Talking Things Out
So he picked up his phone the next day early, sharply taking a big breath, he waited for the man to pick up. His heart dropped when he did, and he did it in an instant, catching him a bit off guard, but he quickly recovered. "I-hey..." he breathed out, tone unsure and just a bit scared. "You said... that if there's something I want to say, I better find the way to say it. I think I'm ready to talk now, if you still want to listen... Steve, I'm sorry.'' He apologised softly. "I, hear me out? Please?"
"I'll meet you at the nearby park, me and Peter are out for a walk." He answered after a pause, if he was talking, Steve would listen, no matter what his wolf thought, he was a human as well.
"Alright!" sighing in relief, Tony already moved to change into something warmer since it was kind of chilly outside. He grabbed two more scarfs for Steve and Peter just in case. Arriving at the park in no time, waiting for them to arrive.
He spotted them over at the climbing frame, there was nobody else around on this early, chilly morning, just them.
"Hey..." he said softly, catching Peter after he lost his balance a bit on one of the bars. "Wow, careful there, buddy!" He laughed, but then frowned when Peter scrunched his nose and moved away. Putting him down, Tony smelled his shirt. He did take a shower before coming. Twice. "Here..." Tony said, not meeting Steve's eyes as he placed the two scarfs in Steve's hands "I-I figured it'd be useful, chilly weather and all."
Steve thanked him and wrapped one scarf round Peter's neck and the other round his own. "Peetee, play for a little bit, we'll be over at the bench if you need us, ok?"
"So, um..." Tony said in a small voice as he sat beside Steve, playing with the material of his clothes, a habit he developed when nervous. He raised his eyes to look at Steve pleadingly, not wanting him to get more upset than he already was. "Steve, I'm gonna tell you what happened, but please don't get mad."
Steve gave a short nod.
Taking a big breath, Tony began. "So... Even before I met you, there was this guy named Justin. Hammer. Justin Hammer. I wasn't interested in him And- And I figured he was harmless, you know? So I let him down gently every time because I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but I think I gave him the wrong idea and came across as playing hard to get, or something..." he explained softly, taking a short break before continuing. "Anyway, he kept coming back, and-and giving me things like flowers and chocolate and stuff, and I just, I tried telling him off every time and turn him down, but he'd never give me the opportunity to. Yesterday was the first time I actually spoke a full sentence without getting interrupted. I tried telling him that I have a boyfriend or had one, and he just won't hear me out. He won't even hear me out now... I didn't want to tell you because I just-I just didn't want to bother you!" Tony told him honestly. It was all he could offer. "Steve, you were so stressed, and you must be stressed even now, and I didn't want to add onto the weight you had on your shoulders. I didn't want to be a burden to you. I didn't want you to get angry, or mad, or upset at-at me like you got in the store. I just wanted you to be happy. I'm sorry I made you upset."
"Tony..." Steve took his hand. "It made me more upset that you were lying to me, than it has for you to tell me the truth. I wouldn't have thought there was anything happening with another person if you hadn't lied... Or at least tried to hide it. The burdens I have on my shoulders are my own, and there are some I can let you help with and some I can't, but I will be as honest as I can with you, all I ask is for the same in return..." He sounded actually relieved? Not what Tony was expecting.
"I'm sorry..." Tony said for what felt like the hundredth time as he brought Steve's hand up to his lips, kissing the man's knuckles softly as he looked at him in the eye "I will. From now on, I will. I promise. No more secrets!" He swore with a small smile, letting go of Steve's hand to stick his own pinky finger out "Swear it on the pinky."
Steve couldn't help but smile and hooked his pinky into Tony's. His boyfriend was absolutely adorable. "Well, I guess you can tell Tal that I know now."
"I will, along with an apology." Tony chuckled, then his face turned serious. "Really, now, though. No more secrets."
"No more secrets." Steve agreed, before looking to his son. He knew it made him a hypocrite. But Tony's secret could have been him cheating. Steve's secret is keeping Tony safe and out of the other world...
Staring at Steve for another moment, Tony sighed, crumbling into the man's chest as he hugged him close, almost afraid Steve would disappear if he didn't. "I don't want to be clingy..." he whispered, snuggling a bit closer to Steve. "But I missed you. A lot."
Steve smiled "I know you're just very affectionate, I know you don't mean it to be clingy. And you're not, not really. I just... I need my own space as well, and as I've said before... I need to be able to look after my own son, and while I appreciate you trying to help, we don't need you worrying too much and making them worry more. Whatever happens we can handle but freaking out about things like... A simple cold or some guy flirting with you... It doesn't help. Helping is being there but not smothering, I... I really like you, and I missed you so much, more than you can know... But I need space as well."
"I know..." Tony nodded "And I'm sorry for freaking out over things like that, but I just... I like you, but I love Peter." he said softly "And it may seem like just a simple cold, but not to me. I-I know he's not my kid and again, I'm sorry if I'm getting in your business, but I... Peter's very precious to me, as weird as it may sound." he sighed, looking down "And I can't stand to see him in pain. No matter how small. But you're right, I wasn't helping the situation. And I'm sorry, really. I'll try to be better."
