The kid had been operating as "Spider-Man" for about thirteen months.
He'd been running with Deadpool and Daredevil for six.
#TeamRed popped up on Twitter, and Dom just had to coo and show him that shit, as if he gave a fuck about those two idiots. Yeah. That's right, back off, girl.
She merely gave him that infuriating little smile and took a screen shot.
But anyways.
Six months.
Six months in, and he knew Peter's name, his aunt's name, and which window was his on the brownstone in Queens. He'd hauled that mini-idiot through it enough times, now. But the kid was learning. Slowly, yeah, but he was learning.
He was a quick study. Went to a fancy school, got a fancy scholarship, was on a fancy AcaDec team. Red broke down how to throw a proper punch once and the kid had it. Wade showed him how to pack a wound once and the kid had it. He was gettin' real good at stitches, too.
Peter could not, however, lie to save his life.
And the kid was fucking up to something.
It started when they were all three crouched on a roof in Hell's Kitchen one night. Red was perched at the edge, his ear cocked towards the ground as he listened to something blocks away through that black fabric mass and tuned Wade out.
Wade was in the middle of a rousing story about truth, justice, and the American Way when he noticed Peter staring at him.
Not his zoned out staring, which Wade was well familiar with, but this really intense, zeroed in shit that had Wade trailing off and staring back at him.
"Pete."
Matt and Peter both jerked at Wade's interruption. Peter startled upon getting caught; Matt startled upon hearing Peter's heart jump.
"What're you starin' for?"
"Nothing," he spoke way too quickly and in way too high a pitch for it to be anything but a lie.
Awwwwww.
His lil' baby boy was gettin' all bold and lying to Wade's face.
Adorable!
He'd never been more proud.
Matt's lip curled but Wade interrupted again by standing, rolling his shoulders.
"Aight, Red. You called us here. Lead the way."
Let the kid try and lie. It wasn't hurtin' anyone yet.
"Wade."
Wassup, baby?
Ah, there was that pretty snarl.
"Don't call me that. Peter's up to something."
Duh, Red. He'd been up to something for weeks.
"I don't like it."
Tough shit.
"I'm gonna ask him."
Oh ho. He had to see this.
Peter and Matt were both plastered on the roof, panting heavily, staring up at the sky. Peter reached to tear his mask from his face, blinking up at the stars as he began counting. In two three out two three in two three out two three.
Wade wondered how long until Peter gave up on that little mantra.
"Peter."
The kid lifted his head, making a little noise of question as Matt rolled to his feet. Stalked in a half crouch towards him.
"What is it, DD?"
"You're hiding something," the accusation in his voice was clear. Peter blinked. "You're hiding something," Red repeated, and Peter's expression went hard. Stubborn. His chin jut out, his eyebrows came down.
The baby was getting good and corrupted.
Not like, totally. But there was nothing wrong with a little bit of corruption. Lil baby bit.
"I'm not hiding anything, Double D," Peter spoke resolutely, as if he didn't already know Red could read that shit in his heartbeat.
Red leaned in all close, Peter staring evenly back at where Matt's eyes would be behind the mask.
"Are you lying to me, Peter?"
There was a beat.
"Yes."
Peter smiled as he pushed himself to his feet and brushed off. "But it's a surprise, so you can't know anyways," he dragged his mask back over his face. Red was frozen, shocked at Peter's abrupt honesty.
"Wait-" Matt began, but Peter was already gone.
Wade spent the next seven minutes laughing at Matt's offended expression.
Wade's head hit the roof with a thunk when he saw Spidey swinging their way with two tupperwares tucked securely under his arm.
The woman was sending them food again.
He'd already listened to Red's spiel three times about how they should appreciate the gifts from May Parker. She was just grateful they were (sort of) keeping her nephew safe. But damn. That woman could not cook.
"They are bakery bought," Peter announced when he landed, and then huffed a little at the way Matt and Wade both immediately perked up. "She is not that bad, guys," he scolded as he handed over the two containers, hands on his hips. "She says happy holidays, by the way."
Matt hummed, petting the container while he inhaled along the seam. "Jewish bakery on 13th?" he guessed.
"Yeah," Peter sounded surprised, and then looked pleased. "We've been going for years. I gotta go- I only came to deliver those. May and I are having a movie night."
