For most people at Hogwarts, Regulus Black was cold.
For most people at Hogwarts, Regulus Black was a fanatical blood purist, he hated Muggle-borns and was loyal to his family.
For most people at Hogwarts, Regulus Black was a Death Eater.
For most people at Hogwarts, Regulus Black was emotionless.
For most people at Hogwarts, Regulus Black was evil.
For all the Slytherin House who would have attended even once at a party... Regulus Black was a disaster when drunk.
He would jump on a table, sing songs like "Twin size matress", "The Exit", "Family Line" and "Jolene" at the top of his lungs, and no one could bring him down.
At first, it had been very surprising for his comrades who surely weren't used to seeing him in this state. But soon they got used to it and you rarely saw a Slytherin party without a drunk Regulus.
How had this information not spread throughout Hogwarts ?
Well, Slytherin parties were very selective and only a select few from other houses were allowed to attend.
Among them, Pandora Trelawney, because she was Regulus' best friend, Remus Lupin, because he carried the weight of all of Hogwarts' drug business on his little finger, and Lily Evans, because she was well-liked throughout the school for her kindness, and, contrary to common rumors only a few Slytherins like Snape, Mulciber, or Avery were full-blooded supremacists.
Of course, the Slytherins could have revealed everything by whispering in the ear of their comrades, but, contrary to what the other houses might say, Slytherins were very united and would hate for any of them to be attacked or discriminated against for something that happened among the other Slytherins.
What happened in their house stayed in their house.
This situation could have continued like this, with no one but the Slytherin students knowing what was going on, other than the few guests who had sworn not to report anything to the others, but of course it doesn't work that way.
Why ?
Simply because Slytherin organized the biggest party in a decade, and that all of Hogwarts was invited.
Even loud Gryffindors.
★★★
The party started an hour earlier for the regulars, meaning the Slytherins themselves. There was plenty of time in Regulus for Barty to immediately drag him to the bottles of fire whiskey brought in by their main supplier, Xenophilius Lovegood, Pandora's boyfriend.
Regulus had worn a black shirt rolled up at the level of the forearms, as well as wide trousers of the same color. A dozen rings sparkled on his fingers, and he had left his eyebrow piercing and his silver earrings visible.
Barty had given him absolutely no warning that the party would house the entirety of Hogwarts, otherwise he surely wouldn't have gone - which is entirely untrue, he can't resist the lure of a good party -. He had just taken a single drink, nodded politely to Remus, who was waiting for someone - he didn't yet know it was his brother and his friends - near the entrance, said hello to Lily, who was charming the glasses to keep students under fifth years from drinking, and had a little chat with Xeno-i-don't-really-know-what.
Lily certainly liked parties, maybe not as much as Regulus but still, but she was still very responsible, and she was often the one who ended up in charge of chasing students too drunk to walk straight—in other words, Regulus—out of the common room.
Dorcas had snuck off to talk to McKinnon, that blonde Quidditch player from Gryffindor she had been in love with since their fourth year.
Then, Barty put a sound on the magic speaker and Regulus knew the lyrics, so when his friend - always the source of bad ideas - won in an improvised karaoke, he could not resist more than that and lent himself to the game.
How he ended up drunk stand on a table, that was the question.
★★★
James was finishing getting ready when Sirius said burst into the bathroom, hand in hair and a worried look plastered on his face.
- Prongs, tell me honnestly. Do I look good ? My hairs aren't-
James sighed and answered him kindly, as if he hadn't done that six times in four minutes.
- Pads, you're just perfect. And you know Moony is only going to look at you, he added with a wink.
- Well, I don't trust those bloody Slytherins for this party, Sirius growled. What if it was a trap ? Moony never wanted to tell us anything about those parties. What if they had kidnapped him ?
- Relax, Pads. We're going to go to this party, we're going to see what happens, and everything is going to be fine. And if that doesn't work, I have a manure bomb or two hand !
- James, I tell you this very seriously - and I don't mean the joke with my name - if I wasn't in love with Moony I'd marry you.
- Oh, I'm flattered, but I'm still waiting for my prince charming who will come and sing me a song full of love and who will kiss me in front of all of Hogwarts without giving him time to breathe.
- Come on guys, stop acting like an old married couple or I swear I'm gonna tell Moony.
Peter appeared in the doorway, a fake annoyed look on his face.
- I'm so sorry Pete, begged James. You're the only one man in my life, I promise you !! Please, believe me, my love !!
- I swear you two are stupids, I'm going to join Sybill in front of their common room, we meet afterwards.
Peter started heading for the door, but he stopped after a few steps and turned back to his friends.
- And, James. Be careful what you wish for. Your requests may well become real.
And he fled without waiting for an answer.
★★★
When Sirius and James arrived at the Slytherin dormitory, where the party was taking place, Peter was nowhere in sight. He must have left with Sybill, his new girlfriend.
Remus greeted them with a pat on the back, and James couldn't help but notice the look he gave Sirius. He sneered under his breath thinking that Sirius was probably drooling inwardly at Moony's appearance. It was not for nothing that people called him "The Casanova of Gryffindor"...