Darn little Omega making everyone fall in love with him, but it did make Steve smile to know he had such a good kid. "Peter's a lot stronger than you think he is, Tony. And... I know that we're dating, but you're not his father. Not... not yet, at any rate. And even if you love him, just... let me handle it. He's my son... ok?" Steve didn't know how to explain what he wanted to explain.
"I know he's strong, but I still worry. Steve, just because I'm saying I care about him, or express that I care about him, it doesn't mean I try to take your place or become his new dad or anything..." Tony said gently, lacing their fingers together. "You're still his father. Always will be. Me being around-if you allow me to be, that is, he'll choose you over me any day. Me being in the picture won't change that, you know that right?" He asked, hoping Steve did know how much Peter loved him.
"...Of course... but... I'm not saying you're trying to take my place... I'm saying that... it's too much." Steve sighed. "I wanna be with you, but I need you to not get upset when I tell you I need space or to look after my son myself..."
"But that's the thing, I'm not upset because of that, okay? You do what's best for your baby and I understand that. You're not the reason I'm upset at you but to me it feels like..." pausing, pondering whether or not he should mention it at all, Tony decided to take the risk, hoping Steve won't get mad at him. "It feels like... You let someone in a long time ago... Like you let me in right now... And they disappointed you. And you're afraid to open up again. But then again, you asked me out, so there's a chance I might be wrong. Maybe it's simple and I'm looking too much into it. Maybe you just need to be in charge of things and if it's like that, I'll leave it alone, but... If there's more to it, I'd like to know." Tony looked up at him once he'd stopped rambling. "When you're ready to tell me." Tony added "Obviously."
"You're not wrong, but you're also not right. It's not about me keeping my walls up. It's about me being human enough to know that people can be cruel and utter idiots. It's not me being..." He paused, trying to show Tony he didn't fully mean what he was about to say. "Not me being gullible and naive, and pretending that the entire world is nice and that I can make anyone love me with just a smile and a good attitude... I know people have hurt you too. I get it, I really do... but Tony... I can't be like you are with the world. Nice 24/7, acting like everyone's a holy angel that shits rainbows... I don't have my wall up, I just know better..."
Taking in every word said by Steve, Tony considered it, then nodded, speaking calmly. "I know I seem like that a lot, but I'm not as naive as everyone thinks I am. Honestly, I have days where I don't even want to get out of bed because I just feel really shitty but I still do. Because... Because I just do. Because people expect me to, and I don't want to let them down. When people expect you to be a certain way, you just... Be that. I'm nice to people because that's just how I am, because people weren't always kind to me, and I don't want others going through what I had to go through if I can help it. And I'm not nice all the time. Take the incident with Tal for example. I have my experiences with people, and I know what they're capable of. Plenty. You're right. I was hurt before but..." Tony shrugged "What happened happened and I can't control the past. I can only control how I am in the present. What you see is... A part of who I am. And Steve, if you don't feel like you can accept this part of me or if I'm too much for you... I say we end it before anyone gets hurt."
"Then you see my point." Steve actually smiled now. "I can't change the fact that you enjoy being a kind person, and I don't want to change that, I love that about you. The world hasn't taken ALL of your good nature and I respect that. But all I ask is that you don't try to change me either. I don't want to change that I'm protective over my son, because I'm not overly protective and I don't let him get away with whatever he wants. I've always prided myself on being a good father, even if I'm not good at anything else. I don't want to break down every single shield I have around myself, I will be truthful and honest and I will be the best boyfriend to you... But I won't change who I am. I'm rational, I'm stern, but I'm caring." Steve sighed.
"I know, " Tony returned the smile as he tenderly kissed Steve's lips, pulling away to tell him; "I know. I don't want you to change, Steve. I like you just like that. Rational, stern, gentle, caring, sweet mess." he laughed, kissing Steve's neck as he whispered. "I won't have you any other way. Okay?" He smiled. "I'll take you as you are, Steve Grant Rogers. Or I won't take you at all."
Steve nodded, it would take a while for him to accept that Tony did actually think that, despite the fact that he knew it was true, but he would try to accept himself as Tony did. He paused and laughed. "My middle names not Grant."
Tony gave him a weird look. "Yes it is, I've heard Fury call you that?"
Steve laughed even harder. "Fury gives me a new middle name every time he's mad at me."
"What!" Tony laughed. "Well then, what's your real middle name then?"
"Promise you won't laugh?" Steve asked, already blushing slightly. For a wolf, or a werewolf, the middle name was the wolfs name, and it was a sign of bonding to reveal it to someone. Close bonding.
"Cross my heart and hope to die."
