing the cliff.
On the coach on the way into their campsite Steve had vastly underestimated just how high the cliff face was. But now he was standing there, near to the edge..he was feeling considerably less confident than when he agreed to come along.
Steve had never considered himself to have a fear of heights. He had his pilot's license for crying out loud- but flying in a plane, strapped into a solid aircraft with a parachute; was vastly different to free falling through the air into stagnant water. This wasn’t safe at all; jumping from fifty feet into water that could’ve been twice as deep- and the bank of the lake jutted out pretty far, what if they couldn’t even clear the jump? They may not even hit the water.
“I ain’t jumping from up here.” Someone said from the back of the group, and Steve breathed a sigh of relief; he didn’t want to be the one to say it, but he was glad someone else was mirroring his concerns.
“Nah we’ll jump off of that ledge there.” Private Jones pointed to a dip in the cliffs surface- that was still at least thirty feet away from the face of the water. Still a considerable drop if they misjudged the jump and ended up falling onto the piles of rocks below.
“I don’t know about this..” Steve muttered quietly under his breath, he didn’t intend for anyone to hear him.
But someone did hear him, Davis did; and the larger man immediately barged shoulders with Steve, a lot harder than was necessary to get his attention. “Don’t be a sissy Rogers, it ain’t that high.”
“I ain’t sissy I just-“
“You just, just just just- What Rogers? You need Barnes to hold your hand again?” Davis smirked cruelly. Steve felt his face flame red; he knew exactly what Davis was referring to. It wasn’t just another homophobic joke, the other recruit had caught Bucky and Steve holding hands when they were walking back from a stroll late one evening. The other man had been hinting at it constantly ever since.
Steve clenched his jaw and fought the urge to push the other man off the edge of the cliff but he didn’t; mostly because the other man gave him a cocky grin before jumping off voluntarily.
And it didn’t take long for the other men to follow suit. One by one the other nine guys threw themselves from the cliff, swan diving and cannonballing into the lake below.
Steve went to follow along but he hesitated. As soon as he peered over the edge he felt his stomach flip and his knees knocked together. Despite the others having made it into the water completely safe, he felt an innate, primal fear deep in his gut that left him in a cold sweat despite the scorching sun.
“Come on Rogers!”
“I knew he’d chicken out- look at him he’s shaking!”
Steve hadn’t felt it, but he was absolutely trembling. He tried to Will his legs to move, but they refused. He was complete frozen as blood rushed in his ears and his vision blurred, dizzying vertigo taking hold quicker than he ever thought possible.
“You can do it Steve!” Private Parker called, the only voice yelling that was actually being encouraging as opposed to derogatory.
“Don’t be a baby Rogers, what’s wrong with you?! It’s just water!”
“Yeah it’s just-“
“Oh my god, oh my god guys look! Look!” Private Reynolds’ gasped, slapping his neighbouring soldier in the chest as he pointed up at the blond on the ledge.
“Is he-“
“He’s fucking pissing himself!” Private Jackman laughed meanly.
Steve looked down. He hadn’t even realised that he had to go- but he watched his grey shorts darken and a trail of urine run down both of his thighs and snake around his calves; the urine that didn’t travel down his legs fell through the wide leg holes on his shorts or hissed through the thin fabric, leading to it falling visibly between his legs and splashing on the dry grass between his feet.
No no no, this wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening not again- not in front of everyone.
But it was, he could hear the rest of the guys laughing from the water below. Steve backed away from the edge out of view of them and ran as fast as he could back to camp. The jeers and laughter behind him rang in his ears even as he made it all the way out of the quarry; their voice. He grabbed his clothes, stripped quickly and showered, changing back into his uniform before retreating back to his tent; but of course someone was waiting for him. And that someone immediately noticed Steve’s tear streaked face.
Bucky stood from where he was seated on one of the cots and rushed to meet him as he stumbled inside. “Stevie? Steve, what’s wrong-“
“It happened again!” Steve sobbed. Now that he and Bucky were fully alone he had no qualms letting his walls down and rushing to the other man for comfort; who accepted Steve’s hug with equal enthusiasm.
Bucky didn’t need to ask what Steve meant, he already knew. He’d seen Steve in this state enough times before. He was more concerned about who else knew. “Did you make it back here or-“
“N-no! Everyone saw, Buck, everyone!” Steve cried rubbing angrily at his face. He couldn’t believe this was happening, the whole point of the endeavour was to prove to himself and the others than he wasn’t a pansy but he’d just gone and- and wet himself in front of everyone. Out of fear no less. He was never going to live this down, never.
“Oh honey.” Bucky sighed sadly, wrapping his arms tighter around Steve’s shoulders protectively. Usually he would’ve said I told you so, but now wasn’t the time. “What did they say?”
“What do you think?” Steve sniffled bitterly, pressing his face into Bucky's chest; but the brunette made a point of lifting his chin so he had to face him.
“What. Did they say.” Bucky asked, this time his voice dropping low and cold; in a way that made Steve’s spine tingle. Not like that- well sometimes- but no, Steve knew that tone. He knew Bucky was furious.