- Be careful, the latter warns them. Slytherin parties can get... intense at times, especially when the lead singer - half elected by his comrades, half by circumstances - is stuffed. But I'm sure you will find that... Pretty funny. Go ahead, enter. Sirius and James exchanged troubled looks before following him behind an - ironically - red tapestry, which presumably led to the entrance to the common room. Once inside, the first thing they noticed was the world. There were so many people present, as far as the eye could see, that James couldn't even make out his Griffindor comrades.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw Lily kissing Mary in the back of the room, and headed for the drinks first, accompanied by Sirius and Remus. He paused for a second to listen to the song that was currently playing. The lead singer, as his friend called him, was really good. He had a haunting, inviting voice, and James immediately suggested to Sirius, after filling his glass with some weird substance, that they go take a look at the center of the room, where the singing and all the commotion was coming from.
Remus tried unsuccessfully to hide an amused smile and replied :
- Sure, why not ? But remember, don't overeact here.
- Of course mom, says James, only half listening, as Sirius answered :
- No promises, Moony ! with a wink.
As they approached, the scene began to become clearer. The people around were either shocked, or hilarious, or speachless.
What was going on ?
They arrived at what seemed to be the center of general attention and everyone was shocked. Remus burst into uncontrollable laughter, James' breath hitched and Sirius dropped his drink.
There, standing on a table, straight ahead of them, Regulus Arcturus Black, shirtless, Muggle microphone in hand and bottle in the other, screaming the lyrics to an ABBA song in a duet with Barty Crouch Jr.
The noise around James died away, as he stared at perfection incarnate, right in front of him. Regulus' skin shone beautifully, dancing with the changing lights, his hands clutching the mic like his life depended on it. He wore makeup that highlighted his gray eyes, and he had silver earrings, and a piercing- Regulus Black had a piercing ? His hips swayed to the music and when he threw his head back, exposing his collarbone, James felt like he was going to pass out.
His well-defined abs weren't unattractive, of course, but what made him utterly listless were his lips.
His blood red lips that were singing a song he loved, his lips that looked like they could say all the nicest things in the world, his lips that would go great on his- Wait what ?! No, he was Sirius' brother, he couldn't find him that attractive...
Beside him, he saw Sirius grab the shoulder of a fifth-year Slytherin who was chatting with a friend, not paying much attention to the scene in front of him, as the friend queried looked at the singer as if he were the brightest star in the galaxy - which he surely was -.
- What the fuck is this?
- It's Regulus, man. He does this all the time. He just has to have had a drink or two, and he sings on a table. I think he must have been drinking a lot because he usually doesn't undress totaly.
- Does he do this often ? Sirius asked, panic rising in his voice.
- All the time, at all the parties man. Wait, are you his brother ? Bro, he's so cool.
Sirius turned to Remus as if he was going to vomit.
- Moony, you didn't tell me that my little, innocent little brother did... That !
- Sorry Pads, but I didn't have the right to tell you that. Besides, your little brother is really very attractive. I think half the people here, past the initial shock, are totally in love with him.
- What !? No ! He hates Muggle singers, and anything that's directly or indirectly related to them ! He's a blood purist, a public danger, a fanatic !
- Well, he is best friend with Lily, so I don't think that's true. And he is singing Gimme Gimme Gimme at the top of his lungs, so...
It was true. James moved closer to the table, so he could almost touch Regulus. He began to sing the chorus, followed closely by Barty, and James let himself be absorbed in the music.
- IS THERE A MAN OUT THERE !?
Oh my fucking God he was so pretty.
- SOMEONE TO HEAR MY PRAAAAAAAAAYYYYYEEEEEEEERS !!!!!
He wanted to kiss him so bad.
- GIMME GIMME GIMME A MAN, AFTER MIDNIGHT ! NOT SOMEBODY LEFT ME TROUGHT THE SADOWS AWAY !!
The sound soon ended, but Regulus struck up a new song. Sirius still hadn't gotten used to the idea of his half-naked drunk little brother on a table, so he kept staring at him like he was Satan, or something like that.
And... Oh no. That was bad. Regulus sang in French.
His voice fit the song perfectly, as if it was made for him, and James approached again, instinctively. His voice almost rippled, wrapped itself around James and drew him in with unexplained matter.
- Une dernière danse... Je veux m'enfuir, que tout r'commence... Oh ma douce souffrance...
Oh oh. Regulus' eyes had finally settled on James, finally noticing how the other looked at him. He didn't let go of his gaze, as if he were inviting her to join him, to try something.
- J'remue l'ciel, le jour, la nuit... Je danse avec, le vent la, pluie... Un peu d'amour un brin de miel et je danse danse danse danse danse danse danse....
And he moved closer, until he was face to face with James, and the other let him go, bewitched, waiting for something.
He didn't wait long, because, to everyone's surprise in the room, what Sirius later called "an unimaginable slander of a pure and young being defiled by a filthy soul", something that would be remembered for years and something that both concerned would hold deep in their minds forever...
Regulus Black jumped off the table and kissed James Potter.