"It's... ˈKaptən." he answered, his accent sounding Hebrew in origin. His own tribe was descended from a mix between native Americans and Jewish, and each tribe seemed to have their own dialect though all wolves understood each other. "Kinda earned me the Nickname 'Captain', or Cap as Tal likes to call me..." he shrugged, still blushing. The fact that he could actually say his name to Tony meant the wolf had somewhat forgiving his partner, that was good at least.
Nuzzling the man's neck, Tony smiled softy as he said; "I love it. Steve Kaptən Rogers. Suits you.'' he whispered, "Well, let me rephrase that again: I'll take all of you, Steve Kaptən Rogers, or I won't take you at all. You got that?"
Steve smirked "deal."
"It's a promise, " Tony winked, watching Peter play with a small smile on his face, head resting on Steve's shoulder. "I know we have our differences... But I think we can make another very happy"
Steve watched Peter as well. "I hope so."
"Me too..." Tony whispered "Me too, honey."
Steve called Peter over using his telepathy and the young boy came running over, sensing that things were already somewhere better but he still wanted an explanation. "Hey, bud." Tony smiled, picking him up and placing him on the bench where he was comfortably snuggled between the two of them. "You having fun?"
Peter nodded slightly and hugged Steve, looking back at Tony like he was awaiting an explanation, it was adorable and kinda scary.
"What? Do I have a bee on my face?" Tony laughed, bopping Peter's nose. He actually knew what Peter wanted, but looked at Steve for permission to tell him about it and waited to see if Steve wanted to tell him first.
"Not all the details, just the basics." Steve told him, stroking Peter's mop of hair.
Nodding, Tony looked at Peter, holding his little hand in his own, speaking in a soft tone "Well, you see what happened was, there was this problem I had with a mean guy, and I didn't tell your daddy about it, and that made him sad."
"Was it that smelly guy from the market?" Peter scrunched his nose in disgust. "I don't like him. He's mean and stinky." He said which made Tony chuckled with a nod.
"Yeah, that mean stinky guy. He's been bothering me for a long time and I hid that from daddy because I thought it was the right thing to do. But it wasn't okay for me to do that. I should have been honest and told your father about what was bothering me instead of hiding him truth. And I did! Well, now." Tony shrugged "And we made up. Alright?"
Peter seemed to think for a second, which was adorable, but he nodded, quickly accepting the answer. If his dad was happy he was happy.
Tony hummed "Good. You guys ate yet, though?"
Steve nodded "yep."
"That's good." Tony nodded "Uh, by the way. I don't know if this is a good time or not, I hope it is, but well... Do you... Still wanna go to the art gallery tomorrow night?" Tony asked timidly, hoping Steve would say yes.
Steve smiled "I think you just ruined the surprise..."
Tony realised he hadn't actually told Steve about the gallery because he wanted to see Steve's face when they walked in. "Oh, man!" Tony pouted but soon broke into a small smile. "So, is that a yes, or?"
"You already know the answer." Steve smirked.
"I do, but I wanna heart you say it~"
Steve rolled his eyes jokingly. "Yes, Tony."
"That's what I like to hear!" Tony smiled, standing up from the bench with Peter in his arms, giving Steve a soft grin as he extended his hand. "Now, how about that movie? I heard my couch is pretty nice this time of the year."
Steve gave a small happy sigh and accepted Tony's hand.
"I really like it." Tony smiled, resting his head on Steve's shoulder as they walked together towards Tony's apartment "When you do the little happy sigh thing. I don't know why, you being happy makes me happy too..." he sighed contently. "Is that weird?"
"Definitely not."
Tony beamed, happy with himself. He felt like he had achieved a great task. "I was thinking we could watch a Disney movie with Peter, or something?"
Peter clapped his hands, completely delighted with the idea of watching his favourite movies with his two favourite people. Tony smiled. "Well, someone likes my idea." he chuckled, kissing the crest of Peter's head.
"Can we daddy? Pleaseeee?" Peter asked, pulling out the puppy eyes, sticking out his bottom lip.
"Only if we get to watch Wreck It Ralph" Steve smirked.
"If we're also watching Beauty and the beast I'm down," Tony smirked back, opening the door of his apartment in which Peter lost no time in dashing in. The kid ran directly in the pile of blankets Tony knitted out of stress which he snuggled into, making Tony laugh. "You like that, Petey?" Peter nodded, hugging the blue comfy material to his chest "Fluff!"
"I wanna watch tangled!" Peter exclaimed.
"Let's just see all of them, " Tony laughed, quite literally throwing himself on the couch and petting the seat next to him "attention and all aboard, last ticked for the seat beside me, take it while it's warm!"
Steve tried to look put out but he couldn't help laughing at his boys antics. "Fine, a few movies, but I will have to go back to S.H.I.E.L.D later, I've got some stuff to sort out with the group."
Tony nodded. "Of course! Now, come on, it's Disney time~"
Steve sat down on the sofa and Peter crawled into his dads lap, excited for the films.