"Give your aunt my thanks. And happy holidays to her, as well," Matt tipped his head towards Peter as Wade made his own noise of agreement.
"Hell yeah. Tell her she gets one free hit."
"I'll let her know." Oooh who was that with all that sarcasm? "Good night, guys!"
Peter was swinging off moments later, and Wade turned to regard Matt.
"Thought you were gonna interrogate him again."
"Didn't seem right."
Yeah. Fair enough, Red.
It was "Christmas Eve Eve" according to Peter.
And when he crawled over the edge of the roof to join them, he was sans suit.
"What the hell, kid?" Wade glanced around reflexively, on guard. But for now, they didn't seem to have any audience.
"What do you have there, Peter?" Matt asked calmly as he straightened from his crouch to make his way over to Wade.
"Your Christmas presents," Peter gave them both an odd look. A kind of "what the hell else would I be bringing you" look. He set the huge canvas bag at his feet, and pulled out a hastily wrapped, soft-feeling parcel, passing it to Wade before he was back in the bag, pulling out a second, slightly smaller package.
"Before you ask- I didn't buy it. I made it. May helped. I hope they fit," he scuffed his shoe on the ground, Matt frozen.
Frankly, Wade didn't know what the hell to do, either. When he'd noticed Peter was up to something, he'd never imagine it would have been something like this. Not in thirty years would he have guessed Peter was sneaking around to make them Christmas presents. Would never have thought Peter was staring them down to guess at their sizes.
This kid barely knew them. This kid should be afraid of them. This kid's aunt should be lecturing him about making gifts for two grown ass men. This kid should not be wasting his time making them fucking Christmas presents-
Matt recovered first, and Wade was torn from his internal monologue by the tear of wrapping paper. He tipped his head slowly, spreading a hand over the fabric inside with a soft breath of surprise.
Wade tore his own paper, shoving his hand in to feel the knit of the fabric. It was- it was really fucking soft. He could picture Peter in the store, debating for hours over the softest yarn. The easiest thing on Wade's skin and Matt's senses.
"Might be a little off center..." Peter was muttering, shy again as Wade pulled the sweater from the wrapping entirely. Bright pink, a slightly sloppy Hello Kitty in front.
When the hell had Peter wormed his fucking way this close?
"What's mine?"
Red's question was a demand beside him, and Wade looked down to see the soft blue fabric. The white lion on the front.
"You said you sent to Columbia, right?" Peter sounded anxious as Matt tore a glove off to run his full palm over the fabric in surprise.
"You knitted me a sweater?"
"May helped."
The paper crumpled in Wade's hand, and he had a handful of Peter's fluffy hair a second later, the sweater gripped tightly in the other.
"I never should have gotten this fucking close to you."
The threat was clear in his voice. And Peter didn't look afraid. Why wasn't he afraid?
"I know."
Peter's arms came around Wade's middle when he brought him against his chest, sighing. His arm settled around Peter's shoulders, and he patted at his hair.
"Thanks, Spidey."
"Mm!"
Peter ditched him to hug Red instead, Matt looking shocked at the sudden affection, his arms hovering around Peter like he wasn't sure what to do with them. But Peter was patient, and slowly Matt's arms came around him. Loose, unsure. Matt was a shitty hugger. But Peter seemed pleased with the affection regardless, stepping back with a smile.
"I'll see you guys soon. Text me if you need me- I'm going to go spend some time with May."
He was backing towards the edge, his eyes bright, a little shiny. It was.
It was.
It was.
"He thinks we're his family, now."
Peter was gone, and Red sounded unsure. Wary. What were they supposed to do with some random kid that thought they were his brothers now? His uncles? His whatever the fuck Peter thought of them as?
"Wade."
"I know."
Whether they liked it or not, this kid was close to them know. He knew their identities. He knew things that they liked. He knew where Matt got his law degree. He had Foggy Nelson's card, in case of any trouble. He had a free hit for his aunt, from Wade. He went out of his way to pick a fabric that he hoped would be easy against Wade's skin. Easy against Matt's heightened senses.
Peter Parker was Team Red, now. The three of them were Team Red. They had a fucking hash tag on Twitter, for fuck's sake.
They were a team.
They were a family.
A fucked up one, yeah. But a family.
"I know."