“Buck, please don’t say anything it’s just gonna make it worse-“
“I’m not going to say anything.” Bucky growled, his fists clenching by his sides. Without a moment’s hesitation, the dark haired man moved to exit the tent but Steve attempted to block him.
“Buck please.” Steve begged. “This time please just leave it- I don’t want you getting in trouble for another fight-“
“That’s my prerogative.” Bucky snapped but then he looked at Steve’s face; so sad and pleading. “Fine. But if they say one thing I’m breaking jaws-“
“Okay okay just- just don’t go out looking for trouble.”
But Bucky didn’t need to go out looking for anything. A few hours later just as the sun was starting to set, the rest of their platoon made their way back to the tent in time for dinner; and that was when the trouble started. A few people gave Steve polite nods and sympathetic looks, but the rest just snickered amongst themselves and pointed at him when they thought Bucky wasn’t looking.
See, everyone in tent B17 were rather..scared of James Barnes. He wasn’t outwardly aggressive, he didn’t go around picking on people; in an everyday context he was courteous and polite, generally mild mannered and helpful, but when he got angry- oh boy when he got angry. Bucky was a force to be reckoned with; luckily it took a lot to get him angry but that evening a certain comment was enough to tip him over the edge.
Bucky had stepped away for a second to grab a drink for himself and Steve, so Private Johnson thought it was safe to make a snidey comment to Steve about restricting his fluid in take before bed.
“You don’t wanna have another little accident so you Rogers-“
“What the fuck did you just say?” Bucky said quietly as he appeared behind where Johnson was sitting. All conversation went silent and the air grew still and thick with tension.
Johnson went wide eyed and backed off of his chair, standing up and taking a few steps backwards. “U-uh nothing-“
“I said what the fuck did you just say?” Bucky asked louder, in a strained faux friendly tone; that he spat through gritted teeth, edging closer to the man who was now trembling- not unlike Steve had been standing on the cliff.
“I didn’t mean it Barnes it was just a joke- URCK-“ Johnson’s attempt at defending himself was cut short as Bucky grabbed him by the throat and pinned him up against a nearby tree.
“Yeah? You think that’s funny? This just be fucking hilarious then, huh?” Bucky growled menacingly as he used the fist he didn’t have clenched around the other man’s throat to punch him repeatedly in the abdomen. He did so until a dark stain formed on the crotch of Johnson’s pants, trailed down his legs and puddled beneath his feet that were elevated half a foot off the ground. Only once the man started sobbing both in pain and embarrassment did Bucky let go of him, leaving the man in a crumpled heap on the floor; where he curled up in the fetal position. Bucky smiles coldly and crouched down to whisper in the man’s ear. “Pick on Rogers again and you’ll be pissing blood next time.”
He then turned around to stare menacingly at the rest of the platoon. “And if anyone else would like to say something, be my guest. I’ve been meaning to practise my uppercuts.”
Bucky then proceeded to step over the crying man, casually dusting his hands off on his T-shirt; before he smiled and walked back over to Steve. “Sorry I dropped the beer, fancy a walk with me?”
Steve nodded, though he declined Bucky’s hand to help him up from his seat. The pair then walked back towards the bunk house to grab more drinks- Steve was just happy that Bucky hadn’t smashed the bottles on anyone’s head.
“Thanks Buck..” Steve said dejectedly, hanging his head as they walked.
“It’s alright, Stevie.” Bucky smiled softly. He knew Steve was upset for a multitude of reasons that day; there was no need to discuss them outloud.
“I hate that you have to do that..” Steve sighed sadly, hanging his head. Just like every time Bucky has to sort something out for him he was beyond humiliated; it wasn’t exactly a confidence boost to have your boyfriend having to protect you all the time. “I wish I wasn’t so..so..”
“Awesome?” Bucky interjected before Steve could say anything derogatory about himself.
Steve tutted and rolled his eyes. “No-“
“Smart?” Bucky raised his eyebrows.
“Bucky-“
“Devilishly handsome?” The brunette grinned as Steve playfully slapped him.
“Will you stop!”
“Hey, I meant me, but I guess you ain’t so bad either.”
“Ugh!” Steve shook his head and wiped his face, sniffling and blinking away the last of his tears. “You’re impossible.”
“Made you laugh.” Bucky chuckled softly, a triumphant look crossing his face as he wrapped an arm around Steve’s waist.
“Bucky, no.” Steve blushed and put a hand on Bucky’s chest, forcing space between them.
“Babe, no ones around.” Bucky shrugged, figuring Steve was paranoid about being caught like he usually was.
“No it’s not that..”
“What?” Bucky pulled away and looked Steve up and down; suddenly worried he’d made him uncomfortable. “What's wrong?”
Steve just flashed him a sheepish grin, shuffling his feet slightly and looking between Bucky’s face and the bushes lining the path they were on.
“Again? Already?”
“Don’t say it like that! You’re the one who’s been force feeding me water! It’s not my fault I’m small!” Steve cried defensively.
“You ain’t small where it counts though, are ya tiger?” Bucky winked, deliberately emphasising his slight southern drawl in a way he knew made Steve squirm; relishing in how red Steve’s face immediately went.
“James Barnes!”